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Monthly Archives: April 2022

Sunny Uplands

Sunny UPLANDS

Telegravda
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EXTRACT from the book Private Eyelines. I’ve noticed that everything is UP in the post-Brexit sunny uplands world. What could have possibly caused this?

Costs of children’s shoes are UP by 20% shortly. Jacob Rees-Mogg promised that shoe prices would plummet after Brexit. Oh dear, Jake was wrong.

Inflation in UK is UP at over 6%. This is exceptional.

Gas prices are UP by 54% In France they are UP by 4% France levied a windfall tax on energy companies using their own sovereign powers. In Brexit Britain our Brexit freedoms seem to have prevented this. How strange?

Hunger is UP.

Food bank usage in Britain is UP, but food bank donations are DOWN.

COVID cases are UP. This is preventing the NHS from treating people with other serious conditions.

DEATHS will be UP but Boris Johnson says that COVID is DOWN. Of course, he is WRONG.

Russian influence is UP.

Sunak’s tax dodging is UP. His holidays in California are UP. More sunny uplands.

Channel 4 is UP for sale.

National debt is UP.

Petrol prices are UP.

Homelessness is UP.

Delivery times are UP.

Troubles in Northern Ireland are UP.

Fines for breaking lockdown are UP.

Postage fees are UP.

Bullshit from the Go Home Office about the Ukrainian refugee settlement scheme is UP.

Queues on the M20 / M2 in Kent are UP. P&O Ferries are only in part to blame. Since we have no resilience in our port systems after Brexit, only a small knock is needed to bring the system to a standstill.

The Brexit IT system is UP the cack. This does not help, but the underlying cause of delays in Kent is Brexit and not the IT system per se. if we did not have Brexit we would not have the crappy IT system and we would not have gridlock in Kent.

Urination is Kent is up as drivers have no place to go (freedom of movement and urination).

National Insurance is UP.

Sea levels are UP.

Hospital parking fees are UP.

Looting is UP.

Tory ethics are DOWN.

Labour is UP.

Tax is UP.

The game is UP.

With thanks to all at Re-Boot Britain for this list. The sunny uplands can only increase. This list is an extract from Private Eyelines.

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Private Eyelines
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Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com

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Sunny Uplands
Giant hedgehogs are UP
Tory Hub

Tory Hub

It seems that some Tory MPs were caught watching porn on “Tory Hub” whilst working. To those who find politics boring, I agree that it is and watching almost anything would be better than being a politician. I also don’t much care whether they were watching Neighbours or porn. The point of the matter is that they are paid to do a job and that should be the object of their work. If any people reading this were caught watching The Waltons, Eastenders, Naked Attraction or Porn Hub whilst at work, it would be a sacking offence. So it should for them.

Can you seriously vote Tory at next week’s local elections given that they prefer to watch porn on “Tory Hub” rather than do their work? Seriously? Neil Parish must resign without delay.

The meeting came amid reports that dozens of MPs, including three Cabinet ministers, are facing allegations of sexual misconduct referred to the Independent Complaints and Grievances Scheme (ICGS).

Asked about the newspaper’s original report at Prime Minister’s Questions, Boris Johnson agreed that sexual misconduct would be “grounds for dismissal” for ministers. How about corporate manslaughter of 20 000 ++ people in care homes by the Prime Minister and his Cabinet?

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Whilst we are on the subject, here’s a few choice videos – they are not pornographic by the way but You Tube deemed them PG rated:

Jacob Rees Moog – THE BREX-KIP FAR-RIGHT FAR-AGE DOMINATRIX MIX

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Brexit 

Partygate
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Priti Woman

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Priti Patel

Concentration


Daily Maul
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Priti Patel plans to send asylum seekers to Rwanda.  A modern form of concentration. In case you are unsure as to what is fact and faction in this edition of The Maul, here’s some help:

FACT:  2/3 of people seeking asylum are legal asylum seekers … but

FACT: Priti Patel’s concentration arrangement is a one-way ticket to Rwanda.  So all asylum seekers are sent to Rwanda, regardless of their status.  If they are found to be legitimate, they cannot return.

FACT: The concentration scheme will cost far more than housing migrants in The Ritz hotel in London.

FACT: The Home Office objected to the scheme but Patel forced the process through using a special order.

FACT: Priti Patel has united several religions of the world. God has found her bang out of order as have the Sikhs.

FACT: There are better alternatives identified by Yvette Cooper and others. Cooper pointed out that Australian Refugee Council offshoring figuress show 3127 people were sent to Papua New Guinea/ Nauru since 2013 at cost to Australian taxpayer of AUS$10bn. That’s £1.7m per person.  We can expect a similar order of costs here.

FACT: Israel introduced a similar system.  All those expelled fled the country and re-entered the countries they left.  There is no sense in which the British system will lead to a different outcome.

FICTION: There is no proof that Larry the cat deliberately attended lockdown parties.  After all, cats retain freedom of movement, unlike human beings after Brexit.

FICTION: Butlins are not hosting refugees in Rwanda, nor are they hoping to host holiday homes there.  Instead they prefer to host true Brits at Clacton, Greet Yarmouth, Bridlington and Camber.  Book your staycation and avoid 5 hour airport queues or even longer at the Brexit ports.

FACT: Priti Patel is subhuman scum in the Harry Enfield / Reginald Perrin sense of the word. An immigrant who has forgotten how she came to be here.

FACT: Find out more on asylum seekers here.

This inhumane scheme is unworkable, unethical illegal and will cost the earth.

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Book

Leave means Leave


Leave means Leave – by Ian Collard.

Companies continue to leave these shores for Europe.  At the outset, the government’s standard response was to deny this had anything to do with Brexit – it was just a coincidence that so many had taken the same decision.  Over time, even by their own standards of truth and accuracy, that argument was becoming difficult to defend.  In April 2022, a company in the seat represented by former government housing minister Robert ‘It was pure chance that a change I made benefitted a Tory donor’ Jenrick joined the throng an upped sticks for the continent. Brexit-supporting Newark in shock as largest employer shuts up shop and heads for mainland Europe (cityam.com)

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Face with a problem that the public were noticing ‘levelling up’ was just a slogan and that Brexit was turning out to be the disaster predicted, a government minister had a flash of inspiration:

A senior minister has highlighted that the UK is well on its way to overcoming the shortage of fruit and vegetable pickers that has been such a problem since the UK left the EU.

Highlighting specifically the freeing up of 110 potential labourers from the Goodlife factory in Newark, the minister for Brexit Excuses Jackie Dix-Sprogs said:

“Whingeing Remainers said that after Brexit there would be a shortage of people to harvest our food.  This proves they were wrong – there was no shortage, the workers were just in the wrong place.  We simply needed a way to level up and allow our highly-skilled workforce to get out there and do some back-breaking work.  Now, thanks to Brexit, firms like Goodlife are moving their operations to Europe and freeing up workers to pick crops.  This certainly doesn’t bode well for Europe as if more companies relocate, they will likely end up with a shortage of workers themselves. Leave means Leave.”

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Partygate
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Partygate

Party Party Party

It’s Party Party Party in the Telegravda. Come on down and celebrate death by Brexit. Taken from a forthcoming book on the Kafka-esque political world in which we now operate.

Partygate

FACT: Drivers stuck on the M20 [1]are not allowed to leave their cabins to urinate or defecate by Kent Police, so that traffic can continue its slow grind towards Dover. It’s not Party Party Party if you are stuck in your cab with a bottle of urine and a pile of Brexshit on the floor.

FICTION: The M20 has not been turned into a rave venue and the drivers are not drinking their own urine during ‘Operation Pisspot’[2].

FICTION: Sue Gray has not shown up in Ibiza.  On the other hand, her report on leadership failures has disappeared without trace.

Sue Gray

Partygate
Chilled – Sue Gray

FACT: Johnson needs the Russian war to deflect attention from Brexit carnage, now that he has cancelled COVID, his leadership, gas, oil, petrol and food prices, national insurance, NHS backlogs, COVID … the list goes on.

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FACT: Johnson’s leadership is disliked by 72% of the population with the most frequent word mentioned about him being LIAR.

Liar in Chief
Liar in Chief

FACT: Let’s play the party game of ‘closets and skeletons’ whilst the drinking continue into the night:

Rishi Sunak defended Mrs S of her absolute right to legally pay as little tax as possible to the country that supplies her with the house she lives in.  She was part owner of Lava Mayfair Club Ltd[3] (a private membership gym), which collapsed last year, owing almost £44 million to creditors, including £374,000 to HMRC.

Another of Mrs S’s ventures, education firm ‘Mrs Wordsmith[4]‘, went into administration last year owing £16.3 million … after receiving a £1.3 million loan from the Government’s Future Fund.

Digme Fitness, of which Mrs Rishi owns, received up to £635,000 of furlough money before it closed its eight studios in London and Oxford still owing HMRC £415,000.  In case of doubt, 635 is more than 415. 

So, Sunak introduces the furlough scheme … and the woman he’s sleeping with benefits by up to £635,000.

Sunak oversees the UK rules regarding non-Dom status[5] … and the woman he’s sleeping with benefits by over £20 million.

Sunak is supposed to be in charge of ensuring that the UK maximises its tax take…yet the woman he’s sleeping with has overseen companies going bust owing £789,000 to HMRC.

Sunak says his wife’s tax affairs are none of our business!  Never mind, let’s party like it’s 1999!

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Sue Gray

Partygate
Let’s party like it’s 1999

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Brexit 

Partygate
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[1] Kent Messenger www.kentlive.news/news/kent-news/operation-brock-kent-residents-slam-6938937

[2] BBC Have I Got News For You on EU TUBE www.youtube.com/c/PeterCook1001

[3] Mrs Sunak www.easterneye.biz/two-businesses-in-which-sunaks-wife-had-shares-gone-bust-in-pandemic/

[4] FT Jim Pickard 11 April 2022

[5] Non-Dom: A good deal for Mrs S www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-61027058