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Category: Women

Telegravda

CPC 2023

CPC 2023 : Conservative Party Chaos 2023

Our front page of today’s Telegravda covers some of the main stories from the CPC 2023 (Conservative Party Chaos 2023). Yet another Tory donor, Richard Walker, CEO of Iceland, has resigned, stating that the Conservative party does not conserve. Doubtless another tree will be felled or a bully dog scandal be started to distract a public punch drunk by Brexit chaos, cost of living crisis, energy prices, NHS vandalism, pension triple lock, sending women and gays to Rwanda etc. As always I find it essential with these satirical front pages to produce a fact and fiction decoder below, as some people no longer understand the difference between Tory lies and real life. If you enjoy this satirical edition, you will love our book Private Eyelines. Find it here.

Telegravda
Click to read Private Eyelines.

FACT : GB News has the dubious accolade of being the so called news channel with the most fake news. Endorsed by Liz Truss today, surely the kiss of death. Here are six ways you can boycott fake GB News.

FAKE NEWS – Therese Coffey to ban the non-existent bendy banana EU regulation !! Praise the Lord.

FACT : Lee Anderson presents as a journalist on GB News but interviews Tory politicians. This is quite unacceptable but OFCOM have no teeth to deal with this gross abuse of power. GB News is thus a 24/7 Tory party campaigning platform and not a news channel. 30p Lee interviewed Suella Braveman after she attended a far right rally in the USA. Watch Led by Donkeys’ sting operation on the underground story of Suella’s wicked games. She should be jailed for this as a bare minimum.

FACT : Braverman has blamed women and gays for illegal immigration when the numbers do not support her random claims. Even a bunch of senior Tory MPs and some ministers have denounced her for her statement demonising women and LGBTQ people.

FICTION : No boxing matches are planned at the Tory Party Conference in Manchester, but the Tories are fighting like cats in a sack as the party takes their final breaths. On the other hand Liz Truss did her levelling up best to put more nails in Rishi Sunak’s coffin.

FICTION : The Rev Awdry has not taken on the contract to deliver HS2 (Hysterical Sunak II), nor has Ringo Starr locked Rishi Sunak in a tunnel. Nor has Thomas the Tank engine applied to Suella Braverman for gender reassignment …

HS2
I think the Tories deserve their fate, don’t you?

FACT : Rishi Sunak’s Meat Tax is FICTION. Liz Truss is not saving British beef, pork or bully sausage dogs. She is however on patrol to get the top job again. It’s unbelievable as she broke the economy after her 46 days in office. But, of course, The Truss is undeterred by this catastrophe. This is the power of the Brexit unicorns on Tory hopefuls. Badenoch and Morduant are also on manoeuvres at the Conservative Party Conference alongside Priti Patel who still seeks revenge on Sunak. Meanwhile Sunak desperately tries to fight his ground using the same arguments about Brexit freedoms by trying to become the motorist’s friend on potholes and speed bumps.

Torassic Park
Let the games begin … at Torassic Park.

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Tory party policy is to fill the news with not just a stream of dead cats, but a veritable tsunami of them. Lies about meat taxes, dustbins and so on. And it was only a couple of weeks ago when RAAC was occupying the headlines. They rely on the speed of the news feed to never get held to account for their sins. Don’t let them get away with it. Keep on reminding them of ‘unfinished business’. And don’t forget that Brexit is at the root of many of these problems and lies.

RAAC and Roll
Just two weeks on and airbrushed from mainstream media …
The Brexit Iceberg
The Brexit Iceberg.

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Private Eyelines

French Letter

This is a fantastic french letter from one of our Brexit satirists. Feel free to use or adapt it for your own purpose. Find your MPs e-mail at Write to Them.

Dear xxx,

I have a few questions for you:

1. Could you please tell me why Chris Pincher hasn’t resigned? Is it because the serial groper has been kept on by the PM because a by-election would almost certainly mean another catastrophic result for the Conservative Party?

2. When Boris Johnson was Foreign Secretary he was interrupted in his office getting a blow job by his mistress Carrie (now his wife). Is this in your view a sacking offence? Or should we just move on (again)?

3. The person who interrupted Carrie giving Boris a blow job in his office whilst supposedly at work is alleged to be Gavin Williamson – who some in the media and elsewhere are saying he is incompetent and was given a thoroughly undeserved knighthood to keep his silence. Can you shed any light on this please?

4. Has Jacob Rees-Mogg found any ‘Benefits of Brexit’ yet? I know he’s struggling, so you must be incandescent with rage?

As one of your constituents I am desperate to know where you stand on these issues, so an early reply would be appreciated.

Many thanks

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Private Eyelines
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Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com

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Tory Hub

Tory Hub

It seems that some Tory MPs were caught watching porn on “Tory Hub” whilst working. To those who find politics boring, I agree that it is and watching almost anything would be better than being a politician. I also don’t much care whether they were watching Neighbours or porn. The point of the matter is that they are paid to do a job and that should be the object of their work. If any people reading this were caught watching The Waltons, Eastenders, Naked Attraction or Porn Hub whilst at work, it would be a sacking offence. So it should for them.

Can you seriously vote Tory at next week’s local elections given that they prefer to watch porn on “Tory Hub” rather than do their work? Seriously? Neil Parish must resign without delay.

The meeting came amid reports that dozens of MPs, including three Cabinet ministers, are facing allegations of sexual misconduct referred to the Independent Complaints and Grievances Scheme (ICGS).

Asked about the newspaper’s original report at Prime Minister’s Questions, Boris Johnson agreed that sexual misconduct would be “grounds for dismissal” for ministers. How about corporate manslaughter of 20 000 ++ people in care homes by the Prime Minister and his Cabinet?

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Whilst we are on the subject, here’s a few choice videos – they are not pornographic by the way but You Tube deemed them PG rated:

Jacob Rees Moog – THE BREX-KIP FAR-RIGHT FAR-AGE DOMINATRIX MIX

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True and Fair

True and Fair

I was privileged to attend the launch of the True and Fair Party today by Gina Miller, devoted to reform of our politics and to end the cosy duopoly of Conservative and Labour. Find out more at True and Fair. Truly differentiated from Labour in saying that business is not a dirty word. Refreshingly willing to oppose Conservative sleaze, law breaking and a slide into an elected dictatorship. Willing to say the word Brexit, now banned in Parliament and in polite English political discourse. Brave enough to stand for a reform in our voting system. True and Fair ask you to join them in this endeavour to demand change if you feel politically homeless. I feel that’s all I need say for now. We simply need to be True and Fair.

Dead Cat Special

Dead Cat Special

In this Dead Cat Special, “The Daily Maul” features the news that our Government want to you read whilst the nation sleepwalks deeper into fascism every day ….

Dead Cat Special

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