Rishi Sunak’s plans to stop the boats are illegal, immoral, indecent and impractical. Sunak recently lied about the reductions of migrants coming to Britain in 2023. He presumably feels he has to do that in order to pray at the altar of Brexit for his right wing factions in the Tory / UKIP / Brexit party and especially the voices of Suella Braverman, Kemi Badenoch, Nigel Farage, Richard Tice, Lee Anderson, Steve Baker, Esther McVey, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Priti Patel et al., who have poisoned the Tory party with 1930 Nazi Germany styled strategies of racism and xenophobia.
Sleepwalking into fascism
This film contains challenging images about Brexit Britain’s slide into a fascist state. We make no apology about this. Art and satire must reflect reality. The professional images in this video are by James Rowland, with the ‘garage / steampunk’ style graphics made by me on PowerPoint. How many more must die before decency is restored to our politics?
The 1950’s Sci Fi film ‘Village of the Damned’ provided a form of sad inspiration for this piece, in so far as the idea that the Tory party now sees itself as a master race who must survive at all costs. History repeats itself too often if we let it …. don’t.
Yesterday, James Cleverly lied through his teeth about immigration numbers. In June 2023 Sunak promised to abolish the backlog. Yesterday Cleverly said that there was a ‘process’ for clearing the backlog, and some new language was introduced i.e. ‘legacy claims’. Basically he was talking bollocks. Nigel Farage then complained that the review had found more than 50 000 asylum seekers were legally entitled to be here. Clearly this is the system working rather than Farage’s pound shop fascist view of things. Cleverly ‘forgot’ to mention that the Home Office had ‘lost’ 17 000 asylum seekers from the system. Careless you might say? Additionally, he forgot to mention that 100 000 asylum seekers have joined the queue in the interim. All in all, a total pack of lies. Here is a good analysis of Cleverly’s lying. Check Georgina’s Channel 4 fact check article in full.
Click the excerpt to read the whole report from Channel 4.
Some selected tweets amplify the BS of James “Shithole” Cleverly.
Despite what James Cleverly said this morning, the government has *not* cleared the legacy asylum backlog.
Channel 4 News, "The asylum backlog has been rebranded. New cases after June 2022 are now called the flow backlog. Add them and 98,599 claims remain unopened"
From 100 000 to 99 000 – that equals ZERO in Cleverly speak.
We've now got the actual Home Secretary arguing at length with a journalist, in public, about whether he said shit or shit-hole about someone in the House of Commons, so 2024 has started much as you'd expect under this circus of absolute cretins. https://t.co/REzhz9K3UA
Our weekly update from Brexit Balderdash de-Bunker Don Adamson from his Brexit Bunker buried in Barnsley.
This week’s homework:
One: According to urban legend, Prime Ministers have sometimes insisted on honours and awards that can best be described as controversial. The monarch of the day expressed disapproval by being unavoidably detained elsewhere on the day of the investiture, delegating the distasteful task to somebody else. Honours (if that is the right word) do not get much more controversial than those which a supine Richy Scumbag has allowed Johnson to put forward. Would it be appropriate for King Charles to express his disapproval by being unavoidably detained on the day of the investiture and delegating the unpleasant duty to, well, for instance, er … somebody like Prince Andrew?
Two: Cur Grease Bogg has made the following statement about Johnson – ‘in the pantheon of Prime Ministers Johnson ranks with Chatham, Palmerstone and Thatcher and is only outgunned by Walpole because of longevity or Pitt and Churchill because of War ‘… Is this the most absurd statement of a) 2023, or b) the twenty-first century, or c) of all time?
Three: Discuss the following statement: Around 1970 the Daily Express described itself as ‘The Voice of the Silent Majority.’ The trouble with trashy tabloids is that they and their readers are nothing like silent enough.
This week’s quotes:
Eton Mess
Eye wateringly expensive schools are ruining Britain … Eton has become pestilent in British public life … disproportionately powerful, devastatingly so … sycophancy to Johnson and his idle ilk … a working class politician would not get away with it … Johnson and his acolytes … incompetence of Blackadder’s Melchett with the vanity of Lord Flashheart … embody aristocratic privilege … yet abandon old fashioned aristocratic ideals of public service…. Oxford University … justified successive governments stealing from the poorest and giving it to the rich…
… We are in one hell of a mess’ declared Chris Patten … because of Brexit …the great Brexit taboo had been broken … Brexit has dominated discourse for a decade … Commentators wail about it … impractical schemes …. foolish … pretend taboos cover a lot of failing … a return to EU would be popular … better to pretend something is taboo rather than tricky or hated … UK Independence Party may have died but politicians who played up to it, notably Johnson, have been booted out … Tory Peer Baroness Mone and 3 adult children secretly paid £29 from VIP lane PPE contracts…
Russian War is changing France, Germany and Europe
On May 31 Macron declared that EU enlargement ‘should take place as soon as possible’ … the question is not whether to enlarge but how … France sees EU borders extending … Russian territorial revisionism … made enlargement a geopolitical necessity … Russia’s war has taught … France is keener than before to reach out to other countries …
… We have been struggling to find anyone prepared to support Brexit…. interesting question … do Leavers think Brexit is going well or badly … almost all audiences recently have given a total thumbs down …
Support our UK tour – click on the Mini.
Geoffrey Howe’s resignation speech
Just how superior the top flight politicians had then to those we have now…
Lord Rothermere anxious about the problems his own papers are stoking up for Richy Scumbag
… Rothermere concerned his paper’s portrayal of Johnson as a martyr … virtually inviting Johnson to make a comeback … where are we now under Paul Dacre’s stewardship … bullshit.com does not look so smart … increasingly slavish role as PM amanuensis … in pole position to buy Telegraph titles … Rothermere has long craved a batshit crazy broadsheet to go with his equally crazy tabloids…
… Conor Burns used his position to make trouble for a man involved in a business dispute with his father … seemed an unlikely recipient…. Burns reportedly walked in Johnson and his then girlfriend … and found them in an allegedly compromising position…. did this get him on Johnson’s honours list? … Richy Scumbag was too weak and slow to do anything about Johnson’s dirty honours … cemented his place as the most inept British PM … one of the most venal, stupid and strategically disastrous concessions a PM has ever made … Johnson does not offer gratitude when he gets what he wants …
Scumbag has given away the house and got nothing in return … no claim to decency or integrity … list is too long … contains some extremely questionable figures … Tees Valley Mayor embroiled in a major scandal … awarded a peerage … recently named his dog ‘Boris’ … Patel’s record not a triumph …
Priti Braverman – MPs who enjoy killing children. Do you support them?
Scumbag is a man of mixed messages … Scumbag has allowed the elevation of people involved in multiple scandals … Scumbag has lashed himself to the mast of Johnson’s sinking ship … most toxic position possible … Johnson plotting comeback powered more by delusion than reality … huge mistake for Scumbag to give in to outlandish demands … Scumbag faces by-elections and a mutinous party … pitiful attempt … only made him look more weedy … no hope of resetting the narrative between now and the election … chaos and an ungovernable party … horribly inept … no integrity or accountability … Incompetence (and worse) would not be rewarded … Johnson should lose his parliamentary pension not be giving out honours … all 12 knighthoods and dame hoods fall into category of ‘political services’ … mostly for services to defending the indefensible, publicly defending Johnson at his worst … Lord Cruddass bunged the Tories £50,000 after taking ermine …
Johnson lied so effortlessly, so often
… Insatiable need to be the centre of attention, a grotesquely inflated ego, refusal to recognise boundaries, envy, obsession with power … lies, crimes, misdemeanours … shameless, self serving, blame shifting, responsibility evading, rambling … Trump and Johnson far from finished with inflicting harm … cares little about what damage he does … only been motivated by the interests of Boris Johnson … he should not be allowed near the bottom of the political pile, let alone the top … surrounded by sycophantic echo chamber of media and political enablers … lying to them, taking them for fools … resignation honours list … further evidence of Johnson’s unfitness for public office … a once great country reduced to a shameful exhibition of corrupt entitlement … the most dishonourable PM it has ever been the UK’s misfortune to have …
Two cheeks of the same arsehole.
… LIAR, CHEAT, CHARLATAN, NATIONAL EMBARRASSMENT … UNFIT FOR PUBLIC OFFICE … always been a disaster … enablers in Parliament, business, media … did so much to cover up the truth … helped ventilate the lies that gave us Brexit … even Nigel Garbage is saying that Brexit has failed … Johnson is a faux Churchill fantasist … lying … lying … lying … We have not heard the last of Johnson, sadly …
Brexit has failed – click on Nigel’s face to support our UK Tour.
Pip Pip Don Adamson Medway Delta (Retired) Brexorcist and Saboteur First Class
Do you want to save the ‘Bollocks to Brexit’ Mini Cooper from the scrap yard? We need funds to take ‘Johnson’ the mini on the road around UK and Europe to remind people that Brexit has failed. The car has generated significant mainstream media publicity for the Rejoin / anti-Brexit cause. Accordingly, now that less than 1/5th of British people think that Brexit was worth it, we plan to take the car on tour to local groups for the purpose of mass Brexorcisms. Our visits can be accompanied by a musical protest and motivational speeches.
3 Dec 2019 – London, UK – Minis in Essex Street, London in a stunt organised and crowdfunded by anti-brexit campaigning group EU Flag Mafia.Arrested by Essex Police.3 Dec 2019 – London, UK – Outside Tate Britain, a stunt organised and crowdfunded by anti-brexit campaigning group EU Flag Mafia.The Stop Brexit Job organised by EU Flag Mafia.
This story went across all mainstream media in UK, Ireland and Europe. It went as far as the New York Times and Australia !! It’s a superior return on your investment.
We have taken the car from Dominic Cummings house to Barnard Castle to check our eyesight. Also to Brussels, and all round Britain. The car, codenamed ‘Johnson’ was stopped by Essex Traffic Policeman PC Smith, in a rage on the M25 motorway. Smith asked us to remove the signage on the car on the hard shoulder of the M25, putting the police officer and the passengers at risk of death. Subsequently, Smith has not been located by Essex Police some three years after we provided his full details to the force … All that is needed is political will to change the ongoing ‘Britastrophe‘.
Read our latest article on Brexit Cabinet Chaos at Bylines Scotland, Cabinet of chaos, crisis and confusion. The brilliant surrealistic image by Dr Patricia Dos Santos Paton, sums up the leadership behind the disaster formerly known as Brexit. It should be exhibited in the Tate Modern. Here is a teaser from the article:
If you were a Martian leadership consultant reading about the politics of the curious island of Brexit Britain, here are just a few of the earthly facts that would come up on your alien console:
We have had thirteen years of Conservative government. Brexit has consumed five Prime Ministers (and counting).
Austerity on steroids swung the Brexit vote by 12%. It would have been 60:40 without Nigel Farage’s weaponisation of austerity.
Brexit has failed to ‘take back control’ of immigration, now running at record levels compared with 2016. Only 9% of people in Britain care about immigration. Suella Braverman has manufactured the matter through demonisation of the small boats issue and use of the mainstream media to install ‘TORID 2023’ – a mind virus that spreads through physical and online contact with the Daily Mail, Express and Sun.
The planned mega funeral pyre of 4000 EU laws is now a smokeless fire pit. The Minister for the 18th Century Jacob Rees-Mogg continues to pretend that Brexit will give us cheaper training shoes if only we would ‘believe more’.
Brexit has contributed to the wages-price spiral with identifiable impacts on food prices and wages in some sectors. 1/3 of food inflation is attributable to Brexit.
The Tories continue to receive funding from Russia to break Britain.
The much vaunted CPTPP trade deal will only contribute 1/50th of that needed just to stand still after Brexit. And that only after 10+ years. CPTPP contribution to GDP + 0.08% in 10 years. Brexit losses worth MINUS 4% GDP. Do the math.
Just under 1/5th of the UK population now support Brexit. But our politicians remain (sic) stuck in a 2016 time warp that says Brexit was the will of the people. It no longer is. Just 12 million from 68 million people voted for Brexit.
Read the full article at Bylines Scotland. If Rishi Sunak wishes to win an election, he would be well advised to move towards the centre of politics, to steal Keir Starmer’s clothes. I fear however that he will be forced to lurch inexorably to the far right by Badenoch, Mordaunt, Farage, Coffey, Tice, Putin, Truss et al. to maintain the appearance of unity. This will be their undoing. Essentially Rishi is ‘Sunakered’, as I stated on LBC with James O’Brien recently.
All by myself – Liz Truss – Click on one of the cabinets to read the article. Image by the artist formerly known as Patricia Dos Santos Paton.
The Truss era … 46 days. Article extract.
Sunakered. Click to view the full article at Bylines Scotland.
Don Adamson reports the news that the papers refuse to print. Don writes from his Brexit bunker in Barnsley.
When a child is born
This week’s homework: Discuss the following statements:
1. Johnson fanzine has announced that Princess Nut Nuts is expecting again. This is (says the Daily Mail) Johnson’s 8th child. There are probably more that we do not know of. Johnson objects to contraception for ecological reasons. He is against single use plastic. Gammons and flagshaggers will tell you that genetics count for more than experience or learning. That being Johnson and his ilk should be forcibly vasectomised.
2. Johnson is the diarrhoea that keeps on giving.
3. Discuss the following statement: ‘Gentlemen in England now abed will hold their manhood cheap and think themselves accursed they were not here.’ Shakespeare reckoned without Johnson, Nigel Garbage and other Brexit war heroes who brag about their superlative gallantry in wars that ended before they were born. Did Shakespeare get it wrong or is it more a case of Johnson, Nigel Garbage and other Brexit war heroes may be a lot of things but they are not gentlemen?
Coincidence or cock up?
Have Patience
This week’s quotes: “Lady Patience Wheatcroft is not in favour with the Tories after shifting from the Tory benches to the cross benches and, while once reliably Conservative, has made her opposition to Brexit clear … after voting for Brexit Bournemouth is in deep remorse, with the Lib Dems establishing themselves as the dominant force on the local council … Dorset Chamber of Commerce complained that Brexit was having ‘serious detrimental impact on exports’… not delivering the positives that were promised … Scotland may yet prove a steep uphill climb for Labour while it continues to be pro Brexit … don’t write off the SNP … Labour’s position on the EU and the Lib Dem’s ambivalence … will be an open door for The SNP at the next election … ‘Voter ID’ did not help the Tories … next they will stipulate that the only valid proof of ID will be a Tory Party membership card … inaugural conference of the Conservative Democratic organisation, convened by those Tories horrified by the sudden leftward lurch into outright Communism that the party has taken under Richy Scumbag (stop laughing) … Jacob Grease Bogg … perhaps still stung by the fact that during his tenure as Secretary of State for Brexit Opportunities he never found any …. started plucking Brexit benefits from his limited imagination … spectacular Bulwarks even by Grease Bogg standards …
Have Patience.
Anger is an energy
Commons Speaker Sir Lindsay Hoyle is incensed … If Lindsay Hoyle is angry with Tories then they really are running out of friends … Johnson leans on rich friends for freebies … on 25 separate occasions since August he has passed through Heathrow airports palatial Windsor Suite. At £1,800 a pop the suite is part of Heathrow’s VIP experience. He has received almost £50,000 in lounge hospitality alone …£250,000: Johnson’s legal fees funded by the taxpayer…. £2.5M advance Johnson received from speaking agency in January …
Surrey Heath council covers Gove’s constituency was won by the Lib Dems … Reigate and Banstead is now the only council in Surrey where Tories have a majority . Right across the stockbroker belt Tory ministers and ex ministers saw control of councils go to the Lib Dems’… another example of this government’s neglect and mismanagement…
Abandon ship
NHS is now so overloaded that delays and human errors are inevitable and increasing … subject to aggressive litigation … as if doctors needed another reason to abandon the NHS … a recent survey by the Medical Protection society of doctors who had been reported to the GMC in the past five years … nearly a third had experienced suicidal thoughts … NHS has always been reliant on overseas trained doctors, even more so now that many UK trained doctors are leaving …
GMC has adopted 23 recommendations to stamp out bias against ethnic minority doctors. A greater problem is that GMC expects impossibly high standards of performance in a crumbling health service with more complaining patients … workload is higher than the service can competently manage … Regime’s ineptitude. Hobbled by Cronyism and graft … economy is creating fewer opportunities … less direct foreign investment … danger of accelerating, perhaps violent, decline …
Nowhere man
We have no clue what Starmer really believes in … will not tell us what our post Brexit relationship with EU should be … Britain’s Public Order Act goes too far … UN High Commissioner for Human Rights said it imposed ‘serious and undue restriction’ … fears of erosion of civil liberties in Britain … Further indication of Home Office authoritarian tendencies …. a law does not need to put people in prison to do damage … further eroding trust in the police following a series of dreadful scandals at the Met … badly written law … hard to justify a move to Britain … Britain’s car industry is another pressure point ….
Under pressure
Steelmaking is also under strain … too many unanswered questions … Brexit upheavals add to uncertainty. … Over 2M British homes suffer from disrepair that pose a risk to public health … costs to NHS estimated at £290M a year …Tories and Britain would like to forget about Thick Lizzie … on tour … to chide the enemies of freedom and stand up to China … given her record it is surprising people listen to her … calls for an ‘economic NATO to stand up to China … (COMMENT: There is one: the EU) … Thick Lizzie may be the least successful PM in British history … emblematic of deeper problems in government … complains about having no control (COMMENT: Surely that is the whole point of Brexit?) …
Extract from Private Eyelines – click to view.
Migration observatory
Braverman complains about 1M immigrants to UK this year without mentioning that she is responsible … Thick Lizzie is a problem for the Tories not because she is the exception but because she is the rule … her ideas live on … Johnson intervenes only if he thinks it will enhance his slim chances of a return to power … loony economic policies … Fox News fired *ucker Carlson … viewership fell from 3M during his final week to 1.5 the following week … biggest beneficiary has been Newsmax, even further right than Fox … viewership rose from 150,000 to nearly 500,000 ..
Praise the Lords
Loss of Carlson’s divisive populism has led 1.15M people to abandon conservative cable news in prime time… Performance in the House of Lords by Lord Johnson of Lainston … caused despair even on Tory benches … decline in car manufacturing is an especially depressing example of Brexit affecting industry … Johnson saw it as an opportunity to take puerile swipes at the EU … disturbing comments by Cur James Dyson (COMMENT: notorious Brexiter) that the government was not on the side of industry …
Lord Fox (Lib Dems) said industry was at a watershed … car manufacturers would simply go to France or Germany … one Tory peer said waves of political appointees have made Tory benches a laughing stock … worst fears for the Lords realised … gift for the abolitionists ….
Gammon corner
All Perspectives is still pumping money into GB News despite £33M losses … takes funds injected by investors to £120M … Who can explain what Labour’s economic policy is? … numbers raising their hands to answer alarmingly low … at Derby …’Is Brexit going well or badly? Result Well 0% Badly 100% … Same in Edinburgh and Glasgow … populists love to inflame their fellow believers with slogans, myths for a past that never was … recent National Conservative conference highlighted the threat of the far right … most mainstream Tories wisely stayed away.
Why Michael Gove chose to appear is baffling (COMMENT: Not baffling to me – Gove is a Murdoch lackey of the worst description) … strange and unsettling London conference … home to an evangelical Christian church … Johnson was hardly more popular than Scumbag…. inward looking, illiberal, censorious conservatism … nostalgia for a rose tinted past … fuelled by anger, pessimism, paranoia and disdain for any who disagree … portray opponents as sinister and evil. Object furiously when the same accusations are levelled at them … demonisation of anybody to the left of them; which is probably 95% of the British population….
Nat-C Party
NATcees assertion of moral superiority … no acknowledgement that they have won four successive elections and might themselves be responsible for the dire state of the nation … Braverman distanced herself from an immigration which she has been in charge of for 7 months … Johnson was the embodiment of selfish reckless individualism that they now decry … Rees Mogg did admit that requiring ID cards to votes was a failed attempt at gerrymandering … hailed Brexit … none thought fit to mention the calamitous consequences of Brexit … has actually boosted immigration …
Braverman castigated the ‘prognosticators of doom’ who said Brexit would be a catastrophe … Tory Party beginning to fragment into warring factions as it faces an electoral drubbing … an ugly search for scapegoats … sensible Conservatives stayed away …
Don Adamson Pip Pip Medway Delta (Retired) Brexorcist and Saboteur First Class
In this roundup of what could be euphemistically called fun loving criminals, I make some unemotional comparisons of people who should be in jail for crimes against humanity with Rolf Harris. Without excusing Harris for his crimes, it is fair to say that Boris Johnson, Liz Truss, Priti Patel, Kwasi Kwarteng, Suella Braverman, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Nigel Farage, Matt Hancock, Dominic Cummings et al. have done more damage to young people’s lives, through their decisions on Brexit, Brexonomics, immigration and COVID. Why then are they not in prison?
Brexit is a crimescene
The impact of Brexit is already evident across all the STEEPLE factors: Sociological, Technological, Economic, Environmental, Political, Legal and Ethical. See our articles on the impacts at Scottish Bylines and Biz Catalyst 360. The costs of all of these STEEPLE factors are one thing, but if they were to be offset greatly by Brexit benefits which outweigh the costs, then Brexit will have been worth it. However, no Brexit benefits have accrued so far, nor are any on the horizon, apart from some flaky notions of ‘freedom’. See our article on Brexit freedoms for a full list of these so-called freedoms.
Economic, environmental and social damage from Brexit ultimately impact people’s lives and livelihoods. Accordingly, the perpetrators of these crimes must therefore be locked up as a bare minimum. Their crimes are more significant than Harris’ heinous crimes, however hard that might be to hear. And the impacts will become even more pronounced as Brexit reveals its full horrors. Sure, Boris Johnson seems like a loveable rogue, but he is not a fun loving criminal, just a pound shop thief.
Trussonomics
Liz Truss and Kwasi Kwarteng put young people’s hopes of home ownership into the deep freeze with their cocaine fuelled experiment on the nation called ‘Trussonomics‘. In just one weekend, Truss and Kwarteng took £70 BILLION off the UK balance sheet. OK, it’s only money, but such things have significant impacts on lives and livelihoods. I pay my taxes so that our politicians can make careful decisions about macro-economics. I don’t expect them to behave like gamblers in a casino on smack, crackle and pop. Accordingly, Kemi Badenoch, Jacob Rees-Mogg and Penny Morduant are also key players in destroying the value of Britain through their bungled Brexit decisions.
Wreckers of lives and livelihoods
Child killers
Suella Braverman and Priti Patel’s time as Home Secretaries have made Theresa May’s hostile environment look like a trip to a Butlins’ holiday camp. It is not something to be proud of to dream of children being deported to Rwanda. And better alternatives are available. See our two minute answer to immigration below.
Immigration sorted in just two minutes
Immigration has failed over 13 years. Brexit did not deliver
and Rishi Sunackered is simply too weak to sack Braverman, as our micro film in this tweet shows:
— Reboot Britain – Rage Against The Brexit Machine (@BrexitRage) May 24, 2023
Sunakered – Feat James O’Brien
COVID killers
Boris Johnson and Matt Hancock’s decision to put infected COVID patients into care homes had an estimated impact of 30 000 unnecessary deaths. In case you are wondering, this was a political CHOICE and not a necessity. Their decision was based on Dominic Cummings’ obsession with the idea of herd immunity. This again is a crime for which no punishment has been administered to date.
Instead, Matt Hancock got £400 000 on ‘I’m a Celebrity’. Michelle Mone and Dido Harding disappeared with hundreds of thousands of pounds from dodgy PPE contracts. Boris Johnson escaped to go on the conference circuit and Cummings scarpered from the crime scene having driven to Barnard Castle to check his eyesight.
Dying for Boris – find the album at https://academy-of-rock.bandcamp.com/
Partygate is one thing, but 30 000 avoidable deaths another thing altogether. Here’s today’s edition of ‘The Son’ – Populist Political Papers Parodied:
The Son – Click the image to read Private Eyelines on Amazon.
These are not fun loving criminals, they are professional crooks. In the words of Donald Trump:
I have said on numerous occasions that populism will eat itself. And so it comes to pass, as Nigel Farage decides to cannibalise himself by stating that “Brexit has failed” this week. I wrote a song in 2018 that predicted Nigel’s demise at the confessional box of Farage’s fascist funeral. Just like Eleanor Rigby, nobody came. Check our film “We are Donkeys” out on our EU Tube Channel. It’s a dark dystopian piece of ambient jazz. not destined for the pop music charts, but it tells the tale of Nigel’s lonely demise in his bunker:
We are Donkeys.
EU-logy
Nigel was a great opportunist. Having failed to mobilise any meaningful movement around his euroscepticism over 20 years whilst taking a large salary from an employer he hated, he weaponised Tory austerity from 2010-2015. Angry people need something or someone else to blame. Nigel spotted that immigrants were an excellent target for ‘othering’. He set about leveraging the dissent within knuckle dragging racists and people with feeble minds who felt they did not have a voice in David Cameron’s Britain. Borrowing an old Nazi poster from the 1930’s, Nige kept his message simple and clear. “Breaking Point” was a huge success, contributing to a 12% swing in the referendum result which would have otherwise been 60 : 40 in favour of remaining in the European Union. When combined with the vacuous promises of Boris Johnson about “Taking Back Control” and giving £350 million to the NHS EVERY week, it represented a potent cocktail which people drank in straight glasses with a crown on the side. Cameron was caught with his pants down as he also assessed Nigel as an utter tosser. He could not believe it when Nigel use the killing of Jo Cox in the final push towards victory. Now that Nigel is dead, he seeks forgiveness for his sins, along with his wife Ann, who could not even afford a cheese sandwich at his funeral, choosing to appear on GB News instead. Nigel leaves his German children with a blue passport, a Toby jug and a 1970’s alarm clock to remind them of the final destination of Brexit. Nigel is remembered as being quintessentially a pound shop fascist and a piece of Eurotrash, not even worthy of a slot on Antoine de Caunes’ famous expose of all things kitsch, arcane, bizarre and just sad.
Cats look for a cheese sandwich … Click image to support our work.
We’re only making plans for Nigel
Nigel’s admission will have systemic consequences. What does Rishi Sunak now do about his pound shop fascist Suella Braverman? What does Richard Tice do about the Reform party? How will the BBC find guests for Question Time? How will Jacob Rees-Mogg continue to espouse the benefits of Brexit in terms of cheaper training shoes etc.? How will Ann Widdecombe cope? Liz Truss? Penny Mordaunt? Kemi Badenoch? and much more … We finish with the A-side of the Nigel Farage single. “Nigel Farage’s Garage” is a song performed regularly on Downing Street and also in Swindon, The Reading Festival, Glastonbury, Leeds, Manchester, Harrogate, Durham, Barnard Castle, Brighton, Rochester, Deal, Faversham, Sittingbourne and …. Brussels. Please support our continuing work by buying The Brexit Party Album on Bandcamp. It’s the party album to end all tomorrow’s Brexit parties !!
From Dulwich Collage – As Nigel pointed out, he did not even go to the right school.
The Brexit Party Album – download from Bandcamp by clicking on Ann, a Moggy or Nige.
Just a day after Johnson appeared to have made a “Canada style” deal, it turns out that all is not well and the industrial scale lies and gaslighting has started again. Our deal is really a Canada MINUS MINUS Brexit. Here we report the news via the medium of populist press parodies. Today it’s the Daily Maul and The Sun. Including a fact and fiction checker. As always it’s action that counts. Please follow the links at the bottom.
It’s always Fury in the Maul. Check our work in this area by clicking the image.
FACT AND FICTION CHECKER
TRUE : Boris Johnson has thrown students under one of his buses by cancelling the Erasmus scheme. In one of his empty flourishes he says he plans to replace it with our own scheme which he has rather oddly titled The Turing System. FALSE : It does not require students to undergo castration like Turing had to, leading to his suicide.
TRUE : Britain “leads” all of Europe in terms of COVID deaths. We are once again back up at peak deaths per day as we experienced in March 2020. This is because Johnson has prioritised the economy above health throughout this crisis, acting too little and too late and using the science when it was expedient to do so and then ignoring it to silence opposition. As a result, Britain lurches from lockdown to lockdown. The result will be a prolonged crisis rather than a rise to zero. Schemes such as eat out to help out and the use of exceptions mean that everyone loses as the pandemic flatlines at 400 – 700 deaths per day.
FALSE : Police did not threaten to taser lorry drivers to prevent them urinating. However, they used tactics reserved for totalitarian states in their attempts to control people who, through no fault of their own, were trapped at Manston airport and remain so.
TRUE : Plans exist to evacuate the Queen in case of civil unrest over Brexit. This unrest can only come from those who apparently have “won” Brexit, since remainers are largely unable to contemplate acts of civil unrest. beyond eating cucumber sandwiches and sitting down on the grass opposite parliament.
TRUE : These charts are an accurate appraisal of the Canada MINUS MINUS Brexit deal, as compared with our existing arrangements with the EU. It tells a very sorry story. To read the full text of the trade deal go to Brexit Trade Deal.
Rough Trade.
Brexit Fury in “The Sun”. Read Private Eyelines by clicking on the image.
FACT AND FICTION CHECKER
TRUE : Jacob Rees-Mogg did in fact blame UNICEF for feeding children at Christmas. This is beyond shame. FALSE : As far as we know, Mogg has not opened a workhouse in Chew Magna, But one never knows.
Jacob Rees-Mogg says UNICEF should be “ashamed of itself” for providing food for some hungry British children
FALSE : Although “John” has not taken over as home secretary , this regular attendee at 10 Downing St is an advocate of hanging. TRUE : He often turns up drunk at 10:00 o’clock in the morning to sing songs such as Bye Bye EU. In fact this is his only song .
TRUE : Oi band the K**TS managed to get to #5 in the Official Charts this week with their song Boris Johnson is a F*****G C**T. Speaking as a musician, I cannot say this song is particularly well written, but clearly the sentiment has captured the mood of the nation. Ursula Von de Leyen is in fact a gynaecologist, but did not utter the words about Johnson, apart from expressing some hand relief in her dignified speech on Thursday afternoon.
"Thank you for putting up with our adapted child Johnson for all these years. Please show us no mercy when he breaks the deal. We still love EU"
— Peter Cook – Leadership for a Better World (@academyofrock) December 24, 2020
True leadership.
TRUE : The French provided relief to stranded lorry drivers with 10,000 COVID tests. The Germans airlifted supplies in, whilst Sikhs from Gravesend cooked thousands of curries for lorry drivers stuck in Kent through no fault of their own. In contrast, Kent County Council managed to provide a snack bar, whilst Kent Police locked the drivers in at Manston airport and wielded tasers in order to frighten them. Kent County Council’s CEO also was complicit in lying about the numbers of lorry drivers stranded in the County, suggesting that it was in the hundreds rather than thousands.
TRUE : Boris Johnson attempted to cover up the fact that he has given a lot of ground to the EU by refusing to publish the details of the deal. He is calling it a Canada style deal, when in fact it is what I’m calling Canada MINUS MINUS Brexit. Meanwhile today Michael Gove is involved in gaslighting us to talk about a “special relationship” with Europe, in order to stop scrutiny on the deal. Keir Starmer is still undecided as to whether to oppose, abstain or support a Brexit deal. Although it’s a difficult choice, an abstention would be the minimum best course of action given that Boris Johnson will blame Labour if they back the deal. Where are your six tests Keir? And your backbone? John Redwood wishes to write a spoiler clause into the EU trade agreement, saying that we can cancel the agreement at any time without consequence.
This piece of excellent analysis by James Chespy who has read the entire EU Trade Agreement on Boxing Day – a Herculian effort:
The purpose of a Free Trade deal is to remove barriers to trading across frontiers. Having read this EU/UK Trade and Cooperation Agreement I can say with some degree of certainty that this is not a free trade deal it is not even a Canada Style deal which the Prime Minister articulates. The deal is a regressive agreement because imposes barriers to Trading across frontiers. It imposes extra bureaucracy for businesses to adhere to. That means extra costs of doing business and that will mean lost jobs and reduced profits.
When companies are having their profit margins hit by the extra bureaucracy they will take the view that it will be far easier to conduct their business from within the EU than from within the UK.Whilst its welcome that there are no tariffs on exported or imported goods the extra cost imposed on businesses by the extra bureaucracy will make the fact that there are no tariffs rather meaningless.
Continue to operate divide and rule tactics in the Tory party in whatever way you can. Use their own tactics on them and better their strategies rather than copy them.
In this roundup of Jacob’s Crackers, we chart the unprecedenteddevelopments in our Government’s idiotic approach to Brexit, COVID and Trump. I am finding it very difficult to distinguish satire from reality, as Boris Johnson lurches from the COVID car crash to our Britastrophe in waiting …
Ask that Brexit be suspended in the wake of Corona
Thank The Lords
The House of Lords firmly rejected the idea of breaking international law in order to “Get Brexit Done”. Johnson’s response? “Carry On Breaking The Law”. The likely outcome? Britain will be twinned with North Korea as a rogue state. The EU and US will treat Britain accordingly.
Trust is essential for all trade and business – The UK is not trustworthy
Write to members of the House of Lords – Point out that the internal markets bill was NOT a manifesto promise and therefore it is perfectly reasonable for the House of Lords to continue to oppose it.
World Beating COVID deaths
Once again, we lead Europe with COVID deaths, due to our “too little, too late’ approach”. This Twitter thread sums up the problems:
UK : "World beating deaths"
We lead Europe with 50 000 reported #COVID19 deaths
— Peter Cook – Leadership for a Better World (@academyofrock) November 12, 2020
Please Retweet this and related tweets. Tweet your MP with a personal message about #suspendbrexit. Hold their feet to the fire.
Rats deserting the sinking ship
If the COVID deaths were not bad enough, it seems that Downing Street is more concerned with petty power squabbles between Dominic Cummings, his cronies and Boris’ girlfriends. Whitehall is now occupied by a large number of Vote Leave cronies and we await the departure of Dominic Cummings and our idiot negotiator David Frost, following Lee Kane’s departure last night. Watch Channel 4 News last night to find out more:
Since this time cronyism has gone from bad to worse under Johnson. It has continued under Truss and Sunak.
To learn more about cronyism in Whitehall check out My Little Crony by Sophie Hill
Old Durham Town remade in our studio.
IBS – Irritable Brexit Syndrome
If all of the above were not enough to make you think that we have lost control of our senses, swivel eyed loons John Redwood and, not IBS, but IDS (Iain Duncan Smith) have pointed out that Britain is bigger than the US. They have also told Joe Biden had better watch his step if he wants to get a trade deal with Britain. Texas and California are bigger than the US geographically, never mind the economy. The US economy is 20 x larger than the UK economy. For the avoidance of doubt:
Size is important – we are 40 x smaller than the US.
John Redwood “Mine’s bigger than yours” Retweet and share to your MP
Smith took time out from snacking on his bogies to have a go at Joe Biden, presumably because he’s a decent man. Smith can’t even qualify as a man, a monstrous freeloader and charlatan who relished his persecution of the vulnerable. https://t.co/cuGUjD4uQy
Boris Johnson and Priti Patel scraped the bottom of the barrel by claiming that ending our freedom of movement was somehow a great triumph, whilst trying to pretend that the matter does not apply to British people. Johnson seems to have forgotten that he said exactly the opposite when he was seeking people’s votes for Brexit. In the words of Johnny Rotten:
Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?
We are all Citizens of Nowhere. Download In Limbo from our Bandcamp site.
If Jacob’s crackers, all the while, Johnson continues to self isolate from the truth about COVID and Brexit, Trump is also bunkering down, whilst he makes a new series of “Borat” with Rudy Giuliani. Sadly his tweet was deleted …
In case you are unaware occasionally we parody the immense stupidity and lies from populist newspapers. Here is today’s edition as we get ready for the Brexit wars. This includes some fact checking below, just in case you are unable to separate Brexit fact from fiction.
Click on the Maul to read our political satire Private Eyelines.
Boris Johnson has suggested that Parliament will not have time to approve a Brexit deal. So, when he said “Take Back Control”, he meant for himself rather than Parliament or the People. In the words of Johnny Rotten:
Ever got the feeling you’ve been cheated?
Farmers fear that the turkeys they are rearing will be too big for Christmas. Some (turkeys, not farmers) have in fact been put on diets.
Johnson has summoned up more jingoistic rhetoric about war with his announcement of more money for our military. This amounts to more distraction from COVID and Brexit. And like most of Johnson’s announcements, it’s not quite what it seems …
Common sense reflection.
Minister for the 18th Century, Jacob Rees-Mogg did quote Caractacus on Parliament the other day, but did not make an explicit connection between Rolf Harris and his song The Court of King Caractacus. Unfortunately many other people did. Jake deleted his tweet so you cannot reply to him.
In the ultimate irony, it seems that “forins” will be manning the border posts if Brexit proceeds. They very thing that Brexiteers wanted will not come to pass and they will have their blue passports inspected by Romanians and Indians. Oh, the joy on their faces!
A book on Brexit has been released. Entitled “The Benefits of Brexit“. The book contains 234 BLANK pages. Some Brexiteers are outraged, having bought the book to find it devoid of inspiration. Here’s my review:
Click image to read our books on Brexit. They have words and pictures.
If you want a good book on how to have difficult conversations about Brexit around the Slimfast Christmas Turkey, please find our books on Brexorcism on Amazon.
