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Sign O’ The Times

Sign O’ The Times – 01 May 2020

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In this edition, like Prince, Madonna and the Tory party, we see no divisions between sex, religion and politics.  Hold on tight!  It may be a bumpy ride. This is an extract from our next book. Buy the existing one here. In honour of Prince’s comment on politics we named this post Sign O’ The Times.

FACT: Jacob Rees-Mogg[1] admitted that Brexit is an act of self-harm.  Speaking at Folkestone last week, Mogg admitted that he would once again delay the introduction of border checks, as it would lead to food and supply shortages.  Having invested millions of pounds in infrastructure and systems, it seems that the port authorities are rather cross with Mr Mogg.  Meanwhile the minister for the 18th century drinks port in his mansion.  We do not know Mr Mogg’s views on sex with one’s nanny.  Open borders sound good in principle, but how do they achieve the primal Brexit ambition of keeping foreigners out, alongside contraband and other consequences of ‘letting go of control’?

FICTION: Although Liz Truss is probably one of the main users of Instagram, to promote her selfies in her bid to be Prime Minister, it is not true that she has been appointed head of the platform.  She continues to exploit war in Ukraine as a fashion accessory.

FACT: Our reporter confirms that Neil Parish MP is innocent.  We investigated how he came to be accidentally watching porn whist at work.   Here is the sequence:

1.Parish Googled ‘huge elections’ but made a mistake when typing.  This is what should have happened:

Porngate

2. Parish inadvertently substituted the letter ‘l’ with an ‘r’ and instead Googled ‘huge erections’.   It’s an easy mistake to make, even though the letter l is nowhere near the letter r on the keyboard:

Porngate

3. Then Parish would have gone through all the search results and eventually found himself on Pornhub.  It’s quite obvious to see how he made this catalogue of errors.

4. Neil Parish said he was Googling for tractors, as he is a farmer.  Even then, it is simple to see how he quickly ended up on a porn site.  Parish would have typed ‘huge erections massey ferguson’ into Google and then switched to videos.  This is what he would have found:

Prongate

It becomes clear that Neil Parish was a passive victim of mis-spelling tractor related words whilst at work.  Undoubtedly this ‘flick of the wrist’ led him into penis-related peril. Dom Jolly summed up the situation differently:

“While attempting to purchase a Massey Ferguson 2245 4WD I inadvertently stumbled across a website called Extraordinary Buttholes. Once I realised my mistake I immediately logged off, twenty minutes later. This should put the matter to bed.”

FICTION: Although Nadine Dorries[2] wants to privatise Channel 4 and The BBC to silence all criticism of far-right politics, dumb dumb Dorries has so far not threatened to replace them with 24/7 ‘downstreaming’ of porn movies.  Give it time.  I personally don’t want to see Mark Francois and Kate Hoey on ‘Naked Attraction’, but maybe I’m a prude.  The obsession with driving all criticism out of public life is yet another hallmark of Brexit sponsored fascism.

FACT: Although Boris Johnson did not use the words ‘Fcuk Jesus’, he did attack the Archbishop of Canterbury the other week for his criticism of Priti Patel’s ‘concentration camp’ policy on people fleeing from war zones.  Johnson did say ‘fuck business’, so he may as well have gone the whole hog with the almighty.

FACT: Priti Patel is not a Christian fundamentalist, although her father was a UKIP fundamentalist when he stood for the UKIP party in 2013.  Priti has broken the ministerial code several times, which is ungodly.  Killing people who are fleeing from terror is also not mentioned in the scriptures of any religion as far as we can tell.

Tory Porn Hub – Picture by The Sun

FACT: British Virgin Islands leader Andrew Fahie was arrested in the US for alleged drug trafficking and money laundering.  The reaction from Downing Street was to send a minister and suggest that the islands be taken back to direct rule[3] due to corruption.  Perhaps they would apply the same standards to Westminster?

Vote the Tories out this Thursday at the local elections.


[1] Jacob Rees-Mogg www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/apr/29/jacob-rees-mogg-brexit-disaster-leaving-eu-boris-johnson

[2] Downstreaming gaffe – Nadine Dorries www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-61201792

[3] Virgin Islands crisis www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-61280587

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Tory Hub

Tory Hub

It seems that some Tory MPs were caught watching porn on “Tory Hub” whilst working. To those who find politics boring, I agree that it is and watching almost anything would be better than being a politician. I also don’t much care whether they were watching Neighbours or porn. The point of the matter is that they are paid to do a job and that should be the object of their work. If any people reading this were caught watching The Waltons, Eastenders, Naked Attraction or Porn Hub whilst at work, it would be a sacking offence. So it should for them.

Can you seriously vote Tory at next week’s local elections given that they prefer to watch porn on “Tory Hub” rather than do their work? Seriously? Neil Parish must resign without delay.

The meeting came amid reports that dozens of MPs, including three Cabinet ministers, are facing allegations of sexual misconduct referred to the Independent Complaints and Grievances Scheme (ICGS).

Asked about the newspaper’s original report at Prime Minister’s Questions, Boris Johnson agreed that sexual misconduct would be “grounds for dismissal” for ministers. How about corporate manslaughter of 20 000 ++ people in care homes by the Prime Minister and his Cabinet?

Join us Thursday 05 May 7 pm for a masterclass on Brexorcism via ZOOM

Whilst we are on the subject, here’s a few choice videos – they are not pornographic by the way but You Tube deemed them PG rated:

Jacob Rees Moog – THE BREX-KIP FAR-RIGHT FAR-AGE DOMINATRIX MIX

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Take Back Control … of democracy

Brexit 

Partygate
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Priti Woman

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Priti Patel

Concentration


Daily Maul
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Priti Patel plans to send asylum seekers to Rwanda.  A modern form of concentration. In case you are unsure as to what is fact and faction in this edition of The Maul, here’s some help:

FACT:  2/3 of people seeking asylum are legal asylum seekers … but

FACT: Priti Patel’s concentration arrangement is a one-way ticket to Rwanda.  So all asylum seekers are sent to Rwanda, regardless of their status.  If they are found to be legitimate, they cannot return.

FACT: The concentration scheme will cost far more than housing migrants in The Ritz hotel in London.

FACT: The Home Office objected to the scheme but Patel forced the process through using a special order.

FACT: Priti Patel has united several religions of the world. God has found her bang out of order as have the Sikhs.

FACT: There are better alternatives identified by Yvette Cooper and others. Cooper pointed out that Australian Refugee Council offshoring figuress show 3127 people were sent to Papua New Guinea/ Nauru since 2013 at cost to Australian taxpayer of AUS$10bn. That’s £1.7m per person.  We can expect a similar order of costs here.

FACT: Israel introduced a similar system.  All those expelled fled the country and re-entered the countries they left.  There is no sense in which the British system will lead to a different outcome.

FICTION: There is no proof that Larry the cat deliberately attended lockdown parties.  After all, cats retain freedom of movement, unlike human beings after Brexit.

FICTION: Butlins are not hosting refugees in Rwanda, nor are they hoping to host holiday homes there.  Instead they prefer to host true Brits at Clacton, Greet Yarmouth, Bridlington and Camber.  Book your staycation and avoid 5 hour airport queues or even longer at the Brexit ports.

FACT: Priti Patel is subhuman scum in the Harry Enfield / Reginald Perrin sense of the word. An immigrant who has forgotten how she came to be here.

FACT: Find out more on asylum seekers here.

This inhumane scheme is unworkable, unethical illegal and will cost the earth.

NEW BOOK : Changing Minds on Europe and Brexit

Brexorcism masterclass 7 pm Thursday 21 April via ZOOM

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Book

Brexit Freedoms

Some of my Remoaner friends keep telling me there are no Brexit Freedoms. They are not looking hard enough. I have come up with a long list of Brexit Freedoms to counterbalance the cost of Brexit, currently standing at an eye watering £128 BILLION, and predicted to outweigh the cost of COVID multiple times into the future. So, doomsayers, prepare for a shock !!

Sunday 6 Feb by Peter Cook – please click on the links in blue to drill down for more details.

Pints

For years I have been compelled to go into English pubs and say in a weakened voice “Can I have 564 ml of Champagne please?” No longer. I can now stride in proud and say “Stout Yeoman, I want a pint of foaming English brown beer in a straight glass”. And it has a little crown on the side. As I drink the hoppy infusion, I am reminded of are Queen and Prince Andrew. It just gets better and better … Soon, we’ll be able to have English Lions back on our eggs … HM Government state that imperial units like pounds and ounces are widely valued in the UK and are a core
part of many people’s British identity. I don’t know anyone of my own age that can count in stones, pounds and ounces. My sense is that this is a LIE.

Fifty Pence

We now have the Brexit fifty pence piece back, although I confess I have not seen one of late. But it signifies the fact that we now have the Pound back as our currency. I did speak with a woman who told me that her dad said that we no longer had the Pound before Brexit. Did you notice that? Buy one of the rare 50 pence pieces on e-bay and support our work to Re-Boot Britain. Outrageous prices!! 🙂

Book
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Brexit Freedoms o’ Fish

Scottish Salmon fishermen report on Farming Today that Europeans still want our salmon, although exports have been hit to EU countries due to Brexit. Since Scottish Salmon is a major Scottish export, salmon fishermen are able to hire entire containers to ship their goods to Europe, reducing the mountain of Brexit paperwork and other costs in their segment of the fishing industry. Sadly this benefit does not exist for other fish varieties and the predicted decline in fishing continues, as predicted by the Remainiacs. And let’s remember this is Scottish Salmon. Once Scotland have their independence, they will take this benefit with them. Scottish Salmon and Whisky are major exports from Scotland.

Against the backdrop of the BBC’s nationalistic drive to back Brexit on Farming Today, The Food and Drink Federation showed that Scotland’s whisky and salmon exports were down by 11% and 6.4% respectively since 2019, with the UK’s total exports of food and drink was down by £2.7 billion (-15.9%) in the first three quarters of 2021 – with £2.4bn (-23.7%) directly from a drop in sales to the EU. It’s not necessarily true that the salmon are swimming against the tide.

Brexit Fish Freedoms
Brexit benefits
Helpful comparisons …

Irish Unification

The current troubles with Edwin Poots and the DUP draw Irish unification ever closer. The DUP seek to throw away 30 years of relative peace on the island of Ireland by asking the Government to break international law on the Northern Ireland Protocol, a bill which they signed up to. I cannot comprehend the nuclear levels of two faced stupidity being brought to bear on the people of Ireland by the DUP. It seems that plans are underway for a cross-border administration in the wake of the breakdown of the Stormont Government. Meanwhile trade between Ireland and Northern Ireland is UP after Brexit with trade between NI and mainland Britain DOWN. Our Brexit scenarios predict that this will continue to a point where the vast majority of people see the economic advantages of a united Ireland outweigh the religious and political forces that divide the island.

Blue Tape

Brexit is reckoned to SAVE £1 BILLION in cutting red tape. It is not specified where this will happen, but we presume it will be in a bonfire on worker protections, food, environmental and other regulations, making our products less safe and opening up Victorian levels of exploitation and climate damage. At the same time, The FT says that Brexit has ADDED £7 BILLION of red tape. We only have to ask lorry drivers, farmers, fishermen et al. Taking Back Control never specified who would gain that control and plainly it was the Government through moral hazard and a return to Victorian England. In case of doubt, £7 bn is more than £1 bn.

Read the Government’s LIES on Brexit at Brexit Freedom Bill.

Brexit simplification in action

Vaccination Vacillation

Boris Johnson claims that the speed of our vaccination programme was due to Brexit Freedoms. Sadly it is not true. The BBC reported that we have been able to authorise the supply of this vaccine using provisions under European law. Johnson simply acted first in a desperate move to buy up the vaccine and starve the rest of the world from supplies, like the little boy in the playground who kept all the sweets and then realised that nobody wanted to play with him. By the way, the British vaccine was developed by Turkish and German scientists. I’m surprised that Brexiteers want such a “foreign invasion”.

Brexit Freedoms : Rich Pickings

Undoubtedly Brexit has caused an exodus of foreign workers, in part due to red tape and associated costs, but, in the main because, England has once again become a racist country under Brexit. Arguably, we did not need Brexit Freedoms to “take back control” of the fields, lorry parks, bus stations etc. I await the queues of Brexit voting OAPs to pick for Britain, drive for Britain, stack shelves for Britain and so on. So far, we have been underwhelmed with applications from “Dad’s Brexit Army”. Meanwhile illegal migration proceeds, due to our Government’s attempts to kill people who flee from terror.

Left outside alone to die by Priti Patel

Sovereignty

The Government claim that the Brexit Freedoms of sovereignty are many and various in their 105 page document. I can only find wind. Grab your bag of Brexit Sovrinty here.

Blue Passports

Undoubtedly the showstopper in Brexit Freedoms has been the blue passport. We will pay £30 per family and hours of queuing to benefit from this Brexit Freedom, but clearly it’s worth it. In case of doubt we were always able to have blue passports, even if they were made in France. The Government paper on this is simply FAKE NEWS:

Brexit Freedoms
LIES, LIES, LIES. To support our work on the truth about Brexit, click on the lies above

Funding the NHS

The Government document claims that £57 BILLION is to be given to the NHS. They were promised £18.2 BILLION EVERY YEAR. You do not need a calculator to realise that the £57 billion is actually smaller than £18.2 billion every year. Go compare.

State control

France recently decided to make EDF Energy subsidise energy price hikes. So energy consumers in France will get a 4% price hike whilst UK consumers will experience a 54% price hike. And France is in the EU. How then were France able to do this if they are “controlled by an EU superstate”? See Social Care for more details on our lies about the need to raise national insurance. How was Viktor Orban able to buy his vaccines from Russia whilst being part of the EU? The EU superstate argument is vacuous.

Tampon freedom

We are now free of the Tampon Tax!! Women may rest safe in the knowledge that the VAT man is not taking a percentage of their periodic blood losses. Except that even this is a LIE-Let me explain. The trouble with so-called “tampon freedom” is that this arrangement was made in 2016, whilst we were a member of the EU. We have NOT been prevented from removing tax on tampons by our EU membership.

Brexit Tampon Freedoms

Amidst the other Brexit Freedoms that The Government paper puts forward that we could not do as members of EU are:

  • Giving up smoking – really?
  • Healthy eating – who knew that the EU were stopping this?
  • Ending the throw away culture – Britain leads the world in throw away culture
  • Faster HGV licence approval by reducing the difficulty of HGV tests, so more dangerous OAP lorry drivers on the roads
  • Simpler, better railways – this means not doing the Northern leg of HS2
  • Pints of French champagne
  • Use of the 105 page document for redecoration of 10 Downing Street when Boris Johnson leaves.

NEW BOOK : Changing Minds on Europe and Brexit

Brexorcism masterclass 7 pm Thursday 28 April via ZOOM

Support our activism via PatreonPaypal or GoFundMe

Read recent articles Sunny UPLANDSP&O Ferries and BrexitBrexit and WW IIIDeath of Democracy in UK.

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Read some of our recent articles :

Brexit is Broken

Send in the clowns

Changing Minds on Brexit

Leave means Leave


Leave means Leave – by Ian Collard.

Companies continue to leave these shores for Europe.  At the outset, the government’s standard response was to deny this had anything to do with Brexit – it was just a coincidence that so many had taken the same decision.  Over time, even by their own standards of truth and accuracy, that argument was becoming difficult to defend.  In April 2022, a company in the seat represented by former government housing minister Robert ‘It was pure chance that a change I made benefitted a Tory donor’ Jenrick joined the throng an upped sticks for the continent. Brexit-supporting Newark in shock as largest employer shuts up shop and heads for mainland Europe (cityam.com)

Join us TONITE Thursday 21 April for a masterclass on Brexorcism at 7 pm via ZOOM

Face with a problem that the public were noticing ‘levelling up’ was just a slogan and that Brexit was turning out to be the disaster predicted, a government minister had a flash of inspiration:

A senior minister has highlighted that the UK is well on its way to overcoming the shortage of fruit and vegetable pickers that has been such a problem since the UK left the EU.

Highlighting specifically the freeing up of 110 potential labourers from the Goodlife factory in Newark, the minister for Brexit Excuses Jackie Dix-Sprogs said:

“Whingeing Remainers said that after Brexit there would be a shortage of people to harvest our food.  This proves they were wrong – there was no shortage, the workers were just in the wrong place.  We simply needed a way to level up and allow our highly-skilled workforce to get out there and do some back-breaking work.  Now, thanks to Brexit, firms like Goodlife are moving their operations to Europe and freeing up workers to pick crops.  This certainly doesn’t bode well for Europe as if more companies relocate, they will likely end up with a shortage of workers themselves. Leave means Leave.”

Brexit 

Partygate
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Read recent articles Sunny UPLANDSParty Party PartyBrexit and WW IIIDeath of Democracy in UK.

Support our work via PatreonPaypal or GoFundMe

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