On this day when the Government says that we need to extend Brexit negotiations and that Brexit is all Cummings’ fault anyway. It also emerges that a US trade deal is years away. Here, we offer a news roundup via the medium of the satirical “Kent Massager”, as Brexshit hits the fan.
In case of doubt …
FACT : The Daily Express DID report on FURY re our Kent Toilet of Britain project. In fact it was not mass fury. FICTION : The Express managed to find just ONE person, in Yorkshire, who objected to the signs in Kent.
FACT : Trials at the border show that if it takes 70 seconds to check a lorry, a five mile queue ensues. We can expect significant and continuing gridlock in Kent and maybe even into Sussex, Surrey and London if Brexit happens.
FACT : The Archbishop of Canterbury has rebuked the Government over breaking Manifesto promises on overseas aid.
FACT : There has been a prediction of an increase in dogging in Kent after Brexit. We are not sure why it matters but there you go. I prefer Labradors to Terriers myself. How about you?
FICTION : Priti Patel has NOT unblocked a toilet. FACT : She has blocked the futures of EU Citizens living in UK and UK Citizens living in Europe. Our video Priti Woman has been banned for under 18’s after complaints by the Conservative party. We don’t know why. Here it is for your pleasure.