CPC 2023 : Conservative Party Chaos 2023
Our front page of today’s Telegravda covers some of the main stories from the CPC 2023 (Conservative Party Chaos 2023). Yet another Tory donor, Richard Walker, CEO of Iceland, has resigned, stating that the Conservative party does not conserve. Doubtless another tree will be felled or a bully dog scandal be started to distract a public punch drunk by Brexit chaos, cost of living crisis, energy prices, NHS vandalism, pension triple lock, sending women and gays to Rwanda etc. As always I find it essential with these satirical front pages to produce a fact and fiction decoder below, as some people no longer understand the difference between Tory lies and real life. If you enjoy this satirical edition, you will love our book Private Eyelines. Find it here.
FACT : GB News has the dubious accolade of being the so called news channel with the most fake news. Endorsed by Liz Truss today, surely the kiss of death. Here are six ways you can boycott fake GB News.
FAKE NEWS – Therese Coffey to ban the non-existent bendy banana EU regulation !! Praise the Lord.
FACT : Lee Anderson presents as a journalist on GB News but interviews Tory politicians. This is quite unacceptable but OFCOM have no teeth to deal with this gross abuse of power. GB News is thus a 24/7 Tory party campaigning platform and not a news channel. 30p Lee interviewed Suella Braveman after she attended a far right rally in the USA. Watch Led by Donkeys’ sting operation on the underground story of Suella’s wicked games. She should be jailed for this as a bare minimum.
FACT : Braverman has blamed women and gays for illegal immigration when the numbers do not support her random claims. Even a bunch of senior Tory MPs and some ministers have denounced her for her statement demonising women and LGBTQ people.
FICTION : No boxing matches are planned at the Tory Party Conference in Manchester, but the Tories are fighting like cats in a sack as the party takes their final breaths. On the other hand Liz Truss did her levelling up best to put more nails in Rishi Sunak’s coffin.
FICTION : The Rev Awdry has not taken on the contract to deliver HS2 (Hysterical Sunak II), nor has Ringo Starr locked Rishi Sunak in a tunnel. Nor has Thomas the Tank engine applied to Suella Braverman for gender reassignment …
FACT : Rishi Sunak’s Meat Tax is FICTION. Liz Truss is not saving British beef, pork or bully sausage dogs. She is however on patrol to get the top job again. It’s unbelievable as she broke the economy after her 46 days in office. But, of course, The Truss is undeterred by this catastrophe. This is the power of the Brexit unicorns on Tory hopefuls. Badenoch and Morduant are also on manoeuvres at the Conservative Party Conference alongside Priti Patel who still seeks revenge on Sunak. Meanwhile Sunak desperately tries to fight his ground using the same arguments about Brexit freedoms by trying to become the motorist’s friend on potholes and speed bumps.
Tory party policy is to fill the news with not just a stream of dead cats, but a veritable tsunami of them. Lies about meat taxes, dustbins and so on. And it was only a couple of weeks ago when RAAC was occupying the headlines. They rely on the speed of the news feed to never get held to account for their sins. Don’t let them get away with it. Keep on reminding them of ‘unfinished business’. And don’t forget that Brexit is at the root of many of these problems and lies.