Outside my life on here, I am a business person so, of course, I’m keen to harvest the benefits of Brexit. I’m impatient to discover what they are, as I have been promised a bright future over many years. First I decided to assess the cost-benefits of our new found sovereignty.
SOVRINTY INNIT
I discovered that Britain always had our sovereignty. This was demonstrated in the Supreme Court by Gina Miller. It was actually stated in the Brexit Withdrawal Agreement. How else were we able to close our borders for COVID in 2020 without asking the EU? We have kept the Pound. We turned down Billions of Euros of EU assistance for the Corona crisis. Now we even have our own “British sovereign variant” of Corona, according to Boris Johnson. But I am told by Boris Johnson that 67 million of us each now own a great big bag of sovereignty. To assess the value, I have put my bag up for auction on e-bay for £10 000.
Sadly, no one has taken up the offer of the bag. I am prepared to take one penny. Does nobody place any value on it? Will it buy a lunch box for a hungry child?
The Hunger Games
Meanwhile, the real Hunger Games are just beginning. In Northern Ireland, supermarket shelves are emptying, as it becomes apparent that frictionless trade was yet another Brexit unicorn sold by serial liar Michael Gove. In schools, our Government has been so possessed by Brexit that it is unable to organise itself to feed children under lockdown.
Perhaps Jacob Rees-Mogg was on the money when he said that he was not troubled by a few smugglers after Brexit. Here is the Brexit Smuggler’s Song after Rudyard Kipling.
Brexit Priorities
Finally, here is a wonderful poem by Barry Fentiman-Hall called “When Brexit comes (you will not be prioritised)”
When Brexit comes
You will not be prioritised
White is not the original canvas
On which the world was colourized
Jim Davidson will not make a comeback
Chalky was not really his friend
You are not the beginning of anything
Nor the default setting
You will queue for cabbages
With a pantone nation
When Brexit comes
You will not be prioritised
God is not an Englishman
You are not his messenger
Sent to wash the world in shocking pink
Dunkirk was a defeat
A flotilla of weekend pleasure boats
Are not coming to save you
And neither is Sir John Mills with a cold Danish beer
There are no exceptions
You will be on universal credit
With Jakub, Karosh, and Li Cheng
When Brexit comes
You will not be prioritised
How you voted is irrelevant
Maggie and Winston are dead racists and their statues will be pissed on by poodles and shat on by doves
Theresa May will never be any more of a statue than she is now
Conservatism is not a natural state
It does not appear
In the periodic table of elements
The calcium in your bones
Will be at the same levels as your anarchist neighbour
When Brexit comes you will not be prioritised
We are finally all in it together
You and I
There will be no further extension
Brexit will come
It will be televised live from your living room…
And you will be the star…
I’ve just seen this comment Carol – Thank you – yes we do need to get it out there. I am often castigated by Remainers for suggesting that we need to be visible.
Really great, now we need to get it out there. Now I have a question for all Brexiteers.” Are you happy that…” Add your own ending.