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Brexit TOWIE

The only way is ethics

In the wake of Lord Geidt’s letter to Boris Johnson and now his additional explanation, please write to your MP via Write to Them. The only way is ethics.

“Conscious of my own obligations under the Seven Principles of Public Life (including integrity), I could not be a party to advising on any potential law-breaking”. Lord Geidt

Here is a template letter you can adapt:

Dear Boris Johnson,

I am a scientist with 50 years’ experience in academia and industry and am well positioned to take on your recently vacant role of ethics advisor.

The company I worked for before retiring required all staff from the CEO to the most junior employees to sign up to a code of ethics and take an annual on-line ethics training course followed by an online test – which was reviewed by their managers.

The test covered such things as bullying, dishonesty with e.g. expense claims, taking gifts and other inducements from suppliers, racist behaviour and so on.

This policy was rigorously enforced by the management team, as was the ethics hotline which was a widely advertised toll-free telephone service for employees, run by an organization which was completely independent from the company, ensuring there was no bias or favouritism.

It would appear that your current set-up is lacking in many, if not all of these critical requirements, and hence I am sure I can help and advise you.

I look forward to your early reply.

Yours sincerely

aaa

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Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com

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Brexit TOWIE
Brexit TOWIE

Private Eyelines

Humour as a weapon against fascism

Private Eyelines : Have I Got Fake Brexit News for EU is just released. Humour is one of the few weapons this Government cannot take away from us. It’s a historical and hysterical record of #Brexit and one that holds this #fascist government to account in ways that spreadsheets and graphs do not. The book helps us deconstruct the fake news of populist media from “The Son” to “The Daily Maul” “Excess” and “Telegravda”. Grab copies for yourself and your Brexity friends now on Amazon or order discount copies direct from the author by e-mailing us at reboot@academy-of-rock.co.uk Here is the book blurb below:

Satire reaches the parts that spreadsheets, graphs and logic do not. Brexit provides a rich dark seam of tragicomedy in a Kafkaesque world of gaslighting, shapeshifting and shameless lies. We live in desperately sad times. But simply drowning in the sadness of Brexit does not help us deal with paranoid populist politicians. Bittersweet levity cuts through people’s minds to their visceral core. Simply stated, satire heals.

Populist media brainwashed leave voters to believe in Brexit unicorns. I tried my hand at parodying these media to expose the lies on which the Brexit hydra reared its many ugly heads. I found that people rather liked my gutterpress pages. Some even believed that they were real!

To change minds on Brexit, it is not sufficient to break the parliamentary paralysis which continues to enable the slow-motion destruction of Britain. Nor is demographic change, aka death, a success recipe. We must actively work on the huddled masses. People almost literally eat lies for breakfast from a biased populist media, owned by people who seem just a little bit too friendly with Vladimir Putin. Private Eyelines opens up the conversation anew with Brexiteers with buyers’ remorse, or Remainers numbed into submission by six years of bullshit and bullying from our so-called political leaders.

Peter Cook is a unique combination of scientist, business consultant and musician. As a 60’s child, his mum made him watch Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, saying “it would be good for him”. It wasn’t! Instead, Peter built a solid career bringing life-saving treatments for diabetes and HIV / AIDS to the world, 18 years tutoring MBAs in academia, writing books and 28 years running a business. His early exposure to Cook and Moore suddenly came to the fore after 24 June 2016, as satire met real life through Brexit. His mis-spent youth and creativity have been rejuvenated through campaigning, writing, music, film making and speaking about our rightful place in Europe. It was good for him after all. Mum was right!


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Brexit

Brexit Broke Britain

Brexit Broke Britain – official – see the Daily Maul. This is taken from our forthcoming book Private Eyelines : Have I Got Fake Brexit News for EU.

Click to order our new book Private Eyelines on Amazon. Contact me for discount author copies.

Available to order direct from Amazon – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author.

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BUY OUR BOOKS : Changing Minds on Europe and Brexit Private Eyelines

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Papa Bojo Don’t Preach

It’s been a week of car crash events with Boris Johnson. Somewhat unbelievably he was asked to deliver the reading at St Paul’s Cathedral on the occasion of the Queen’s jubilee. We reconsidered his speech through the values espoused by the Bible and its apostles : Mogg, Truss, Dorries, Madonna et al. This was the result. For complete clarity, we felt sorry for the Queen having to put up with Johnson and Brexit. Whatever your views on the monarchy, the Queen’s 70 years of service stand in stark contrast to Johnson’s spirit of self-service. Watch the 2 minute video and read the “Tory Bible quotes” below:

Bible quotes:

“Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in his speech and is a fool” Gove 48.52

“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: … drunkenness, orgies, and Instagram. Those who live by selfies will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Truss 78.6

“Whoever loves Somerset wealth is never satisfied with Brexit” Mogg 6.31

“Whatever it takes” Sunak 20.21

“Whatever” Liam Gallagher 19.94

“I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me in Rwanda.” Patel 52.48

“There are six things the LORD hates: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, Brexit, disaster capitalism, spaffing and hands that shed innocent blood” Johnson 20.22

“Let your requests for media censorship be made known to God” Dorries 6.66

“God save the Queen … from Brexit and Johnson” Ellwood 20.22


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Porngate

Sign O’ The Times

Sign O’ The Times – 01 May 2020

Gutterpress

In this edition, like Prince, Madonna and the Tory party, we see no divisions between sex, religion and politics.  Hold on tight!  It may be a bumpy ride. This is an extract from our next book. Buy the existing one here. In honour of Prince’s comment on politics we named this post Sign O’ The Times.

FACT: Jacob Rees-Mogg[1] admitted that Brexit is an act of self-harm.  Speaking at Folkestone last week, Mogg admitted that he would once again delay the introduction of border checks, as it would lead to food and supply shortages.  Having invested millions of pounds in infrastructure and systems, it seems that the port authorities are rather cross with Mr Mogg.  Meanwhile the minister for the 18th century drinks port in his mansion.  We do not know Mr Mogg’s views on sex with one’s nanny.  Open borders sound good in principle, but how do they achieve the primal Brexit ambition of keeping foreigners out, alongside contraband and other consequences of ‘letting go of control’?

FICTION: Although Liz Truss is probably one of the main users of Instagram, to promote her selfies in her bid to be Prime Minister, it is not true that she has been appointed head of the platform.  She continues to exploit war in Ukraine as a fashion accessory.

FACT: Our reporter confirms that Neil Parish MP is innocent.  We investigated how he came to be accidentally watching porn whist at work.   Here is the sequence:

1.Parish Googled ‘huge elections’ but made a mistake when typing.  This is what should have happened:

Porngate

2. Parish inadvertently substituted the letter ‘l’ with an ‘r’ and instead Googled ‘huge erections’.   It’s an easy mistake to make, even though the letter l is nowhere near the letter r on the keyboard:

Porngate

3. Then Parish would have gone through all the search results and eventually found himself on Pornhub.  It’s quite obvious to see how he made this catalogue of errors.

4. Neil Parish said he was Googling for tractors, as he is a farmer.  Even then, it is simple to see how he quickly ended up on a porn site.  Parish would have typed ‘huge erections massey ferguson’ into Google and then switched to videos.  This is what he would have found:

Prongate

It becomes clear that Neil Parish was a passive victim of mis-spelling tractor related words whilst at work.  Undoubtedly this ‘flick of the wrist’ led him into penis-related peril. Dom Jolly summed up the situation differently:

“While attempting to purchase a Massey Ferguson 2245 4WD I inadvertently stumbled across a website called Extraordinary Buttholes. Once I realised my mistake I immediately logged off, twenty minutes later. This should put the matter to bed.”

FICTION: Although Nadine Dorries[2] wants to privatise Channel 4 and The BBC to silence all criticism of far-right politics, dumb dumb Dorries has so far not threatened to replace them with 24/7 ‘downstreaming’ of porn movies.  Give it time.  I personally don’t want to see Mark Francois and Kate Hoey on ‘Naked Attraction’, but maybe I’m a prude.  The obsession with driving all criticism out of public life is yet another hallmark of Brexit sponsored fascism.

FACT: Although Boris Johnson did not use the words ‘Fcuk Jesus’, he did attack the Archbishop of Canterbury the other week for his criticism of Priti Patel’s ‘concentration camp’ policy on people fleeing from war zones.  Johnson did say ‘fuck business’, so he may as well have gone the whole hog with the almighty.

FACT: Priti Patel is not a Christian fundamentalist, although her father was a UKIP fundamentalist when he stood for the UKIP party in 2013.  Priti has broken the ministerial code several times, which is ungodly.  Killing people who are fleeing from terror is also not mentioned in the scriptures of any religion as far as we can tell.

Tory Porn Hub
Tory Porn Hub – picture by The Sun

Tory Porn Hub – Picture by The Sun

FACT: British Virgin Islands leader Andrew Fahie was arrested in the US for alleged drug trafficking and money laundering.  The reaction from Downing Street was to send a minister and suggest that the islands be taken back to direct rule[3] due to corruption.  Perhaps they would apply the same standards to Westminster?

Vote the Tories out this Thursday at the local elections.


[1] Jacob Rees-Mogg www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/apr/29/jacob-rees-mogg-brexit-disaster-leaving-eu-boris-johnson

[2] Downstreaming gaffe – Nadine Dorries www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-61201792

[3] Virgin Islands crisis www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-61280587

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