This is the opening prelude to a new book on Brexit and Rejoining the EU. Aptly titled “The Chronicles of Brexit”, combining the notion of the fantasy world of Narnia together with the chronic condition of political paralysis.

I still hear Remainers telling me that Brexit is done. They have fallen prey to the kool aid put forward by the Brexiteers, that Brexit was a project and not a process. A project has a finite end point such as building the Channel Tunnel whereas a process continues. As I write in 2024, Brexit continues to wreak a slow chronic infusion of damage socially, economically, politically, environmentally, technologically and legally. We hardly need to rehearse the impacts here, from the gradual departure of businesses, industries and brains from UK plc, the rating of Britain as a ‘problem child’ regarding inward investment, to the unsavoury sights and smells of shit in our rivers and the jubilation by a few residual racists at the joy of drowning migrants. This is Brexit Britain. It’s nothing to be proud of.

Many of the chronic impacts predicted in these chronicles have come to pass since I wrote the original articles collected in this book. Worst of all, we are still dogged by the parliamentary paralysis that made Brexit possible. Keir Starmer continues to spout the vacuous football chant ‘make Brexit work’ to charm people with feeble minds, when all the data suggests that he could carve out a leadership position and win an election comfortably by stating that ‘Brexit isn’t working’. The Lib Dems continue to suggest that we could rejoin the EU ‘when the time is right’. Of course, that time will never come … Only the Scottish National Party (SNP) are brave enough to lead on the need for independence from Brexit Albion.

The Chronicles of Brexit
Images by James Rowland.

A little while back, I designed a t-shirt with a picture of Hannibal Lecter and the slogan ‘Brexit consumes all its children’ with a list : Cameron, May, Johnson, Truss, Sunak, Starmer. I predict that Starmer will also be consumed by the offspring of Brexit, perhaps with some fava beans and a nice Chianti  … the offspring of Brexit include the cost of living, ramped up concerns about immigration, a broken NHS, business failures and so on. Of course I was hammered by my left-wing colleagues on Twitter, who have gotten into such a stir with Tory fascism that they are now manically possessed by the idea that we must get Starmer in, then we can talk about Brexit. I hope they are right but fear they are not. See Scottish Bylines as to why I say this.

Even 18th century retro-Latin imperialist adventure capitalist Jacob Rees-Mogg bragged that we will get nothing back from Brexit for 50 years … I am impatient as a ‘Brexit fundamentalist’ (The only good Brexit is a dead Brexit) not for myself at my advanced age, but for future generations. And the softly-softly approaches used by some of the central Remain organisations have largely assisted us in getting a ‘boiled frog Brexit’; so slow that we (the frogs) hardly notice the chronic decline (death by gradual boiling). This makes any approach to undoing Brexit especially difficult, as it requires a large majority of people to have their lived experiences changed by Brexit realities, which will only be visible in slow motion and in small doses.

My labour chums tell me “shh, we’ll consider rejoining in 2032”. This misses two important points. Nobody will remember what Brexit was by then and, in any case, much of the damage wreaked by Brexit will be complete and much of it irreversible by 2032. It is at best a dream, at worst a weapon of mass deception to get elected. But I cannot vote for a Brexit party in a General Election even if that means allowing a Tory back in. There is always hope and I hope you will want to read the book and act upon its advice and guidance.

To place a discount pre-order for The Brexit Chronicles in hard copy inc P&P, please PayPal £15.00 as a gift via Paypal using the link below.

We also have one remaining signed copy of our Brexit satire book Private Eyelines at a discount of £20.00 all inclusive compared with £34.99 plus P&P on Amazon.

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