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12 angry Tories

12 angry Tories

Some of you will have seen the famous film “12 angry men”. If you have not here is the plot in a few words from the official film description. Following the closing arguments in a murder trial, 12 members of the jury must deliberate. A guilty verdict would mean death for the accused, an inner-city teen. As the dozen men try to reach a unanimous decision while sequestered in a room, one juror (Henry Fonda) casts considerable doubt on elements of the case. Personal issues soon rise to the surface, and conflict threatens to derail the delicate process that will decide one boy’s fate. Through the process of dialogue and analysis Fonda convinces his fellow jurors to acquit the teenager against all the odds. The parallel questions here must be:

“Why are the Tories so angry?”

and

“Can anyone heal their regrets?”

12 angry Tories
Who will heal their collective anger?

From far right to right :

1. Steve Baker

Self-confessed hardman of Brexit who went soft as his dream melted away and under pressure from the many people who said he was delusional. Baker said he hadn’t felt happy since the Brexit vote, never mind the people who had to suffer from its death wave. Baker recently said that the 2016 referendum should have had a mandatory 60% majority for it to be a settled matter. This is polite parlance for the fact that Brexit has failed and we can and must join the EU anew.

2. Nadine Dorries

Monkey testicle eating Dorries now falls into the category of a woman scorned, after falling in love with Boris Johnson and having that love denied. This coincided with Johnson giving an honour to a 29 year old woman who bears an uncanny resemblance to Bojo rather than ‘Lady’ Dorries. Nadine more or less went on strike, failing to attend Parliament or do her constituency work for an extended period. She is no more, having been voted out of her Mid Bedfordshire constituency. Anger is too polite a word to describe Ms Dorries. Even local dad and police commissioner could not save her solid Tory constituency from falling in the recent by-election.

3. Penny Morduant

PM (Penny Morduant not Prime Minister) in waiting, Penny is angry because she was overlooked in the search for a Prime Minister in 2022, having been passed over for Liz Truss. Penny decided it was best to hold a sword for an hour to demonstrate the relevant competences for being PM (Penny Morduant not Prime Minister). PM has the unusual accolade of claiming military credentials in the Royal Navy, although it seems that all her experience with seamen was acquired on dry land. Another angry Brexiteer with several grudges, a sword and a desire to stand up and fight …

4. Douglas Ross

Scottish Conservatives leader. Yes it’s hard being a Conservative in Scotland as virtually everyone swears at you but Douggie has other reasons to be angry as well. Boris Johnson swore at him when Doug voted for Johnson to resign in 2022. Doug shouted Deputy First Minister of Scotland Shona Ross down when she called on Rishi Sunak to meet his commitments for net zero instead of watering them down. This is one of his regular behaviours in the Scottish Parliament. Don’t be like Doug.

5. Priti Patel

Priit Patel was once hailed as the most extreme Home Secretary of all time. Priti is angry because Suella Braverman has made her look like a member of the Cats’ Protection League when compared with Suella’s full fat Nazi style celebration of children drowning in small boats. One of the most vicious ‘immigrants turned racist’ in the Tory party, Priti remains popular due to her loyalty to Boris Johnson. Known for shouting and bullying staff, Priti waits in the wings ready to pounce on Rishi when the time is right. Check our remake of “Priti Woman” which satirises some of her most famous quotes. PG rated due to Matt Hancock in leg irons.

6. Liz Truss

What can one say? The woman who broke Britain with her version of hard Brexit economics in just 49 days with her partner in grime Kwasi Kwarteng. The cost of ‘Trussonomics‘ was an eye watering £60 billion, only eclipsed by the ongoing cost of Brexit which stands at £100 billion EVERY year. As if all this was not bad enough, Liz is undeterred and plans a comeback, saying that her wilful destruction of the country was “not understood by the markets”. The Truss has had some public speaking training recently. Since people are easily fooled by a slick presentation over content (see also Johnson for style over substance), we should be very afraid. Although The Truss started life as an anti-monarchist woke lefty liberal, she has now ‘manned up’ in support of cheese, Norfolk turkeys and the British apple. A stint on ‘Bakeoff’ seems more appropriate. Our song “more than enough” sums up The Truss well. Watch the video and buy the albums to support our independent journalism.

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Resilence

7. Boris Johnson

There are not enough column inches or time at the COVID enquiry to describe this man’s impact and catastrophic demise from his imposter position as PM. He said that Brexit could be microwaved when it was already burned. Brexit has given us a 4.5% hit to UK resilience. This is the equivalent of trying to swim the English Channel with a block of concrete around your neck. Johnson killed up to 40 000 vulnerable people through dither and delay and making decisions that were against the science. He allowed his mates to profit from COVID, even encouraged it. Eventually his party chums turned against him and he more or less had to be forcibly removed from No 10 Downing Street. Johnson’s attempted comeback was resisted by his party colleagues. He has now reversed into GB News so that he can snipe at Rishi Sunak from the sidelines.

8. Jacob Rees-Mogg

Having lined his pockets from Brexit, lied to the Queen and then reversed into being a paid hack for GB News, Jacob resigned from his position. This was probably because he regretted the reverse takeover of the British Empire by the Indians. Mogg is one of the few politicians who continues to stand by Brexit which he claims will offer immense opportunities sometime into the 23rd Century. Privately I suspect he is much less happy about the lack of divergence from EU laws 98% of which we helped to make. He will also be spooked by the paltry returns on our trade deals which are effectively ‘fire sales’ in our desperation to point to something positive about Brexit (See also Kemi Badenoch and CPTPP). This film is from 2018 when we ambushed Jake at BBC Question Time.

9. Suella Braverman

As stated previously, Suella has made Priti Patel look like Mother Theresa with her full fat fascist agenda to feed a few remaining gammon voters with live immigrant children. Braverman has recently tried to put thought crime on the statute book, by suggesting that anyone who uses the word Jihad on the street is a terrorist. Even Tory peer Baroness Warsi was moved to criticise Suella by pointing out that divide and rule tactics are themselves the tools of hate. Not content with trying to kill migrants on dangerous disease ridden prison ships and breaking international law, I imagine that Suella must have said “thank you God” when the Israeli – Palestinian conflict started. She has been quick to use the war to weaponise her own domestic agendas. It’s even more surprising as Braverman is herself a barrister at No 5 Silk Chambers (better suited to being a barrista). As most observers have stated, Suella’s bizarrely disturbed outlook on foreigners is probably rooted in some very dark experiences in childhood.

The Disney Longstocking prison ship
I had trouble deciding if Robert Jenrick or Lee Anderson ought to be part of our 12 angry Tories.

10. Richard Tice

Of course Tice is not a Tory, just a pound shop racist. Tice recently turned his hatred on Sadiq Kkan and ULEZ in a desperate move to find a new issue to enrage people with feeble minds. Nigel Farage is also searching for things to trigger his remaining following from Gammon Brexit (GB) News. Tice remains angry that he has not got the Brexit he wanted. But he still cannot describe the one he was looking for … No wonder Steve Baker is effectively saying that the referendum should be declared null and void. Tice is angry with the Tory party for being more fascist than his Brexit party aka Reframe UK.

11. Kemi Badenoch

Another PM hopeful, Badenoch has the dubious credentials of having done some of the most worthless Brexit trade deals on the planet via the CPTPP deal (worth 1/50th of what we had in the EU over 10 years at best and pushed through Parliament without a referendum). Although she was appointed by Truss, I suspect that this was Liz acting ‘to keep one’s enemies close’, as Badenoch is also popular with the Tory membership. Rishi has also kept her close, possibly because her nuclear levels of incompetence make Sunak look good. Incidentally, Badenoch stated that the CPTPP deal will only produce any benefit if we use it. So she’s already getting ready to say that the people thwarted her pathetic CPTPP deal.

No 12?

By this time, you may have worked out that there were only 11 angry people in the picture. So who is no 12? – Lee Anderson, Jonathan Gullis, Gove, Iain Duncan-Smith, Mark Francois, Esther McVey, Dehenna Davison, Liam Fox, Keegan, Coffey, Harper, Steve Barclay, the Tory rapists? There are so many to choose from. Usually a threat from outside is the stimulus for unity. Can Keir Starmer provide that threat? I think not since I find it increasingly difficult to find differences on policy between Labour and The Tories in many areas.

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Brexshit

Brexshit Bonus

Yet another Brexit freedom has emerged. We are to be free to dump more shit in our rivers. Previously, we were tethered to those pesky EU standards for clean beaches  and rivers. Read The Guardian article for more details. Rather than levelling up after Brexit, we are quite literally shitting on our own doorstep. Are you still happy about Brexit and its false promises? Planning to swim with your kids in a river of Brexshit with Therese Coffey who points out that “it’s just a bit of poo”. Granted there are many more things to think about at the moment but (a) our Government has turned a blind eye to these and (b) urgency is not a reason to let important standards drop.

Liz Truss Brexshit
Brexshit Broke Britain

I wrote a song which foreshadowed the problem a year ago called Tory Brexit Scum. Check the PG rated video out below.

Tory Brexit Scum – Country and Western Punk Rock : PG rated.

Somewhat coincidentally, Crispin Blunt and Jeremy Hunt feature in the song along with some other rhymes. Jeremy Hunt is rumoured to be about to leave the Tory party before having to face losing his seat. As for Crispin Blunt, time will tell …

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Rishi 2.0

Rishi 2.0

The Tufton Street gang have decided to genetically reformat Rishi Sunak to help him win an election. The ‘battleship grey’ Rishi 1.0 was at least built on the solid foundations of Sunak’s dull technocratic self to calm down politics. Rishi 1.0 had to deal with two crises:

Boris Johnson’s negligent killings of old people via his herd immunity fallacy, his “oven ready Brexit” deal which is burnt to a crisp, gross spaffing of our money on failed vanity projects, a tsunami of cronyism, gross lies and excuses and, of course, the Partygate scandals whilst people were forced to let their loved ones die alone, including the Queen.

Liz Truss’ wilful destruction of the economy in one weekend, adding thousands of pounds per year irreversibly to mortgages, billions to our national debt and a total loss of confidence in the UK plc on the world stage.

Cue Rishi 2.0, the radical reinvention from bland to ‘exciting’. Sunak’s ‘mum’ aka Akshata Murty launched Rishi’s reformatting at the Tory party conference, in order to curry favour from Tory faithful. With support from the warmup act Penny Morduant aka Alana Partridge, who managed the dubious accolade of saying “stand up and fight” 12 times in 80 seconds, although nobody was sure why, who with, when, where or with what.

Rishi 2.0 – What’s in store?

‘Radical Rishi 2.0‘ will be tough on society and tough on the causes of society. Fierce with the 99% of wokeists, leftists, left luggage attendents, left handed bankers, left leaning journalists, centrists, greenies, hippies, commies, liberals, snowflakes, members of the London Assembly, forins, doctors, train drivers, nurses, social workers, teachers, farmers, fishermen, firemen, train drivers, trainspotters, comedians, LGBTQIA+, judges et al. In fact everyone that does not sign up to the Tory fascist agenda. Here are some of the policies which Rishi 2.0 will likely hint at in the coming months, slightly exaggerated for fun. Of course he will actually do nothing about any of them:

Rishi 2.0
Rishi 2.0 Part I.

Running through some of the Rishi 2.0 bullet points above:

On Thursday Sunak aligned himself with Italian fascist Georgia Meloni, to build a desperate consensus around his “Stop the Boats” campaign. However, Brexit Britain will be regarded as international pariahs if we leave the ECHR as a piece of Brexit grandstanding. Twinned with North Korea and Russia.

It sounds frivolous to suggest that model railway company Hornby should run the railways, but clearly a Government that does not know whether the rail link has been built to Manchester airport is not fit to commission rail projects using £ billions of our taxes. The HS2 fiasco has cost £91 billion of taxpayers’ money.

Check out CPC 2023 by clicking on Thomas.

As with Johnson, the devil is in the detail with Sunak. Having announced that HS2 will go to Euston at CPC 2023, the truth is that this will only happen with private investment to build the line from Old Oak Common to Euston. If I were an investor at this point in the cycle I’d not be up for investing in a railway that could be cancelled in a few years’ time after an election.

Rishi 2.0
Rishi 2.0 Part II.

The distraction of a new British educational qualification almost literally concretes over the problems of crumbling schools. Rishi is trying to gaslight us away from the problems of RAAC by introducing the ABS (Absolute Bullshitter Sunak / Advanced British Standard) qualification to replace A and T Levels. You fool no-one Rishi.

RAAC and Roll
Gillian Keegan – concreting over education problems.

Will Rishi cancel the triple lock for pensioners as the new hard man of the Tory party? Time will tell. So far, it is more of the same with Jeremy Hunt targeting the most vulnerable with his next set of cuts. But the pensioners could well be next as a new cash cow. After all, I guess that Lee Anderson would ask what is the point of them being alive if they won’t vote Conservative? In any case, I guess Anderson believes that pensioners can live on 30p a day.

The Times

Levelling up proves to be a project about levelling roads, with 25% of the £36 billion ‘windfall’ from HS2 going to fill potholes. This may help to fill election leaflets in MP constituencies but is hardly a demonstration of Rishi Sunak’s so-called claim of “long term decisions for a brighter future“.

Manchester Evening News

Clearly the Tories love the distraction of XL Bully dogs to stop people thinking of more important matters. Nonetheless I doubt we’ll see The Police employing them to patrol the streets, but anything is possible given recent lies about meat tax and 15 minute cities.

Finally, Robert Jenrick has suggested that we must breed more children to cope with the need for more carers for old people. I imagine that Boris Johnson is ready as CIO (Chief Insemination Officer).

Daily Maul

Will Rishi 2.0 succeed?

Highly doubtful – Tufton Street have no idea about personality change, as they are people without personalities. Leopards and spots etc. Rishi Sunak’s speech to CPC 2023 was pretty much his usual “Blue Peter” style of delivery and the excitement of all the promises has been shown to be a pack of lies within a day. CPC 2023 looked like a wake for a dying brand. I guess Tufton Street could tell Sunak to work on his image rather than his content. Perhaps some pink flashes in his hair, flairs to give him more appeal to youth or at least trousers that reach his ankles? Or maybe a beard to make him look a bit more radical / risky?

Risky Sunak – a dying beard?

You can’t take the bore out of bland

You can’t take the Rishi out of the Sunakered

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The room next door ….

Career opportunities

I stumbled over a job for Medway Council as a Political Assistant to the Conservative Group. The role requires an allegiance to the Tory party but is paid for by taxpayers money. I cannot understand how this can be legal. It’s an outrage. Anyway I made an application. Here are the job basics in blue and my personal statement in purple. What are my chances?

Job Spec

The Conservative Group are looking to recruit a highly motivated individual with exceptional political and communication skills to support its work. You will assist with political issues, suggest potential courses of action and provide evaluation, information and research services as required. You will proactively research policy, liaise with the media, prepare speeches and brief members.

You will need acute political judgement, be able to establish positive working relationships with members and officers, have excellent communication skills and be able to assimilate and analyse information quickly, spotting critical political issues and managing time effectively to ensure deadlines are met. The need to be sympathetic to the aims of the Conservative Party will be essential.

My personal statement

I am committed to Tory fascism and its practical applications in Medway. This makes me ideal for the position. Here are some specific behaviours and projects I would be willing to oversee:
Very happy to watch asylum seekers drown whilst fleeing from terror if it pleases my MP.
I will assist the sitting Tories to recreate Dead Man’s island as an asylum centre.
Delighted to see the rise of food banks in Medway. Lee Anderson is right when he says that people can cook a meal for 30p. Dust is plentiful in the towns and inexpensive.
I think Boris is a good laugh and probably plays a good game of darts. If required I will meet him in the Cooper’s Arms to talk about Winston Churchill, the Dambusters and the failure of Medway to ingratiate itself by becoming a city.

I can spend money without moral justification or a business case. Whilst I’m not up to the Liz Truss, Dido Harding or Boris Johnson nuclear levels of spaffing, I will learn at the feet of the masters in the council. I approved of the utter waste of money for the Japanese roundabout and the Tori.

We will commission a bird clearance society on the Cliffe Peninsula. Birds serve no useful function for the Tories and the removal of the birds will pave the way for Cliffefell – a high rise development on the marshes, built to new Brexit fire standards.
I’m able to come up with meaningless three word chants to distract the masses from anything that might be important.
I would help to see Suella Braverman as the head of social services in Medway and the installation of prison hulks on Rochester Riverside and Chatham Dockside.

I am joining the Masons. You may say it’s too late, but I have ordered an apron on e-bay.

Civil servants are a blight on society. I would ensure that the council workers are publicly humiliated and flogged at the Dockyard for their woke dress sense and other aspects of their scummy hand to mouth existence on a daily basis. This would also serve as a visitor attraction and bring more revenue to the Council.

I have many bags of sovrinty in my loft and will use them to inflate the aspirations of the prevailing Tory MPs who are not so ashamed of themselves that they will still stand for election in 2024.

I once drowned a puppy and felt no emotion. I saw that as a turning point in my emotional resilience, taking my inspiration from Robert Jenrick, Priti Patel and Suella Braverman.

I am not afraid to call Vince Maple and Keith Starmer out for copying us on Brexit. They have no ideas of their own.

Kelly Tolhust is a proper hardcore woman. She’s a dude innit. We should use her to do some cage fighting with the woke Labour Councillors. We should fight them with the biatches. The Green party in Medway are terrified of her and we can organise some Just Stop Oil type people to fight with them as they eat their vegan sandwiches.
We can transform the Dickens’ Festival into an all year round reality event with guidance from the Minister for the 18th Century, Jacob Rees-Mogg. With forced child labour camps in Luton Road, bear-bating in Lordswood and a Scurvy Centre replacing Gillingham Library. Disease keeps the proles occupied and I will ask Rodney Chambers to commission a campaign of releasing rats into lower Gillingham.

I am skilled in painting and decorating and stand ready to paint over any cheery artworks in child care centres and infant schools.
We could turn the Medway Tunnel into a giant refugee concentration centre. If anyone escapes they would find themselves on the Medway City Estate, itself a wasteland. Fun Drum could also be used to contain the immigrant scum.
If needed. I have some Nat C cosplay suits for party conferences and other Tory youth rallies.
I have a collection of German marching tunes on 78 RPM CDs.
I will fashion an Alan Jarrett memorial statue using slave labour from the Medway artist community and erect it at the War Memorial. Art, music and poetry are a blight on the Medway landscape and I would work hard to replace this will statues of Mark Francois and other military figures.
I am comfortable with taking additional wages for doing arms consultancy with Saudi Arabia whilst relaxing at Avenue Tennis Club.

I have many criminal convictions: petty crime, grand fraud, sexual predation and so on as well as general lying and making false promises. I hope these will be an asset to the Tory party.
I hope that’s enough.

p.s. Brexit has failed – 350 000 people agree with me on this.

350 000 plus views in one day and no credible explanations of the benefits of Brexit.

Somewhat fortuitously, Rishi Sunak has just requested a new post of Prime Minister’s Official Deputy Spokesperson and Head of News. I have also applied for this using some of the ideas for the local job. No disrespect to the council but I’d prefer the top job.

No future … at Medway Council.

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Brexit Betrayal

Were you played?

I write this piece directly to leave voters. I ask you the Johnny Rotten question: Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated? This piece of investigative journalism deserves your full attention. I’ve set out some of the main points below, but watch the entire film. You were played by Nigel Farage, Richard Tice, their shady backers and their poster boy Boris Johnson. They took you for fools with well executed lies about fish, the NHS, laws, borders, sovereignty et al. How does it feel to be treated like pawns in a game that you were never part of? You will be paying for Brexit for decades in your pay packets, your freedoms, your health, wealth and happiness. It is time to demand your money back for the illusions of Brexit. Watch and learn how you were played:

The Brexit illusion of sovereignty was just that – an illusion – we could not have had fox hunting, pints, three pin plugs etc. if we were enslaved to a European superstate

The Farage illusion of taking back control of our fish was also an illusion. Many fishing businesses are suffering under Brexit

The Brexit illusion of funding our NHS failed. The £350 million every week never arrived

The Brexit illusion of a United Kingdom failed. Northern Ireland will eventually unite with the Republic of Ireland. Scotland and probably Wales will also leave Brexit Albion

The Brexit illusion of growth failed. Liz Truss’ experiment with Brexonomics took £100 BILLION off the UK balance sheet. You will be paying for this long into the future.

The Brexit illusion of frictionless trade never happened. With food inflation of 15% and a Government fear of implementing border checks lest it leads to food shortages

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48 52 Brexit
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Icberg Strat

Election elephants in the room

The big story from the by-elections this am is a Lib Dem landslide in Somerset and Frome with a 29% swing. Labour also put in a record performance in Selby with the biggest swing recorded for decades. However, the Conservatives surprised everyone by crawling across the finishing line with 495 votes in Uxbridge. Labour say that they achieved this by opposing the extension of the ULEZ scheme, a policy that Boris Johnson originated. However, the Labour candidate in Uxbridge opposed the extension of ULEZ to keep in lockstep with Tory policy on the matter, opposing Sadiq Khan and the entire environmental movement.

Tories voted to kill kids

Someone said that Labour could have won if the Greens had loaned their 700 or so votes in Uxbridge. I think it highly unlikely that Green party members would have loaned their votes given Labour’s capitulation to the Tories on ULEZ, a core issue for Green party voters. This was a victory for people who don’t mind killing children. Given that many young people don’t vote Tory, I can almost imagine the text on Johnson’s WhatsApp messages on his phone “Let the bodies pile high”. Just remember it was Grant Shapps who ordered Sadiq Khan to extend ULEZ.

Vote Tory to kill your kids would have been a more honest electoral slogan.

Ming vase broken

A lack of opposition (Keir Starmer’s so-called Ming vase / ice rink strategy) may not have helped Labour in Uxbridge. Worse still, Labour are asking Sadiq Khan to roll back his ULEZ initiative which affects one in 10 cars in London. Climate denial is not the answer and capitulating to swivel headed loons worse. Sure more help needs to be given to affected people to do the right thing, but this is Tory policy rather than Sadiq Khan’s decision.

I was ambivalent about Labour, as I am a realist but their recent position on climate change has turned me from ambivalence to opposition. Not content with running my kids socio economic futures with brexit, they are now chasing the far right climate denial bus ….

Brexit’s Breaking Britain

Brexit remained the elephant in the room at the by elections. No one discussed it, yet it is at the root of most of our lived experiences in Britain as depicted by the iceberg below. By extension, a lack of opposition on Brexit and the products of Brexit (cost of living, NHS crisis and so on) may well come to bite Labour on their collective bottoms. It’s entirely feasible that a lack of opposition on child benefit by Labour may also have played into the overall result in Uxbridge.

The Brexit Iceberg
The Brexit Iceberg connects front of mind issues with their underlying roots.

Approximately 2500 votes when to other parties such as Lawrence Fox, other far right parties and some anti-ULEZ parties. I don’t buy the argument that these far right votes would have gone to Labour if these parties had not split the vote. The lesson for Labour here is clear:

Oppose

Oppose

Oppose

Tell the truth

I have just listened to Daisy Cooper refusing to answer a simple question on Brexit on BBC Radio 4. In conversation with senior figures such as Sal Briton and Irina von Weise, we agreed that the Lib Dems need a clear USP on Brexit rather than a mealy mouthed apology (we’ll join when the time is right, yada, yada). Nick Robinson just savaged Cooper live on this point who replied with a word salad of internationalism, environmentalism etc. This is why I’m backing Gina Miller and The True and Fair Party.

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Brexorcisms work

To those that tell me that the electorate are stupid and we can’t talk to them about uncomfortable truths such as Brexit, climate disaster, asylum seekers and so on I say horsehit. But we must hold these difficult conversations in a skillful way. Quite why I wrote a book on the gentle art of Brexorcism based on therapeutic interventions supported by psychology and anthropology. A Brexorcism takes skill, patience and time but I have 1000’s of hours experience in changing minds on Brexit. The approach applies just as much to other difficult issues. Labour and Lib Dems ought to be in the business of confronting racists, climate deniers and so on rather than chasing their votes.

Support mass Brexorcisms

Nonetheless, however many Tories attempt to spin the election results, it is a crushing defeat for Rishi Sunakered. We have not yet seen the outfall of this shocking result. No doubt Nadine Dorries, Liz Truss, Kemi Bad Enoch Powell and Penny Morduant will be sharpening their claws. John West sums up the outcome:

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The Brexit Iceberg

Promises, promises

To complement our article Hard Facts about Brexit, this article explores some softer facts about Brexit around Rishi Sunak’s five promises now relabelled five priorities, soon to be called five phantasmagorical illusions.  I’m defining hard facts as things having numerical values such as the recent revelation that only 18% of the British population think that Brexit was a good idea.  Still some cling on to the promise of cheaper training shoes the year by 2066. Soft facts are no less important but they inhabit the less quantifiable world.  Robert McNamara pointed out the value of things we cannot easily measure in his famous statement which came to be known as the McNamara Fallacy:

Click to read more on this.

Immigration can be fixed

Rishi Sunak has amped up the Stop the Boats campaign in order to keep BIR (Brexit Inspired Racism) alive in Britain. Undeterred by a decisive judgement that the Rwanda scheme is immoral, indecent and illegal, Rishi has no place to go other than to waste more of your money taking the decision to a higher court.

Rishi disagrees with the rule of law. Integrity in the dustbin.

Before Rishi’s Stop the Boats campaign, less than 10% of British people cared about immigration. Research from UK in a Changing Europe suggests that Ukraine changed attitudes to migration along with staff shortages due to the exodus of European migrant workers after Brexit. As with many things in public life, perception beats reality. People seem to believe that Brexit solved the problem of migrants, despite there being record numbers of migrants after Brexit.  It’s almost as though Brexit popped a festering boil called migration and now people think we are pimple free. Accordingly, the Tories moved into the tight corner of hardcore racism, by demonising people in boats who are forced to live in hotels by the Government, because the Government refuses to allow them to work. The problem with immigration is three-fold:

1. We have not provided safe routes for asylum seekers.

2. The Home office is hopelessly unable to process those arriving.

3. Our government insists on incarcerating all people seeking asylum in hotels and on boats when the vast majority could become productive members of society who pay taxes. Naturally this antagonises people with feeble minds who don’t understand that this is a deliberate choice by Rishi Sunak.

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God’s waiting room

Even Tory party majorette Laura Kuenssberg questioned the veracity of Rishi Sunak’s claims that NHS waiting lists are falling. Patently they are NOT. It is a dirty LIE. Granted that Sunak said that people waiting two years for treatment are not waiting now. Some of them are dead …

That’s quite a charge ….

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Halving inflation

Sunak may well be able to halve inflation. He needs to do this by early 2024 if there if to be a mini bounce prior to an election. Here is little Rishi’s strategy:

Sunak refuses to negotiate with nurses, doctors, train drivers, public servants yada yada even though public service pay rises do not contribute to inflation. But he manages the perception that he is being tough by doing this.

Little Rishi is instead loading the costs on first time buyers and people with mortgages who may have their houses repossessed. Of course, destitute people don’t contribute much to inflation. Dead people are even better, as they are a net tax input to the treasury.

Food inflation continues but people cannot afford to eat, so that problem is solved.

Fuel inflation is now largely baked into Rishi’s spreadsheet so he may get lucky here. But luck is not a strategy.

That said, inflation control is proving to be stubborn and reaching 5% may well prove impossible unless luck kicks in.

Five promises now five priorities, aka five lies.

Reducing debt

Rishi’s promise aka priority in this area is once again typically vague. When 0.1% came off inflation 10% Rishi claimed a victory. For someone skilled in counting (his own) money. this is a fatal maths error !!! Thanks to Brexit we have record levels of national debt so any decrease would also be hailed as a great success. Truss wiped an uncool £70 000 000 000 off of the value of UK plc thanks to her Kamikaze budget in her experiment in hard Brexit economics. The Tory Fiscal cliff is now unprecedented and the root cause is 13 years of Tory mismanagement and hobby projects such as Brexit which have lowered our resilience to other global effects such as the pandemic and the Russian war on Ukraine.

The Golden Growth Goose

Rishi must, of course, be seen to have a go at growth, per his predecessor Liz Truss.  This is why he recently suggested that Britain would be an area of low or no regulation re AI.  He plans to fight America and Europe in the gold rush for jobs in AI … except that this is the war of the worlds scenario that leads to our extinction. See my articles and book on AI and humanity.

Apart from anything else, Britain does not have a workforce of highly skilled people, with many having left the country due to Brexit.  His desperate attempt to hire gardeners and OAPs to do dentistry is at the root of his problems.

Going for growth is also problematic at an ethical level.  Producing more stuff in a world that needs and wants less stuff is morally bankrupt.  We are seeing an end of days strategy from a weak Prime Minister, devoid of ideas, support and soft power in the world.

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Banish Boris

We just made this film with Faux Bojo in which he makes it clear that he wants to you sign his petition whilst also asking you NOT to sign the petition. Once you have NOT signed it, please share it. Then don’t share it – it’s perfectly clear really? !:(*^%?? Here’s the conclusion of the Select Committee report to help you decide to sign the petition or not. We are touring the UK to spread the message, starting in Clacton on Sea on Thursday. Please support our project to help put Brexit and Boris into deep freeze.

Dualism in action.

The question which the House asked the Committee is whether the House had been misled by Mr Johnson and, if so, whether that conduct amounted to contempt. It is for the House to decide whether it agrees with the Committee. The House as a whole makes that decision. Motions arising from reports from this Committee are debatable and amendable.

The Committee had provisionally concluded that Mr Johnson deliberately misled the House and should be sanctioned for it by being suspended for a period that would trigger the provisions of the Recall of MPs Act 2015. In light of Mr Johnson’s conduct in committing a further contempt on 9 June 2023, the Committee now considers that if Mr Johnson were still a Member he should be suspended from the service of the House for 90 days for repeated contempts and for seeking to undermine the parliamentary process, by:

a) Deliberately misleading the House

b) Deliberately misleading the Committee

c) Breaching confidence

d) Impugning the Committee and thereby undermining the democratic process of the House

e) Being complicit in the campaign of abuse and attempted intimidation of the Committee.

We recommend that he should not be entitled to a former Member’s pass, (or Blockbuster video card – added by the author).

Petition
Sign the petition by clicking the image.
The good old days
The wonderful work of James Rowland, one of our activists.

Read more : Johnson’s Revenge

Read more : Go Nads

Boris Johnson in the stocks

Gammonite Balderdash News

Our weekly update from Brexit Balderdash de-Bunker Don Adamson from his Brexit Bunker buried in Barnsley. Don takes on GB News aka Gammon Balderdash News this week.

This week’s homework: 

One. Discuss the following statement – Daily Vile has made large numbers of staff redundant, Torygraph has called in the receivers, fewer and fewer people are watching Gammonite Balderdash News Cur James Dyson, Nigel Garbage, Dim Tim Wetherspoon, Ann Widdecombe. Rachel Johnson (sister of Satan’s Deputy) and 66% of Daily Express readers have stated that Brexit has gone horribly wrong. Meanwhile Keith Starmer insists he can ‘make Brexit work’ despite all the evidence to the contrary. Starmer is, essentially, giving us the same deceit and hypocrisy that Neo Nazi Tories and far left Trade Unionists have been giving us for years. Can Keith Starmer do what Neo Nazi Tories have failed to do?

Two: ‘Men without honour and women without virtue’ is a disparaging comment that has fallen into disuse because it is nowadays considered politically incorrect. For all that it may be out of step with the times it is a profoundly accurate way to describe the people who have inflicted this Brexit FUBAR on us. This is a good time for Johnson to go. He can quit politics secure in the knowledge that Keith Starmer is as hell bent on doing a Brexit FUBAR as the Tories are hell bent on doing a Brexit FUBAR. Tories got us into this mess by making promises they could not keep. Keith Starmer says he can get us out of this mess by repeating the same promises even though he knows full well that that these are promises that nobody can keep. In what way are Labour Party promises they cannot keep better than Tory Party promises they cannot keep? In what way is a Labour Party Brexit FUBAR better than a Tory Party Brexit FUBAR? In what way are Labour Party Brexit masturbation fantasies better than Tory Party Brexit masturbation fantasies? Why are we stuck with a ruling class that is hell bent on doing a FUBAR? 

Read Hard Labour

Three: In the language that Gammons, Flagshaggers and Tories speak the term ‘Move on’ is a euphemism for ‘Allow crimes to go unpunished.’ Why are Gammons, Flagshaggers and Tories so anxious to let crimes go unpunished? Similarly: Love Americans or hate those at least Federal Prosecutors have the brains, courage and decency to bring charges against Trump. Why is it that British prosecutors lack any kind of brains, courage and decency? 

Four: Torygraph has gone into receivership. Elon Musk has expressed an interest in buying it. Will this make the Torygraph more of a pack of lies or less of a pack of lies? 

Telegraph
The Torygraph. Return to sender. Click to read more.

Five. Rachel Johnson (sister of Satan’s Deputy). Recently commented that apart from Brexit and the Pandemic her adored brother got everything right. For the last three years Gammons and Flagshaggers have been telling us that they ‘Got the big calls right.’ Do we now understand that Brexit and the Pandemic are otherwise than ‘the big calls?’ 

Boris Johnson in the stocks
Boris Johnson in the stocks – Image by the brilliant James Rowland.

Read Brexit has failed

This week’s quotes: 

Fraud

Richy Scumbag’s new ‘anti fraud champion’ Antony Brown…. accepted £5,000 … from Jeffrey Archer – one of the most notorious frauds in British political history…. Polyco Healthline’s Covid record … supplying more than a million counterfeit masks … bagged profits of £40M last year… Blame Matt Hancock … everything is his fault. We always knew that he was a useless idiot; which is why we made him health secretary…

Sexual harassment 

How did Nadine Dorries react when Johnson was accused of covering up repeated incidents of sexual harassment by Tory Whip Chris Pincher … Dorries defends Johnson … a man who thinks he is above the law and the standards the rest of us are held to… Rape has long had the lowest charging rate of all crimes…. in recent years a precipitous drop in the number of cases that make it to court … reports of rape have increased exponentially … 

Last year a senior Daily Mail journalist … sacked after sexual investigation with junior trainee … pontificating of one pundit left colleagues gobsmacked  … propensity for harassing junior male staff … resulted in staff leaving with payouts … 

Sue Ellen Braverman’s speeding ticket 

… Grease Bogg laughed off questions about whether he speeds … message from corridors of power is that speeding is something that everybody does … provisional  statistics for 2022 reveal 136,000 road casualties including 1,659 deaths … 

We need a new industrial revolution 

Can Labour provide one? … Manufacturing peaked across G7 countries in the mid 1960s …our political elites did deindustrialisation long and hard … manufacturing in Germany and Japan contribute 20% and 17% … in Britain 9.7% … we have the smallest manufacturing sector in the G7 and is shrinking the fastest … restricted the UK’s ability to haul itself out of recession … only a productivity miracle will provide an escape hatch … too small to drive an economic turnaround … there are solutions but none of them have the slightest chance of boosting UK to pole position within 5 years … the easiest way to achieve Labour’s growth target would be to boost inward immigration beyond the already all time high … the deindustrialisation mania of the 1980s and 1990s left us strategically insecure … learning must begin with frank admission of what we do not know … 

Keith Starmer’s attempt to win over Daily Express readers by nailing his colours to threadbare Brexit flag

… Starmer accused the EU of stealing our dinner money on the basis of a Brexit that he voted for … Express readers cynical about attempt to win them round…  at event in Ely not one person thought Brexit was going well … Brexit is the worst act of self harm in the world’s development … direction of opinion polls is all one way at the moment …  timing of Keith Starmer’s article … adamantly sticking to his ‘make Brexit work’ approach all the more baffling … reality has caught up with Johnson lies and Nigel Garbage fantasies … ‘Christ! This is worse than anybody expected’ … Keith Starmer promises the ‘highest sustained growth in the G7 … not going to happen until we fix the damage Brexit has done … 

Read Myths and Riffs of Brexit

Johnson 

… resignation honours always pretty dodgy … Thick Lizzie’s list has also been put on definite hold… prospect of Johnson’s unredacted WhatsApp messages being submitted as evidence to Covid enquiry is causing terror in the Cabinet Office … it is difficult to find ways to satirise this stuff … it would seem that whatever Johnson has just submitted is at least as damaging to his successors as it is to him… Schofield had an affair and lied about it … so did Johnson … Johnson lied about far more consequential things … Schofield is disgraced former TV presenter … why is Johnson never the disgraced former PM? … Schofield is a ruined, broken man … Johnson broke a country … plays the media like a fiddle, gets taxpayer to fund huge legal bills … buys a £4M house for cash …. Fights to put donors in the House of Lords…

Rupert Murdoch’s summer party 

Keen to demonstrate he is still breathing … dilemma for Keith Starmer … keen to ingratiate himself with Murdoch … also reluctant to alienate his natural base … 

Andrew Bridgen

… kicked out of Tory Party … sole Reclaim MP … predicted other Tories would be won over by Laurence Pox …remain in splendid isolation … Tories so unpopular people will vote for anybody who is not Tory … 

John Simpson 

BBC world affairs correspondent for 35 years … criticised BBC for giving too much air time to Brexiters … powers want the viewers to see him as little as possible…

Australia / NZ trade deals

… negligible contribution to British economy … not a good deal for the UK … gave far too much away for too little… 

National Conservatives

Knew their name would be abbreviated to NatCees and did it on purpose … human breach of the Ministerial Code Sue Ellen Braverman… 

Suella Braverman Priti Patel
Do you support killing children? Suella and Priti do.

Pandemic 

We are not ready for the next pandemic … Arcturus is the  latest variant of Covid 19 …surged across India …detected in more than 30 countries … pathogen is still mutating …We cannot afford to drop our guard … 227,000 fatalities recorded in Britain to date … compare to 454,000 Brits killed in WW2 …  twice the toll of the virus but over six years not three … Lady Hallett’s inquiry … reported as Westminster soap opera … Richy Scumbag might reflect on Richard Nixon  … reluctance to hand over tapes led to impeachment … For PM who promised ‘integrity, professionalism and accountability to make himself vulnerable to charge of cover up is madness … preparations for a future pandemic are in a wretched state … when not if … we are not ready … infrastructure developed during the crisis is being dismantled or defunded … deliberate government policy … Westminster recrimination and desperate Tory infighting … 

Covid 19 inquiry 

Commissions in other countries finished their reports…. In complexity, political sensitivity…. only Chilcott Iraq inquiry  compares … most sensational hearings will come Autumn 2023 … focus on Johnson and his inner circle …’why did you skip five meetings …. did you really suggests you should be injected with Covid on TV … obtaining evidence has become a circus … Witness statements patchy and late … silence and obfuscation … Inquiry is still in the dark … Britain was led into a crisis by an inadequate and distracted PM …

Richy Scumbag 

Setting up a public enquiry then withholding evidence looks like an admission of guilt … Scumbag’s approval ratings at -21 point (20 points worse than Keith Starmer’s) … Scumbag accepted that his election defeat is inevitable … what is happening in Scumbag’s government is so ill thought-through that it is hard to believe that a clever Goldman Sachs man is in charge … furlough loans … undue generosity to fake businesses that have since disappeared … no hope of being repaid … Tory party riven with divides for decades … Scumbag as reluctant as his predecessors to confront them … striving to keep far right Sue Ellen Braverman lovers sweet, while attempting to please more moderate Tories … grandstanding … not impressive … other European countries benefitting hugely … another Brexit ‘freedom’ that is damaging … glaring evidence that government takes a blinkered view ….dogmatic approach leads government in indefensible positions … selfish … short-sighted … if Tories sneak an election victory … he will find himself confronting the same problems, only even more deep seated … sound bites will have vanished along with the hopes they promised … Scumbag does not look like a man in charge … increasingly looks like one leaving after the next election for comfortable life in Santa Monica … 

Economists wring their hands over seaside towns 

Metropolitan politicians fret (their inhabitants were likeliest to vote for Brexit) … ‘Good Lord! This is ghastly?’ … populist tides that resulted in Brexit swelling in eastern coastal towns … fertile soil for resentment based cause … 

Join us in Clacton next Thu 22 June

Pip Pip             Don Adamson Medway Delta (Retired)                       Brexorcist and Saboteur First Class 

The Daily Maul

Brexit Boom & BUSST

Our latest edition of the Daily Maul covers the massive litter tray of dead cats generated by Boris Johnson, Liz Truss, Rishi Sunakered and Nadine Dorries. This in the wake of Johnson’s long overdue fall from grace for killing 30 000 people unnecessarily and giving us an oven burned bungled Brexit. Please see our fact and fiction checker to tell the difference between facts and fictions in our edition of the Maul. Grab a copy of Private Eyelines for more of this stuff. Fight fascism with satire – the one thing they cannot take away from us.

The Daily Maul
Click on a dead cat to read Private Eyelines.

HARD FACTS

FACT : Liz Truss went on GB News (Gammon Balderdash News) last night, appearing to forget that she supported Remain in 2016. Her parents have disowned her. The kids must be next. Although she has not formed the BUSS (Boris-Truss) party, stranger things have happened. The Truss is out on manoeuvres to kill little Rishi Sunak along with Mad Nads and some other Tories.

Truss amnesia.

FACT : Boris Johnson was found guilty of lying repeatedly by a committee comprised mainly of his own party members. No amount of gaslighting or dead cattery can cover this up. Read the Select Committee report.

FACT : Boris Johnson started new job as Daily Mail columnist the day after the Select Committee (aka Kangaroo court) report found he lied repeatedly to Parliament. They have clearly picked the right man to lie for them. This itself is another breach of the Ministerial Code. His first report concerns the vitally unimportant fact that he takes drugs to stop him raiding the fridge at night for cheese and chorizo. He needs really to take drugs to stop his infatuation with fridges …

The Daily Maul
The real Daily Maul. Click to read the satire version.

FACT : Boom and Brexit Busted : Mark Carnage reports on Brexit Carnage and its effects on inflation in the Telegraph. YES, the Telegraph !! There was no Boris Brexit Boom. Carney was former Bank of England chief.

Click on the image to read the ‘Telegravda’.



FACT : Jacob Rees-Mogg and the other few remaining nutters on the deck of the SS Brexit are now calling for the removal of our sovereignty. Sovereignty was the very thing that they said we had to have back as the main reason for Brexit. This by the genius Cold War Steve:

Click to see Cold War Steve’s work.

FACT : Rishi Sunak has resorted to wearing brown boots that are nearly bigger than his torso in order to look like a ‘hard man’. Caught smiling on camera whilst the police raided a home yesterday in the traditional racist smirk pioneered by Priti Patel and gold-plated by Suella Braverman.

Sunakered
Behind a painted smile ….

Click to stop Johnson’s honour’s list

PULP FICTION

FICTION : The Truss and Johnson have not formed a new political party or had political intercourse, as far as we know.

FICTION : RIshi Sunak’s brown boots have not made him more or less racist. Just the standard amount or racism. Nor has little Rishi lost 3 inches in stature whilst playing Call of Duty. It was Liz Truss who was the shortest (lived) Prime Minister in history as this clip from James O’Brien on LBC shows.

FICTION : As far as we know, Boris Johnson has not ordered Carrie to deliver a new baby on Monday as a distraction when Parliament vote to accept the Select Committee report. Nor has Nadine Dorris moved back into nursing, or delivered a Cesarian section. However, if I were Carrie, I would not let Mad Nads near her.

From Mad Nad’s attic – the wonderful work of Cold War Steve.

Future directions for activism

Our efforts must now concentrate on four areas:

Changing Labour’s attitude to Brexit. See Hard Labour.

Continuing to move the dial in leave voters’ minds. See Strategies for Brexorcism.

Picking Remainers who are suffering from learned helplessness up off the floor. See Scottish Bylines.

Making the case for Rejoin more vigorously. See Strategies to Rejoin the EU.

Read Scottish Bylines

Read more : Go Nads

Read more : Brexit and geopolitics

Join us at BBC Question Time in Clacton Thu 22 June.
Live pictures from the Select Committee as taken by Nadine Dorries.