Every cloud … This week, I had a serious accident when I was nearly run over and killed on my bicycle by an articulated lorry travelling at 50 mph. I was admitted to A&E and found to have a number of fractured bones in my lower back and in areas connected to the spine. I am presently recuperating. As is the way with such things, people tend to get in touch to find out how you are. My estranged sister was one of them and she was WhatsApping me on Thursday. I decided to break our arrangement of silence and called her by phone. I say estranged because I asked that she stop visiting for family teas some years ago after she said she and her husband voted for Brexit to “keep two million German rapists out of Tonbridge” and to “stop Sharia Law in Britain”. I found our conversation deeply depressing and cut ties for family gatherings as a result. We must still Brexorcise people if we are to move the dial – see Books to change minds, although my sister is not really part of my target market – she is beyond redemption. The phone conversation went something like this:
S: I’m only phoning up to find out how you are Peter. I’m not going to go on about my ailments.
ME: I thank her, explain briefly that I’m OK and answer questions about the accident. As expected this is followed by a full exposition of ‘her ailments’, which I allow, as she is quite old and it’s expected anyway as part of our normal conversation. I find out which pills she is on and so on and host of other unnecessary information. Still, that’s family for you.
S: I suppose you are really pleased today?
S: Well, Boris going and all that? (she knows she should not bring the subject up but cannot help herself).
ME: No, not at all. (she is perplexed as she only sees issues as being binary off / on, in / out, yes / no decisions). I wait a bit and then continue: As you know changing the figurehead does not change the underlying problem which remains, in other words Brexit.
S (looking for an escape route): Well, I could not vote for Keir Starmer.
ME: What exactly is it that means you cannot vote for him? Nor can I by the way.
S: (long pause) er, um, well I don’t know really but it’s just a feeling (she reads The Daily Maul). I note that she is beginning to question her statement and let it go.
S: (after my embarrassingly long pause): Well, Boris is funny isn’t he?
ME: Yes, he is …. (long awkward pause), but being funny is not the most important thing if you are running the country …
S: (fumbling) Well, he did COVID well didn’t he.
ME: Er, yes if you think that 170 000 unnecessary deaths is good (long pause). You do realise that there were other choices and that this course of action was not inevitable? (long pause). S: Did you know that I’m a great grandmother? We continue with small talk.
A friend wondered why I continue to bother and in some ways she is right. My sister represents a small group of people for whom little will change in terms of their beliefs about Brexit. They do however offer an excellent practice arena for the larger swathe of people who now doubt the wisdom of Brexit. We must work on this group now that they are starting to question the lies they were sold about Brexit. In a relatively short intervention I was able to raise significant doubt about the following matters:
Remainers are not all Boris haters or ‘lefty losers’.
Keir Starmer has some competences to lead. My sister is of the view that Starmer represents communism in her binary world.
Entertainment is not a core leadership skill. Other qualities matter more. Johnson was good at the Olympics and could have possibly had a career presenting ‘It’s a kockout’. However these skills are insufficient to run the country.
Killing people unnecessarily is not something to be proud of.
Herd immunity was not the only choice to address COVID (Brexiteers love the modal operator of necessity – see the books for more information on linguistics).
We simply cannot change the outlook on Brexit unless we work outside the bubble. Read the books today and arm yourself to have these difficult conversations. Every cloud …
Private Eyelines : Have I Got Fake Brexit News for EU is just released. Humour is one of the few weapons this Government cannot take away from us. It’s a historical and hysterical record of #Brexit and one that holds this #fascist government to account in ways that spreadsheets and graphs do not. The book helps us deconstruct the fake news of populist media from “The Son” to “The Daily Maul” “Excess” and “Telegravda”. Grab copies for yourself and your Brexity friends now on Amazon or order discount copies direct from the author by e-mailing us at email@example.com Here is the book blurb below:
Satire reaches the parts that spreadsheets, graphs and logic do not. Brexit provides a rich dark seam of tragicomedy in a Kafkaesque world of gaslighting, shapeshifting and shameless lies. We live in desperately sad times. But simply drowning in the sadness of Brexit does not help us deal with paranoid populist politicians. Bittersweet levity cuts through people’s minds to their visceral core. Simply stated, satire heals.
Populist media brainwashed leave voters to believe in Brexit unicorns. I tried my hand at parodying these media to expose the lies on which the Brexit hydra reared its many ugly heads. I found that people rather liked my gutterpress pages. Some even believed that they were real!
To change minds on Brexit, it is not sufficient to break the parliamentary paralysis which continues to enable the slow-motion destruction of Britain. Nor is demographic change, aka death, a success recipe. We must actively work on the huddled masses. People almost literally eat lies for breakfast from a biased populist media, owned by people who seem just a little bit too friendly with Vladimir Putin. Private Eyelines opens up the conversation anew with Brexiteers with buyers’ remorse, or Remainers numbed into submission by six years of bullshit and bullying from our so-called political leaders.
Peter Cook is a unique combination of scientist, business consultant and musician. As a 60’s child, his mum made him watch Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, saying “it would be good for him”. It wasn’t! Instead, Peter built a solid career bringing life-saving treatments for diabetes and HIV / AIDS to the world, 18 years tutoring MBAs in academia, writing books and 28 years running a business. His early exposure to Cook and Moore suddenly came to the fore after 24 June 2016, as satire met real life through Brexit. His mis-spent youth and creativity have been rejuvenated through campaigning, writing, music, film making and speaking about our rightful place in Europe. It was good for him after all. Mum was right!
Turn despair into action. Join us every Monday at 8pm on ZOOM via Reboot Britain.
In this Irish special we focus on the U2 question posed by Liz Truss “With or Without EU”. It becomes clear that she still hasn’t found what she’s looking for with Brexit.
As things continue to become more bizarre by the day in Brexit Britain, we focus on the Irish question in this fake version of The Mail on Sunday.
FACT: Liz Truss is prepared to risk the breakdown of the Good Friday Agreement and 30 years of peace on the island of Ireland to improve her chances of becoming PM. In 2019 the Conservatives said that peace in Northern Ireland and independence for Scotland were prices worth paying to “Get Brexit Done”. One of the few truths they told.
FACT : It was the BRITISH government that signed the Brexit deal which required the border in the sea between Britain and the island of Ireland. Blaming the EU is simply gaslighting. We are a third country and, to quote the Brexiteers we should “Get over it”
FACT : ‘Sir’ David Frost read the deal and then ignored it in order to “Get Brexit Done”. This problem is ENTIRELY of our own Government’s making and Frost’s squirming is pathetic. He’s not even elected.
FACT : Boris Johnson said that a border between Ireland and Britain would only happen over his dead body. We note that he is still alive.
FACT : The majority of people and politicians in Northern Ireland want to keep the Northern Ireland Protocol. Some 70% of people voted for parties that support peace on the island or Ireland.
FACT : ‘Sir’ David Frost is now pretending he was railroaded into signing the deal. The word scum is not bad enough for someone who refuses to own his Brexshit.
FACT : Johnson needs this distraction to ensure people don’t think about unnecessary COVID deaths, Leadership failures via Partygate, the cost of living crisis, Brexit carnage, Levelling down, NI rises, Pension unlocking, killing bees, killing kids by encouraging them to eat more junk food, the list goes on.
FICTION : Whereas Coleen Rooney has not shagged Johnson, Arlene would do anything to restore the troubles to Northern Ireland, including a performance with Dolly Parton if one could be arranged.
Whilst the EU are the adults in the room, they should respond to this childish behaviour by our adapted children in Government.
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