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Every breath he takes

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I’m gonna leave old Durham Town … to check my eyesight – 06 July

The “B*llocks to Brexit” Mini Cooper known as “Johnson” is making an unprecedented historic trip to Durham under strict COVID-safe conditions, so that the driver can get his eyesight checked by taking an excursion to Barnard Castle for his wife’s birthday and stopping at a few beauty spots.  The trip, inspired by Dominic Cummings, has been arranged by EU Flag Mafia in conjunction with Rage Against The Brexit Machine, to highlight the problems of adding Corona crisis to Brexit disaster, creating a “Britastrophe”. 

11% loss in GDP from Corona, when added to 9% predicted loss from Brexit will make an exponential impact on jobs, lives and livelihoods of people in Britain.  Johnson the Mini will make the journey in order to wake people up to the oncoming economic and social tsunami.  We only needed 3.5% GDP loss to create the 2008 crash.  Corona is a natural born crisis and we must endure it.  However, we don’t need to add the man-made Brexit disaster to the mix.

A close up of a sign Description automatically generated

“Johnson’s driver” Peter Cook is taking a four-year-old baby “Bobo” on this historic journey.  Bobo has promised not to urinate for the entire trip, although the Mini will be making stops in Rugby, Manchester, North Yorkshire and Newcastle, also taking in Southampton, Dorset, Wiltshire and Kent in the coming weeks.  For Baby Bobo, it is a UST (Urination Stamina Test).

“Rules are rules and we must stick to them for everyone’s safety, even if Johnson, Cummings, Farage, Jenrick, Half Cock Handcock and Papa Bojo choose not to”

The last time “Johnson” made an appearance on Britain’s roads, we were stopped by an Essex Traffic Policeman Smith, in a rage on the M25 motorway.  PC Smith asked us to remove the signage on the car on the hard shoulder of the M25, putting the police officer and the passengers at risk of death.  We are hoping to return to Essex to meet PC Smith for a cuppa.  Smith has not been located by Essex Police some 8 months after we provided his full details to the force …

EU Flag Mafia are hoping that “Dick and Dom” aka Boris and Dominic will hear our call that this is the worst time to take Brexit out of the microwave.  If they checked their eyesight, they would now realise that there is a substantial gap in the will of the people, with nearly a ten-point gap of people now wishing to remain a member of the EU.  All that is needed is courage and political will to change the oncoming “Britastrophe”.  

“We must re-boot Britain in the wake of Corona.  It’s time for our leaders to show true courage and take a bold move to build, build, build a Better Britain in a Better Europe for a Better World.  To this end I have formed an unpolitical party to end all political parties.  It’s time we had leaders that we could look up to and trust.  Our movement is designed to help achieve that.  I’m proud to work with EU Flag mafia to help put the great back in Britain.

Peter Cook

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p.s.  We have just received a request to take “Johnson” to Greece to check our eyesight, via Bulgaria.  We are just checking the logistics of the trip, although all seems well, since Stanley Johnson recently made a similar pilgrimage to check on a holiday let.

For an exclusive interview on our “Unprecedented Ocular Pilgrimage” around the UK, please contact Peter Cook, Brexorcist in Chief on 07725 927585 peter@academy-of-rock.co.uk

If you like this article, please support us with a regular donation via GoFundMe or Patreon. Give us a tip via Paypal. We need support to continue doing this. It takes considerable time. Thank you in advance.

Read our book on Brexorcism

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Later with Jools Holland

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Today we visited Cooling Castle, home of Jools Holland with the Bollocks to Brexit Mini Cooper. Here is a report from our resident maritime consultant and Brexit sea dog Don.

I arrived at the rendezvous at 5 bells in the Afternoon Watch. That is 14.30 for landlubbers and when the big hand is on the six and the little hand is on the two for Gammons and Tories. My fellow Saboteurs came separately. For those who have not been paying attention “Saboteur” is the term of derision that Gammons and Tories chose to refer to decent people who oppose Brexit. The term quickly fell out of favour in Gammon and Tory circles when we pointed out that “Saboteur” was what Vichyites called the French Resistance. Comparing me to the French Resistance is about the nicest thing anybody ever said about me. I took it as a compliment: Vive les Saboteurs! “Vive la Resistance” Merde a Brexit!

The Bulwarks to Brexitmobile led the convoy and we drove around the environs. We set up a stall in Gillingham High Street near the church and our musical director set up his gear and serenaded us with anti-Brexit music. I chose a spot where I could keep a look out for Gammons, Tories and nobbled coppers. We did not hand out leaflets for social distancing reasons. I saw somebody advance purposefully towards our musical director. I thought I might be needed but I did the newcomer an injustice. He wanted to get involved. Took a couple of our flags and joined in the fun.

Nigel Farage’s Garage – one of the songs we performed on the street

A few people gave filthy looks and made vulgar gestures then moved on quickly. For the most part people were supportive, gave the thumbs up and wanted to photograph us. After a while we set off for Rochester. It was much the same there. Some people walked off pointedly refusing to look at us while others gave the thumbs up. By this time my old knee injury was playing up so I decided to call it a day. I can walk for miles and feel better for it but standing around plays havoc with my old injuries.

People in Ashford are unhappy about recent developments. It has sunk in that Brexit is going to cause delays at Customs so this hopeless inept government is setting up a huge lorry park for stranded trade vehicles. The site had been chosen for a new Amazon facility that would have provided employment. Instead they are going to get trucks belching diesel fumes because the drivers will need to run the engines to keep refrigeration plants working. That will not improve the atmosphere at all. This is not the earthly paradise that the people of East Kent thought they would get when they voted for Brexit.

The Brexit Mindset summed up

Tomorrow we go to Tunbridge Wells on a circular tour starting at 11.00:

Route will include London Rd, High St, Sainsbury car park, Mt Pleasant, Town Hall,  Monson Rd, Camden Rd, Powdermill Lane, Southboro High St. Then back down St John’s Rd, Mt Ephraim Rd, brief stop at Victoria Place, back up Lime Hill to London Rd.

There remains a possibility to visit Hythe and East Kent later on tomorrow.

If you like this article, please support us with a regular donation via GoFundMe or Patreon. Give us a tip via Paypal. We need support to continue doing this. It takes considerable time. Thank you in advance.

Read our book on Brexorcism

Support us by downloading our music on Bandcamp

Join us every Monday at 8 pm to Re-Boot Britain

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Cummings Road Trip for eyesight tests

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Here are the details of our marathon road trip from Islington to Old Durham Town … in the B*llocks to Brexit Mini. Please support the venture via Go Fund Me.

PRESS RELEASE

I’m gonna leave old Durham Town … to check my eyesight

The “B*llocks to Brexit” Mini Cooper known as “Johnson” is making an unprecedented historic trip from Dominic Cummings house in Islington to Durham under strict COVID-safe conditions, so that the driver Peter Cook can get his eyesight checked.  Peter is taking the excursion from Islington to Barnard Castle for his wife’s birthday and will be stopping at a few beauty spots along the way.  The trip, inspired by Dominic Cummings, has been arranged by EU Flag Mafia in conjunction with Rage Against The Brexit Machine, to highlight the problems of adding Corona crisis to Brexit disaster, creating a “Britastrophe”.  We will be performing songs from our catalogue of anti-Brexit songs, including ‘Alo Vera – Brexit’s Comin’ ‘Ome and a Chas & Dave Cockney Brexit Knees Up.

11% loss in GDP from Corona, when added to 9% predicted loss from Brexit will make an exponential impact on jobs, lives and livelihoods of people in Britain.  Johnson the Mini will make the journey in order to wake people up to the oncoming economic and social tsunami.  We only needed 3.5% GDP loss to create the 2008 crash.  Corona is a natural born crisis and we must endure it.  However, we don’t need to add the man-made Brexit disaster to the mix.

“Johnson’s driver” Peter Cook is taking a four-year-old baby “Bobo” on this historic journey.  Bobo has promised not to urinate for the entire trip, although the Mini will be making stops in Rugby, Manchester, North Yorkshire and Newcastle, also taking in Southampton, Dorset, Wiltshire and Kent in the coming weeks.  For Baby Bobo, it is a UST (Urination Stamina Test).

“Rules are rules and we must stick to them for everyone’s safety, even if Johnson, Cummings, Farage, Jenrick, Half Cock Handcock and Papa Bojo choose not to”

The last time “Johnson” made an appearance on Britain’s roads, we were stopped by an Essex Traffic Policeman Smith, in a rage on the M25 motorway.  PC Smith asked us to remove the signage on the car on the hard shoulder of the M25, putting the police officer and the passengers at risk of death.  We are hoping to return to Essex to meet PC Smith for a cuppa.  Smith has not been located by Essex Police some 8 months after we provided his full details to the force …

Peter hopes that “Dick and Dom” aka Boris and Dominic will hear our call that this is the worst time to take Brexit out of the microwave.  If they checked their eyesight, they would now realise that there is a substantial gap in the will of the people, with nearly a ten-point gap of people now wishing to remain a member of the EU.  All that is needed is courage and political will to change the oncoming “Britastrophe”.   

“We must re-boot Britain in the wake of Corona.  It’s time for our leaders to show true courage and take a bold move to build, build, build a Better Britain in a Better Europe for a Better World.  To this end I have formed an unpolitical party to end all political parties.  It’s time we had leaders that we could look up to and trust.  Our movement is designed to help achieve that.  I’m proud to work with EU Flag mafia to help put the great back in Britain.

3 Dec 2019 – London, UK – Minis in Essex Street, London in a stunt organised and crowdfunded by anti-brexit campaigning group EU Flag Mafia.

p.s.  We have just received a request to take “Johnson” to Greece to check our eyesight, via Bulgaria.  We are just checking the logistics of the trip, although all seems well, since Stanley Johnson recently made a similar pilgrimage to check on a holiday let.

For an exclusive interview on our “Unprecedented Ocular Pilgrimage” around the UK, please contact Peter Cook, Brexorcist in Chief on 07725 927585 peter@academy-of-rock.co.uk

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Breaking the law

Ham and High on Brexit

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We have a full feature in the Islington Gazette, part of the iconic Ham and High imprint – a cultural icon of North London, which remains alive and kicking under the “death of culture” under Brexit populism.

See The Ham and High for the full piece.

The journalist asked what should happen to Cummings now. Here was my full answer:

“Bearing in mind that Cummings wants the civil service to run more like a business, I suggest that he receive similar treatment from my expertise as a business consultant and leadership author. Let Cummings be subject to SMART objectives, long and short-term performance goals, critical success factors, milestones and a personal balanced scorecard. With monthly appraisals, mentoring, spot bonuses and awards for targets achieved and sackings for major transgressions of his job description. By these measures Cummings should already be down the job centre”.

Join us on our trip to Barnard Castle to check your eyesight via https://www.gofundme.com/f/RageAgainstBrexit

Saturday 10 July 7 am at Stonehenge, then Salisbury, Blandford Forum, Dorchester (10 am), Bournemouth 12 ish, Poole, Weymouth, plus other stops on the way.

Sunday 11 July – Wiltshire, including Chippenham, Devizes, Cricklade, Swindon then Berkshire, London and Kent.

Tuesday 13 July – Medway in Kent from 2 pm onwards including Jools Holland’s place.

If you cannot attend in person, please support us via Go Fund Me.

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The Britastrophe Tour

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Here are the highlights of our ongoing tour of Britain. Please support the tour via Bollocks to Brexit.

Last Saturday, we hit the Dorset coast. I counted some 82 conversations we had over the entire weekend. Somewhat astonishingly we only had two objections to our project in areas that were very “Brexity”. The roadside cafe owner on the A31 quipped “I thought you guys had given up”. I replied that whatever you thought of Brexit we had to keep on naming it for what it is. He nodded, although I sense he still wants his country back. But two objections from 82 conversations is not what our Government is telling us. COVID has changed people’s attitudes to Brexit and our core message that Corona crisis + Brexit disaster = Britastrophe was extremely well received in these Brexit voting areas. Time to think again.

From Portland to Poundbury – Only two out of 82 people still want Brexit

Somewhat more worryingly, the Lib Dems cancelled events we had put considerable time into at Chippenham and Cricklade. The committee had objected to our “Bollocks to Brexit” messaging. I was part of the group that originated this slogan on the street at No 10 Downing Street. It was subsequently popularised by Steve Bray at SODEM and then adopted as an official slogan by the Lib Dems. I seriously worry about their strategy if they are to worry about every small issue. The space in which they have to take a position gets smaller by the day. Ho hum.

On Sunday we visited Swindon for Europe with a great reception and a street performance of some of our songs, including “The Mogg Chorus” and “Brexit’s Comin’ ‘Ome” which nearly reached the UK Official Charts. They gained publicity from This is Wiltshire.

Mogg is one of the few who will gain from Brexit
Brexit Pathos as seen from the mind of the Brexit voter

One person still felt the need to defend Brexit. He has had nearly four years to do so, yet was unable to provide one save for the football metaphor of “WE WON, YOU LOST”. I do feel sorry for these people at times. Despite my football song, this is no game.

We continue this week with the tour:

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