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Career opportunities

I stumbled over a job for Medway Council as a Political Assistant to the Conservative Group. The role requires an allegiance to the Tory party but is paid for by taxpayers money. I cannot understand how this can be legal. It’s an outrage. Anyway I made an application. Here are the job basics in blue and my personal statement in purple. What are my chances?

Job Spec

The Conservative Group are looking to recruit a highly motivated individual with exceptional political and communication skills to support its work. You will assist with political issues, suggest potential courses of action and provide evaluation, information and research services as required. You will proactively research policy, liaise with the media, prepare speeches and brief members.

You will need acute political judgement, be able to establish positive working relationships with members and officers, have excellent communication skills and be able to assimilate and analyse information quickly, spotting critical political issues and managing time effectively to ensure deadlines are met. The need to be sympathetic to the aims of the Conservative Party will be essential.

My personal statement

I am committed to Tory fascism and its practical applications in Medway. This makes me ideal for the position. Here are some specific behaviours and projects I would be willing to oversee:
Very happy to watch asylum seekers drown whilst fleeing from terror if it pleases my MP.
I will assist the sitting Tories to recreate Dead Man’s island as an asylum centre.
Delighted to see the rise of food banks in Medway. Lee Anderson is right when he says that people can cook a meal for 30p. Dust is plentiful in the towns and inexpensive.
I think Boris is a good laugh and probably plays a good game of darts. If required I will meet him in the Cooper’s Arms to talk about Winston Churchill, the Dambusters and the failure of Medway to ingratiate itself by becoming a city.

I can spend money without moral justification or a business case. Whilst I’m not up to the Liz Truss, Dido Harding or Boris Johnson nuclear levels of spaffing, I will learn at the feet of the masters in the council. I approved of the utter waste of money for the Japanese roundabout and the Tori.

We will commission a bird clearance society on the Cliffe Peninsula. Birds serve no useful function for the Tories and the removal of the birds will pave the way for Cliffefell – a high rise development on the marshes, built to new Brexit fire standards.
I’m able to come up with meaningless three word chants to distract the masses from anything that might be important.
I would help to see Suella Braverman as the head of social services in Medway and the installation of prison hulks on Rochester Riverside and Chatham Dockside.

I am joining the Masons. You may say it’s too late, but I have ordered an apron on e-bay.

Civil servants are a blight on society. I would ensure that the council workers are publicly humiliated and flogged at the Dockyard for their woke dress sense and other aspects of their scummy hand to mouth existence on a daily basis. This would also serve as a visitor attraction and bring more revenue to the Council.

I have many bags of sovrinty in my loft and will use them to inflate the aspirations of the prevailing Tory MPs who are not so ashamed of themselves that they will still stand for election in 2024.

I once drowned a puppy and felt no emotion. I saw that as a turning point in my emotional resilience, taking my inspiration from Robert Jenrick, Priti Patel and Suella Braverman.

I am not afraid to call Vince Maple and Keith Starmer out for copying us on Brexit. They have no ideas of their own.

Kelly Tolhust is a proper hardcore woman. She’s a dude innit. We should use her to do some cage fighting with the woke Labour Councillors. We should fight them with the biatches. The Green party in Medway are terrified of her and we can organise some Just Stop Oil type people to fight with them as they eat their vegan sandwiches.
We can transform the Dickens’ Festival into an all year round reality event with guidance from the Minister for the 18th Century, Jacob Rees-Mogg. With forced child labour camps in Luton Road, bear-bating in Lordswood and a Scurvy Centre replacing Gillingham Library. Disease keeps the proles occupied and I will ask Rodney Chambers to commission a campaign of releasing rats into lower Gillingham.

I am skilled in painting and decorating and stand ready to paint over any cheery artworks in child care centres and infant schools.
We could turn the Medway Tunnel into a giant refugee concentration centre. If anyone escapes they would find themselves on the Medway City Estate, itself a wasteland. Fun Drum could also be used to contain the immigrant scum.
If needed. I have some Nat C cosplay suits for party conferences and other Tory youth rallies.
I have a collection of German marching tunes on 78 RPM CDs.
I will fashion an Alan Jarrett memorial statue using slave labour from the Medway artist community and erect it at the War Memorial. Art, music and poetry are a blight on the Medway landscape and I would work hard to replace this will statues of Mark Francois and other military figures.
I am comfortable with taking additional wages for doing arms consultancy with Saudi Arabia whilst relaxing at Avenue Tennis Club.

I have many criminal convictions: petty crime, grand fraud, sexual predation and so on as well as general lying and making false promises. I hope these will be an asset to the Tory party.
I hope that’s enough.

p.s. Brexit has failed – 350 000 people agree with me on this.

350 000 plus views in one day and no credible explanations of the benefits of Brexit.

Somewhat fortuitously, Rishi Sunak has just requested a new post of Prime Minister’s Official Deputy Spokesperson and Head of News. I have also applied for this using some of the ideas for the local job. No disrespect to the council but I’d prefer the top job.

No future … at Medway Council.

Read Bath Building Society and Brexit

Read GB News

Support the UK Tour

Brexit Betrayal

Were you played?

I write this piece directly to leave voters. I ask you the Johnny Rotten question: Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated? This piece of investigative journalism deserves your full attention. I’ve set out some of the main points below, but watch the entire film. You were played by Nigel Farage, Richard Tice, their shady backers and their poster boy Boris Johnson. They took you for fools with well executed lies about fish, the NHS, laws, borders, sovereignty et al. How does it feel to be treated like pawns in a game that you were never part of? You will be paying for Brexit for decades in your pay packets, your freedoms, your health, wealth and happiness. It is time to demand your money back for the illusions of Brexit. Watch and learn how you were played:

The Brexit illusion of sovereignty was just that – an illusion – we could not have had fox hunting, pints, three pin plugs etc. if we were enslaved to a European superstate

The Farage illusion of taking back control of our fish was also an illusion. Many fishing businesses are suffering under Brexit

The Brexit illusion of funding our NHS failed. The £350 million every week never arrived

The Brexit illusion of a United Kingdom failed. Northern Ireland will eventually unite with the Republic of Ireland. Scotland and probably Wales will also leave Brexit Albion

The Brexit illusion of growth failed. Liz Truss’ experiment with Brexonomics took £100 BILLION off the UK balance sheet. You will be paying for this long into the future.

The Brexit illusion of frictionless trade never happened. With food inflation of 15% and a Government fear of implementing border checks lest it leads to food shortages

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48 52 Brexit
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Icberg Strat

Election elephants in the room

The big story from the by-elections this am is a Lib Dem landslide in Somerset and Frome with a 29% swing. Labour also put in a record performance in Selby with the biggest swing recorded for decades. However, the Conservatives surprised everyone by crawling across the finishing line with 495 votes in Uxbridge. Labour say that they achieved this by opposing the extension of the ULEZ scheme, a policy that Boris Johnson originated. However, the Labour candidate in Uxbridge opposed the extension of ULEZ to keep in lockstep with Tory policy on the matter, opposing Sadiq Khan and the entire environmental movement.

Tories voted to kill kids

Someone said that Labour could have won if the Greens had loaned their 700 or so votes in Uxbridge. I think it highly unlikely that Green party members would have loaned their votes given Labour’s capitulation to the Tories on ULEZ, a core issue for Green party voters. This was a victory for people who don’t mind killing children. Given that many young people don’t vote Tory, I can almost imagine the text on Johnson’s WhatsApp messages on his phone “Let the bodies pile high”. Just remember it was Grant Shapps who ordered Sadiq Khan to extend ULEZ.

Vote Tory to kill your kids would have been a more honest electoral slogan.

Ming vase broken

A lack of opposition (Keir Starmer’s so-called Ming vase / ice rink strategy) may not have helped Labour in Uxbridge. Worse still, Labour are asking Sadiq Khan to roll back his ULEZ initiative which affects one in 10 cars in London. Climate denial is not the answer and capitulating to swivel headed loons worse. Sure more help needs to be given to affected people to do the right thing, but this is Tory policy rather than Sadiq Khan’s decision.

I was ambivalent about Labour, as I am a realist but their recent position on climate change has turned me from ambivalence to opposition. Not content with running my kids socio economic futures with brexit, they are now chasing the far right climate denial bus ….

Brexit’s Breaking Britain

Brexit remained the elephant in the room at the by elections. No one discussed it, yet it is at the root of most of our lived experiences in Britain as depicted by the iceberg below. By extension, a lack of opposition on Brexit and the products of Brexit (cost of living, NHS crisis and so on) may well come to bite Labour on their collective bottoms. It’s entirely feasible that a lack of opposition on child benefit by Labour may also have played into the overall result in Uxbridge.

The Brexit Iceberg
The Brexit Iceberg connects front of mind issues with their underlying roots.

Approximately 2500 votes when to other parties such as Lawrence Fox, other far right parties and some anti-ULEZ parties. I don’t buy the argument that these far right votes would have gone to Labour if these parties had not split the vote. The lesson for Labour here is clear:

Oppose

Oppose

Oppose

Tell the truth

I have just listened to Daisy Cooper refusing to answer a simple question on Brexit on BBC Radio 4. In conversation with senior figures such as Sal Briton and Irina von Weise, we agreed that the Lib Dems need a clear USP on Brexit rather than a mealy mouthed apology (we’ll join when the time is right, yada, yada). Nick Robinson just savaged Cooper live on this point who replied with a word salad of internationalism, environmentalism etc. This is why I’m backing Gina Miller and The True and Fair Party.

Join the True and Fair Party today.

Join True and Fair today

Brexorcisms work

To those that tell me that the electorate are stupid and we can’t talk to them about uncomfortable truths such as Brexit, climate disaster, asylum seekers and so on I say horsehit. But we must hold these difficult conversations in a skillful way. Quite why I wrote a book on the gentle art of Brexorcism based on therapeutic interventions supported by psychology and anthropology. A Brexorcism takes skill, patience and time but I have 1000’s of hours experience in changing minds on Brexit. The approach applies just as much to other difficult issues. Labour and Lib Dems ought to be in the business of confronting racists, climate deniers and so on rather than chasing their votes.

Support mass Brexorcisms

Nonetheless, however many Tories attempt to spin the election results, it is a crushing defeat for Rishi Sunakered. We have not yet seen the outfall of this shocking result. No doubt Nadine Dorries, Liz Truss, Kemi Bad Enoch Powell and Penny Morduant will be sharpening their claws. John West sums up the outcome:

Follow John West for hard facts about politics.
The Brexit Iceberg

Promises, promises

To complement our article Hard Facts about Brexit, this article explores some softer facts about Brexit around Rishi Sunak’s five promises now relabelled five priorities, soon to be called five phantasmagorical illusions.  I’m defining hard facts as things having numerical values such as the recent revelation that only 18% of the British population think that Brexit was a good idea.  Still some cling on to the promise of cheaper training shoes the year by 2066. Soft facts are no less important but they inhabit the less quantifiable world.  Robert McNamara pointed out the value of things we cannot easily measure in his famous statement which came to be known as the McNamara Fallacy:

Click to read more on this.

Immigration can be fixed

Rishi Sunak has amped up the Stop the Boats campaign in order to keep BIR (Brexit Inspired Racism) alive in Britain. Undeterred by a decisive judgement that the Rwanda scheme is immoral, indecent and illegal, Rishi has no place to go other than to waste more of your money taking the decision to a higher court.

Rishi disagrees with the rule of law. Integrity in the dustbin.

Before Rishi’s Stop the Boats campaign, less than 10% of British people cared about immigration. Research from UK in a Changing Europe suggests that Ukraine changed attitudes to migration along with staff shortages due to the exodus of European migrant workers after Brexit. As with many things in public life, perception beats reality. People seem to believe that Brexit solved the problem of migrants, despite there being record numbers of migrants after Brexit.  It’s almost as though Brexit popped a festering boil called migration and now people think we are pimple free. Accordingly, the Tories moved into the tight corner of hardcore racism, by demonising people in boats who are forced to live in hotels by the Government, because the Government refuses to allow them to work. The problem with immigration is three-fold:

1. We have not provided safe routes for asylum seekers.

2. The Home office is hopelessly unable to process those arriving.

3. Our government insists on incarcerating all people seeking asylum in hotels and on boats when the vast majority could become productive members of society who pay taxes. Naturally this antagonises people with feeble minds who don’t understand that this is a deliberate choice by Rishi Sunak.

This two-minute film explains more:

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God’s waiting room

Even Tory party majorette Laura Kuenssberg questioned the veracity of Rishi Sunak’s claims that NHS waiting lists are falling. Patently they are NOT. It is a dirty LIE. Granted that Sunak said that people waiting two years for treatment are not waiting now. Some of them are dead …

That’s quite a charge ….

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Halving inflation

Sunak may well be able to halve inflation. He needs to do this by early 2024 if there if to be a mini bounce prior to an election. Here is little Rishi’s strategy:

Sunak refuses to negotiate with nurses, doctors, train drivers, public servants yada yada even though public service pay rises do not contribute to inflation. But he manages the perception that he is being tough by doing this.

Little Rishi is instead loading the costs on first time buyers and people with mortgages who may have their houses repossessed. Of course, destitute people don’t contribute much to inflation. Dead people are even better, as they are a net tax input to the treasury.

Food inflation continues but people cannot afford to eat, so that problem is solved.

Fuel inflation is now largely baked into Rishi’s spreadsheet so he may get lucky here. But luck is not a strategy.

That said, inflation control is proving to be stubborn and reaching 5% may well prove impossible unless luck kicks in.

Five promises now five priorities, aka five lies.

Reducing debt

Rishi’s promise aka priority in this area is once again typically vague. When 0.1% came off inflation 10% Rishi claimed a victory. For someone skilled in counting (his own) money. this is a fatal maths error !!! Thanks to Brexit we have record levels of national debt so any decrease would also be hailed as a great success. Truss wiped an uncool £70 000 000 000 off of the value of UK plc thanks to her Kamikaze budget in her experiment in hard Brexit economics. The Tory Fiscal cliff is now unprecedented and the root cause is 13 years of Tory mismanagement and hobby projects such as Brexit which have lowered our resilience to other global effects such as the pandemic and the Russian war on Ukraine.

The Golden Growth Goose

Rishi must, of course, be seen to have a go at growth, per his predecessor Liz Truss.  This is why he recently suggested that Britain would be an area of low or no regulation re AI.  He plans to fight America and Europe in the gold rush for jobs in AI … except that this is the war of the worlds scenario that leads to our extinction. See my articles and book on AI and humanity.

Apart from anything else, Britain does not have a workforce of highly skilled people, with many having left the country due to Brexit.  His desperate attempt to hire gardeners and OAPs to do dentistry is at the root of his problems.

Going for growth is also problematic at an ethical level.  Producing more stuff in a world that needs and wants less stuff is morally bankrupt.  We are seeing an end of days strategy from a weak Prime Minister, devoid of ideas, support and soft power in the world.

Learn the skills of Brexorcism here

Say Bollocks to Brexit

Petition

Banish Boris

We just made this film with Faux Bojo in which he makes it clear that he wants to you sign his petition whilst also asking you NOT to sign the petition. Once you have NOT signed it, please share it. Then don’t share it – it’s perfectly clear really? !:(*^%?? Here’s the conclusion of the Select Committee report to help you decide to sign the petition or not. We are touring the UK to spread the message, starting in Clacton on Sea on Thursday. Please support our project to help put Brexit and Boris into deep freeze.

Dualism in action.

The question which the House asked the Committee is whether the House had been misled by Mr Johnson and, if so, whether that conduct amounted to contempt. It is for the House to decide whether it agrees with the Committee. The House as a whole makes that decision. Motions arising from reports from this Committee are debatable and amendable.

The Committee had provisionally concluded that Mr Johnson deliberately misled the House and should be sanctioned for it by being suspended for a period that would trigger the provisions of the Recall of MPs Act 2015. In light of Mr Johnson’s conduct in committing a further contempt on 9 June 2023, the Committee now considers that if Mr Johnson were still a Member he should be suspended from the service of the House for 90 days for repeated contempts and for seeking to undermine the parliamentary process, by:

a) Deliberately misleading the House

b) Deliberately misleading the Committee

c) Breaching confidence

d) Impugning the Committee and thereby undermining the democratic process of the House

e) Being complicit in the campaign of abuse and attempted intimidation of the Committee.

We recommend that he should not be entitled to a former Member’s pass, (or Blockbuster video card – added by the author).

Petition
Sign the petition by clicking the image.
The good old days
The wonderful work of James Rowland, one of our activists.

Read more : Johnson’s Revenge

Read more : Go Nads

Boris Johnson in the stocks

Gammonite Balderdash News

Our weekly update from Brexit Balderdash de-Bunker Don Adamson from his Brexit Bunker buried in Barnsley. Don takes on GB News aka Gammon Balderdash News this week.

This week’s homework: 

One. Discuss the following statement – Daily Vile has made large numbers of staff redundant, Torygraph has called in the receivers, fewer and fewer people are watching Gammonite Balderdash News Cur James Dyson, Nigel Garbage, Dim Tim Wetherspoon, Ann Widdecombe. Rachel Johnson (sister of Satan’s Deputy) and 66% of Daily Express readers have stated that Brexit has gone horribly wrong. Meanwhile Keith Starmer insists he can ‘make Brexit work’ despite all the evidence to the contrary. Starmer is, essentially, giving us the same deceit and hypocrisy that Neo Nazi Tories and far left Trade Unionists have been giving us for years. Can Keith Starmer do what Neo Nazi Tories have failed to do?

Two: ‘Men without honour and women without virtue’ is a disparaging comment that has fallen into disuse because it is nowadays considered politically incorrect. For all that it may be out of step with the times it is a profoundly accurate way to describe the people who have inflicted this Brexit FUBAR on us. This is a good time for Johnson to go. He can quit politics secure in the knowledge that Keith Starmer is as hell bent on doing a Brexit FUBAR as the Tories are hell bent on doing a Brexit FUBAR. Tories got us into this mess by making promises they could not keep. Keith Starmer says he can get us out of this mess by repeating the same promises even though he knows full well that that these are promises that nobody can keep. In what way are Labour Party promises they cannot keep better than Tory Party promises they cannot keep? In what way is a Labour Party Brexit FUBAR better than a Tory Party Brexit FUBAR? In what way are Labour Party Brexit masturbation fantasies better than Tory Party Brexit masturbation fantasies? Why are we stuck with a ruling class that is hell bent on doing a FUBAR? 

Read Hard Labour

Three: In the language that Gammons, Flagshaggers and Tories speak the term ‘Move on’ is a euphemism for ‘Allow crimes to go unpunished.’ Why are Gammons, Flagshaggers and Tories so anxious to let crimes go unpunished? Similarly: Love Americans or hate those at least Federal Prosecutors have the brains, courage and decency to bring charges against Trump. Why is it that British prosecutors lack any kind of brains, courage and decency? 

Four: Torygraph has gone into receivership. Elon Musk has expressed an interest in buying it. Will this make the Torygraph more of a pack of lies or less of a pack of lies? 

Telegraph
The Torygraph. Return to sender. Click to read more.

Five. Rachel Johnson (sister of Satan’s Deputy). Recently commented that apart from Brexit and the Pandemic her adored brother got everything right. For the last three years Gammons and Flagshaggers have been telling us that they ‘Got the big calls right.’ Do we now understand that Brexit and the Pandemic are otherwise than ‘the big calls?’ 

Boris Johnson in the stocks
Boris Johnson in the stocks – Image by the brilliant James Rowland.

Read Brexit has failed

This week’s quotes: 

Fraud

Richy Scumbag’s new ‘anti fraud champion’ Antony Brown…. accepted £5,000 … from Jeffrey Archer – one of the most notorious frauds in British political history…. Polyco Healthline’s Covid record … supplying more than a million counterfeit masks … bagged profits of £40M last year… Blame Matt Hancock … everything is his fault. We always knew that he was a useless idiot; which is why we made him health secretary…

Sexual harassment 

How did Nadine Dorries react when Johnson was accused of covering up repeated incidents of sexual harassment by Tory Whip Chris Pincher … Dorries defends Johnson … a man who thinks he is above the law and the standards the rest of us are held to… Rape has long had the lowest charging rate of all crimes…. in recent years a precipitous drop in the number of cases that make it to court … reports of rape have increased exponentially … 

Last year a senior Daily Mail journalist … sacked after sexual investigation with junior trainee … pontificating of one pundit left colleagues gobsmacked  … propensity for harassing junior male staff … resulted in staff leaving with payouts … 

Sue Ellen Braverman’s speeding ticket 

… Grease Bogg laughed off questions about whether he speeds … message from corridors of power is that speeding is something that everybody does … provisional  statistics for 2022 reveal 136,000 road casualties including 1,659 deaths … 

We need a new industrial revolution 

Can Labour provide one? … Manufacturing peaked across G7 countries in the mid 1960s …our political elites did deindustrialisation long and hard … manufacturing in Germany and Japan contribute 20% and 17% … in Britain 9.7% … we have the smallest manufacturing sector in the G7 and is shrinking the fastest … restricted the UK’s ability to haul itself out of recession … only a productivity miracle will provide an escape hatch … too small to drive an economic turnaround … there are solutions but none of them have the slightest chance of boosting UK to pole position within 5 years … the easiest way to achieve Labour’s growth target would be to boost inward immigration beyond the already all time high … the deindustrialisation mania of the 1980s and 1990s left us strategically insecure … learning must begin with frank admission of what we do not know … 

Keith Starmer’s attempt to win over Daily Express readers by nailing his colours to threadbare Brexit flag

… Starmer accused the EU of stealing our dinner money on the basis of a Brexit that he voted for … Express readers cynical about attempt to win them round…  at event in Ely not one person thought Brexit was going well … Brexit is the worst act of self harm in the world’s development … direction of opinion polls is all one way at the moment …  timing of Keith Starmer’s article … adamantly sticking to his ‘make Brexit work’ approach all the more baffling … reality has caught up with Johnson lies and Nigel Garbage fantasies … ‘Christ! This is worse than anybody expected’ … Keith Starmer promises the ‘highest sustained growth in the G7 … not going to happen until we fix the damage Brexit has done … 

Read Myths and Riffs of Brexit

Johnson 

… resignation honours always pretty dodgy … Thick Lizzie’s list has also been put on definite hold… prospect of Johnson’s unredacted WhatsApp messages being submitted as evidence to Covid enquiry is causing terror in the Cabinet Office … it is difficult to find ways to satirise this stuff … it would seem that whatever Johnson has just submitted is at least as damaging to his successors as it is to him… Schofield had an affair and lied about it … so did Johnson … Johnson lied about far more consequential things … Schofield is disgraced former TV presenter … why is Johnson never the disgraced former PM? … Schofield is a ruined, broken man … Johnson broke a country … plays the media like a fiddle, gets taxpayer to fund huge legal bills … buys a £4M house for cash …. Fights to put donors in the House of Lords…

Rupert Murdoch’s summer party 

Keen to demonstrate he is still breathing … dilemma for Keith Starmer … keen to ingratiate himself with Murdoch … also reluctant to alienate his natural base … 

Andrew Bridgen

… kicked out of Tory Party … sole Reclaim MP … predicted other Tories would be won over by Laurence Pox …remain in splendid isolation … Tories so unpopular people will vote for anybody who is not Tory … 

John Simpson 

BBC world affairs correspondent for 35 years … criticised BBC for giving too much air time to Brexiters … powers want the viewers to see him as little as possible…

Australia / NZ trade deals

… negligible contribution to British economy … not a good deal for the UK … gave far too much away for too little… 

National Conservatives

Knew their name would be abbreviated to NatCees and did it on purpose … human breach of the Ministerial Code Sue Ellen Braverman… 

Suella Braverman Priti Patel
Do you support killing children? Suella and Priti do.

Pandemic 

We are not ready for the next pandemic … Arcturus is the  latest variant of Covid 19 …surged across India …detected in more than 30 countries … pathogen is still mutating …We cannot afford to drop our guard … 227,000 fatalities recorded in Britain to date … compare to 454,000 Brits killed in WW2 …  twice the toll of the virus but over six years not three … Lady Hallett’s inquiry … reported as Westminster soap opera … Richy Scumbag might reflect on Richard Nixon  … reluctance to hand over tapes led to impeachment … For PM who promised ‘integrity, professionalism and accountability to make himself vulnerable to charge of cover up is madness … preparations for a future pandemic are in a wretched state … when not if … we are not ready … infrastructure developed during the crisis is being dismantled or defunded … deliberate government policy … Westminster recrimination and desperate Tory infighting … 

Covid 19 inquiry 

Commissions in other countries finished their reports…. In complexity, political sensitivity…. only Chilcott Iraq inquiry  compares … most sensational hearings will come Autumn 2023 … focus on Johnson and his inner circle …’why did you skip five meetings …. did you really suggests you should be injected with Covid on TV … obtaining evidence has become a circus … Witness statements patchy and late … silence and obfuscation … Inquiry is still in the dark … Britain was led into a crisis by an inadequate and distracted PM …

Richy Scumbag 

Setting up a public enquiry then withholding evidence looks like an admission of guilt … Scumbag’s approval ratings at -21 point (20 points worse than Keith Starmer’s) … Scumbag accepted that his election defeat is inevitable … what is happening in Scumbag’s government is so ill thought-through that it is hard to believe that a clever Goldman Sachs man is in charge … furlough loans … undue generosity to fake businesses that have since disappeared … no hope of being repaid … Tory party riven with divides for decades … Scumbag as reluctant as his predecessors to confront them … striving to keep far right Sue Ellen Braverman lovers sweet, while attempting to please more moderate Tories … grandstanding … not impressive … other European countries benefitting hugely … another Brexit ‘freedom’ that is damaging … glaring evidence that government takes a blinkered view ….dogmatic approach leads government in indefensible positions … selfish … short-sighted … if Tories sneak an election victory … he will find himself confronting the same problems, only even more deep seated … sound bites will have vanished along with the hopes they promised … Scumbag does not look like a man in charge … increasingly looks like one leaving after the next election for comfortable life in Santa Monica … 

Economists wring their hands over seaside towns 

Metropolitan politicians fret (their inhabitants were likeliest to vote for Brexit) … ‘Good Lord! This is ghastly?’ … populist tides that resulted in Brexit swelling in eastern coastal towns … fertile soil for resentment based cause … 

Join us in Clacton next Thu 22 June

Pip Pip             Don Adamson Medway Delta (Retired)                       Brexorcist and Saboteur First Class 

The Daily Maul

Brexit Boom & BUSST

Our latest edition of the Daily Maul covers the massive litter tray of dead cats generated by Boris Johnson, Liz Truss, Rishi Sunakered and Nadine Dorries. This in the wake of Johnson’s long overdue fall from grace for killing 30 000 people unnecessarily and giving us an oven burned bungled Brexit. Please see our fact and fiction checker to tell the difference between facts and fictions in our edition of the Maul. Grab a copy of Private Eyelines for more of this stuff. Fight fascism with satire – the one thing they cannot take away from us.

The Daily Maul
Click on a dead cat to read Private Eyelines.

HARD FACTS

FACT : Liz Truss went on GB News (Gammon Balderdash News) last night, appearing to forget that she supported Remain in 2016. Her parents have disowned her. The kids must be next. Although she has not formed the BUSS (Boris-Truss) party, stranger things have happened. The Truss is out on manoeuvres to kill little Rishi Sunak along with Mad Nads and some other Tories.

Truss amnesia.

FACT : Boris Johnson was found guilty of lying repeatedly by a committee comprised mainly of his own party members. No amount of gaslighting or dead cattery can cover this up. Read the Select Committee report.

FACT : Boris Johnson started new job as Daily Mail columnist the day after the Select Committee (aka Kangaroo court) report found he lied repeatedly to Parliament. They have clearly picked the right man to lie for them. This itself is another breach of the Ministerial Code. His first report concerns the vitally unimportant fact that he takes drugs to stop him raiding the fridge at night for cheese and chorizo. He needs really to take drugs to stop his infatuation with fridges …

The Daily Maul
The real Daily Maul. Click to read the satire version.

FACT : Boom and Brexit Busted : Mark Carnage reports on Brexit Carnage and its effects on inflation in the Telegraph. YES, the Telegraph !! There was no Boris Brexit Boom. Carney was former Bank of England chief.

Click on the image to read the ‘Telegravda’.



FACT : Jacob Rees-Mogg and the other few remaining nutters on the deck of the SS Brexit are now calling for the removal of our sovereignty. Sovereignty was the very thing that they said we had to have back as the main reason for Brexit. This by the genius Cold War Steve:

Click to see Cold War Steve’s work.

FACT : Rishi Sunak has resorted to wearing brown boots that are nearly bigger than his torso in order to look like a ‘hard man’. Caught smiling on camera whilst the police raided a home yesterday in the traditional racist smirk pioneered by Priti Patel and gold-plated by Suella Braverman.

Sunakered
Behind a painted smile ….

Click to stop Johnson’s honour’s list

PULP FICTION

FICTION : The Truss and Johnson have not formed a new political party or had political intercourse, as far as we know.

FICTION : RIshi Sunak’s brown boots have not made him more or less racist. Just the standard amount or racism. Nor has little Rishi lost 3 inches in stature whilst playing Call of Duty. It was Liz Truss who was the shortest (lived) Prime Minister in history as this clip from James O’Brien on LBC shows.

FICTION : As far as we know, Boris Johnson has not ordered Carrie to deliver a new baby on Monday as a distraction when Parliament vote to accept the Select Committee report. Nor has Nadine Dorris moved back into nursing, or delivered a Cesarian section. However, if I were Carrie, I would not let Mad Nads near her.

From Mad Nad’s attic – the wonderful work of Cold War Steve.

Future directions for activism

Our efforts must now concentrate on four areas:

Changing Labour’s attitude to Brexit. See Hard Labour.

Continuing to move the dial in leave voters’ minds. See Strategies for Brexorcism.

Picking Remainers who are suffering from learned helplessness up off the floor. See Scottish Bylines.

Making the case for Rejoin more vigorously. See Strategies to Rejoin the EU.

Read Scottish Bylines

Read more : Go Nads

Read more : Brexit and geopolitics

Join us at BBC Question Time in Clacton Thu 22 June.
Live pictures from the Select Committee as taken by Nadine Dorries.

Daily Excess - Go Nads

Go Nads

Our latest edition of the Daily Excess covers the stories that the mainstream media will not print. Go Nads covers the fact that Brexit has failed. Sunak’s reputation is left in tatters and the main winner is Johnson’s hairdresser and his body double Michael Fabricate. For more headlines and hard facts to defeat Johnson’s lies like this, grab your copy of our book Private Eyelines – Have I got fake Brexit news for EU.

In the end, it was Boris’ hair that brought hime down …. click to read the book.

We must ensure that this means the end of the Tories in Uxbridge and Bedfordshire. Please support our Crowdfunder to do this. We plan a full campaign costing £1200 in terms of travel, accommodation and resources, over a period of several weeks

We also plan to launch an attack on the BBC Question Time Special in Clacton on June 22. Please support the initiative by giving us a donation towards costs via Paypal. We need a minimum of £500 to pay for garage costs, tyres, tax travel costs, flags, stickers etc. We will also need a team on the ground and maybe security from the Alt-Right.

Johnson has evaded the select committee by resigning before it reports on the findings of its review. This means that Johnson has wasted £250 000 of public money in legal fees. Please sign the petition to ask for YOUR MONEY back.

Meanwhile, Rishi Sunak’s stated values of integrity, professionalism and accountability are in tatters, having been forced to give Johnson his honours list in exchange for his silence on Sunak’s dubious tax affairs. Johnson gave these honours to the Downing Street hairdresser (no this is not a joke) and a list of cronies including those who broke lockdown rules at the Partygate events. Still more of these events are coming to light. 30 000 people died unnecessarily from Johnson’s decisions. He should really be in the Hague facing trial. Of course, it must be noted that Johnson has once again escaped all responsibility for Brexit carnage, aided and abetted by Keir Starmer who follows rather than leads at every step. Since the Tories and Brexit are dead, our efforts should be mostly focused on Labour. It would be a crying shame to get the Tories out only to find that we are left with a red Brexit, indistinguishable from a blue one. Even the left wing press are now calling for Starmer to turn in the wake of the fact that Brexit has failed. Just today we learn from Greg in Northern Ireland that UK-based suppliers or distributors of medicines should prepare for different packaging for medicines to be supplied to UK and EU markets from 1 January 2025. Brexit delivers more red tape and cost rather than the promised Brexit freedoms!

Rishi Sunak and Suella Braverman’s strategy – “when the boot comes in”.

Read more : Johnson’s Revenge

From the vault : Corona : Lessons learned

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Join us on Wed 5th July 8 pm on ZOOM

Downing Street

Car crash special

Don Adamson reports on the Tory car crash special : the news that Rupert Murdoch dares not publish. It is indeed strange that a car trundles into a gate at 2 mph, causing no damage to the car or the gate and, all of a sudden, Rishi Sunak has to be evacuated. One is left wondering if this is a stunt dreamt up in Tufton Street to garner sympathy for Sunakered? Or, to insist on greater police powers to arrest children riding Playmobil cars in Britain, on suspicion of crimes against the state?

Talking cock

This week’s quotes: “Nigel Garbage sees himself as cock of the walk at Gammonite Balderdash News … sense of resentment that GB News does not remunerate him more handsomely … little or no logic on how people are paid … sniping about pay and grievances … Garbage paid £480 536 … Last year Labour raised £300,000 more from donors than Tories … Johnson’s earnings (sic) down from £766,000 to £216,000 from speeches in London, Pennsylvania and Lagos … not persuaded Johnson to give up the free accommodation that JCB heir, Lord Bamford, provides … not all joy in Johnson land. …

Wipeout

Tory wipe out in local elections … eccentric fan club Conservative Democratic Organisation champion his return to office …. Johnson fanzine Mail On Sunday decided to focus on Prince Harry bashing … support for Brexit drastically falling … 63% want UK to Rejoin … I cannot see the Tories coming back from this one … no disguising catastrophic results … a range of exhausted volcanoes … seven years of Brexit have been an unqualified disaster … terrible reckoning lies ahead of the Tories … the party is over. Brexit has reduced Tories to a populist campaigning movement … crude culture wars … nativist vilification…. Tories have to answer to the questions … nothing of substance to say … The sun is finally setting on a political empire born 44 years ago (Thatcherism) …

Starmer or Stammer?

It is high time the 21st century began in earnest . Is Starmer’s Labour Party up for the challenge? … Might the Mail and other right wing propaganda rags have been part of the reason for the Tories dire performance in recent elections … the difference between their version of politics and what is actually happening is now so vast it just makes people angrier … Tory tone deaf response to shellacking underlines how out of touch they are … ‘if they focussed less on stopping boatloads of refugees and more on stopping our teeth from falling out we might not be so desperate to kick out the Tories’ … I doubt Richy Scumbag will see that … What can Labour promise? … It is easier to be principled and uncompromising when you do not collide with reality … Any idiot can promise the world. There is nothing impressive about extravagant promises that can never become real … very few voters think the country is on the right track and even fewer want an opposition party to deliver more of the same only more competently …

Nuts

I thought Brexit was, frankly, nuts, … the private equity sector think that Cruella de Ville is some kind of woke do-gooder ,,, financier Guy Hands has emerged as an intriguing and informed critic of the whole Brexit mess …a Brexit that was designed to tear up the accepted order, risk the country’s future and benefit the ultra rich … libertarian right wing – callous and uncaring assumed they would always survive decided to press ahead, setting their own needs ahead of the country … people dismissed Thick Lizzie as being incredibly stupid, whereas what she was saying was that the only way Brexit would work was basically to tear up the rule book … within a few weeks it was clear that could not happen and the country would go bankrupt … she was ideologically correct … that was the only way Brexit could work … ironic that Tory ministers try to blame the Civil Service or Remainers for the failure of Brexit … will not take responsibility for the fact that what they tried to do was delusional … the reality is that Brexit could never have worked … we have the worst of both worlds … the issue is how much damage will have been done to Europe as a whole … while it is bad for the UK it is bad for Europe as a whole …”

Car Crash
It is indeed strange that a car trundles into a gate at 2 mph, causing no damage to the car or the gate and, all of a sudden, Rishi Sunak has to be evacuated. One is left wondering if this is a stunt dreamt up in Tufton Street to garner sympathy for Sunakered? Or, to insist on greater police powers to arrest children riding Playmobil cars in Britain, on suspicion of crimes against the state? And what was Ann Widdecombe doing in the boot?

Winners and Losers

(COMMENT: I said this all along).  “The only people really benefitting are the Chinese … the damage from Brexit continues … we are losing our advantage. UK is being torn apart … death by a thousand cuts … They think the French are going to love us because we divorced them … UK is in decline … Britain has become rather nasty. Whether it is sending people to Rwanda or attacking people who disagree with the government…. we need politicians who admit they got it wrong … It is a mess … asking for such politicians nowadays is asking for pigs to fly … steady creep of Tory attacks on our freedom  … Britain feels less like a third country and more like a third world country …Brexit has done good job of making EU countries glad they are in it – they look at us and shudder … If voter ID cannot stop the anti Tory vote we should raise the voting age to 70 … we should add ‘expectation management’ to the ever growing list of things the Tories cannot do …  

Who are EU?

“World Health Organisation declared Covid 19 is no longer a ‘public health emergency … 7M deaths have been reported … WHO thinks the true toll is 20M …Fox Corporation swung to a quarterly loss because of costs associated with $787.5M settlement in a defamation case …Britain plays catch up in a global scramble for essential commodities …lacks the heft of USA, China or EU … it is a big hole to dig out of … Ramsgate Harbour once held a big fishing fleet … only sign of life is four cutters of the Border Force … in 2015 UKIP took control of Ramsgate council, first and last it would run…. shambolic … the issue of Brexit has faded … lives are dominated by the cost of living and the health service … UKIP lost all its councillors … the towns where the Brexit revolution started are showing signs it may be at an end … Mid Suffolk district council… first to be controlled by the Green Party …  decades of cuts to the British Army have called into question its ability in a conflict … at its smallest since the Napoleonic era …

From Russia with hate

Putain’s generals are useless, Putain himself is a ‘a complete asshole’ and the war is going to be lost … Russia’s willingness to go on fighting is approaching tipping point … what can break that arrogance, along with the propensity to rape, torture, murder and mutilate that Russian troops have become infamous for? … what, if anything might persuade Sue Ellen Braverman that her rhetoric and strategy might have gone too far … morally unacceptable … denounced by the UN Refugees Association, Council of Europe, UNICEF and former PM Theresa May … Braverman has been referred to the Bar Standards Board for breaching its code of conduct … what we in the trade call ‘ a lie’ … the majority of child exploitation groups are made up of white men under the age of 30 .., downright sinister shift in her rhetoric … even on its own terms the government is failing …

Bankrolled by Putin … now totally discredited … Nigel Farage

Truth bombs

Starmer promised that his government would be transformative … a good start would be to present himself as a leader with courage to speak the truth … rank hypocrisy … encouraging signs that this wave of popular illiberalism encouraged by irresponsible politicians is receding … Lincoln, Churchill and Kennedy demonstrated that nations can be inspired by confrontation with reality …. Richy Scumbag has worked out that an economy battered by Brexit cannot take much more of financial, legal, commercial and environmental chaos … Brexit being both symptom and cause of our decline … running the new line ‘if only we did Brexit the way we want it everything would be tickety boo … some of the many things about Brexit that were damaging the country … Brextremists never accepted responsibility for Brexit’s failure, and none of them ever had a credible plan …

Brexit Broadcasting Corporation

BBC has for years provided platforms to the Brexiters and they are never properly challenged nor scrutinised …  the right seem to defend their anti-woke diatribes as being rooted in free speech … in practice try to shut down any criticism of the populist, polarising, post truth approach … Brexit morass into which we are sinking more each day … more bad news about the impact of Brexit … “ Everything in the country seems broken … disappearing Tory voters and disaffected Brexiters … classic Tory tactic … arriving at fantasy uncosted figures … there is a real black hole … created by 13 years of bad government, austerity, slow productivity growth, and the disaster of Brexit … failing state with weak defence and a deteriorating health service … Brexit is costing the government some £40B to £50B per year in tax revenue …

Sharp cuts

RAF does not have enough pilots, the navy does not have enough ships and shrunken army cannot put an armoured division in the field … a host of other areas where massive cuts have sneaked through and the consequences are being felt … the police and the courts are groaning. The civil service’s ability to deal with crises has been affected by cuts … the atavistic Thatcherite belief that you can provide a good NHS, strong defence and everything else people and business need while keeping taxes low has been exposed as a lie … Brexit costing £100B a year in lost output … the chatter among the media classes is who will replace Sharp?  …

Pip Pip            Don Adamson Medway Delta (Retired)           Brexorcist and Saboteur First Class 

Coffey anyone?
Cats Against Brexit Mayhem

Farage’s fascist funeral

I have said on numerous occasions that populism will eat itself. And so it comes to pass, as Nigel Farage decides to cannibalise himself by stating that “Brexit has failed” this week. I wrote a song in 2018 that predicted Nigel’s demise at the confessional box of Farage’s fascist funeral. Just like Eleanor Rigby, nobody came. Check our film “We are Donkeys” out on our EU Tube Channel. It’s a dark dystopian piece of ambient jazz. not destined for the pop music charts, but it tells the tale of Nigel’s lonely demise in his bunker:

We are Donkeys.

EU-logy

Nigel was a great opportunist. Having failed to mobilise any meaningful movement around his euroscepticism over 20 years whilst taking a large salary from an employer he hated, he weaponised Tory austerity from 2010-2015. Angry people need something or someone else to blame. Nigel spotted that immigrants were an excellent target for ‘othering’. He set about leveraging the dissent within knuckle dragging racists and people with feeble minds who felt they did not have a voice in David Cameron’s Britain. Borrowing an old Nazi poster from the 1930’s, Nige kept his message simple and clear. “Breaking Point” was a huge success, contributing to a 12% swing in the referendum result which would have otherwise been 60 : 40 in favour of remaining in the European Union. When combined with the vacuous promises of Boris Johnson about “Taking Back Control” and giving £350 million to the NHS EVERY week, it represented a potent cocktail which people drank in straight glasses with a crown on the side. Cameron was caught with his pants down as he also assessed Nigel as an utter tosser. He could not believe it when Nigel use the killing of Jo Cox in the final push towards victory. Now that Nigel is dead, he seeks forgiveness for his sins, along with his wife Ann, who could not even afford a cheese sandwich at his funeral, choosing to appear on GB News instead. Nigel leaves his German children with a blue passport, a Toby jug and a 1970’s alarm clock to remind them of the final destination of Brexit. Nigel is remembered as being quintessentially a pound shop fascist and a piece of Eurotrash, not even worthy of a slot on Antoine de Caunes’ famous expose of all things kitsch, arcane, bizarre and just sad.

Cats Against Brexit Mayhem
Cats look for a cheese sandwich … Click image to support our work.

We’re only making plans for Nigel

Nigel’s admission will have systemic consequences. What does Rishi Sunak now do about his pound shop fascist Suella Braverman? What does Richard Tice do about the Reform party? How will the BBC find guests for Question Time? How will Jacob Rees-Mogg continue to espouse the benefits of Brexit in terms of cheaper training shoes etc.? How will Ann Widdecombe cope? Liz Truss? Penny Mordaunt? Kemi Badenoch? and much more … We finish with the A-side of the Nigel Farage single. “Nigel Farage’s Garage” is a song performed regularly on Downing Street and also in Swindon, The Reading Festival, Glastonbury, Leeds, Manchester, Harrogate, Durham, Barnard Castle, Brighton, Rochester, Deal, Faversham, Sittingbourne and …. Brussels. Please support our continuing work by buying The Brexit Party Album on Bandcamp. It’s the party album to end all tomorrow’s Brexit parties !!

From Dulwich Collage – As Nigel pointed out, he did not even go to the right school.

Brexit Party Album
The Brexit Party Album – download from Bandcamp by clicking on Ann, a Moggy or Nige.