We organised an audacious tour with the Bollocks to Brexit Mini, starting with the Reading Festival and via a full tour of the UK.
Cummings and Goings
I’m gonna leave old Durham Town … to check my eyesight2020
The “B*llocks to Brexit” Mini Cooper known as “Johnson” made an unprecedented historic trip to Durham under strict COVID-safe conditions, so that the driver could get his eyesight checked by taking an excursion to Barnard Castle for his wife’s birthday and stopping at a few beauty spots. The trip, inspired by Dominic Cummings, was arranged by EU Flag Mafia in conjunction with Rage Against The Brexit Machine, to highlight the problems of adding Corona crisis to Brexit disaster, creating a “Britastrophe”.
11% loss in GDP from Corona, when added to a continuous 4.5% predicted loss from Brexit will make an exponential impact on jobs, lives and livelihoods of people in Britain. Johnson the Mini made the journey in order to wake people up to the oncoming economic and social tsunami. We only needed 3.5% GDP loss to create the 2008 crash. Corona is a natural born crisis and we must endure it. However, we don’t need to add the man-made Brexit disaster to the mix.
“Johnson’s driver” Peter Cook took a four-year-old baby “Bobo” on this historic journey. Bobo promised not to urinate for the entire trip, although the Mini made stops in Rugby, Manchester, North Yorkshire and Newcastle, also taking in Southampton, Dorset, Wiltshire and Kent on another tour. For Baby Bobo, it is a UST (Urination Stamina Test).
“Rules are rules and we must stick to them for everyone’s safety, even if Johnson, Cummings, Farage, Jenrick, Half Cock Handcock and Papa Bojo choose not to”
The last time “Johnson” made an appearance on Britain’s roads, we were stopped by an Essex Traffic Policeman Smith, in a rage on the M25 motorway. PC Smith asked us to remove the signage on the car on the hard shoulder of the M25, putting the police officer and the passengers at risk of death. We are hoping to return to Essex to meet PC Smith for a cuppa. Smith has not been located by Essex Police some 8 months after we provided his full details to the force …
EU Flag Mafia are hoping that “Dick and Dom” aka Boris and Dominic will hear our call that this is the worst time to take Brexit out of the microwave. If they checked their eyesight, they would now realise that there is a substantial gap in the will of the people, with nearly a ten-point gap of people now wishing to remain a member of the EU. All that is needed is courage and political will to change the oncoming “Britastrophe”.
“We must re-boot Britain in the wake of Corona. It’s time for our leaders to show true courage and take a bold move to build, build, build a Better Britain in a Better Europe for a Better World. To this end I have formed an unpolitical party to end all political parties. It’s time we had leaders that we could look up to and trust. Our movement is designed to help achieve that. I’m proud to work with EU Flag mafia to help put the great back in Britain.
p.s. We have just received a request to take “Johnson” to Greece to check our eyesight, via Bulgaria. We are just checking the logistics of the trip, although all seems well, since Stanley Johnson recently made a similar pilgrimage to check on a holiday let.
For an exclusive interview on our “Unprecedented Ocular Pilgrimage” around the UK, please contact Peter Cook, Brexorcist in Chief on email@example.com
Strictly Necessary Cookies
Strictly Necessary Cookie should be enabled at all times so that we can save your preferences for cookie settings.
If you disable this cookie, we will not be able to save your preferences. This means that every time you visit this website you will need to enable or disable cookies again.