Sunny UPLANDS

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EXTRACT from the book Private Eyelines. I’ve noticed that everything is UP in the post-Brexit sunny uplands world. What could have possibly caused this?

Costs of children’s shoes are UP by 20% shortly. Jacob Rees-Mogg promised that shoe prices would plummet after Brexit. Oh dear, Jake was wrong.

Inflation in UK is UP at over 6%. This is exceptional.

Gas prices are UP by 54% In France they are UP by 4% France levied a windfall tax on energy companies using their own sovereign powers. In Brexit Britain our Brexit freedoms seem to have prevented this. How strange?

Hunger is UP.

Food bank usage in Britain is UP, but food bank donations are DOWN.

COVID cases are UP. This is preventing the NHS from treating people with other serious conditions.

DEATHS will be UP but Boris Johnson says that COVID is DOWN. Of course, he is WRONG.

Russian influence is UP.

Sunak’s tax dodging is UP. His holidays in California are UP. More sunny uplands.

Channel 4 is UP for sale.

National debt is UP.

Petrol prices are UP.

Homelessness is UP.

Delivery times are UP.

Troubles in Northern Ireland are UP.

Fines for breaking lockdown are UP.

Postage fees are UP.

Bullshit from the Go Home Office about the Ukrainian refugee settlement scheme is UP.

Queues on the M20 / M2 in Kent are UP. P&O Ferries are only in part to blame. Since we have no resilience in our port systems after Brexit, only a small knock is needed to bring the system to a standstill.

The Brexit IT system is UP the cack. This does not help, but the underlying cause of delays in Kent is Brexit and not the IT system per se. if we did not have Brexit we would not have the crappy IT system and we would not have gridlock in Kent.

Urination is Kent is up as drivers have no place to go (freedom of movement and urination).

National Insurance is UP.

Sea levels are UP.

Hospital parking fees are UP.

Looting is UP.

Tory ethics are DOWN.

Labour is UP.

Tax is UP.

The game is UP.

With thanks to all at Re-Boot Britain for this list. The sunny uplands can only increase. This list is an extract from Private Eyelines.