Latest Tory Party Conference news from “The Telegraph” ….
The Telegraph produces fake news so you don’t have to think …
Our edition is however filled with some basic truths, sexed up for people who refuse to read factual media. Check out the stories for real to check your understanding of what’s really going on and why it matters to you and your family.
If you like what you see here, give us a tip via Paypal or Patreon. This work takes time and skill – please support it.
Medway council made a complete cock up when they commissioned an art installation by Glastonbury artist Cold War Steve, but one which I have enjoyed immensely. It seems that the Tory controlled Council thought that it would be a nice idea to cheer their residents up by commissioning an art installation in Medway Country Park, a place for families to walk and cycle, freed from the troubles of the day. Imagine their surprise when they realised that Cold War Steve does surrealistic and satirical art on Brexit? Within hours complaints started to arrive. I heard that the Councillors then started fighting about “who dunnit”.
I was alerted about the installation by someone last Sunday. On Tuesday I had a “Ron Weasley moment” from Harry Potter, having a sudden and compelling need to go down to the installation. I told my wife and we set off. We almost immediately came upon one of the artworks which had been ripped off the stand and thrown into the River Medway. A crowd had assembled around the stand. I decided to shimmy down the bank, realising that I might find it hard to get back up, went out onto the mud and retrieved “Tim Wetherspoon”. I have dubbed Medway Country Park as “Borassic Park” as a result of Steve’s marvellous work.
I called the Council to retrieve the artwork in case of theft and then called the media. The result was a piece in the Kent Messenger. The comments are hilarious and well worth reading.
An incensed caller to the newsroom said his granddaughter had been left shaken by the image of “a near naked Boris Johnson next to a mass grave”. He said: “What the hell are they playing at having such ‘art’ on display?
I could not resist a little careful augmentation of a couple of the exhibits with some of The EU Flag Mafia’s Britastrophe Stickers whilst I was down there … placing the stickers carefully for pictures and then removing from the artworks.
We have asked Cold War Steve if he would like to work with us on a project at the Gulbenkian Theatre in Canterbury soon. Details to follow.
Read up on why Brexit can be suspended at Suspended Animation. Read up on why Rejoining may be a unicorn in the long term at Fool Britannia. Check out the implications of Brexit for Kent and Medway at Not In My Back Yard.
There is a job going for Director, Brexit opportunities in the Cabinet Office – I was excited by the prospect of finding out what these were after five years of waiting patiently so I have applied. My application is below. I’d urge you to do the same. Here is the specification:
Dear Lord Sir David Frost,
I have been an avid follower of your work ever since The Frost Report and I was excited to see your research post for a Director of the BOU (Brexit Opportunities Unit). You need look no further, as you have found your man. To quote ELO, ‘I’ve been searchin’ for five years on my own account, meticulously comparing what we had in the EU with what we are getting, now that Brexit is out of the oven. I’d like to continue that research in the quest for the economic, social, technological, ethical, environmental and constitutional benefits of Brexit. As far as your job specification goes, I meet and exceed your requirements, in brief:
On the suggestion of Julia Smith, may I ask for these other fringe benefits:
Yours in waiting
Peter
Five years on and Brexit’s still undone. I often get quaint looks when I talk about Brexit in Kent now and some subtle or even less subtle social disapproval. For the record, I’m quite happy to be considered to be “so last year” until I am returned to the soil by my maker, or Brexit is placed in a shallow grave, whichever comes soonest. Brexit is in fact undone now that Johnson has realised he never read the contract. It will never be “done”. I told everyone that we’d be doing Brexit for the next 50 years and it begins to look that way. In five years it becomes apparent that we still don’t know what Brexit means but we are beginning to make some evaluation of what Brexit has brought us.
Β£2.3 Trillion was lost in just one month from the city of London. Just for comparison and scale, that’s 58 years’ worth of our contribution of Β£39 billion to the EU wiped out in just one month. So, we would have to make up our losses due to Brexit until 2079 just from this impact alone. Let that sink in!!
Our Australia trade deal is worth 0.02% of GDP over 15 years. It would take 2000 deals like this to even make up our losses from our arrangements with the EU. At a generous estimate of our rate of deal making, we can expect to make up the losses from Brexit in trade deals by the year 3021. I know that’s bad economics as not all trade deals are worthless and some also take years not months but I think you should get the point.
Β£37 billion has wasted on test and trace. That’s more than what it takes to land a space mission on Mars at a mere Β£22.5 billion. Our contribution to the EU is Β£39 billion per year.
Despite promises made to fishermen on Brexit, the UK fishing industry will have been filleted by the time any new arrangements come into being with Β£1 Million being bled from the fisherman every DAY. Yet, we plan to spend Β£200 million on a Royal Yacht that the Royal family do not want or need. Brexit McBrexitFace will no doubt spend its time trawling international waters trying to net trade deals without catching anything more than scurvy.
Brexit shrank UK services exports by more than Β£110 billion over a four-year period. That’s 3 x our yearly contribution to the EU, much of which we get back.
Farmers have also been sold down the river with the introduction of hormone fed beef and the dumping of poor quality products into UK markets, just so that Liz Truss can claim success.
The building industry is beginning to show cracks with materials shortages and other supply chains being affected.
Food and drink exports from UK have declined by 50% since the beginning of 2021.
The UK has been on a downward slide in terms of our overall credit rating.
Coming soon, having lost EU steel import protections, our steel industry now faces a wave of cheap imports.
Brexit has been all consuming on Civil Service bandwidth and this means that there have been numerous areas of neglect. For example: social care, Grenfell, The Northern Ireland protocol and citizenship issues remain undone with massive consequences for lives and livelihoods. 305 000 people are caught in civil service backlogs for settled status and Johnson says he will not budge on the deadline of June 30th with impact on breaking up families and imprisonment at borders. Big issues in 2016 are still issues in 2021 due to the significant entropy of Brexit on progress across the board of Government.
“You can stay but your kids can’t”.
We are yet to see the whole impact of the end of the grace period at the borders but already all major supermarkets have imposed rationing on tinned tomatoes with food shortages predicted in the coming months and the army on standby.
There have been notable increases in racist attacks, tension between Brexiteers and Remainers and a disunited Kingdom.
And, of course, far from taking back control of Β£350 million per week for the NHS, Dido Harding is on the way to privatising your NHS. Was this on the side of a bus?
We did not need to do Brexit to deal with immigration. Our hostile environment has discouraged Europeans to work here. In particular we have seen a sharp decline in fruit pickers, care workers and other professions. The arguments made by Brexiteers to “grow our own” have not gathered any takers …
The destruction of peace in Northern Ireland has already begun by the reckless abandonment of the Good Friday Agreement. Johnson promised there would be no border down the Irish Sea. He broke that promise, ending 30 years of peace on the island of Ireland. Kate Hoey has been cynically and dangerously stoking the fires of unrest in Northern Ireland, having promoted Brexit.
The destruction of the United Kingdom has begun with Scotland seeking independence, reunification of Ireland and independence movements beginning in Cornwall and the North East. Independence for Scotland and unity for Ireland are of course good things and entirely predictable consequences of Brexit. In extremis, England will be reduced to the People’s Republic of Thurrock by 2040!! Gibraltar has special status as a means of dealing with the fact that the majority of residents work in Spain. In 10-20 years time we can expect Gibraltar to be under Spanish control. The same goes for The Falkland Islands, The Channel Islands and The Isle of Man.
The UK is now a four nation state and a one party state with no effective opposition. It may sound hard to say this but Brexit is as much a product of a passive and fearful opposition than it is the result of a hard core of Brexit ultras and psychopaths.
Britain no longer has a special relationship with the USA as President Biden seeks to re-educate us about the realities of breaking international law. At the same time Biden has forged stronger links with Europe as a natural partner of similar size in terms of trade and other opportunities.
Protest is now being clamped down on, using COVID as an umbrella to hide under. Boris Johnson is to remove the powers of the Electoral Commission after they asked awkward questions about the redecoration of his flat.
Crony contracting continues as The Good Law Project reveals details of companies offered lucrative contracts based on personal networks rather than competence in the chosen industry. If you are to shrug and say “so what” to this, these contracts were for PPE. This means that people will have died unnecessarily because of faulty selection procedures. You may well say that the pandemic demanded a speedy response. Well the speediest response would have been to select companies with the capacity and competence to make the products rather than novices.
My own MP Mr Rehman Chishti is under investigation for having his hand in the till over property development scandals. You can help by reporting him to the bar council.
We have still not found the identity of the Tory rapist. Is this an example for our children to look up to?
It now seems that our children are to sing a Soviet styles song in school to unite the country. I have a better suggestion – see the song below
A collaborative effort to mark five years of Brexit carnage from Greg, Lisa, Patricia, Irina, Andrew, Adrian, Mike, Helga and the good people at Re-Boot Britain. Join us every Monday to Break Brexit Before Brexit Breaks Britain.
Brexit : they think itβs all over. But itβs far from done. As the COVID umbrella lifts, Brexit is beginning to show its ugly heads. And, in the vernacular of Priti Patel, itβs all kickinβ off on Saturday 12th June with the worldwide premiere of Rage Against The Brexit Machineβs new song Aloβ Vera β Footballβs Cominβ βOme Euro Mix.
Saturday marks the start of the Euros and an exclusive live performance of the song at Chesham to celebrate Rejoin EUβs campaign in Chesham and Amersham. As with the Eurovision song contest, it rather seems that Global Britainβs attitude to aid and trade will leave us with βnil pointsβ when it comes to re-booting Britain.Having asked for extra time for the transition period to mask Brexit carnage, Johnson is now losing trillions of pounds on βpenaltiesβ and he no longer knows where the goal is. But has Britain got the legs? Or will it crash out of the Euros, and of being a serious player on the world economic pitch?
Rage Against The Brexit Machine (RATBM) aims for the Premiere League, lining up for a Number One on Friday June 18th. Aloβ Vera latest release in our Pop versus Populism series, a rousing football-inspired pop pathos marching tune. A match for any match, itβs a tale of whatβs finally cominβ βome, and it ainβt Priti Patelβs fruit pickinβ teams, the European Corona care nurses or the easiest deal in history.
βBrexit was a game of two halves … but now the players are off the pitch, we wonder whether we should be supporting another team?β
Peter Cook, Brexorcist in Chief, RATBM.
Aloβ Vera – Football’s Comin’ ‘Ome is the follow up to βThe Brexit Partyβ album” β the party album to end all parties. This includes other Brexit classics, which we will be performing from 11.00 am in Chesham, an unlikely location for a worldwide song release!
β’ A Chas & Dave Cockney Brexit Knees-Up “Bollocks to Brexit”.
β’ The punk-metal-trance-funk grind βNigel Farageβs Garageβ.
β’ The unforgettable Bojo French sex anthem βTake Back Controlβ, a fusion of βJe TβAimeβ and AC/DC.
β’ A poignant dance floor track called βIn Limboβ. An epic project with 20 voices from all over Europe.
β’ An 18th Century Tory Trance Floor Acid House Groove βJacob Rees-Moogβ.
βMusic reaches our heads, hearts and souls in ways that politicians only dream of. The art of protest just found its 21st century voice. Corona Crisis + Brexit Disaster = Britastropheβ.
For an exclusive interview on Rejoining the EU, contact me and we will arrange with the Rejoin party leader / candidate.
