Back to Top

Monthly Archives: July 2020

Brexit’s Comin’ ‘Ome – 16 July

In our latest round up, we report on the tsunami of project reality stories on Brexit now starting to appear. Our extensive work on the street confirms that most Leavers are now extremely angry about being lied to. Leave voters now understand the toxic cocktail of Corona + Brexit on their lives and livelihoods. This is why our Government is spending another £1 billion telling us to “Get Ready for Brexit”. We’ve already spent similar sums of OUR taxes TWICE!

Phones 4 EU

Leave voters are astonished to learn that Brexit means they will have to:

Pay for private health insurance. In 2019 the average cost of private health insurance in the US was $20 576. This is why Boris Johnson uses the euphemism “Get Ready for Brexit”. “Get Ready for Death” does not trip off the tongue quite so well …

Pay additional phone roaming charges. The EU outlawed these charges. At the moment, phone companies have indicated that they will not reintroduce the charges, but, of course, everyone budgets are stretched, they will be allowed to do so and Brexit will provide them with the perfect excuse for reintroduction of roaming charges.

Register your pets for trips to European countries 4 months before travel. The EU Pet Passport will no longer apply.

Join us at Cats Against Brexit Mayhem – click the image to connect

Apply for work permits and visas. You may also need an IDP.

We have been warning of these effects for nearly four years. Our Tunbridge Wells correspondent sums it up well:

“If we insist on taking up a position like Belarus, we will be treated like Belarus” – Adrian Elkins-Daukes

If you are not sure of the rules, check the official advice on GOV.UK

Write to your MP Ask them to comment on these developments. Request that they resign if the Brexit travel promises are broken.

Nigel Farage’s Garage

This week, it was revealed that part of the garden of England will be converted into the largest lorry park in Europe, as part of desperate attempts to divert gridlocked traffic from the M20 and M2 after Brexit. This will produce a plethora of problems:

Only 2% of lorry drivers are certified to travel to the EU. This will lead to shortages in supply chains and other impacts. The Government has withdrawn its advice on what hauliers have to do under Brexit.

Michael Gove reported that the lorry park project is to cost £705 million or “one Johnson Jet paint job”. Much more importantly, the cost to businesses is estimated by HMRC at a staggering £20 billion per year.

New Brexit Currency : One Paint Job = One Billion

In order to maintain refrigeration for chilled food and pharmaceuticals, lorry drivers will be forced to run their engines, spewing diesel into the Kent countryside around Ashford, Canterbury, Thanet and the Cinque Ports. We face the difficult choice of food and life saving drug shortages or smog in East Kent with considerable impact on climate change.

Ashford Council were not consulted about these arrangements. This appears to have been done under a direct power and land grab from the council. Even Tory MP Damien Green has complained about the manner of the desperate changes.

Meanwhile, Manston airport is to be re-opened as a logistics and passenger terminal, long after a review concluded that it was too far away from London to be seriously considered. Desperate times call for desperate measures … this is clearly another Brexit unicorn.

Write to Damien Green to express your concerns about the devastation of the local area, the ludicrous waste of money and the impact on gridlock on Kent’s two main arteries.

James O’Brien was credited with the catch phrase Farage’s Garage – turns out that we coined the phrase over a year ago

Red tape replaced by Blue tape

One of the biggest proclaimed benefits of Brexit was the statement by Jacob Rees-Mogg that Brexit would result in the removal of a tsunami of red tape. It seems that Jacob was lying and we find that the red tape will be replaced by blue tape. We are not troubled by the colour of the tape, just that it exists. And it’s not just the hassle factor of 215 million customs declarations a year for individuals and businesses. The FT reported an additional cost of £7 billion EVERY year.

“If it’s good enough for India, it’s good enough for us” – Jacob Rees- Mogg

The changes at UK borders will cost £13 billion.

That’s £13 billion off business bottom lines and £13 billion on your cost of living as a consumer.

In case you have forgotten, we are doing Brexit to save £39 billion.

But we’ve already spent £200 billion on Brexit and counting.

Then there is the £20 billion and £7 billion pa to add in.

Imagine running your household budget in this way?

Write to your MP Ask for a business plan for Brexit at the “Net Present Value” (NPV) of the Brexit project. Ask how they plan to reimburse the net cost of Brexit per person at some £1500 per person per year and to articulate how this will be more than made up by a stream of personal benefits to you and your family.

Our writing is part of our overall ambition to restore trust and decency in politics. Please support our work at Go Fund Me.

Cummings Road Trip for eyesight tests

Here are the details of our marathon road trip from Islington to Old Durham Town … in the B*llocks to Brexit Mini. Please support the venture via Go Fund Me.


I’m gonna leave old Durham Town … to check my eyesight

The “B*llocks to Brexit” Mini Cooper known as “Johnson” is making an unprecedented historic trip from Dominic Cummings house in Islington to Durham under strict COVID-safe conditions, so that the driver Peter Cook can get his eyesight checked.  Peter is taking the excursion from Islington to Barnard Castle for his wife’s birthday and will be stopping at a few beauty spots along the way.  The trip, inspired by Dominic Cummings, has been arranged by EU Flag Mafia in conjunction with Rage Against The Brexit Machine, to highlight the problems of adding Corona crisis to Brexit disaster, creating a “Britastrophe”.  We will be performing songs from our catalogue of anti-Brexit songs, including ‘Alo Vera – Brexit’s Comin’ ‘Ome and a Chas & Dave Cockney Brexit Knees Up.

11% loss in GDP from Corona, when added to 9% predicted loss from Brexit will make an exponential impact on jobs, lives and livelihoods of people in Britain.  Johnson the Mini will make the journey in order to wake people up to the oncoming economic and social tsunami.  We only needed 3.5% GDP loss to create the 2008 crash.  Corona is a natural born crisis and we must endure it.  However, we don’t need to add the man-made Brexit disaster to the mix.

“Johnson’s driver” Peter Cook is taking a four-year-old baby “Bobo” on this historic journey.  Bobo has promised not to urinate for the entire trip, although the Mini will be making stops in Rugby, Manchester, North Yorkshire and Newcastle, also taking in Southampton, Dorset, Wiltshire and Kent in the coming weeks.  For Baby Bobo, it is a UST (Urination Stamina Test).

“Rules are rules and we must stick to them for everyone’s safety, even if Johnson, Cummings, Farage, Jenrick, Half Cock Handcock and Papa Bojo choose not to”

The last time “Johnson” made an appearance on Britain’s roads, we were stopped by an Essex Traffic Policeman Smith, in a rage on the M25 motorway.  PC Smith asked us to remove the signage on the car on the hard shoulder of the M25, putting the police officer and the passengers at risk of death.  We are hoping to return to Essex to meet PC Smith for a cuppa.  Smith has not been located by Essex Police some 8 months after we provided his full details to the force …

Peter hopes that “Dick and Dom” aka Boris and Dominic will hear our call that this is the worst time to take Brexit out of the microwave.  If they checked their eyesight, they would now realise that there is a substantial gap in the will of the people, with nearly a ten-point gap of people now wishing to remain a member of the EU.  All that is needed is courage and political will to change the oncoming “Britastrophe”.   

“We must re-boot Britain in the wake of Corona.  It’s time for our leaders to show true courage and take a bold move to build, build, build a Better Britain in a Better Europe for a Better World.  To this end I have formed an unpolitical party to end all political parties.  It’s time we had leaders that we could look up to and trust.  Our movement is designed to help achieve that.  I’m proud to work with EU Flag mafia to help put the great back in Britain.

3 Dec 2019 – London, UK – Minis in Essex Street, London in a stunt organised and crowdfunded by anti-brexit campaigning group EU Flag Mafia.

p.s.  We have just received a request to take “Johnson” to Greece to check our eyesight, via Bulgaria.  We are just checking the logistics of the trip, although all seems well, since Stanley Johnson recently made a similar pilgrimage to check on a holiday let.

For an exclusive interview on our “Unprecedented Ocular Pilgrimage” around the UK, please contact Peter Cook, Brexorcist in Chief on 07725 927585

Later with Jools Holland

Today we visited Cooling Castle, home of Jools Holland with the Bollocks to Brexit Mini Cooper. Here is a report from our resident maritime consultant and Brexit sea dog Don.

I arrived at the rendezvous at 5 bells in the Afternoon Watch. That is 14.30 for landlubbers and when the big hand is on the six and the little hand is on the two for Gammons and Tories. My fellow Saboteurs came separately. For those who have not been paying attention “Saboteur” is the term of derision that Gammons and Tories chose to refer to decent people who oppose Brexit. The term quickly fell out of favour in Gammon and Tory circles when we pointed out that “Saboteur” was what Vichyites called the French Resistance. Comparing me to the French Resistance is about the nicest thing anybody ever said about me. I took it as a compliment: Vive les Saboteurs! “Vive la Resistance” Merde a Brexit!

The Bulwarks to Brexitmobile led the convoy and we drove around the environs. We set up a stall in Gillingham High Street near the church and our musical director set up his gear and serenaded us with anti-Brexit music. I chose a spot where I could keep a look out for Gammons, Tories and nobbled coppers. We did not hand out leaflets for social distancing reasons. I saw somebody advance purposefully towards our musical director. I thought I might be needed but I did the newcomer an injustice. He wanted to get involved. Took a couple of our flags and joined in the fun.

Nigel Farage’s Garage – one of the songs we performed on the street

A few people gave filthy looks and made vulgar gestures then moved on quickly. For the most part people were supportive, gave the thumbs up and wanted to photograph us. After a while we set off for Rochester. It was much the same there. Some people walked off pointedly refusing to look at us while others gave the thumbs up. By this time my old knee injury was playing up so I decided to call it a day. I can walk for miles and feel better for it but standing around plays havoc with my old injuries.

People in Ashford are unhappy about recent developments. It has sunk in that Brexit is going to cause delays at Customs so this hopeless inept government is setting up a huge lorry park for stranded trade vehicles. The site had been chosen for a new Amazon facility that would have provided employment. Instead they are going to get trucks belching diesel fumes because the drivers will need to run the engines to keep refrigeration plants working. That will not improve the atmosphere at all. This is not the earthly paradise that the people of East Kent thought they would get when they voted for Brexit.

The Brexit Mindset summed up

Tomorrow we go to Tunbridge Wells on a circular tour starting at 11.00:

Route will include London Rd, High St, Sainsbury car park, Mt Pleasant, Town Hall,  Monson Rd, Camden Rd, Powdermill Lane, Southboro High St. Then back down St John’s Rd, Mt Ephraim Rd, brief stop at Victoria Place, back up Lime Hill to London Rd.

There remains a possibility to visit Hythe and East Kent later on tomorrow.

Join us on Zoom tonight at 8 pm via

Ham and High on Brexit

We have a full feature in the Islington Gazette, part of the iconic Ham and High imprint – a cultural icon of North London, which remains alive and kicking under the “death of culture” under Brexit populism.

See The Ham and High for the full piece.

The journalist asked what should happen to Cummings now. Here was my full answer:

“Bearing in mind that Cummings wants the civil service to run more like a business, I suggest that he receive similar treatment from my expertise as a business consultant and leadership author. Let Cummings be subject to SMART objectives, long and short-term performance goals, critical success factors, milestones and a personal balanced scorecard. With monthly appraisals, mentoring, spot bonuses and awards for targets achieved and sackings for major transgressions of his job description. By these measures Cummings should already be down the job centre”.

Join us on our trip to Barnard Castle to check your eyesight via

Saturday 10 July 7 am at Stonehenge, then Salisbury, Blandford Forum, Dorchester (10 am), Bournemouth 12 ish, Poole, Weymouth, plus other stops on the way.

Sunday 11 July – Wiltshire, including Chippenham, Devizes, Cricklade, Swindon then Berkshire, London and Kent.

Tuesday 13 July – Medway in Kent from 2 pm onwards including Jools Holland’s place.

If you cannot attend in person, please support us via Go Fund Me.