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Category: Cummings

Daily Maul

Honey, I shredded the evidence

In this edition of the Daily Maul we look at how the populist media keep us focused on dead cats rather than the things that affect our futures … To read more of these please check out Private Eyelines. The book makes an excellent gift for Brexiteers in regret. Private Eyelines provides a sense of uplift for people who are sick to death of fascist Nat-C Brexit Britain. Here’s some hard facts and fiction busters to help you navigate today’s papers.

Cash ‘n’ Carrie

FACT : Carrie Johnson is NOT delivering the 3rd Johnson baby on Thursday at 4pm as far as we know. However, a public inquiry about Johnson’s conduct is in progress. Baroness Hallett has called for Johnson’s WhatsApp messages to help with that inquiry. It therefore seems terribly convenient that Carrie is up the duff. Swivel headed Tory loon Andrea Jenkyns said that we must leave Johnson alone, as Carrie is having a baby. Johnson literally did leave Carrie alone, by jetting off to the US to earn millions on the conference circuit, instead of spending time in his Uxbridge constituency and supporting his wife.

By giving Johnson more time to produce the evidence, it gives Johnson more time to delete messages that would incriminate him. In case you think that this witch hunt is bad form, never forget that Johnson’s decisions caused 30 000 unnecessary deaths. These were political CHOICES and not necessities. Ethics matter if you are leading the country through a pandemic. People misunderstand the difference between leadership and comedy.

FICTION : As far as we know Johnson has NOT shagged Andrea Jenkyns. His diary is full. Doubtless Nadine will be trying to access Johnson’s binbag.

To distract us, this is what the papers actually say today. Who gives a flying fuck what Holly Willoughby is doing?

You are being taken for fools.

Whats Appened?

FACT : Rishi Sunak has said that he does not think it would be helpful for the COVID inquiry to see his WhatsApp messages, claiming that they would be irrelevant. In the words of the Police “if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear sir”. What might Rishi be wishing to hide? FICTION : as far as we know, Rishi Sunak has not ordered more shredders for The Cabinet Office. It already has plenty from the Johnson era.

Cats Against Brexit Mayhem

FICTION : Larry the cat has NOT been arrested, nor beaten up by the Met Police. FACT : We don’t know if Matt Hancock has deleted WhatsApp. We do know that he gave out COVID PPE contracts to people with no experience of making medical devices. He also gave special access to Tory donors, irrespective of whether they were experienced PPE manufacturers. We know that much of the PPE did not work. We know that this cost the earth when a more responsible approach was needed in a crisis. We also know that reputable manufacturers were ignored in favour of pub landlords and personal friends. Michelle Mone and Dido Harding are still at large.

Join us at Cats Against Brexit Mayhem

WHATS APPENED? Read more by clicking the image.
The real Daily Mail today – Leading through FURY, shock horror and plain lies.

The Daily Mail, Express, Sun et al systematically delete and downgrade inconvenient truths whilst distracting us with trivia and hyperbolic headlines. Many people almost literally eat their lies for breakfast. It works because many people would either prefer oblivion or entertainment to the awful truths about Brexit, the cost of living, global collaboration, wars and so on. Despite what many would say, these big issues DO affect our daily lives. One of the things the populist media wish to distract us from today is the simply appalling CPTPP trade deal that we did not vote for. Nor does it make up for the losses from Brexit in any way shape or form. The CPTPP deal will only contribute 1/50th of that needed just to stand still after Brexit. And that only after 10+ years. CPTPP contribution to GDP is + 0.08% over 10 years. Brexit losses worth MINUS 4% GDP. Do the math. Simply stated:

CPTPP gains + 0.08% Brexit losses – 4% GDP

Cold Chain Shane misrepresenting CPTPP on BBC Radio 4.

This film we made about Boris Johnson’s burned Brexit deal way back is now coming home to roost. All the Brexit carnage was baked in by Johnson and now we are in ‘Brexit fire sale mode’, willing to make deals at ANY cost.

Reject the lies. Reject the Maul, Excess, Son, Telegravda. Reject Brexit

Join us to end Brexit Chaos : Wed 7 June 8pm UK time on ZOOM

Read more : The stench of corruption

Read more : Books to change minds on Brexit

Brexit Chaos

Brexit Cabinet Chaos

Read our latest article on Brexit Cabinet Chaos at Bylines Scotland, Cabinet of chaos, crisis and confusion. The brilliant surrealistic image by Dr Patricia Dos Santos Paton, sums up the leadership behind the disaster formerly known as Brexit. It should be exhibited in the Tate Modern. Here is a teaser from the article:

If you were a Martian leadership consultant reading about the politics of the curious island of Brexit Britain, here are just a few of the earthly facts that would come up on your alien console:

  1. We have had thirteen years of Conservative government.  Brexit has consumed five Prime Ministers (and counting). 
  2. Austerity on steroids swung the Brexit vote by 12%. It would have been 60:40 without Nigel Farage’s weaponisation of austerity.
  3. Brexit has failed to ‘take back control’ of immigration, now running at record levels compared with 2016. Only 9% of people in Britain care about immigration. Suella Braverman has manufactured the matter through demonisation of the small boats issue and use of the mainstream media to install ‘TORID 2023’ – a mind virus that spreads through physical and online contact with the Daily Mail, Express and Sun.
  4. The planned mega funeral pyre of 4000 EU laws is now a smokeless fire pit.  The Minister for the 18th Century Jacob Rees-Mogg continues to pretend that Brexit will give us cheaper training shoes if only we would ‘believe more’.
  5. Brexit has contributed to the wages-price spiral with identifiable impacts on food prices and wages in some sectors. 1/3 of food inflation is attributable to Brexit.
  6. The Tories continue to receive funding from Russia to break Britain.
  7. Brexit continues our love affair with killing planet earth.
  8. Our law makers keep breaking the laws that they make.
  9. The much vaunted CPTPP trade deal will only contribute 1/50th of that needed just to stand still after Brexit. And that only after 10+ years. CPTPP contribution to GDP + 0.08% in 10 years. Brexit losses worth MINUS 4% GDP. Do the math.
  10. Just under 1/5th of the UK population now support Brexit. But our politicians remain (sic) stuck in a 2016 time warp that says Brexit was the will of the people. It no longer is. Just 12 million from 68 million people voted for Brexit.

Read the full article at Bylines Scotland. If Rishi Sunak wishes to win an election, he would be well advised to move towards the centre of politics, to steal Keir Starmer’s clothes. I fear however that he will be forced to lurch inexorably to the far right by Badenoch, Mordaunt, Farage, Coffey, Tice, Putin, Truss et al. to maintain the appearance of unity. This will be their undoing. Essentially Rishi is ‘Sunakered’, as I stated on LBC with James O’Brien recently.

Bylines Scotland
All by myself – Liz Truss – Click on one of the cabinets to read the article. Image by the artist formerly known as Patricia Dos Santos Paton.
Bylines Scotland
The Truss era … 46 days. Article extract.
Bylines Scotland
Sunakered. Click to view the full article at Bylines Scotland.

Join us to end Brexit Cabinet Chaos : Wed 7 June 8pm UK time on ZOOM

Read more : Books to change minds on Brexit

Read more : Plus ca change – Liars in chief

Read more : Car Crash

Musings of a former Conservative Councillor

Many years ago, the Conservative grandee Lord Hailsham observed that, constitutionally, Britain is an “elective dictatorship”. Boris Johnson’s regime is demonstrating the truth of his warning, particularly when power falls into the wrong hands.  Dominic Cummings, until recently Johnson’s over-powerful senior adviser and the driving force behind his policies, was autocratic by nature. Cummings treated MPs, including Johnson’s Brexiteer supporters, with contempt. During his period in power, he created a centralised and unaccountable  power base at the heart of Government with key functions such as appointments, vetting and control of data in his own hands. Parliament was increasingly sidelined. The hallmark of  the regime became the advancement, employment and enrichment of persons noted only for their loyalty to himself and the Brexit cause, with no consideration given to their merit, experience, suitability or capability to carry out their duties. A stench of corruption and cronyism began to emanate from No 10. 

Conservatives have a long track record in crime.

Johnson’s regime is also unconservative. Conservatives instinctively want to conserve, as the name implies, but his is an administration of destroyers.  Cummings was never a member of the Conservative party and his appointees in No 10 reject traditional Tory respect for continuity and compromise, in favour of creative destruction. Their current targets are the BBC, the impartial civil service, and the judiciary. Our planning system and, indeed, our whole structure of local government are due to follow. Under Cummings, the Conservative tradition of managerial capability and economic credibility has been discarded, as demonstrated, inter alia, by the extraordinary failure to report  and then trace the contacts of almost 16,000 COVID-19 cases, a major blunder to which the Government reacted with barely a shrug.  Cummings’ departure opens the door to a new start where realism replaces dogma, honesty and transparency replaces lies, corruption and cronyism, and where respect for our institutions and constitutional conventions and, in particular, the rule of law is restored. 

What must be done?

  1. Radical U-turns by the Conservative party are required to expunge Cummings’ legacy.  The largest and most immediate is the withdrawal of  the Internal Market Bill and, in particular, the removal of the clauses which break international law and curtail Parliament’s powers. 
  2. There should be no further talk of lowering our food and environmental standards at the behest of the United States, nor of downgrading worker protection. 
  3. The Culture Secretary’s plan to abolish the BBC and replace it with American-style radio and TV must be shelved.
  4. Hancock’s questionable appointment of an old university girlfriend to a post in his department should be this administration’s last vestige of cronyism.
  5. The Cabinet Office’s involvement in hospital and medical procurement should be terminated and all further government contracts undergo transparent and competitive tendering processes as the law requires.
  6. There should be a general review of appointments made under the Cummings regime in No 10 and the public service, with a view to removing those who are patently unsuitable or incompetent. The Prime Minister would do well to carry out the same exercise amongst his second and third-rate ministers once Brexit is over and blind obedience to that objective can cease to be the sole qualification for advancement.
  7. This should be accompanied by an end to lying and xenophobic propaganda, if Conservatives still wish to regain any trace of being a one-nation party.

Only if a programme of this nature is followed can we hope to regain a Government worthy of respect, both at home and abroad. Its present state was well summed up in the words of a Tory former cabinet minister: “ This is a bad English nationalist government with no idea of where it’s going.” Unless Johnson shows himself capable of changing this judgement in the near future, it is in the interests of his party as well as of his country that he be replaced as soon as possible.

The writer resigned from the Conservative party in protest against its SE branch’s policy to force Remain members to vote for extreme Brexiteers in the choice of candidates for the 2014 European elections.

Brexit Wars

BREXIT WARS

It seems that we have reached the stage of the Brexit Wars. We knew it would come. This is the first time that a country has declared war on itself and Britain leads the world in this area. Here is our latest Daily Maul page on Brexit Wars, with a fact and fiction checker below, just in case you cannot tell the difference.

Click image to read our Brexit satire book on Amazon.

In case of doubt …

FICTION : Cod have not learned to speak, although they speak more sense than Boris Johnson when he says that The Royal Navy is to be converted to the Royal Fish Fingering Fleet in readiness for the Brexit Wars. I prepared a new advert for The Royal Navy to help them recruit First Fish Officers.

Brexit Wars
Cod Wars.

FACT : Scotch Egg sales have risen on an unprecedented basis.

FACT : Boris Johnson and David Frost did look like a sack of potatoes when they attended the dinner with Ursula Von der Leyen and Michel Barnier, who looked stylish. Even cats were dismayed at the contrast.

New Look for Johnson
The slobs formerly known as Frost and Johnson out vogued by some cats and some dignified leaders.

FACT : The Brexit Microwave deal has not been delivered. This was an election promise. For an explantion of how we got here in five minutes see “Brexit in five minutes”:

Talking Heads – Steve Peer interviews Peter Cook.

FICTION : Priti Patel is NOT re-enacting the Irish Potato Famine in practice. However, she is in principle by threatening trade wars.

FACT : Kent County Council is not ready for Brexit. Kent is set to become the Toilet of England. See our appearance on “Have I Got News For You”:

Watch Have I Got News For EU.

FACT : Matt Hancock stood alone in cabinet, asking for the COVID vaccine to be prioritised. Perhaps we should thank him for standing up to idiots and Dominic Cummings. We are not sure he actually cried as it seemed to be interspersed with laughter. The search for onions continues.

Tears of a clown.

FACT : No deal Brexit and a Brexit deal are virtually indistinguishable from a practical viewpoint. Brexit can be stopped or suspended if political will changes. See our interviews with MEPs.

Sajjad Karim, Conservative.
Molly Scott-Cato, Green.
Julie Ward, Labour.

Write to opposition MPs. Ask them to oppose all forms of Brexit. Silence is assent.

Brexit Wars. What are they good for? Absolutely nothing.

Huh !!
Cod in Bitter Sauce – Image Cold War Steve.
Looking after No 1

Looking after No 1

As Christmas comes, it is traditional to think of others rather than Looking after No 1. Selfishness or Looking after No 1 gave us Brexit. So, it warms my heart to discover that Dominic Cummings has taken a £45 000 pay rise. I imagine that this is a bonus for Dom’s “leadership” in breaking lockdown rules, by driving 500 miles to take an eyesight test. This, while Boris Johnson asks public sector workers to take a pay freeze. Yes, Dom deserves is £45 000 and the nurses, doctors, carers, council workers et al deserve nothing at all. Looking after No 1 really works.

Our remake of Durham Town. Poignant.

It’s even more gratifying to learn that Jacob Rees-Mogg, Minister for the 18th Century, has condemned UNICEF’s attempt look after others, after they tried to help the world’s most vulnerable children. I understand that Mr Mogg intends to start workhouses for these children rather than rely on handouts from damned charities.

Jacob is a disgrace.

Herd Immunity

As the COVID R rate for Britain rises to 1.1-1.2, it is heartwarming to learn that the virus does not visit Private schools. Eton College is closed but state schools remain open. I confidently predict that we are headed for another national lockdown to mask problems from “Getting Brexit Done”. Johnson may lack competence in many things but he is brilliant at Looking after No 1. Locking us down after Christmas and using the law to enforce the measures will ensure that people are unable or unwilling to protest or riot against Brexit.

Already, we have 20 mile queues in Kent on the roads. We are also told that the lorry parks promised by Kent County Council will not be ready for months, due to “unplanned rain”.

Operation Pisspot.
Have I Got News For You features “Operation Pisspot”.

Devaluation of the truth

We have also been let inside the not so secret recipes of the Conservative Party recently. Wellingborough Conservative Party advise that sometimes it’s better to lie quickly rather than tell the truth slowly. Does that accord with you to get on in life as part of Looking after No 1?

Is self interest our default position?

Can we not do better than this?

Keir Starmer must oppose Brexit.

Where is the opposition?

Keir Starmer appears to be following the lead of The Midwife of Brexit aka Jeremy Corbyn, by appearing to back a deal. There is no good Brexit deal and the will of the people has changed dramatically. At what point will he and Labour oppose the greatest disaster to face our children? When it’s too late?

Some other bugger’s fault

Looking after No 1 demands that everything is always someone else’s fault. As expected, Johnson continues to blame the European Union for Brexit. I mean, it’s obvious:

  • The Conservatives set the Brexit vote up to heal a problem of cohesion within their own party.
  • The plan failed. Brexit has consumed three Prime Ministers so far.
  • The concept of No Deal was invented a year after the vote was taken. It was never mentioned at the time of the referendum.
  • Various aspects of Brexit have been deemed illegal. These are clearly the fault of judges, doomsayers and snowflakes

All of the above is clearly the fault of The European Union and not the Conservative Party and those who were taken in my the lies. How could anyone think it was Britain that voted for Brexit?

The Blame Game
The Blame Game.

Brexit Means Brexit (still)

Everywhere I work, people are puzzled about why we are still pursuing this and I did this explainer video for our American friends the other week:

Season’s Brexit Greetings.

Enjoy spending your sovereignty this Christmas.

Infect a friend.

Looking after No 1 seems to be in vogue at this time. I am sure that karma will eventually kick in on this shower of liars, bullies and cheats. Britain was better than this … remember Live Aid?

Will the British people do the usual thing? To walk on by and ignore our sleepwalk into fascism? To moan about what happened AFTER it happened?

We can do better than this

Come out of the darkness

Into the light

Our requiem for Brexit. Please download the songs on Bandcamp.
SuspEND Brexit

Dither and Delay

On September 22, Boris Johnson was advised to go into lockdown. Six weeks later we are going into lockdown … but not until after we have infected more people via Halloween and Guy On September 22, 2020, Boris Johnson was advised by experts to go into lockdown. Six weeks later we are going into lockdown … but not until after we have infected more people via Halloween and Guy Fawkes night. Since there is a cycle of several weeks between infection and illness, most of the unnecessary deaths from COVID are already ‘baked in’.  Johnson used dither and delay back in February whilst minting 50p Brexit coins, hiding in fridges, avoiding COBRA meetings, bonging Big Ben etc. instead of listening to experts.  This accounted for tens of thousands of unnecessary deaths in care homes.  It is not fair to say that Johnson is doing a good job on COVID.  These are political choices and others were available to him rather than his chosen strategy of herd immunity

Dither and Delay means Deaths

Too little, too late
Too Little, Too Late again.

As a cynic, you might suggest that the only reason Johnson dithered was to ensure that people were too busy / frightened / shocked etc. to notice whether he “Gets Brexit Done”. Cummings promised “Shock and Awe” in autumn and the current wave of fear is exactly their plan. We will have just 11 days, JUST 11 days to “Get Brexit Done” once we lift lockdown. Michael Gove has already admitted that lockdown might be extended past December 02. It is sheer madness and irresponsibility to combine Corona Crisis and Brexit Disaster for a Britastrophe at this point.

Contact “super spreaders” on Social Media (Twitter and Facebook etc) with messages about Suspending Brexit. Use the hashtag #SuspendBrexit. Sample tweet:

Serial Killers.

Here are some super spreaders to consider – make your own list : @campbellclaret @peston @kayburley @afneil @mrjamesob @AndrewMarr9 @bbcnews @itvnews @DavidGauke @theresa_may @Jeremy_Hunt @MichelBarnier @13sarahmurphy @RussInCheshire @AcademyOfRock @guardian @bbclaurak @SirPatStew @EdwardJDavey @Keir_Starmer

This is how The Daily Maul see the need to Suspend Brexit due to dither and delay:

Click on the image to read our Brexit Satire book.

Take action – Click on the links

Write to your MP today and make the case for Suspending Brexit in the wake of Corona 2nd wave, dither and delay and just 11 days till Christmas to Get Brexit Done

Do the same by writing to the media on all sides

Support our “Red Wall” tour of the UK with the Bollocks to Brexit Mini Cooper

Find out why Suspending Brexit is still possible

Find out why Rejoining is a unicorn in the mid-long term

Read more of The Daily Maul, Sun and Excess

Suspend Brexit - end dither and delay
Click image to support our work.
Suspend Brexit - end dither and delay
Suspend Brexit – end dither and delay.
Find Mutant Algorithm at https://academy-of-rock.bandcamp.com/album/britastrophe-2
Changing Minds on Brexit

Changing Minds on Brexit

The aftermath of the Trump election shows us that we still have a long way to go in order to lead with truth, transparency and humility in a troubled world. In the UK, Boris Johnson is copying Trump’s design, by escalating his false promises, blame and lies to nuclear levels. “Operation Moonshot” has just failed to deliver. Christmas is almost certainly cancelled. Johnson continues to blame others for our Government’s continual “Cake and Eat it too” approach to Brexit negotiations. Changing Minds on Brexit on an industrial scale will be required if we are to return towards trust in politics and politicians. In this context I intend to serialise some chapters of my book “Let’s Talk About BREX..it“.

A successful Brexorcism takes skill, patience and time. Here is the preface to the book:

Why I wrote this book

I was in my late 50’s when Brexit began.  I am now over 60 and although Brexit is “in the microwave, gas mark four”, it is still far from done, some would say overdone.  Brexit will probably come undone in the coming year one way or another.  Speaking personally, Brexit will not affect me positively or negatively.  Outside my anti-Brexit life, I am an author, business consultant, speaker and knowledge worker who has always traded on a worldwide basis. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ll be in a shallow grave by the time that any of the supposed Brexit benefits materialise.  Even 18th Century retro-Latin imperialist adventure capitalist Jacob Rees-Mogg said that we will get nothing back from Brexit for 50 years … I’m impatient in the age of Corona … not for myself, but for future generations.

Setting Brexit and Corona aside for a moment, we are merely responsible landlords of planet earth. If we do well in our lives, our aim should be to leave the planet in a better state that when we arrived.  If the nature of our life and work does not allow us to answer that call, we must at least be guided by the principle of “do no harm.”  We owe it to our children, their kids and the planet to do our best and stand up to those who would do harm in pursuit of narrower and more destructive goals.  Brexit is a narrow ambition that would continue England’s love affair with disaster capitalism, lower standards of environmental stewardship and increased carbon footprints from more global trading.  This is all happening at a time when the drive to solve world problems requires greater levels of collaborative leadership and co-dependency.  Complex world problems require joined up thinking instead of splendid isolation and “I’m alright Jack and Jill” behaviours.

This requires us to continue the conversation with leave voters and, of course, Remainers, some of whom now have terminal Brexit apathy.  These difficult conversations are made even more difficult when we currently must conduct them using socially distanced means.  This book equips you with strategies, skills and stories to help you have these difficult conversations.  A mind shift requires skill, patience and time.  Over thousands of hours of fieldwork, it becomes apparent that, sometimes you need several sittings with your chosen subject, client or victim.  The book provides a compendium of support with skill and patience.  It will also help you use your precious time to greater impact.

Grab a copy of Let’s Talk About Brex..it on Amazon – click the review

Human beings have achieved great things for the planet.  Sadly the human condition also includes a few human faults.  Greed, avarice, ego and so on.  We have witnessed it most recently in the fanatical stockpiling of toilet rolls amidst the Corona crisis. It means we think short term, sometimes selfishly and nostalgically. Crucially we don’t always realise that we are in this together with our neighbours and others we share this fragile earth with.  As far as I know, earthworms, hydrangeas and molluscs do not share the faults of the “human race.”  It is perhaps time to stop racing and trying to Trump each other, to consider what we can learn from the rest of the animal and plant kingdom.  After all, we are allegedly more intelligent than snails …  We must learn to be responsible custodians of planet earth.  Brexit threatens to isolate Britain in a world that desperately needs more collaboration and co-operation.  Worse still, Brexit takes Scotland, Northern Ireland and some parts of Wales and England down with it.  To what purpose?  I am still waiting for answers.

You may be asking yourself “Surely it is too late to stop Brexit?  A piece of paper was signed on 31 January 2020 so isn’t it all done now?”  I will work through the arguments as to why Brexit can be stopped later in this book.  However, some Remainers suffer from what psychologists call “Learned Helplessness”?  This is the condition where people believe that there is nothing they can do to alter the course of Brexit or that they should not interfere, due to faux notions of “democracy” or “the will of the people”.  In other words “we can’t do anything” and “we must not do anything”.  My own brother who voted to Remain is part of what the Rt Hon Ken Clarke calls the “indifferent majority” and has quoted “the will of the people”.  In truth he is fearful of the far right and it’s easier to comply rather than resist.  Whilst I completely understand his position and that of others like him, such people are an absolute danger to the resolution of such problems.  I am quite sure that the vast majority of the German people did not think that Mr Hitler would do anything awful in 1938.  Some simply looked away.  Simply stated, silence is assent. 

Taking first the issue of feeling there is nothing that can be done to change things, this is fundamentally untrue.  This book offers a wide palette of things we can do.  At the highest levels of thinking, quite simply, Brexit is a political process and not a legal one. All that is needed at the basic level would be an e-mail to cancel it, followed by a lot of grovelling in private, probably the fall of the prevailing Government or certainly the key players.   Eventually a lengthy public process would be created and some “ceremony” to allow us to rejoin the EU or simply not to leave.  However, this “christening ceremony” would almost certainly be followed by “terms and conditions”, based on the fact that our Brexit belligerence has been largely informed by decades of the UK “having its cake and eat it too” aka getting its own way on things like Shengen, the Euro etc.

On the question of “should we interfere?” this again is a simple matter to debunk. Democracy informed by gross lies on the NHS, immigration etc. targeted Facebook ads, overspending on election campaigns are not the high-water marks of democracy. In any case, some four years on, the demographics of Brexit have altered considerably with approximately 1.5 million leave voters having spun off this mortal coil and 1.7 million young people becoming eligible to vote, creating a significant shift on the “will of the people”.  As I write this update, it rather seems that these demographics are likely to be disproportionately affected by Boris Johnson’s Corona Cull of older voters.  In any case, “Generation Greta”, above all else, understand our connectedness and co-dependency.

The other question that should be troubling you some four years later is the one that asks the Buzzcocks’ Brexit question “What do I get?”.  Perhaps we don’t ask the question in a selfish way, but nonetheless it becomes relevant to ask what benefits are on offer to our fellow citizens if we are to endure some 50 years of pain to get there.  It is a question I’ve asked tirelessly during thousands of hours of street encounters and one I still cannot get any sensible answers on from the common man or woman.  The best I have had in recent times came from the man who wanted to leave the EU so that he could land a 5 lb bass from the Swale in Kent and the other man who was willing to throw all the benefits of EU membership away because he personally thought that garlic was used too much in the local cafes and restaurants.

Changing Minds on Brexit
Click on the image to view the follow up volume on Amazon.

Brexit is, at one level, a gross example of selfishness, greed and avarice by a few disaster capitalists.  These people have successfully persuaded the masses that Brexit will be good for them, although the mounting body of evidence suggests otherwise.  The Dunning Kruger effect and misplaced pride prevent some leave voters from admitting that Brexit will not deliver any of the supposed benefits we were mis-sold so slickly and compellingly.  This plays out daily via snappy catchphrases such as “Take Back Control”, “Brexit Means Brexit”, “Pop Brexit in the microwave”, “Let’s get Brexit done” etc.  Feelings overwhelm facts in the tsunami of data that arrives daily across our TV screens, computers and smartphones.  In the words of XTC “Senses Working Overtime”.

The information age is also in part responsible for the Brexit vote.  Aside from interference in the voting process by Cambridge Analytica and underground targeted Facebook ads, another effect is in play here.  We receive some 34 GB of data daily.  This more than the average person received in their entire life in 1800.  Quite naturally the response to “drowning in data” in some cases is to shut down from information overload altogether.  Nigel Farage understood this well, when he asked the nation to vote with their hearts and not their heads after we were numbed senseless by data.

I originally titled this book “The Brexit Monologues.”  Why a monologue I hear you say?  Surely a conversation is a dialogue?  Well some of the conversations I’ve had with some hardcore leave voters have been monologues.  In other words they simply wish to unload their “story” on me before there is any possibility of a dialogue.  I have had literally thousands of conversations with Brexiteers in cafés, bars and on the street. Listening skills do not usually begin until I have invested sufficient time and energy in understanding their viewpoints, however much I may disagree with them.  It is also essential to establish a platform of expertise and some basic trust if they are to listen to you in preference to their own trusted advisor, whether that is Nigel Farage or the bloke in the pub.  Why exactly should they wish to listen to me anyway?  Many of them simply want to download their concerns, issues and fantasies about Brexit and their feelings of being left behind.  In listening to these people, I have found that these monologues are actually quite revealing.  At the same time, some level of change can occur by simply allowing these people to vent their feelings of rage, disappointment, and regret about their lives.  Occasionally and usually after a degree of patient listening, it is possible to separate their feelings from the causes of these feelings.  In other words to separate their regrets from the fact that the EU is not the root cause of their regrets.  Once we achieve this, we have the possibility for what I term a “Brexorcism”, in other words a shift in their beliefs about the world and about Brexit in particular.

Brexorcism
Click the image to find the book.

Changing Minds on Brexit provides strategies, skills and stories to help you change minds, whilst helping you to look after yourselves in the process.  I use the word Brexorcism not because I’m expecting you to throw holy water at your subjects!  Nor do I expect you to have to deal with people whose heads and viewpoints rotate 360 degrees.  We are generally dealing with quasi-religious beliefs or even identity level change, where Brexit is intimately linked with people’s sense of self, Queen, country and flag.  When we engage with a leave voter, we are sometimes challenging people at the level of who they are or the very why of their being.  This requires skill, time, patience and flexibility on our part. 

The book also helps with healing the divides that Brexit has set up on our DIsUnited Kingdom, whether family, friend or community based.

This book is not just about Brexit ghostbusting.  Where Brexit leads, Trump, Erdogan and others follow.  Just as sure as ladies’ hemlines rise and fall for no particular reason with the whims of fashion every year, populism and the rise of the far right in difficult times are also fashion statements that others follow.  So, you will find this book of immense value if you are trying to fight populism anywhere in the world.  

On New Year’s Day 2017 I coined the catchphrase “Break Brexit Before Brexit Breaks Britain” in the shower.  I note this has been adopted and adapted quite widely.  I recently realised that it needed updating. On New Year’s Day 2019 I came up with a new mantra which remains relevant:

“We seek a Better Britain in a Better Europe for a Better World.”

I coined this phrase on New Year’s Day 2018. It’s still relevant.

We are all in this together and it is about time we woke up to the fact.  We can no longer live in unsplendid isolation in the 4th industrial age.  Yes, we need to reform our politics and the very notions of capitalism if we are to survive.  But turning our backs on problems and opportunities that we face as a global village is not a sensible response.

I hope this gives some clues as to why you might want to read the book … read on …

Take Action

Write to your MP and demand that they oppose the toxic combination of Corona + Brexit

Write to the press with the same ambition

Jacob’s Crackers

In this roundup of Jacob’s Crackers, we chart the unprecedented developments in our Government’s idiotic approach to Brexit, COVID and Trump. I am finding it very difficult to distinguish satire from reality, as Boris Johnson lurches from the COVID car crash to our Britastrophe in waiting …

Write to your MP

Ask that Brexit be suspended in the wake of Corona

Thank The Lords

The House of Lords firmly rejected the idea of breaking international law in order to “Get Brexit Done”. Johnson’s response? “Carry On Breaking The Law”. The likely outcome? Britain will be twinned with North Korea as a rogue state. The EU and US will treat Britain accordingly.

Trust is essential

Jacob's Crackers
Trust is essential for all trade and business – The UK is not trustworthy

Write to members of the House of Lords – Point out that the internal markets bill was NOT a manifesto promise and therefore it is perfectly reasonable for the House of Lords to continue to oppose it.

World Beating COVID deaths

Once again, we lead Europe with COVID deaths, due to our “too little, too late’ approach”. This Twitter thread sums up the problems:

Please Retweet this and related tweets. Tweet your MP with a personal message about #suspendbrexit. Hold their feet to the fire.

Rats deserting the sinking ship

If the COVID deaths were not bad enough, it seems that Downing Street is more concerned with petty power squabbles between Dominic Cummings, his cronies and Boris’ girlfriends. Whitehall is now occupied by a large number of Vote Leave cronies and we await the departure of Dominic Cummings and our idiot negotiator David Frost, following Lee Kane’s departure last night. Watch Channel 4 News last night to find out more:

Since this time cronyism has gone from bad to worse under Johnson. It has continued under Truss and Sunak.

To learn more about cronyism in Whitehall check out My Little Crony by Sophie Hill

Old Durham Town remade in our studio.

IBS – Irritable Brexit Syndrome

If all of the above were not enough to make you think that we have lost control of our senses, swivel eyed loons John Redwood and, not IBS, but IDS (Iain Duncan Smith) have pointed out that Britain is bigger than the US. They have also told Joe Biden had better watch his step if he wants to get a trade deal with Britain. Texas and California are bigger than the US geographically, never mind the economy. The US economy is 20 x larger than the UK economy. For the avoidance of doubt:

Size matters

Jacob's Crackers
Size is important – we are 40 x smaller than the US.
John Redwood “Mine’s bigger than yours” Retweet and share to your MP
Retweet please

Citizens of Nowhere

Boris Johnson and Priti Patel scraped the bottom of the barrel by claiming that ending our freedom of movement was somehow a great triumph, whilst trying to pretend that the matter does not apply to British people. Johnson seems to have forgotten that he said exactly the opposite when he was seeking people’s votes for Brexit. In the words of Johnny Rotten:

Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?

We are all Citizens of Nowhere. Download In Limbo from our Bandcamp site.

Oh Brexit, up yours

In case you had forgotten, there’s a thing called Brexit looming. It turns out that 90% of UK trade is not covered by free trade deals after Brexit. So, when Johnson says Get Ready For Brexit, he means himself.

Oh yes, and the hauliers’ guidebook to handle border confusion has been delayed until after Brexit has happened. Presumably this is to give Dominic Cummings more time to appoint more cronies or indulge in a mud wrestling match with Carrie Symonds. Best get more of those portaloos in Kent, Sussex and Surrey …

Flush Brexit
Flush Brexit.

English exceptionalism continues to dominate our Brexit negotiations, in stark contrast to the EU’s organised and transparent processes to democracy:

An honorable man.

Bunkering down

If Jacob’s crackers, all the while, Johnson continues to self isolate from the truth about COVID and Brexit, Trump is also bunkering down, whilst he makes a new series of “Borat” with Rudy Giuliani. Sadly his tweet was deleted …

Jacob's Crackers
Crushed by Victoriana – Jacob’s crackers.
Paul McCartney meets Jacob at a Queen Concert.

Read our satirical front pages of The Sun, Maul, Excess

TAKE ACTION – SuspEND Brexit

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Subscribe to Reboot Britain – we cannot continue without support
Brexit Self Isolation

Brexit Self-Isolation

In today’s spoof edition of the Sun, it’s hard to tell satire from reality as Johnson retreats from criticism of his handling of Carrie, Cummings, Corona and the ongoing Britastrophe from the toxic cocktail of Brexit + Corona. This Brexit self isolation is not really good enough, especially as it seems he broke lockdown rules to meet one of his MPs.

Brexit Self-Isolation
Nut Nuts – Read all the editions by clicking on “The Sun”

In case you are not sure which is the fake news and which is real, here is a guide:

Belgium did win the football match 2 – Nil. The playing field was level, unlike our approach to Brexit negotiations, where we want want to kick the ball into the goal whilst the other side are off the pitch.

Johnson did meet with an MP last week, breaking lockdown and causing his Brexit Self Isolation. There was no reason why he could not have done this remotely. It seems very convenient, as it means he gets to avoid questions about Cummings going, Christmas, COVID and the tragic state of Brexit negotiations which climax this Friday. Remember a Brexit deal is WORSE than no deal in terms of the long term future for our children. See Brexit Choices.

Carrie Symonds texts Johnson 20 times a day whilst he is trying to run the country. We now have reached the Eva Braun / Linda Mc Cartney / Yoko Ono / Princess Nut Nut moment of English democracy, where the will of the people has been replaced by the whim of the blonde bimbo Boris.

There is no medical virus called Brexitosis. However, it becomes clear that Brexit has now occupied the minds of a few swivel eyed loons in the ERG, whilst the vast majority of the British public are bored rigid by Brexit and want Brexit flushed down the pan.

Nigel Farage has not shit in his own backyard, yet, although Nige has dumped Brexit on the people who voted for him, as a steaming turd.

Johnson did say F..ck Business. This is the new Tory party. Can you really approve of someone who does this?

Mark Francois is still missing in action. What can be wrong? Write to Mark and wish him a speedy recovery.

We do believe that Larry the cat’s box was stolen by Cummings. Sources close to No 10 suggest that Larry was the only “person” who was not taken in by Cummings’ lies. Tweet Larry on the matter:

Take Action

Write to your MP and demand that they oppose the toxic combination of Corona + Brexit

Write to the press with the same ambition

Write to EU leaders and encourage them to hold firm on Brexit negotiations now that Johnson is alone

Join our ABV-20 (Anti-Brexit Virus-20) Super Spreaders group to increase our footprint on social media

Subscribe to Re-Boot Britain
Subscribe to Re-Boot Britain – we cannot continue without support – Click on the image
Alone again naturally – Boris Johnson.
Get Ready for the Brexit Wars

Get Ready for The Brexit Wars

In case you are unaware occasionally we parody the immense stupidity and lies from populist newspapers. Here is today’s edition as we get ready for the Brexit wars. This includes some fact checking below, just in case you are unable to separate Brexit fact from fiction.

Get Ready for The Brexit Wars
Click on the Maul to read our political satire Private Eyelines.

Fact and Fiction Checker

Conservative MP George “Useless” Eustace told farmers to switch from Sheep to Cows in the wake of almost certain bankruptcy in the face of 35% tariffs on Lamb. Useless Eustace also told Danish firm Lurpak to move production of their butter to Britain. Sadly Lurpak pointed out that it would be illegal. In any case, why would they wish to locate themselves in Brexit Britain?

Boris Johnson has suggested that Parliament will not have time to approve a Brexit deal. So, when he said “Take Back Control”, he meant for himself rather than Parliament or the People. In the words of Johnny Rotten:

Ever got the feeling you’ve been cheated?

Farmers fear that the turkeys they are rearing will be too big for Christmas. Some (turkeys, not farmers) have in fact been put on diets.

Johnson has summoned up more jingoistic rhetoric about war with his announcement of more money for our military. This amounts to more distraction from COVID and Brexit. And like most of Johnson’s announcements, it’s not quite what it seems …

Common sense reflection.

Minister for the 18th Century, Jacob Rees-Mogg did quote Caractacus on Parliament the other day, but did not make an explicit connection between Rolf Harris and his song The Court of King Caractacus. Unfortunately many other people did. Jake deleted his tweet so you cannot reply to him.

Meanwhile, it has been reported that 62% of British people now want to stay in the EU. 60% of people feel that the EU has handled the pandemic well.

Please click the image to support our work.

In the ultimate irony, it seems that “forins” will be manning the border posts if Brexit proceeds. They very thing that Brexiteers wanted will not come to pass and they will have their blue passports inspected by Romanians and Indians. Oh, the joy on their faces!

A book on Brexit has been released. Entitled “The Benefits of Brexit“. The book contains 234 BLANK pages. Some Brexiteers are outraged, having bought the book to find it devoid of inspiration. Here’s my review:

Click image to read our books on Brexit. They have words and pictures.

If you want a good book on how to have difficult conversations about Brexit around the Slimfast Christmas Turkey, please find our books on Brexorcism on Amazon.

Take action

Write to MPs and the European Union. Ask them to help Suspend Brexit in the wake of Corona.

Read our article on Suspending Brexit and share widely.

Get ready for the Brexit Wars … here’s an echo of what Johnson has created …

Which side are you on?