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Rage Against The Brexit Machine

Brexit tinfoil hat

Don Adamson writes from the Barnsley Brexit Bunker.

This week’s homework:

Discuss the following statement. Since 2013 the Tories have ‘outsourced’ army recruitment to Crapita; which is a hopelessly incompetent ‘private enterprise company’ that gets obscenely rich on government contracts by overcharging and underperforming; except in those cases where they overcharge and do not perform at all. Crapita has missed Army recruitment targets every year. We all bad years but ten bad years in a row indicates the kind of corruption and incompetence that Gammons and Flagshaggers wanted when they voted for Brexit. The Tories are so delighted with this sheer, crass, unpardonable uselessness that they have begun to put Crapita in charge of Naval and Air Force recruiting. This is music to the ears of the morons who, after everything that has happened, still think Brexit is a brilliant idea.

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Meanwhile there is a worse example of sheer, crass, unpardonable stupidity in military matters. Wagner Group is a company of mercenaries that recruits by emptying the Russian prisons of brutish thugs of the worst description. Wagner has cut a swath across Africa; looting, raping and killing gratuitously everywhere they go, usually against unarmed villagers. Wagner Group did not do so well against outnumbered but armed Ukrainians. Wagner Group attempted a coup d’état to oust Putain but made a complete fiasco of it. This is exactly the kind of idea that 21st century Tories love: evil, violent thugs who loot and rape but are so incompetent that they cannot even mount a coup d’état against a regime as inept as Putain’s. How long will it take the Tories to abolish the British armed forces and replace it emptying the prisons of evil thugs and rapists? In this way they will have defence services that cannot even mount a coup d’état to oust a hopelessly incompetent political regime. 

This week’s quotes: 

Britain’s inflation and finance 

… 8.7% in May … price of housing in Britain is soaring … only in Britain is inflation worryingly entrenched … Britain’s problem most acute … mortgage rates are surging … excruciating situation… grim … among G7 countries none has higher inflation than Britain … miserable … what has gone so wrong? … EU workers are missing … labour supply is down by 3% … inflation is unusually persistent… £1Trn government debt when Osborne became Chancellor … £1.5Ttn debt when Osborne left office in 2016 … £1.7Trn debt when going into the pandemic thanks to Osborne’s ‘repair’ of the economy … Britain signed a memorandum of understanding with EU on financial services …. Does not restore Britain’s access to the EU … mortgage rates have surged… Jeremy *unt has told banks to pass on higher interest to customers… Since the end of WW1 … Britain was economically crippled … Britain has been in a long and steady decline … endless cycle of boom and bust … promises of a better tomorrow … Brexit put the tin hat on it …

Rejoin 

Ukraine accession to the EU is so important. It creates an incentive for reform and application of law… Do not be so sure our place is lost; some do want us back …  a Eurocrat friend said ‘You forget we want you back … Leavers were fond of referring to … an army of bureaucrats but forget that in that army the British were the Brigade of Guards . Many who work for the EU miss the rigour, clarity and discipline that British Eurocrats brought to the party … politician may want to make a British return look difficult. Many of Europe’s staffers would give us our old concessions back in the blink of an eye if it brought British Eurocrats back to Brussels … I find it hard to imagine that the EU would insist on the most stringent conditions before letting Britain Rejoin. They too have been damaged by Brexit (though nowhere near as badly was us) … Question Beaucaire, France, renamed a road that leaves Rue Robert Schuman (EEC founder) and rejoins it 60m later. What is it now called? Answer: Rue de Brexit … Brexit is a disaster that just keeps on disastering … Clacton Coastal Academy … all but two children said they would vote to Rejoin … the norm in schools is zero … something strange about a political class where the government keeps telling us that Brexit is going well and an opposition that that insists they will make Brexit work when the next generation knows it is not going well and cannot be made to work.. Something has got to give… Rejoin March 23 September is causing consternation on the Labour front bench … Keith Starmer is trying to out-Brexit Richy Scumbag … Starmer wrote pro Brexit piece for the Daily Express … who have not got around to paying Starmer for it … 

Gutter Express 

still unrelentingly positive about booming Brexit Britain … even last week Grease Bogg promised cheaper food thanks to Brexit. He is unlikely to venture into Aldi to check the prices …  biggest house price rise in 14 years … Oh Dear…

Daily Excess
Daily Excess. Click to read the gutterpress pages.

Pandemic 

any hope politicians would put learning lessons ahead of protecting their own repudiations ended when Osborne appeared before the inquiry…. ‘the numbers you refer to are from 2015 to 2020 … I left office in 2015 ’ expect months of high level arse covering … Longest most detailed most expensive enquiry in UK history … why did UK government believe itself to be well prepared when in fact it was woefully unprepared and vulnerable … politicians did not want to commit the money … even though it was number one on the risk register … DHSC knew that the risks were huge … economic outlook was dire … it was more than likely that a moderate pandemic would overrun the system … Jeremy *unt did not attend board meetings … ministers were concerned about *unt’s lack of engagement … no deal Brexit took the focus away from pandemic planning … same lame defence of austerity … we decided to sleepwalk into a £400B disaster … *unt knew the worst case scenario … UK entered the pandemic with its public services depleted, health improvements stalled, health inequalities increased… we did not have resilience in the health service … we were at the bottom of the table in doctors, number of nurses, ITUs, respirators, ventilators … if the next pandemic does not take down the NHS diabetes will … we did not give sufficient thought to a pandemic or any other pathogen …. It is hard to imagine we would do any better in the next pandemic … government has disinvested in infection monitoring services, dismantled key infrastructure … wound down our capacity for drug and vaccine development…. levels of public anger remain high … repeated reminders … Westminster, under the leadership of Johnson, flouted rules … even stupid enough to record photographic and video evidence of gratuitous flouting … Johnson repeated lied… shows how badly things have deteriorated inside the Tory Party …

Brexit Too Little, Too Late
A stitch up in time saves nine.

Fraud 

system for victims to report crimes ‘outsourced’ to the usual suspects … Crapita was hit with a cyber attack … exposed thousands of savers in pension schemes … less than impressive data hygiene … Colchester Council ‘extremely disappointed’ … unsecured Amazon data bucket controlled by Crapita … Crapita is no stranger to financial rip offs … when it comes to general incompetence Crapita is no more reassuring … most notorious is military recruitment … Crapita has missed Army’s annual targets for recruiting new soldiers and officers every year since 2013 … Crapita assisted by PwC … PwC faced a string of large fines for poor auditing … focus of criticism … real problem is not reporting it but the near absence of policing it … less than 1% of reports lead to prosecutions … it will take more than another Crapita deal to address that …  

GB News

GB New boss Angelos Frangopoulos is desperately attempting to reposition his channel away from being a home for right wing cranks and conspiracists …. ‘this is not just Channel Nigel Garbage … glad to be shot of Canadian wacko Mark Steyn … found guilty of breaching Ofcom rules when he approvingly interviewed weirdo writer Naomi Wolf on her view that Covid 19 vaccination is ‘mass murder’ … 

Lockdown 

staff at Mail on Sunday had a leaving party for departing member of staff. Video shows at least 30 people … no social distancing… 

Partygate
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Don Adamson Pip Pip             Medway Delta (Retired)           Brexorcist and Saboteur First Class 

The Brexit Iceberg

Promises, promises

To complement our article Hard Facts about Brexit, this article explores some softer facts about Brexit around Rishi Sunak’s five promises now relabelled five priorities, soon to be called five phantasmagorical illusions.  I’m defining hard facts as things having numerical values such as the recent revelation that only 18% of the British population think that Brexit was a good idea.  Still some cling on to the promise of cheaper training shoes the year by 2066. Soft facts are no less important but they inhabit the less quantifiable world.  Robert McNamara pointed out the value of things we cannot easily measure in his famous statement which came to be known as the McNamara Fallacy:

Click to read more on this.

Immigration can be fixed

Rishi Sunak has amped up the Stop the Boats campaign in order to keep BIR (Brexit Inspired Racism) alive in Britain. Undeterred by a decisive judgement that the Rwanda scheme is immoral, indecent and illegal, Rishi has no place to go other than to waste more of your money taking the decision to a higher court.

Rishi disagrees with the rule of law. Integrity in the dustbin.

Before Rishi’s Stop the Boats campaign, less than 10% of British people cared about immigration. Research from UK in a Changing Europe suggests that Ukraine changed attitudes to migration along with staff shortages due to the exodus of European migrant workers after Brexit. As with many things in public life, perception beats reality. People seem to believe that Brexit solved the problem of migrants, despite there being record numbers of migrants after Brexit.  It’s almost as though Brexit popped a festering boil called migration and now people think we are pimple free. Accordingly, the Tories moved into the tight corner of hardcore racism, by demonising people in boats who are forced to live in hotels by the Government, because the Government refuses to allow them to work. The problem with immigration is three-fold:

1. We have not provided safe routes for asylum seekers.

2. The Home office is hopelessly unable to process those arriving.

3. Our government insists on incarcerating all people seeking asylum in hotels and on boats when the vast majority could become productive members of society who pay taxes. Naturally this antagonises people with feeble minds who don’t understand that this is a deliberate choice by Rishi Sunak.

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God’s waiting room

Even Tory party majorette Laura Kuenssberg questioned the veracity of Rishi Sunak’s claims that NHS waiting lists are falling. Patently they are NOT. It is a dirty LIE. Granted that Sunak said that people waiting two years for treatment are not waiting now. Some of them are dead …

That’s quite a charge ….

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Halving inflation

Sunak may well be able to halve inflation. He needs to do this by early 2024 if there if to be a mini bounce prior to an election. Here is little Rishi’s strategy:

Sunak refuses to negotiate with nurses, doctors, train drivers, public servants yada yada even though public service pay rises do not contribute to inflation. But he manages the perception that he is being tough by doing this.

Little Rishi is instead loading the costs on first time buyers and people with mortgages who may have their houses repossessed. Of course, destitute people don’t contribute much to inflation. Dead people are even better, as they are a net tax input to the treasury.

Food inflation continues but people cannot afford to eat, so that problem is solved.

Fuel inflation is now largely baked into Rishi’s spreadsheet so he may get lucky here. But luck is not a strategy.

That said, inflation control is proving to be stubborn and reaching 5% may well prove impossible unless luck kicks in.

Five promises now five priorities, aka five lies.

Reducing debt

Rishi’s promise aka priority in this area is once again typically vague. When 0.1% came off inflation 10% Rishi claimed a victory. For someone skilled in counting (his own) money. this is a fatal maths error !!! Thanks to Brexit we have record levels of national debt so any decrease would also be hailed as a great success. Truss wiped an uncool £70 000 000 000 off of the value of UK plc thanks to her Kamikaze budget in her experiment in hard Brexit economics. The Tory Fiscal cliff is now unprecedented and the root cause is 13 years of Tory mismanagement and hobby projects such as Brexit which have lowered our resilience to other global effects such as the pandemic and the Russian war on Ukraine.

The Golden Growth Goose

Rishi must, of course, be seen to have a go at growth, per his predecessor Liz Truss.  This is why he recently suggested that Britain would be an area of low or no regulation re AI.  He plans to fight America and Europe in the gold rush for jobs in AI … except that this is the war of the worlds scenario that leads to our extinction. See my articles and book on AI and humanity.

Apart from anything else, Britain does not have a workforce of highly skilled people, with many having left the country due to Brexit.  His desperate attempt to hire gardeners and OAPs to do dentistry is at the root of his problems.

Going for growth is also problematic at an ethical level.  Producing more stuff in a world that needs and wants less stuff is morally bankrupt.  We are seeing an end of days strategy from a weak Prime Minister, devoid of ideas, support and soft power in the world.

Learn the skills of Brexorcism here

Say Bollocks to Brexit

Daily Maul

Honey, I shredded the evidence

In this edition of the Daily Maul we look at how the populist media keep us focused on dead cats rather than the things that affect our futures … To read more of these please check out Private Eyelines. The book makes an excellent gift for Brexiteers in regret. Private Eyelines provides a sense of uplift for people who are sick to death of fascist Nat-C Brexit Britain. Here’s some hard facts and fiction busters to help you navigate today’s papers.

Cash ‘n’ Carrie

FACT : Carrie Johnson is NOT delivering the 3rd Johnson baby on Thursday at 4pm as far as we know. However, a public inquiry about Johnson’s conduct is in progress. Baroness Hallett has called for Johnson’s WhatsApp messages to help with that inquiry. It therefore seems terribly convenient that Carrie is up the duff. Swivel headed Tory loon Andrea Jenkyns said that we must leave Johnson alone, as Carrie is having a baby. Johnson literally did leave Carrie alone, by jetting off to the US to earn millions on the conference circuit, instead of spending time in his Uxbridge constituency and supporting his wife.

By giving Johnson more time to produce the evidence, it gives Johnson more time to delete messages that would incriminate him. In case you think that this witch hunt is bad form, never forget that Johnson’s decisions caused 30 000 unnecessary deaths. These were political CHOICES and not necessities. Ethics matter if you are leading the country through a pandemic. People misunderstand the difference between leadership and comedy.

FICTION : As far as we know Johnson has NOT shagged Andrea Jenkyns. His diary is full. Doubtless Nadine will be trying to access Johnson’s binbag.

To distract us, this is what the papers actually say today. Who gives a flying fuck what Holly Willoughby is doing?

You are being taken for fools.

Whats Appened?

FACT : Rishi Sunak has said that he does not think it would be helpful for the COVID inquiry to see his WhatsApp messages, claiming that they would be irrelevant. In the words of the Police “if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear sir”. What might Rishi be wishing to hide? FICTION : as far as we know, Rishi Sunak has not ordered more shredders for The Cabinet Office. It already has plenty from the Johnson era.

Cats Against Brexit Mayhem

FICTION : Larry the cat has NOT been arrested, nor beaten up by the Met Police. FACT : We don’t know if Matt Hancock has deleted WhatsApp. We do know that he gave out COVID PPE contracts to people with no experience of making medical devices. He also gave special access to Tory donors, irrespective of whether they were experienced PPE manufacturers. We know that much of the PPE did not work. We know that this cost the earth when a more responsible approach was needed in a crisis. We also know that reputable manufacturers were ignored in favour of pub landlords and personal friends. Michelle Mone and Dido Harding are still at large.

Join us at Cats Against Brexit Mayhem

WHATS APPENED? Read more by clicking the image.
The real Daily Mail today – Leading through FURY, shock horror and plain lies.

The Daily Mail, Express, Sun et al systematically delete and downgrade inconvenient truths whilst distracting us with trivia and hyperbolic headlines. Many people almost literally eat their lies for breakfast. It works because many people would either prefer oblivion or entertainment to the awful truths about Brexit, the cost of living, global collaboration, wars and so on. Despite what many would say, these big issues DO affect our daily lives. One of the things the populist media wish to distract us from today is the simply appalling CPTPP trade deal that we did not vote for. Nor does it make up for the losses from Brexit in any way shape or form. The CPTPP deal will only contribute 1/50th of that needed just to stand still after Brexit. And that only after 10+ years. CPTPP contribution to GDP is + 0.08% over 10 years. Brexit losses worth MINUS 4% GDP. Do the math. Simply stated:

CPTPP gains + 0.08% Brexit losses – 4% GDP

Cold Chain Shane misrepresenting CPTPP on BBC Radio 4.

This film we made about Boris Johnson’s burned Brexit deal way back is now coming home to roost. All the Brexit carnage was baked in by Johnson and now we are in ‘Brexit fire sale mode’, willing to make deals at ANY cost.

Reject the lies. Reject the Maul, Excess, Son, Telegravda. Reject Brexit

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Read more : The stench of corruption

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Daily Excess

What the papers say

I’ve briefly restarted our parody newspaper format. In these editions of the Daily Excess and the Daily Maul (Maul credit Aidan Grooville), we cover what the papers say … and what they do not …. To read more of these please check out Private Eyelines. The book makes an excellent gift for Brexiteers in regret and provides a sense of uplift for people who are sick to death of fascist Nat-C Brexit Britain. These days I have to include a fact and fiction decoder as few can tell the difference between fantasy and real life.

Click the dead cat to read Private Eyelines.
Daily Hate Mail
Click the Cruella children’s doll to read Private Eyelines.

FACT and FICTION analysis

FACT : Nigel Farage has declared that Brexit has failed. Yes, Brexit has failed !!! However, of course, it’s not his fault. Evidently, it’s never Nigel’s fault !!

Brexit has failed. Own it Nigel.

FICTION : Liz Truss has not declared war on the Japanese with cheese or in real life.

FACT : However, three years after the Brexit deal, the fiendishly clever Japanese are still copying Cornish Pasties and other British Brexit favourites as this report shows. Liz pretended that Welsh lamb, Whitstable oysters, Thurrock gammon etc. could now be protected names after Brexit, but it turns out she was wrong (again). Also, Liz managed to waste £70 billion on her ‘Brexonomics’ experiment on the nation with her boyfriend Kwasi Kwarteng. Kwasi refuses to apologise for ruining young people’s lives as this interview on Channel 4 News shows.

Not sorry, not sorry


FACT : Boris Johnson has sired another child. The news coincides with the verdict on Johnson’s conduct in office from the select committee this week. Seems convenient. Accordingly, this follows a long list of lies from the Johnson stable. Perhaps you remember when Johnson went into hospital with COVID on Good Friday. Subsequently he was deemed as being at serious risk and needing a ventilator. However, on the third day, he rose, just like Jesus and was deemed to be as fit as a butcher’s dog. Strange. Even stranger, the nurses who cared for him disappeared without trace!

FICTION : Bojo is not making 10 000 doses of his sperm available for a EUgenics experiment on the mass production of Johnson’s. Nadine Dorries is not acting as an incubator for the Johnson seed.

Thanks to David Lawton

Dancing on thin ice


FICTION : The BBC are not changing the formula for Dancing on Ice to include a sewage dance floor as a contribution to environmental stewardship. Nor is the programme to be renamed Dancing on Shite.

FACT : Therese Coffey has claimed that there is less sewage in our rivers although this is clearly untrue. Moreover, Coffey also dodged questions about Suella Braverman’s interference regarding her convictions including having no knowledge of her phone number. Significantly, Rishi Sunackered seemed unable to make any meaningful comment about Suella Braverman when pressed on the matter in Japan.

Sheer lies.

FACT : Suella Braverman and Priti Patel are fighting like cats in a sack over the prize on who is the best fascist after her denouncement of Braverman at the Alt Right Conservative Party Conference last week. This follows our recent revelation that Conservative MP Rehman Chishti also criticised Braveman in order to prop up the Pakistani vote in the local elections. Accordingly, Suella wins our award for fascist of the year, along with Jacob Rees-Mogg:

What the papers say.

Click to read Private Eyelines – Have I got fake Brexit news for EU.

Private Eyelines
Click to read inside on Amazon.

Private Eyelines
Read Private Eyelines on Amazon by clicking the extract.
Private Eyelines
Private Eyelines – Brexit satire – Click to read on.
Chat GPT

How will populism implode?

One of my colleagues challenged me by showing me an answer she got from Chat GPT when she asked the question: How will populism implode? It occurred to me that the answers given adequately described the algorithm of this website and our collected activities at Reboot Britain.

We are the robots.

Taking these in turn: Click on the text to follow the links

Promote alternative narratives

Fact checking and debunking

Engage with grassroots movements

Encourage voter education

Strengthen democratic institutions

Foster economic stability and opportunity

Collaborate with international partners

Engage with marginalised communities – see especially ‘In Limbo

Emphasise accountability and transparency

Foster unity and common purpose

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How will populism implode? Find the ultimate book on imploding populism here – sample the book on Amazon. Populism will eat itself !!

Private Eyelines
Private Eyelines : Click image to read more,
Private Eyelines
Private Eyelines : Click image to read more.

Glen Robinson articulates some points to help us build a movement to get Brexit undone. He too asked Chat GPT the question, getting a slightly different response:

Building and growing a transformational political movement or party requires a strategic approach and a focus on key elements such as vision, organisation, communication, and grassroots mobilisation. While the specific tactics may vary depending on the context and goals of the movement, here are some general steps to consider: 

1. Clarify your vision and values: Clearly define the vision and values that underpin your movement or party. Articulate a compelling and inspiring narrative that resonates with people and offers a distinct alternative to the status quo.

2. Establish a strong organisation: Build a well-structured and efficient organisation to support your movement’s activities. Develop a clear leadership structure, delegate responsibilities, and establish decision-making processes. Ensure that your organisation has the capacity to handle the logistical, legal, and financial aspects of running a political movement.

3. Mobilise grassroots support: Reach out to communities, individuals, and organisations that align with your vision and values. Engage in grassroots organising efforts to build a broad and diverse base of support. Conduct outreach campaigns, host events, and leverage digital platforms to connect with potential supporters and involve them in your movement.

4. Develop strategic alliances: Seek partnerships and collaborations with like-minded individuals, organisations, and existing political entities. Building coalitions and alliances can amplify your impact, broaden your reach, and help create a united front for your transformational goals.

5. Craft a compelling policy platform: Develop a well-researched and comprehensive policy platform that addresses the key issues and challenges you seek to tackle. Ensure that your policies are grounded in evidence, practicality, and the values of your movement. Clearly communicate how your policies will lead to positive change and benefit society as a whole.

6. Engage in effective communication: Develop a strong and consistent messaging strategy to effectively communicate your vision, values, and policies to the public. Utilise various communication channels such as social media, traditional media, public speeches, and community events. Craft messages that resonate with your target audience and emphasise the urgency and relevance of your movement’s objectives.

7. Empower and educate supporters: Provide resources, training, and opportunities for your supporters to actively engage in the political process. Empower them to become advocates, volunteers, and potential candidates. Educate them about the issues, your movement’s policies, and effective strategies for creating change.

8. Mobilise for action: Organise peaceful demonstrations, rallies, and campaigns to draw attention to your cause and increase public awareness. Utilise technology and social media platforms to facilitate coordination, engage supporters, and encourage collective action. Mobilise your base to participate in elections, support sympathetic candidates, or even field your own candidates when appropriate.

9. Adapt and evolve: Remain flexible and responsive to changing circumstances and feedback. Regularly evaluate your strategies and tactics to determine what is working and what needs adjustment. Be open to learning from both successes and failures, and adapt your approach accordingly.

10. Sustain momentum and long-term engagement: Building a transformational political movement is a long-term endeavour. Focus on sustaining momentum and maintaining engagement beyond initial successes. Nurture relationships with supporters, continue organising activities, and foster an inclusive and participatory culture within your movement.

Remember, building a political movement takes time, dedication, and perseverance. It requires consistent effort, effective organisation, and a clear articulation of your vision and values.

The enigma known as Glen Robinson. Click image to find him on Twitter.


Red Tops

Red Tops

In our latest series of Populist Press Parodies from the Red Tops, we tackle the big issues of the day. In case of confusion in our age of disinformation, please find our fact and fantasy checker at the bottom of the page.

Daily Maul
Lunch Box Luxury
Daily Excess
Spanish Lies
"The Sun"
Page 3 remodelled

FACTS v. FANTASIES

FANTASY Jacob Rees-Mogg did not live in fact live on a diet of Cream Crackers. He did however proclaim that British fish were happier now that they have Brexit. It’s just a matter of time before he asks for the restoration of the birch.

FACT Ford has decided to raise the price of a number of models due to increased costs of manufacture due to Brexit.

FACT The Government plan to only give one shot of the COVID vaccine. This would provide 70% protection. There is no evidence to suggest that this will lead to herd immunity. It is also feasible that it would mean that insufficient protection is given, providing the Corona virus with an open doorway to the development of a more virulent strain. We will essentially be the clinical trial for this risky experiment.

Write to your MP on the risks of this strategy

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FACT A large number of Tory MPs joined banned website Parler.

Shame these MP’s on social media. Request a public apology for their sins

FANTASY There are no Brexit Universities.

FACT British people living in Spain were surprised to learn that they could not stay in their second homes indefinitely and that they needed to make a financial contribution to their country of residence. They failed to understand that freedom of movement works both ways under Brexit.

FACT A bag of sovereignty is being auctioned on e-bay. Sadly, no one has thought it to offer any value.

FACT Just days after we signed the Brexit trade deal we are breaking it. In particular we plan to use neonecotonoids on sugar beet. This chemical is toxic to bees. It is estimated that once the bees die, we are not long for the world either.

Sign the petition and write to your MP on this matter

FACT The European Union are offering to help Ireland from their fund post Brexit. In the longer term it is probably that Ireland and Northern Ireland will simply cut England out of the equation through their dealings.

FICTION French model Rachelle Gauchette is not travelling to Scotland or Ireland to boost morale for independence or reunification … yet. Napoleon did not have a Napoleon complex. The offer of a night with Nigel Farage is a dirty lie.

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