Reflections from a sea dog

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Don Adamson writes from Yorkshire on the latest mayhem which contributes to our Britastrophe.

This week’s quotes: “Johnson’s ‘levelling up’ agenda is ailing and listless, a casualty of Johnson’s lack of seriousness … Few doubt the new chancellor’s intellect but he swings between genius and idiocy … an attention span of four seconds … The Chancellor rattles the Treasury … the Treasury needs good advice more than ever … may not be enough to avoid a downturn … None of this bodes well for the public finances. Yet the government is expected to announce tax cuts … Having got their woman into Downing St dodgy financiers can look forward to … deregulate their businesses yet further … Kwarteng should be able to get his ideas through with less sense checking from experienced officials…. However resounding the next crash the sound for friends of Kwasi wil be ‘kerching’ … Department of Health and Social Care is proving shy about efforts to claw back billions of pounds from underperforming suppliers … progress on suspect suppliers is close to bugger all …Priti Patel put former Australian Foreign Secretary (who helped create Australia’s harsh anti-refugee system) in charge of ‘independent review’ of her Rwanda scheme … leaked files showed guards hitting children or demanding sex from female inmates in grim camps in Papua New Guinea … If Downer could not detect abuse in Australia’s infamous offshore camps it seems unlikely he will spot it in Rwanda … Chris Philp, new appointment as Chief Secretary to the Treasury … why pay any tax at all when they can simply fold their companies when owing hundreds of thousands of pounds to Revenue and Customs … It was refreshing to hear a Labour Politician unapologetic about opposing Brexit, clear about the palpable damage was doing … Sept ans plus tard qui peut pretendre que le Royaume-Uni a beneficie du Brexit (Translation – after seven years who can pretend that the UK benefits from Brexit) … the answer is next to nobody. The tragedy is that the few who do pretend are sitting round the cabinet table, living in la la land imagining that Brexiters who ‘knew what they were voting for’ knew that it was bankers getting bigger bonuses … many of Thick Lizzie and Kwarteng’s plans are detailed in an economically illiterate pamphlet they published ten years ago … Britannia Unchained … unremarkable, badly researched, cherry picked data using taxi drivers’ anecdotes as ‘evidence.’ … evidence is thin … lifting the ban on bankers’ bonuses … even Johnson retreated on this idea … the authors without a science or maths degree between them or any sense of irony … one of the most illiterate parts of the prospectus is the notion that we will all have to work harder … in fact British workers put in longer hours but productivity remains low … the obvious change is more training, investment and better management … if you don’t believe ‘Britannia Unchanged’ the pamphlet has the evidence to convince you … the opinions of taxi drivers … the authors are terrible at maths, economically illiterate, ignorant of science and engineering and completely unaware of how to research a book or write well … smug, selfish, self satisfied, lacking in empathy, ignorant of facts and believing in their own fantasy economics …unfortunately they are now running the country …

Pip Pip

Don Adamson, Medway Delta (Retired), Saboteur and Brexorcist First Class

Do you trust Truss?

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Peter Cook

As Liz Truss becomes more desperate to win the election, her measures become more desperate. But the Janusian confusion in “Trussian” thinking continues. The key question is “Do you trust Truss?” We depicted the question in the Queen song “Now I’m here” in the attached video “The Two Minds of Liz Truss”. Famously, Freddie Mercury sings “Now I’m here” from one side of the stereo field and “Now I’m there” from the other side. Truss is all over the place – even surround sound could not cover Truss’ ever changing moods !!

We made the video to leaven Truss’ chances of winning. A Prime Minister with no real majority will find it hard to enact radical policies and the ideal ironic election result would be 52 : 48.

Please like and share the video:

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Britastrophe

by

Peter Cook

Extract from the book Private Eyelines. Britain officially slid into what looks like an L-Shaped recession today (L stands for LONG). Whilst Corona undoubtedly provided the tipping point into recession, we must also look longer into the past for the underlying reasons. The FT reports that UK is the worst performing nation in Europe regarding our decline into recession under Corona. Brexit must therefore be added in terms of how deep and rapid our plunge into recession has been. Brexit uncertainly has laid the table for our Britastrophe, making Britain especially vulnerable in terms of resilience. The term resilience is essentially our ability to ride out tough times. Longer term, adding a man made disaster in slow motion (Brexit) to the Corona crisis offers us a “Britastrophe“. We have to endure Corona, but we need not have Brexit.

In March 2020, we made some socio-economic and political forecasts about the coming 6 months. Prediction is largely a dangerous game, but it turns out we were mostly right. We would be very badly advised to add Brexit to our list of problems in 2021 under this analysis:

But here at Rage Against Brexit we look deeper at the underlying economics and today we can report that it seems that Britain’s problems have been caused by … cheese ….

Taking back control … of our Stilton

Liz Truss has made the protection of Stilton a red line in the Brexit talks with Japan. In case you are not familiar, Truss is a massive defender of cheese and has made it her personal mission to defend her “blue veins” against what she considers the “yellow peril” in Brexit talks.

In case you are wondering about the benefits of the “Stilton Clause” as it is referred to in Whitehall, here they are:

Our trade with Japan was worth £31.6 billion last year

The Stilton Wedge is worth £102 million

In case of doubt, a billion is more than a million – a lot more

70% of Japanese people are unable to eat Stilton due to lactose intolerance

Liz Truss: [furiously] “Tell the yellow midgets that they’d better start liking Stilton or they can make their fucking cars in their own country”

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is EfH_2m8WoAIxlZQ.jpeg — The easiest deal in history

You may well ask, why is Liz standing up for cheese? Well, it may have escaped your attention, but we have not done a significant trade deal since we “left” on January 31st, 2020, although we all know that Liam Fox said that getting trade deals was to be the easiest thing in history. Liz needs to bring in the bacon (and brie) pronto, so that we can say we did a better deal with Japan than the EU did … because Stilton is included. Makes sense, eh?

The Stilton Clause” is said to include unlimited supplies of Cheesy Wotsits in exchange for the ceremonial inclusion of a Torii at Cheddar Gorge and its use on premium brand Cheddar:

Moveable Feast

In other news, the much vaunted moveable barrier for the M20 gridlock in Kent promised for 31 December 2020 by Grant Shapps is not going to be ready until 2022. Shapps was heard to say that this would not be a problem, as we would improvise with wedges of cheese in the two year intervening period. Here is an artists’ impression of the SS (Stilton System) in action during the Brexit food shortages.

As Boris will say:

Sadly Corona, Flu and Flooding are natural phenomena. Brexit is a man-made disaster and we don’t need to add it to the Winter of Discontent. We must avoid a BRITASTROPHE.

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With or Without EU

by

Peter Cook

In this Irish special we focus on the U2 question posed by Liz Truss “With or Without EU”. It becomes clear that she still hasn’t found what she’s looking for with Brexit.

As things continue to become more bizarre by the day in Brexit Britain, we focus on the Irish question in this fake version of The Mail on Sunday.

FACT: Liz Truss is prepared to risk the breakdown of the Good Friday Agreement and 30 years of peace on the island of Ireland to improve her chances of becoming PM. In 2019 the Conservatives said that peace in Northern Ireland and independence for Scotland were prices worth paying to “Get Brexit Done”. One of the few truths they told.

FACT : It was the BRITISH government that signed the Brexit deal which required the border in the sea between Britain and the island of Ireland. Blaming the EU is simply gaslighting. We are a third country and, to quote the Brexiteers we should “Get over it”

FACT : ‘Sir’ David Frost read the deal and then ignored it in order to “Get Brexit Done”. This problem is ENTIRELY of our own Government’s making and Frost’s squirming is pathetic. He’s not even elected.

FACT : Boris Johnson said that a border between Ireland and Britain would only happen over his dead body. We note that he is still alive.

FACT : The majority of people and politicians in Northern Ireland want to keep the Northern Ireland Protocol. Some 70% of people voted for parties that support peace on the island or Ireland.

FACT : ‘Sir’ David Frost is now pretending he was railroaded into signing the deal. The word scum is not bad enough for someone who refuses to own his Brexshit.

FACT : Johnson needs this distraction to ensure people don’t think about unnecessary COVID deaths, Leadership failures via Partygate, the cost of living crisis, Brexit carnage, Levelling down, NI rises, Pension unlocking, killing bees, killing kids by encouraging them to eat more junk food, the list goes on.

FICTION : Whereas Coleen Rooney has not shagged Johnson, Arlene would do anything to restore the troubles to Northern Ireland, including a performance with Dolly Parton if one could be arranged.

Whilst the EU are the adults in the room, they should respond to this childish behaviour by our adapted children in Government.

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Paying for Social Care

by

Peter Cook

There is a widespread view that we must pay more in National Insurance to cover shortfalls in social care and healthcare. All of this has been hung on the hook of COVID, as if it anaesthetises the arguments or any debate. I would like to question the notion that we must raise NI to raise £13 billion as there are many more routes to raise the required capital. In fact it would be easy for this Government to raise the capital without using the crude instrument of NI, which selectively targets those least able to pay the tax, whilst protecting old age pensioners, many of whom vote Tory. But fear not OAPs. Rishi is not paying for social care. Rather, he will be coming for your triple lock soon …

Option 1 – The Brexit Bounce

Robert Dyer coined the phrase “The Brexit Bounce”. Remember we were getting £350 million back from the EU EVERY WEEK. Do the math. That’s £18.2 BILLION every year into perpetuity. So, in one fell swoop, we can pay for social care with the Brexit Bounce, except the £350 million has not materialised.

Write to your MP and ask them where the Brexit Bonus for the NHS is. After all, we voted for it.

Option 2 – The COVID Corruption Fund

Dido Harding spent £37 BILLION on Test and Trace, much of which was either non-existent or faulty. Let’s be generous and suppose that only 20% of the project was fictional or faulty. That’s a cool £7.4 BILLION towards the social care uplift. Then there is the PPE fraud …

Write to your MP and ask them to sue the companies that made faulty or non-existent Test and Trace.

Option 3 – The Tory Spaffing Fund

Liz Truss took a lonely trip to Australia in the Government A321 Airbus at a cost of £500 000. Small beer I hear you say. But these trophy flights could help pay for the NI hike !! What’s wrong with Ryanair? Or BA if you wanted to be truly patriotic at a cost of around £4000 to Oz.

Rishi Sunak seems to have cancelled £4.3 BILLION of fraudulent COVID loans. That would be a nice contribution to the social care fund? Closing tax loopholes would make enough funds to fund good quality services not just care and allow for less taxation on those that can least afford it. With thanks to Gail Jones.

Then there are the small ticket items but yet every little helps as they say at Tesco. The No 10 wallpaper bill (£840 per roll), Priti Patel’s Eyelashes, Suitcases of wine, the Royal Yachts at a snip of £250 Million. Everything adds up.

What other spaffing options exist? Write to me in the comments and I will add your point with a credit to your input.

Write to your MP and ask them to review the use and need for the Government Airbus.

Option 4 – Brexit to the rescue

Brexit has cost £128 billion so far, or £727 per second. Although it would not be straightforward, stopping Brexit would give us access to all the social car,e by stopping Britain bleeding to death. Here’s a helpful chart to show what you can buy with £128 257 825 862 in case you have never thought of “how to spend it”.

Write to your MP and ask them question the spending on Brexit.

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