Tag Archives: Britain

Ask Elvis

Updated on

27/05/2024 by author

Please read GE FIRST

I bumped into someone I used to know at open mic jam sessions the other week. I knew him as ‘shy Elvis’. A diffident individual who would only perform Elvis songs and then only after extensive rehearsal. At the time (maybe 10 years ago), he seemed intensely nervous and rather shy. He inhabited the persona of Elvis Presley with brylcreemed hair, sideburns and a rockabilly sense of fashion. Rooted in the 1950s but probably born in the late 70s or early 80s, he was something of an enigma.

Pump it up

I was in a local pharmacy where a much older Elvis was haranguing the local pharmacist. I could not help but listen as he had raised his voice considerably. It was clear that he was on a whole cocktail of medicines for anxiety, depression and a palette of what could be described as 21st century malaises. Several items of his medication were unavailable and the pharmacist was patiently explaining this to him. He was shouting “but I have to have medicine x, I have to have medicine y”. He became more aggressive towards the female pharmacist and she went off to investigate the possibility of securing supplies.

Micro Brexorcism

I interjected: “Hello Elvis”.

He did a double take. I reminded him about our acquaintance at jam sessions. He recognised me, so we had just a sliver of rapport.

I went on “Just to explain, she cannot get you the medicines as there are massive shortages due to Brexit”.

He barked back, having not really listened “I don’t care, I just want my drugs”.

I repeated calmly “Brexit is causing your shortages. She cannot help that”. The pharmacist had returned by that time and nodded privately to me.

Elvis then shouted again at her “I just came to get my drugs and I’m now getting a lecture about politics”.

I replied “I’m just trying to explain why you cannot get your medication”. The pharmacist nodded and then asked him to come back in a few days.

I would hazard an educated guess from my previous contact with “Elvis” that he probably voted for Brexit or perhaps did not vote at all and became cross that I had in effect connected his lived experience to the root cause of his problems. This is what we must do as part of a much longer Brexorcism process.

Ask Elvis …

Keep asking Brexiteers difficult questions using every opportunity.

Learn how to do Brexorcisms here.

Be gentle with your subjects / victims. Some will be surprised or have no clue. Do take care. Some become angry when the truth bomb explodes.

Suspicious minds

For a bit of light relief, here’s my appearance on BBC 2’s Ask Elvis segment on the Steve Wright Show. This is NOT the same Elvis by the way.

Posted in Brexit, Brexorcism, Education, Europe | Tagged Brexit, Britain, Britastrophe, Rejoin EU | Leave a reply

General Election

Updated on

26/05/2024 by author

Peter Cook

There’s a lot to be done in the next six weeks in the run up to the General Election aka Independence Day. We have a one time opportunity to change the course of the future … this will not wait !! I am spreading my effort across a number of initiatives to meet several goals :

To remove the Tory majority and end the chaos of 14 years of Tory disaster capitalism jet propelled by Brexit.

To introduce more plurality in Parliament and make sure that Brexit and Joining the EU anew remains on the agenda.

To this end, we have several collaborative projects which you must join:

Get leafletting

To get a minimum of 500 000 of our ABC (Anyone But Conservative) leaflets out to various constituencies. Please order yours NOW by mailing me at reboot@brexitrage.com Guide prices : 500 = £42, 2000 = £67, 5000 £100 etc. These are non-party campaigning leaflets, perfectly legal to use alongside regular campaigning. We need a small army of people to get these leaflets out. If you cannot deliver leaflets but want to get the Tories out, please send money so that we can buy the needed leaflets and resource distribution. By sponsoring others, you will get digital copies of the leaflet to use on social media and in other communications.

Support this project

Boots on the ground – Epsom, Ewell and Leatherhead

We will support Helen Maguire on the ground and online in Epsom, Ewell and Leatherhead. The area is Chris “Failing” Grayling’s constituency and the new Tory candidate is a Trump supporter with a reliable track record of losing elections!! Having worked on the ground in Epsom, Ewell and Leatherhead for Gina Miller, I have determined that the area is a two horse race between The Lib Dems and one nation Tories. As such and having done some due diligence on the situation I can no longer support Gina Miller’s party in Epsom, as I believe it will split the vote to stop the Tories. To help the Lib Dems to win this seat in the blue wall on the ground, online or both, please mail me at reboot@brexitrage.com

I plan a meeting to discuss the GE at the Ewell Tap on Thursday May 30th. This is the same day as BBC Question Time.

Boots on the ground – Rejoin Party

We will support the Rejoin Party in Sidcup and Bexley and in other places where they are standing. Rejoin are fresh from a massive vote in the London Assembly Elections and will publish their target seats soon. Who’s in for this?

Boots on the ground – The Climate Party

The Climate Party are a small party with an excellent strategy to target centre-right voters who are concerned about sustainable development and environment but with a pragmatic view of how Britain may seize the initiative from zero carbon politics. Ed Gemmill leads the party. They seek candidates and volunteers and are willing to pay the deposit for standing in July 4th. See Change the Climate. Ed is himself targeting “Brexit Hardman” Steve Baker’s constituency of High Wycombe, a worthy target for a man who has done so much damage to Britain. If you can help in target seats below, get in touch via info@theclimate.party We are especially interested in candidates in the following areas below but if you have vim and vigour, please apply anyway.

Swap My Vote

Maximise your vote in an unfair system by swapping it. It’s perfectly legal and decent in a broken FPTP system. Find our more at Swap My Vote.

Collaborate to win

Join us at 8 pm Monday 27 May on ZOOM via this link to discuss plans to change the course of history at the election.

Posted in Brexit, Brexorcism, Britain, Elections, Europe, Gina Miller, Rejoin EU | Tagged Brexit, Britain, Britastrophe, Conservatives, General Election, Rishi Sunak | 3 Replies

Change the Climate

Updated on

26/05/2024 by author

Peter Cook

Before reading the below, read GE

Are you passionate about fighting climate change? Do you believe that innovative climate solutions can drive economic prosperity and create a sustainable future for our nation? If so, The Climate Party is looking for dedicated individuals like you to stand as candidates and / or volunteers in the General Election on July 4th. We must register you by June 4th so please read this TODAY and get in touch if interested via info@theclimate.party

Why stand for The Climate Party?

1. Be a Voice for Change: As a candidate for The Climate Party, you will have the platform to champion bold, science-based policies that address the climate crisis while promoting economic growth. You will be a voice for a vision that combines environmental stewardship with economic prosperity.

2. Shape Policy and Impact Lives: Your candidacy will play a crucial role in shaping policies that can reduce carbon emissions, promote renewable energy, and protect our natural resources. You will have the opportunity to make a tangible impact on the lives of your constituents by advocating for a sustainable and prosperous future.

3. Lead the Economic Transition: We believe that climate action is the key to unlocking economic potential. Our platform is designed to stimulate green innovation, attract investment in sustainable technologies, and create a wealth of new jobs in the clean energy sector. As a candidate, you will lead the charge in driving this economic transition.

4. Empower Your Community: Running with The Climate Party means empowering your community to take action on climate change. You will engage with local residents, raise awareness about our mission, and inspire others to support policies that benefit both people and the planet.

What we offer our candidates:

We pay your candidate registration fee of £500 as a bare minimum.
Comprehensive Training and Support: We provide all the training you need to run a successful campaign, including workshops on campaign strategy, public speaking, and media engagement.
A Network of Passionate Advocates: Join a community of like-minded individuals who are dedicated to making a difference. Share ideas, collaborate on initiatives, and build lasting relationships.
Strategic Campaign Tools: Access to campaign tools, data analytics, and digital platforms to help you connect with voters and effectively communicate your message.
Guidance from Experienced Mentors: Benefit from the wisdom and experience of seasoned political leaders and advisors to help you with your campaign.

How to get involved:

1. Express Your Interest: Reach out to us with your intent to run. We welcome candidates from all backgrounds who share our commitment to climate action and economic prosperity.

2. Attend Our Candidate Workshop: Participate in our introductory workshop to learn more about our platform, campaign strategies, and the support we offer our candidates.

3. Develop Your Campaign Plan: Work with our team to develop a tailored campaign plan that outlines your goals, key messages, and strategies for engaging with voters in your constituency.

4. Launch Your Campaign: With our support, launch your campaign and start connecting with your community. We will be with you every step of the way, providing the tools and resources you need to succeed.

We are especially interested in candidates in the following areas below but if you have vim and vigour, please apply anyway. This is the of the climate deniers from Net Zero Scrutiny Group and the Labour MP from GWPF. Fancy a crack at Lee Anderson, Bridgen or The Minister for common sense?

Take the first step towards leadership

Climate change is one of the defining issues of our time, but it also offers a unique opportunity for leadership and innovation. By standing as a candidate for The Climate Party, you will be at the forefront of a movement dedicated to creating a sustainable and economically prosperous future.

Don’t wait—step up and lead. Your vision, passion, and commitment can help us turn the tide on climate change and drive meaningful progress.

Contact Us: info@theclimate.party

Website: The Climate Party

Together, let’s create a brighter, more prosperous future for our nation. Stand with The Climate Party and be the change we need.

Posted in Climate Disaster, Elections, Environment | Tagged Britain, Climate, Elections, Environment | 1 Reply

Labour’s flawed Brexit policy

Updated on

23/05/2024 by author

Peter Cook

Labour’s flawed Brexit policy

This from Paul Cawthorne in Italy, an economist, international consultant and long-term member of R eboot Britain. Image by Patricia Paton, Editor Bylines Scotland, from the related article Hard Labour, which you shoud read in conjunction with this piece.

Labour’s current “Make Brexit Work” policy is seriously flawed and, at best, will have no positive or negative impacts on their immediate electoral prospects. Labour is going to win power because the Tories are imploding after 14 damaging years (including Brexit) and Labour are now more trusted on all the key bread-and-butter issues (the NHS, the economy etc). Labour will win the general election despite, not because of, its unnecessary “no rejoining” red lines. If Starmer left the door open to rejoining the single market and customs union he would still be winning the election by a large margin.

Key factors

1. Poor advice based on outdated (2019) focus groups and internal polling data.

2. Overestimation of the enduring support for a hard Tory Brexit in the so-called Red Wall. Confirmed by John Curtice.

3. Underestimation of the the impact of Brexit’s evident failure on public opinion. See also The Sun’s reaction to the £5 Billion wasted on border checks just yesterday.

4. Underestimation of the impact of demographic changes on the electorate.

5. Overblown fear of the reaction of Tory tabloids to any perceived watering down of Brexit. See The Sun yesterday and the Telegraph.

6. Misplaced belief that “Make Brexit Work” will be a convincing winning 3-word slogan in 2024.

7. Nostalgic belief that Labour is still essentially a “working class” party and needs to prioritise at all costs the views and prejudices of these traditional “core supporters”.

Things to do

The run up to an election is a critical time to influence politicians. Make sure you tell your Labour MP or candidate that your support is conditional on a change on policy.

Share relevant articles that accord with Paul’s analysis.

Expect better. Remainers are all too often on the back foot.

Postscript

I ambushed Keir Starmer this morning (23.05.24) at Gillingham Football ground with a message about Brexit and Rejoining the EU. It went down rather well with Labour activists. A few locals scowled as is normal in the area when Brexit is mentioned. My message was short as there are always just a few seconds to make your point in such circumstances : “Brexit is a game of two halves. Let’s make sure Mr Starmer is not on the losing side in the Euros”.

Hannibal Lecter Brexit T-Shirt — A warning from the future for Keir Starmer.

Posted in Brexit, Britain, Elections, Keir Starmer, Labour | Tagged Brexit, Britain, Labour, Rejoin EU | Leave a reply

On the buses

Updated on

23/05/2024 by author

Peter Cook

In a complete change, this article is NOT about Brexit. Instead, this is about the seemingly mundane issue of OAP bus passes!! Once a week I indulge myself and take a bus ride to Maidstone to play music in an open mic jam session. I used to travel by bicycle and train, but recently got an old git’s bus pass. I discovered that the journey is almost door to door, takes less time than the bicycle / train combo, I can get the last bus at 23.15 when the train leaves at 23.03 making it all a bit less rushed and the journey costs me nothing … or so I thought …

I have to give a bit of context for those that don’t live here first: The 101 bus runs from Gillingham in Kent to Maidstone in Kent. It is run by Arriva bus. Gillingham is part of the Medway unitary authority whereas Maidstone is part of Kent County Council. There is no border control when the bus passes from Medway to Kent and vice versa. Given what took place the other day, perhaps there should be (joke).

Medway Council’s OAP bus scheme tells me that I must not travel before 9.00 am but can travel freely all day from then on. This is the same as in London which is much busier. Kent County Council’s OAP bus scheme says that I can not travel free after 11.00 pm. You may be thinking “perhaps the buses are crowded?” NO – there were just 7 people on my bus and it is fairly empty most times that I have used it. You may also be thinking “perhaps they have a night bus scheme?” NO – as far as I can tell there are only buses after 11 pm in town centres. Only one runs to Gillingham and another to Tunbridge Wells.

On the evening in question I got on as usual and the young driver said that my pass was not valid after 11 pm. I explained that it was a Medway Bus Pass and the T&C’s indicated otherwise. I said I would find them and show him. A couple of stops later, I did so. He continued to argue, saying that the bus was in Kent and not Medway. I explained that the bus had come from Medway, is garaged in Medway and I am from Medway. I offered to get some money from a cashpoint on my return to the destination. He accepted that.

A few more stops on and he stopped the bus, got out and made a phone call (presumably to his boss). This took several minutes and I presume he hoped that this would irritate the other passengers and that they would apply social pressure to me. They did not. He got back in the bus and went through the same arguments and I in return repeated my offer to pay him at the end point. He carried on driving.

We arrived in Chatham bus station and I asked him to wait whilst I got some money. He refused to do so, so I got off and got a local bus home. The driver of the second bus thought the whole episode ridiculous given the fare lost (£2.00) and the fact that none of the buses have passengers at this time of night and so on.

Should Kent County Council operate a border post between Medway and Kent to collect the £2.00? OR

Should Kent County Council bring Esther McVey down, the so called Minister for Lanyards to declare the night time charges void? OR

Should I stay at home, drink Ovaltine, empty my bed pan and colostomy bag (joke) in the evenings instead of going out? Is this the end game?

Postscript

I called Arriva and they confirmed that my pass was valid until midnight in Kent and Medway. The driver was wrong as is the person who has commented on this article. See Arriva. The chap at Arriva was very nice and told me that they recently recruited a number of young drivers. He promised to make sure that the driver understood the policy.

None of the other bus drivers have charged me since I have been using the service of late.

I called Kent County Council and they are officially confused, despite my pointing out that they have virtually no buses after 23.00 and virtually no passengers !!! Arriva have a different rule for Kent / Medway compared with Kent / Surrey, not that one could get to Surrey from Kent at 23.00 !!

Some people on a bus forum think I simply don’t want to pay the £2.00 and think I’m lucky to have a bus service at all. I don’t care if it’s £2.00 or £200 – I expect things to be right. It’s utterly ridiculous – for 30 years I have heard the term ‘joined-up thinking’ in public services. We need joined up doing.

Postscript II

I was reminded to write this post about buses the other day by some chap on Facebook who thought that I ascribed everything bad in the world as being down to Brexit. I don’t. I had replied to a post by the Labour party that many of our problems had their roots partly or wholly in Brexit. Richard Carbyn had replied below suggesting that a lack of flowers, parking price rises, disappearing road sweepers and a bad bus service were all the products of Brexit. They are not and yet Brexit induced austerity and lack of people who wish to work will have contributed to England’s decline now I think about it! Back to Brexit tomorrow !!

I imagine Richard will enjoy this clip from On The Buses. Presumably he wants things moved back to the 1950’s? Watneys’ Red Barrel, Ricketts, Thalidomide, faggots, straight glasses, pints, pecks and stones … that sort of thing.

Posted in Britain, Education | Tagged Brexit, Britain | 6 Replies

London Calling

Updated on

06/05/2024 by author

Peter Cook

With your help, the Rejoin Party retained their deposit and came 6^th overall in the London Assembly elections. Support also fell away from UKIP and the far right with Britain First and The Heritage party losing their deposits This is a wonderful result and your votes and shares of the campaign undoubtedly contributed to this result. A big thank you !!!

See the note below from the leader of the Rejoin Party. Why not join Rejoin for the next battle aka the General Election?

Hey Peter,

Just wanted to say a big “thank you” for all your help and support during the election campaign.

You may have heard we managed to keep our deposit for the first time ever (🥳) – by just 611 votes!

What you may not have heard is that this forces the BBC to redesignate us a “party with significant support” in London (one of just 6 parties! Us and the “usual suspects”). This in turn means over the next 4 years we should be able to force the BBC to have “reverse Brexit” commentator on in London at least (in theory!)

Anyway, thanks once again for all your help and support – those 611 crucial votes only came out of our very low budget campaign!

Best regards,

Rich

Join us next Monday 13 May on ZOOM at 8 pm

p.s. Our leaflets are ready to order to finish the job on the Tory party btw.

Posted in Brexit, Britain, Rejoin EU | Tagged Brexit, Britain, Rejoin EU | 2 Replies

London Assembly for Rejoin

Updated on

01/05/2024 by author

Peter Cook

The London Assembly elections take place soon. If you vote strategically, you will be able to send a strong message to the whole of the country that we wish to Rejoin the EU. This will not affect the election of Sadiq Khan as Mayor. Let me explain how:

Three votes

You have three votes : Tier 1 : Mayor, Tier 2 : constituency London Assembly Member, and Tier 3 : London-wide Assembly Members. Each election operates under different rules and therefore you don’t have to split the vote for Major in order to give your third vote to the Rejoin Party candidates. Tier 1 and 2 operate under the First Past the Post (FPTP) system, whereas Tier 3 operates under a D’Hondt based proportional system. This is where Rejoin candidates are standing. Thus a vote for Rejoin is NON-DESTRUCTIVE in terms of the vote for London Mayor. Read the rules at The Electoral Commission.

Vote to Rejoin EU on May 2

Show your support

Help The Rejoin Party at their campaign events:

Fri 12 April : Soho and Fitzrovia : 4:00 PM – 7:00 PM Soho Square Gardens W1D 4NR

Sat 13 April : Notting Hill and Portobello Road :11:00 AM – 2:00 PM Portobello Road Market, near Notting Hill Gate W11 1AN

Sun 14 April : Hackney: 11:00 AM – 2:00 PM: Hackney Central, Broadway Market E8 4PH

Mon 15 April : University College London (UCL) and Surrounding Area: 12:00 PM – 2:00 PM Malet Place, near UCL Main Quad WC1E 6BT

Wed 17 April : London School of Economics (LSE) and Surrounding Area: 12:00 PM – 2:00 PM Sheffield Street, outside LSE Old Building WC2A 2AE

Thur 18 April : Islington: 5:00 PM – 8:00 PM: Angel Central Shopping Centre N1 0PS

Sat 20 April : Shoreditch and Hoxton: 2:00 PM – 5:00 PM Shoreditch High Street, near Boxpark E1 6JE

Sun 21 April : South Bank and Waterloo: 11:00 AM – 2:00 PM Near the Southbank Centre Book Market SE1 8XX

Fri 26 April : King’s Cross and St Pancras International: 7:00 AM – 10:00 AM Near the entrance to the international departures N1C 4QP

Sat 27 April : Camden Market and Surrounds: 1:00 PM – 4:00 PM Camden Lock Place, near the food market NW1 8AF

Mon 29 April Kings College London (KCL) : 12.00 – 2.00 PM Surrey Street WC2R 2LS

Tues 30 April London School of Economics 12.00 – 2.00 PM Sheffield Street WC2A 2AE

Wed 1 May University College London (UCL) 12.00 – 2.00 PM Malet Street WC1E 6BT

Use your 3rd vote for Rejoin party candidates, without splitting an anti-Brexit vote for Sadiq Khan

Learn about the candidates

Posted in Brexit, Britain, Elections, Rejoin EU, Sadiq Khan | Tagged Brexit, Britain, London Assembly, Rejoin EU | 5 Replies

Vive La France

Updated on

01/05/2024 by author

Peter Cook

I took a rare holiday in Normandy last week. The stark differences between Brexit Britain and France were plain. The border crossing was uneventful until we returned to British customs on the way back, with an amount of petty bureaucracy. We had chosen to go by Le Shuttle to avoid potential delays on the M20 / M2 which forced the cost up, but it was more relaxed overall.

On the first evening, we went shopping to get some provisions. I was struck by the price of cheese (inexpensive) and bought a bottle of Malbec for €1.99 !!! It was surprisingly good and would retail from £9 upwards here, probably more after Brexit border checks are introduced which may add 60% to the price of imported goods. Oh well, it’s what they wanted.

But what really struck me was the sense of community and state of high streets in French towns and villages. More so because I watched a film of “English Patriots” saying that they had no identity, because we have no nursery rhymes, have to drink coffee and are no longer allowed to eat fish and chips or meat and two veg. Painfully funny reportage by Max Robespierre below:

By contrast, I noted that entire families dine out in the towns I visited, including children, who ate real food, not fast food. I hardly saw any children playing computer games in cafes with their parents. Instead they had family conversations. A common complaint of the English Patriots is that the high street has been taken away from them. It’s no wonder when many of them shop at Tesco etc. In the high streets of Normandy, it was not a constant stream of kebab joints, vaping huts and coffee outlets. Whilst the butcher, baker and candlestick maker are absent from most English towns, there was a rich diversity of shops in the French towns. Although there are supermarkets, they are not of the massive size that are allowed in Britain. I sense a very different approach to town planning and culture. The very culture that the English patriots crave is present … in France!! Perhaps Margaret Thatcher was right when she said that “there is no such thing as (English) society”.

Britain seems to have invested in the industrialisation of high streets / consumption and much of what these people feel they have lost is the product of this process. The faux nostalgia of the English Brexit patriots is painfully summed up by Billy Bragg in his epic song “Full English Brexit”.

Posted in Brexit, Britain, Britastrophe, Europe | Tagged Brexit, Britain, France | 2 Replies

The Chronicles of Brexit

Updated on

23/04/2024 by author

Peter Cook

This is the opening prelude to a new book on Brexit and Rejoining the EU. Aptly titled “The Chronicles of Brexit”, combining the notion of the fantasy world of Narnia together with the chronic condition of political paralysis.

Brexit didn’t happen

I still hear Remainers telling me that Brexit is done. They have fallen prey to the kool aid put forward by the Brexiteers, that Brexit was a project and not a process. A project has a finite end point such as building the Channel Tunnel whereas a process continues. As I write in 2024, Brexit continues to wreak a slow chronic infusion of damage socially, economically, politically, environmentally, technologically and legally. We hardly need to rehearse the impacts here, from the gradual departure of businesses, industries and brains from UK plc, the rating of Britain as a ‘problem child’ regarding inward investment, to the unsavoury sights and smells of shit in our rivers and the jubilation by a few residual racists at the joy of drowning migrants. This is Brexit Britain. It’s nothing to be proud of.

Many of the chronic impacts predicted in these chronicles have come to pass since I wrote the original articles collected in this book. Worst of all, we are still dogged by the parliamentary paralysis that made Brexit possible. Keir Starmer continues to spout the vacuous football chant ‘make Brexit work’ to charm people with feeble minds, when all the data suggests that he could carve out a leadership position and win an election comfortably by stating that ‘Brexit isn’t working’. The Lib Dems continue to suggest that we could rejoin the EU ‘when the time is right’. Of course, that time will never come … Only the Scottish National Party (SNP) are brave enough to lead on the need for independence from Brexit Albion.

Brexit’s Breaking Britain

A little while back, I designed a t-shirt with a picture of Hannibal Lecter and the slogan ‘Brexit consumes all its children’ with a list : Cameron, May, Johnson, Truss, Sunak, Starmer. I predict that Starmer will also be consumed by the offspring of Brexit, perhaps with some fava beans and a nice Chianti … the offspring of Brexit include the cost of living, ramped up concerns about immigration, a broken NHS, business failures and so on. Of course I was hammered by my left-wing colleagues on Twitter, who have gotten into such a stir with Tory fascism that they are now manically possessed by the idea that we must get Starmer in, then we can talk about Brexit. I hope they are right but fear they are not. See Scottish Bylines as to why I say this.

Even 18^th century retro-Latin imperialist adventure capitalist Jacob Rees-Mogg bragged that we will get nothing back from Brexit for 50 years … I am impatient as a ‘Brexit fundamentalist’ (The only good Brexit is a dead Brexit) not for myself at my advanced age, but for future generations. And the softly-softly approaches used by some of the central Remain organisations have largely assisted us in getting a ‘boiled frog Brexit’; so slow that we (the frogs) hardly notice the chronic decline (death by gradual boiling). This makes any approach to undoing Brexit especially difficult, as it requires a large majority of people to have their lived experiences changed by Brexit realities, which will only be visible in slow motion and in small doses.

My labour chums tell me “shh, we’ll consider rejoining in 2032”. This misses two important points. Nobody will remember what Brexit was by then and, in any case, much of the damage wreaked by Brexit will be complete and much of it irreversible by 2032. It is at best a dream, at worst a weapon of mass deception to get elected. But I cannot vote for a Brexit party in a General Election even if that means allowing a Tory back in. There is always hope and I hope you will want to read the book and act upon its advice and guidance.

To place a discount pre-order for The Brexit Chronicles in hard copy inc P&P, please PayPal £15.00 as a gift via Paypal using the link below.

We also have one remaining signed copy of our Brexit satire book Private Eyelines at a discount of £20.00 all inclusive compared with £34.99 plus P&P on Amazon.

Pre-order The Brexit Chronicles

Grab your copy of Private Eyelines

London Assembly Elections

Posted in Boris Johnson, Brexit, Britain, Britastrophe, Culture, Elections, Keir Starmer, Labour, Rejoin EU | Tagged Brexit, Britain, Rejoin EU | Leave a reply

Lecternology

Updated on

16/04/2024 by author

Peter Cook

Not only have we had five Prime Ministers since Brexit, we have also had five lecterns. Each of them have a different character, like each PM and each has cost the taxpayer more than Angela Rayner’s alleged tax scam. Liz Truss’ Jenga lectern cost an uncool £4175, seemingly appropriate, as, no doubt it could be rebuilt into something else 49 days later … In this article we look at the emerging “academic discipline” of lecternology inspired by Peter Hurst and Peter Stefanovic.

Cameron

Cameron’s lectern was designed by his head of operations to appear “statesmanlike”. Cameron was the youngest PM and, as such, the wood for his lectern was sourced from B&Q, using freshly cut pine with a curved, flared column, signifying agility and smoothness, and a glossy finish to signify superficiality. Read more on Cameron at Cameron.

May

The simple religious cross style of Theresa’s oak lectern symbolises her victimhood as the Prime Minister who felt a sense of duty to serve but who ultimately would be hoist by her own inner conflict. In the end, the ERG and Remainers placed her on a cross for sacrifice in favour of someone more malleable. That person would be the fatberg formerly known as Boris Johnson.

Johnson

Johnson’s lectern column and base are the thickest of the five, matching the intelligence and heft of the incumbent. “The Johnson” as it was referred to in No 10 was constructed of teak for strength, as it doubled as a shagging plinth for internal use. It is believed that Carrie’s children were conceived on “The Johnson” along with other random offspring from the Brexit staffers during Partygate.

Truss

The Truss lectern is perhaps the most interesting in so far that it is constructed using Jenga. This would enable quick breakdown and reassembly after her 49 days tenure. We have an authentic woodchip replica of The Truss ceremonial lectern available on e-bay for the bargain price of £30 000. This would enable us to stand a lettuce for election in her South West Norfolk constituency. Tony Hanlon commented on the spiral construction “Its a treasured memory of her death spiralling of the economy”.

Truss has since blamed the failure of her Brexonomics budget on the infiltration of left-wing Norwegian wood into her lectern at a cost of £70 billion to the taxpayer and the ruination of young people’s hopes of home ownership. John Lennon, Kate Bush, Chris Witty and Angela Rayner have been blamed by The Truss, along with left wing lawyers, left wing carpenters, carping judges, civil servants, punk rockers, classicists, MDF, lettuce, homosexuals, trannies, the blob, layabouts, drug users, climate protesters, smoking bans, Potter Heigham, Brundall, The A47, The Bank of England, The OBR, UN, The Queen, charities, do-gooders, poets, artists, piss artists, vegans, Christians, Moslems, London, wood carvers, carvery owners, wood workers, sex workers, sex swappers, The Lib Dems, brie, gorgonzola, camembert, left wing cheese, real ale drinkers, real world thinkers, Remoaners, men, women, children, animals, plants, left wing micro-organisms, algae, fungi, Liz’s parents and all members of the deep state who sought to bring her down. The Jenga lectern proved to be her downfall and it was nothing to do with her incompetence, social ineptitude and the triumph of confidence over competence. That is a disgrace. In Liz’s own words “Liz Truss is best ignored”.

Click on the description to buy The Truss on e-bay.

Sunakered

The Sunak lectern is paradoxical. It is bigger than the other lecterns although Sunak is possibly the shortest Prime Minister in history. The upright section is designed to obscure both of Rishi’s legs for reasons of modesty and as support in case he were to break one. Just like its user, the Sunak lectern has no integrity, professionalism or accountability, being made from offcuts from the “previous administration”.

All of the above are, of course, pathetic attempts to look in control by people who are easily persuaded by presentation over content.