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Monthly Archives: November 2020

Get Ready for the Brexit Wars

Get Ready for The Brexit Wars

In case you are unaware occasionally we parody the immense stupidity and lies from populist newspapers. Here is today’s edition as we get ready for the Brexit wars. This includes some fact checking below, in case you are unable to separate Brexit fact from fiction.

Get Ready for The Brexit Wars

Facts and Fiction Checker

Conservative MP George “Useless” Eustace told farmers to switch from Sheep to Cows in the wake of almost certain bankruptcy in the face of 35% tariffs on Lamb. Useless Eustace also told Danish firm Lurpak to move production of their butter to Britain. Sadly Lurpak pointed out that it would be illegal. In any case, why would they wish to locate themselves in Brexit Britain?

Boris Johnson has suggested that Parliament will not have time to approve a Brexit deal. So, when he said “Take Back Control”, he meant for himself rather than Parliament or the People. In the words of Johnny Rotten:

Ever got the feeling you’ve been cheated?

Farmers fear that the turkeys they are rearing will be too big for Christmas. Some (turkeys, not farmers) have in fact been put on diets.

Johnson has summoned up more jingoistic rhetoric about war with his announcement of more money for our military. This amounts to more distraction from COVID and Brexit. And like most of Johnson’s announcements, it’s not quite what it seems …

Minister for the 18th Century, Jacob Rees-Mogg did quote Caractacus on Parliament the other day, but did not make an explicit connection between Rolf Harris and his song The Court of King Caractacus. Unfortunately many other people did. Please reply to Jake The Peg …

Meanwhile, it has been reported that 62% of British people now want to stay in the EU. 60% of people feel that the EU has handled the pandemic well.

In the ultimate irony, it seems that “forins” will be manning the border posts if Brexit proceeds. They very thing that Brexiteers wanted will not come to pass and they will have their blue passports inspected by Romanians and Indians. Oh, the joy on their faces!

A book on Brexit has been released. Entitled “The Benefits of Brexit“. The book contains 234 BLANK pages. Some Brexiteers are outraged, having bought the book to find it devoid of inspiration. Here’s my review:

If you want a good book on how to have difficult conversations about Brexit around the Slimfast Christmas Turkey, please find our book on Brexorcism on Amazon.


Write to MPs and the European Union. Ask them to help Suspend Brexit in the wake of Corona.

Read our article on Suspending Brexit and share widely.

Get ready for the Brexit Wars … here’s an echo of what Johnson has created …

SuspEND Brexit

Priti Woman

Priti Woman – Bully Back Better

There is very little to say other than watch the video – a remake of the classic Roy Orbison song Pretty Woman (sorry Roy) – Priti Woman – Bully Back Better. Over 27 years I have written 12 books on business leadership and it is true to say that “the fish rots from the head”. Boris Johnson’s tolerance and even encouragement of bullying is probably a reflection of the Bullingdon bullying, which characterises our testosterone fuelled Brexit administration. In case you are unsure about Boris Johnson’s record on bullying, remember watermelon smiles, bum boys in tank tops and piccaninnies. Not to mention the numerous insults he has made about “Remoaners”. The characterisation of 1/4 of your people as doomsayers, pessimists and so on is a shameful element of Boris Johnson’s legacy as a Prime Minister and will pay him back badly in terms of cohesion and commitment to recover from our “Britastrophe“.

Priti Patel has chosen to fit in with the Johnson alpha male bullying stereotype, rather than stand out for a more humanistic approach to questions of asylum, immigration and, of course, Brexit. This is particularly disappointing as females have the opportunity to present a more emotionally intelligent form of leadership than many members of the male gender. If you have to shout and swear to maintain authority as a leader, you have failed, plain and simple.

You may have to wash your eyes out with bleach after watching the video !! 🙂 Warning, contains images of Johnson and other Bullingdon Bullies:

Priti Woman was recorded in record time with Rachel Ashley in Cheshire. We collaborated online to produce the song, using words I wrote in bed on Saturday morning 21 November 2020. Priti Woman – Bully Back Better can be found on The Brexit Party Album – The Party album to end all parties. I’ve had a bit of pushback from the usual Remainers who found the video offensive, although they did not specify whether it was the dildos, cats or BDSM allusions. Remember Priti is in charge here. I was more “disturbed” that no one has so far mentioned the fact that the “whips” are all timed to be “on the one” and that each whipping pans the entire stereo field in the time taken to crack the whip. The Chief Whip should take note …

Bullying is not cool

In case of doubt, here is the foreword to The Ministerial Code, written by Boris Johnson. It is virtually unrecognisable in terms of the difference between the code and current practice:

The mission of this Government is to deliver Brexit on 31st October 2019 for the purpose of uniting and re-energising our whole United Kingdom and making this country the greatest place on earth.

We will seize the opportunities offered by Brexit, investing in education, technology and infrastructure, unlocking the talents of the whole nation and levelling up across our United Kingdom so that no town or community is ever again left behind or forgotten. In doing so, we will make our country the greatest place to invest or set up a business, the greatest place to send your kids to school and the greatest place in the world to live and bring up a family.

To fulfil this mission, and win back the trust of the British people, we must uphold the very highest standards of propriety – and this code sets out how we must do so.

There must be no bullying and no harassment; no leaking; no breach of
collective responsibility. No misuse of taxpayer money and no actual or
perceived conflicts of interest. The precious principles of public life enshrined in this document – integrity, objectivity, accountability, transparency, honesty and leadership in the public interest – must be honoured at all times; as must the political impartiality of our much admired civil service.

Crucially, there must be no delay – and no misuse of process or procedure by any individual Minister that would seek to stall the collective decisions necessary to deliver Brexit and secure the wider changes needed across our United Kingdom.

The time has come to act, to take decisions, and to give strong leadership to change this country for the better.

That is what this Government will do.


Write to the Conservative Party and call for Priti Patel’s resignation

Read all about Brexit Choices still open to us at Brexit Choices

Watch our groundbreaking interviews with former MEPs at VIP Interviews

Amplify some tweets and copy to people who need to act:

Even Larry is incatdescent
Cummings Goings on

Cummings Goings on

Dominic Cummings, Chief Adviser to the Prime Minister and would be dictator, has gone. He leaves behind  an unparalleled  legacy of chaos and destruction.  

  • All power is centralised at No 10,  with key functions such as appointments, vetting and control of data the exclusive preserve of the Chief Adviser.
  • His nominees occupy key posts for which they are totally unqualified.
  • Ministers opposing him have been sacked and most of the rest have proved second rate or worse.
  • The functions of the cabinet have been usurped by a crowd of unelected advisors who, according to the last Cabinet Secretary, meet and take decisions with no ministers present.
  • Parliament has been sidelined and MPs contemptuously disregarded.
  • To cap it all, there are clauses in the Internal Market Bill, now before Parliament, permitting the government to legislate by executive order over a broad field.

This bill is currently blocked by the House of Lords, and is also in breach of international law. But even if the latter aspect is eventually removed under pressure from the United States and EU, the danger of increased government by decree will remain.

This is the state of democratic government in the UK as 2020 comes to a close.

Many years ago, Lord Hailsham warned that Britain was an ‘elected dictatorship.’ Now we can see what sort of dictatorship it can become in the wrong hands. 

Whilst we are here, please continue to share the Priti Woman Bully Back Better video which had over 1000 views yesterday. Share with your MP.

Article image by Cold War Steve


Write to members of the House of Lords. Encourage them to continue upholding the rule of law.

Write to Tory MPs, the opposition and EU leaders to ask them to continue to scrutinise foul play by our Government.

Please support our continuing activism with the Bollocks to Brexit Mini in the coming weeks.

Bollocks to Brexit
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Dogged by dogma

Cummings has gone – But it’s business as usual as we remain dogged by dogma.

The departure of Chief Adviser Dominic Cummings aroused some hope of a new beginning:

  • Dogma would be replaced by realism.
  • Honesty would replace corruption and cronyism.
  • Respect for the rule of law and our constitutional conventions would be restored. 

This has already proved to be naive. The Culture Secretary is pursuing plans to abolish the BBC and replace it with American-style radio and TV. Hancock has given an influential post in the health department to a lobbyist, a former girlfriend from university. The Government still ignores appeals from business to postpone Brexit at least until the pandemic has abated and normal conditions restored – an attitude described by one commentator as about as sensible as a man with a broken leg trying to take part in a marathon. 

Get Ready for 30 miles traffic jams, portaloos and dogging stations

Above all, there is no sign in the EU negotiations of the government compromising on its demand to be able to bribe foreign investors on terms which are denied to EU members themselves. As Johnson and Frost well know, this is incompatible with any level playing field and strikes at the heart of the EU’s single market. Their refusal to compromise on this key issue makes it plain that ‘No Deal’ has been their aim alI along. If that occurs, the resultant expense, disruption and impoverishment will be 100% their responsibility, and theirs alone. Paradoxically, it may perhaps also hasten their downfall and open the way for more reasonable successors to negotiate a closer relationship with the EU or even rejoin earlier than might otherwise have been the case. They may in fact come to be dogged by dogma.

Take Action – Click on the links

Report MPs for breaking international law

Find out why Suspending Brexit is still possible

Find out why Rejoining is a unicorn in the mid-long term

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Brexshit hits the fan

Brexshit hits the Fan

On this day when the Government says that we need to extend Brexit negotiations and that Brexit is all Cummings’ fault anyway. It also emerges that a US trade deal is years away. Here, we offer a news roundup via the medium of the satirical “Kent Massager”, as Brexshit hits the fan.

In case of doubt …

FACT : The Daily Express DID report on FURY re our Kent Toilet of Britain project. In fact it was not mass fury. FICTION : The Express managed to find just ONE person, in Yorkshire, who objected to the signs in Kent.

Don’t read the Daily Express, click to read the “Excess”

FACT : Trials at the border show that if it takes 70 seconds to check a lorry, a five mile queue ensues. We can expect significant and continuing gridlock in Kent and maybe even into Sussex, Surrey and London if Brexit happens.

FACT : The Archbishop of Canterbury has rebuked the Government over breaking Manifesto promises on overseas aid.

FACT : There has been a prediction of an increase in dogging in Kent after Brexit. We are not sure why it matters but there you go. I prefer Labradors to Terriers myself. How about you?

FICTION : Priti Patel has NOT unblocked a toilet. FACT : She has blocked the futures of EU Citizens living in UK and UK Citizens living in Europe. Our video Priti Woman has been banned for under 18’s after complaints by the Conservative party. We don’t know why. Here it is for your pleasure.

Brexshit hits the Fan


Write to Tory MPs, the opposition and EU leaders to ask them to continue to scrutinise foul play by our Government.

Watch our interviews with former MEPs who blow the myths that Brexit is inevitable away.

Write to members of the House of Lords. Encourage them to continue upholding the rule of law.

SuspEND Brexit
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