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Elephant

The elephant in the room

We are now registered as an independent candidate in Gillingham and Rainham for the General Election. Our aims are two fold:

  1. To split the Tory vote there and allow the tactical candidate to win.
  2. To make sure that the Brexit elephant in the room remains in on the cabinet table for the next Government to deal with.

We desperately need another £500 of support to fund our leaflet campaign for 70 000 people in the area. Please back us here.

The Brexit Elephant in the room.

Find our press release, our leaflet and a 250 word local press release below:

Peter Cook, Independent

Peter is a self-made Medway-born business-person and professional speaker, from Gillingham. He is standing Stan the cat for election, on the basis that it could do no worse than Rehman ‘n’ Rishi. Although this sounds mad, Peter is deadly serious about the need for a better Medway and better politics.  Peter’s policies include:

  • Expand the Medway Tunnel for bicycle and pedestrian use, to boost the Medway economy.
  • End Brexit chaos. Apply to Rejoin the EU, to reclaim our seat at the top table, improve trade and our place in the world. Brexit created 4.5% GDP loss to Britain. Our cost of living crisis has its roots in Brexit, like trying to swim the channel with a 4.5kg block of concrete around your neck. We cannot grow Britain without addressing the Brexit elephant (cat) in the room.
  • Restore broken Medway communities. No new houses without infrastructure: doctors; schools; hubs; pubs etc. Rethink town centres, rather than letting them wither.
  • Prosecute criminal MPs and water companies. Justice for Post Office workers, contaminated blood victims, WASPI women etc.
  • Convert the Great Lines to a giant litter tray … oh wait a minute, they already are … let’s green and clean up our towns instead.

Vote for Peter if you are fed up with political incompetence and incontinence, just fed up with politics and politicians in general, or think Britain needs a reboot. As an independent, I have no party to serve, just people who deserve a better Medway.

Manifesto www.brexitrage.com/cats

We need a canvassing team next. I am organising a speakeasy meeting at “UCAT HQ” this coming Tuesday at the Frog and Toad in Gillingham from 7 pm and another on Wednesday, the Mackland Arms in Rainham from 7 pm and the 12 Degrees in Rochester Thursday 20th June from 7 pm.

Frog and Toad 11 June

Mackland Arms 12 June

12 Degrees 20 June

There’s not a lot of love for Rehman Chishti in my area. See these comments from his facebook page:

GO CAT
UCAT
The wonderful work of James Rowland. Click on the cat to back Stan.
The Brexit Elephant in the room
Stan versus Goliath. Click the QR code to back Stan.

Career opportunities

I stumbled over a job for Medway Council as a Political Assistant to the Conservative Group. The role requires an allegiance to the Tory party but is paid for by taxpayers money. I cannot understand how this can be legal. It’s an outrage. Anyway I made an application. Here are the job basics in blue and my personal statement in purple. What are my chances?

Job Spec

The Conservative Group are looking to recruit a highly motivated individual with exceptional political and communication skills to support its work. You will assist with political issues, suggest potential courses of action and provide evaluation, information and research services as required. You will proactively research policy, liaise with the media, prepare speeches and brief members.

You will need acute political judgement, be able to establish positive working relationships with members and officers, have excellent communication skills and be able to assimilate and analyse information quickly, spotting critical political issues and managing time effectively to ensure deadlines are met. The need to be sympathetic to the aims of the Conservative Party will be essential.

My personal statement

I am committed to Tory fascism and its practical applications in Medway. This makes me ideal for the position. Here are some specific behaviours and projects I would be willing to oversee:
Very happy to watch asylum seekers drown whilst fleeing from terror if it pleases my MP.
I will assist the sitting Tories to recreate Dead Man’s island as an asylum centre.
Delighted to see the rise of food banks in Medway. Lee Anderson is right when he says that people can cook a meal for 30p. Dust is plentiful in the towns and inexpensive.
I think Boris is a good laugh and probably plays a good game of darts. If required I will meet him in the Cooper’s Arms to talk about Winston Churchill, the Dambusters and the failure of Medway to ingratiate itself by becoming a city.

I can spend money without moral justification or a business case. Whilst I’m not up to the Liz Truss, Dido Harding or Boris Johnson nuclear levels of spaffing, I will learn at the feet of the masters in the council. I approved of the utter waste of money for the Japanese roundabout and the Tori.

We will commission a bird clearance society on the Cliffe Peninsula. Birds serve no useful function for the Tories and the removal of the birds will pave the way for Cliffefell – a high rise development on the marshes, built to new Brexit fire standards.
I’m able to come up with meaningless three word chants to distract the masses from anything that might be important.
I would help to see Suella Braverman as the head of social services in Medway and the installation of prison hulks on Rochester Riverside and Chatham Dockside.

I am joining the Masons. You may say it’s too late, but I have ordered an apron on e-bay.

Civil servants are a blight on society. I would ensure that the council workers are publicly humiliated and flogged at the Dockyard for their woke dress sense and other aspects of their scummy hand to mouth existence on a daily basis. This would also serve as a visitor attraction and bring more revenue to the Council.

I have many bags of sovrinty in my loft and will use them to inflate the aspirations of the prevailing Tory MPs who are not so ashamed of themselves that they will still stand for election in 2024.

I once drowned a puppy and felt no emotion. I saw that as a turning point in my emotional resilience, taking my inspiration from Robert Jenrick, Priti Patel and Suella Braverman.

I am not afraid to call Vince Maple and Keith Starmer out for copying us on Brexit. They have no ideas of their own.

Kelly Tolhust is a proper hardcore woman. She’s a dude innit. We should use her to do some cage fighting with the woke Labour Councillors. We should fight them with the biatches. The Green party in Medway are terrified of her and we can organise some Just Stop Oil type people to fight with them as they eat their vegan sandwiches.
We can transform the Dickens’ Festival into an all year round reality event with guidance from the Minister for the 18th Century, Jacob Rees-Mogg. With forced child labour camps in Luton Road, bear-bating in Lordswood and a Scurvy Centre replacing Gillingham Library. Disease keeps the proles occupied and I will ask Rodney Chambers to commission a campaign of releasing rats into lower Gillingham.

I am skilled in painting and decorating and stand ready to paint over any cheery artworks in child care centres and infant schools.
We could turn the Medway Tunnel into a giant refugee concentration centre. If anyone escapes they would find themselves on the Medway City Estate, itself a wasteland. Fun Drum could also be used to contain the immigrant scum.
If needed. I have some Nat C cosplay suits for party conferences and other Tory youth rallies.
I have a collection of German marching tunes on 78 RPM CDs.
I will fashion an Alan Jarrett memorial statue using slave labour from the Medway artist community and erect it at the War Memorial. Art, music and poetry are a blight on the Medway landscape and I would work hard to replace this will statues of Mark Francois and other military figures.
I am comfortable with taking additional wages for doing arms consultancy with Saudi Arabia whilst relaxing at Avenue Tennis Club.

I have many criminal convictions: petty crime, grand fraud, sexual predation and so on as well as general lying and making false promises. I hope these will be an asset to the Tory party.
I hope that’s enough.

p.s. Brexit has failed – 350 000 people agree with me on this.

350 000 plus views in one day and no credible explanations of the benefits of Brexit.

Somewhat fortuitously, Rishi Sunak has just requested a new post of Prime Minister’s Official Deputy Spokesperson and Head of News. I have also applied for this using some of the ideas for the local job. No disrespect to the council but I’d prefer the top job.

No future … at Medway Council.

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