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Private Eyelines

Humour as a weapon against fascism

by author

Private Eyelines : Have I Got Fake Brexit News for EU is just released. Humour is one of the few weapons this Government cannot take away from us. It’s a historical and hysterical record of #Brexit and one that holds this #fascist government to account in ways that spreadsheets and graphs do not. The book helps us deconstruct the fake news of populist media from “The Son” to “The Daily Maul” “Excess” and “Telegravda”. Grab copies for yourself and your Brexity friends now on Amazon or order discount copies direct from the author by e-mailing us at reboot@academy-of-rock.co.uk Here is the book blurb below:

Satire reaches the parts that spreadsheets, graphs and logic do not. Brexit provides a rich dark seam of tragicomedy in a Kafkaesque world of gaslighting, shapeshifting and shameless lies. We live in desperately sad times. But simply drowning in the sadness of Brexit does not help us deal with paranoid populist politicians. Bittersweet levity cuts through people’s minds to their visceral core. Simply stated, satire heals.

Populist media brainwashed leave voters to believe in Brexit unicorns. I tried my hand at parodying these media to expose the lies on which the Brexit hydra reared its many ugly heads. I found that people rather liked my gutterpress pages. Some even believed that they were real!

To change minds on Brexit, it is not sufficient to break the parliamentary paralysis which continues to enable the slow-motion destruction of Britain. Nor is demographic change, aka death, a success recipe. We must actively work on the huddled masses. People almost literally eat lies for breakfast from a biased populist media, owned by people who seem just a little bit too friendly with Vladimir Putin. Private Eyelines opens up the conversation anew with Brexiteers with buyers’ remorse, or Remainers numbed into submission by six years of bullshit and bullying from our so-called political leaders.

Peter Cook is a unique combination of scientist, business consultant and musician. As a 60’s child, his mum made him watch Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, saying “it would be good for him”. It wasn’t! Instead, Peter built a solid career bringing life-saving treatments for diabetes and HIV / AIDS to the world, 18 years tutoring MBAs in academia, writing books and 28 years running a business. His early exposure to Cook and Moore suddenly came to the fore after 24 June 2016, as satire met real life through Brexit. His mis-spent youth and creativity have been rejuvenated through campaigning, writing, music, film making and speaking about our rightful place in Europe. It was good for him after all. Mum was right!

Available to order direct from Amazon – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author.

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Partygate

Party Party Party

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It’s Party Party Party in the Telegravda. Come on down and celebrate death by Brexit. Taken from a forthcoming book on the Kafka-esque political world in which we now operate.

Partygate

FACT: Drivers stuck on the M20 [1]are not allowed to leave their cabins to urinate or defecate by Kent Police, so that traffic can continue its slow grind towards Dover. It’s not Party Party Party if you are stuck in your cab with a bottle of urine and a pile of Brexshit on the floor.

FICTION: The M20 has not been turned into a rave venue and the drivers are not drinking their own urine during ‘Operation Pisspot’[2].

FICTION: Sue Gray has not shown up in Ibiza.  On the other hand, her report on leadership failures has disappeared without trace.

Sue Gray Partygate
Chilled – Sue Gray

FACT: Johnson needs the Russian war to deflect attention from Brexit carnage, now that he has cancelled COVID, his leadership, gas, oil, petrol and food prices, national insurance, NHS backlogs, COVID … the list goes on.

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FACT: Johnson’s leadership is disliked by 72% of the population with the most frequent word mentioned about him being LIAR.

Liar in Chief
Liar in Chief

FACT: Let’s play the party game of ‘closets and skeletons’ whilst the drinking continue into the night:

Rishi Sunak defended Mrs S of her absolute right to legally pay as little tax as possible to the country that supplies her with the house she lives in.  She was part owner of Lava Mayfair Club Ltd[3] (a private membership gym), which collapsed last year, owing almost £44 million to creditors, including £374,000 to HMRC.

Another of Mrs S’s ventures, education firm ‘Mrs Wordsmith[4]‘, went into administration last year owing £16.3 million … after receiving a £1.3 million loan from the Government’s Future Fund.

Digme Fitness, of which Mrs Rishi owns, received up to £635,000 of furlough money before it closed its eight studios in London and Oxford still owing HMRC £415,000.  In case of doubt, 635 is more than 415. 

So, Sunak introduces the furlough scheme … and the woman he’s sleeping with benefits by up to £635,000.

Sunak oversees the UK rules regarding non-Dom status[5] … and the woman he’s sleeping with benefits by over £20 million.

Sunak is supposed to be in charge of ensuring that the UK maximises its tax take…yet the woman he’s sleeping with has overseen companies going bust owing £789,000 to HMRC.

Sunak says his wife’s tax affairs are none of our business!  Never mind, let’s party like it’s 1999!

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Sue Gray Partygate
Let’s party like it’s 1999

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Brexit Partygate
Click to view on Amazon

[1] Kent Messenger www.kentlive.news/news/kent-news/operation-brock-kent-residents-slam-6938937

[2] BBC Have I Got News For You on EU TUBE www.youtube.com/c/PeterCook1001

[3] Mrs Sunak www.easterneye.biz/two-businesses-in-which-sunaks-wife-had-shares-gone-bust-in-pandemic/

[4] FT Jim Pickard 11 April 2022

[5] Non-Dom: A good deal for Mrs S www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-61027058

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Know your enemy

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From Adrian Ekins-Daukes.

One of the key Brexit texts is “Change, or Go: How Britain would gain influence and prosper outside an unreformed EU.” written in 2015. Highlights summarised below by Jennifer Rankin (Guardian):

  • UK/Irish relations scarcely get a mention.
  • The EU would agree to negotiate a new trading relationship before the triggering of Article 50. The UK would have a new deal in its back pocket before the formal process of leaving the EU even began.
  • The UK could enjoy “a common market relationship with EU even if it did not sign a special deal after exit”.
  • The authors were relaxed about the UK losing the benefits of EU trade deals, because “the EU underperforms at managing trade policy”. It doesn’t have a trade deal with the US and China. Anyway, it is “highly likely” EU FTAs “could be photocopied”. The UK could quickly do its own deals.
  • It obsesses on tariffs, but pays scant attention to non-tariff barriers. In revealing language, it saw limits to the EU’s ability “to penalise Britain” and inflict “malicious harm”.
  • Easy transport links for firms and citizens: “there would be no significant disruption or inconvenience for UK firms or passengers”. UK travellers can keep the EHIC insurance card when visiting the EU. The Change or Go report provided the underpinning for Michael Gove’s “We hold all the cards” 2016 speech.

Taken together, Gove’s speech and the Change or Go report make it clear that Brexiteers believed:

  • The EU was about to implode sometime soon or, at the very least, be severely weakened.
  • Brexit would trigger a domino effect and other countries would follow the UK out.
  • After the Brexit vote, the UK would hold all the cards and be the centre of a new, anti-EU European alliance.
  • The UK could dictate terms because the EU would desperately need UK trade.
  • The UK could have customs union and single market benefits without the commitments and obligations of membership.
  • Travel to the EU from the UK would continue without interruption and with no new requirements.
  • It was all about the trade in goods, tariffs and borders.
  • The UK would quickly be able to negotiate trade deals with all the major powers to compensate for any loss in EU trade.

Incredibly, Leave Voters still seem to believe much of this nonsense in the face of all the evidence and the passage of time. In particular they cling to the to the idea that Merkel will come to the rescue of the negotiations at the last moment and that the obstructive Barnier will be sacked (editor’s note, we have seen the Cummings and goings of many UK trade negotiators and whipping boys whereas Barnier has remained in place all through this process). Our Government believe that all that we have to do is to continue to allow David Frost, our negotiator, to continue repeating idiotically “we are now an independent country”, and the EU will finally concede.

Write to your MP using this material to set out the case as to why the unicorns of Brexit MP’s have been shown to be fatally flawed. Call for a suspension of Brexit pending a full public enquiry and consultation.

Read Anand Menon’s recent paper on the subject.

Michael Gove’s lies and various other lies are captured in this piece of music which is prophetic in terms of our sleepwalk into a banana republic and a fascist state.

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