Here are the details of our marathon road trip from Islington to Old Durham Town … in the B*llocks to Brexit Mini. Please support the venture via Go Fund Me.
PRESS RELEASE
Iโm gonna leave old Durham Town โฆ to check my eyesight
The โB*llocks to Brexitโ Mini Cooper known as โJohnsonโ is making an unprecedented historic trip from Dominic Cummings house in Islington to Durham under strict COVID-safe conditions, so that the driver Peter Cook can get his eyesight checked. Peter is taking the excursion from Islington to Barnard Castle for his wifeโs birthday and will be stopping at a few beauty spots along the way. The trip, inspired by Dominic Cummings, has been arranged by EU Flag Mafia in conjunction with Rage Against The Brexit Machine, to highlight the problems of adding Corona crisis to Brexit disaster, creating a โBritastropheโ. We will be performing songs from our catalogue of anti-Brexit songs, including โAlo Vera โ Brexitโs Cominโ โOme and a Chas & Dave Cockney Brexit Knees Up.
11% loss in GDP from Corona, when added to 9% predicted loss from Brexit will make an exponential impact on jobs, lives and livelihoods of people in Britain.ย Johnson the Mini will make the journey in order to wake people up to the oncoming economic and social tsunami.ย We only needed 3.5% GDP loss to create the 2008 crash.ย Corona is a natural born crisis and we must endure it.ย However, we donโt need to add the man-made Brexit disaster to the mix.
โJohnsonโs driverโ Peter Cook is taking a four-year-old baby โBoboโ on this historic journey. Bobo has promised not to urinate for the entire trip, although the Mini will be making stops in Rugby, Manchester, North Yorkshire and Newcastle, also taking in Southampton, Dorset, Wiltshire and Kent in the coming weeks. For Baby Bobo, it is a UST (Urination Stamina Test).
โRules are rules and we must stick to them for everyoneโs safety, even if Johnson, Cummings, Farage, Jenrick, Half Cock Handcock and Papa Bojo choose not toโ
The last time โJohnsonโ made an appearance on Britainโs roads, we were stopped by an Essex Traffic Policeman Smith, in a rage on the M25 motorway. PC Smith asked us to remove the signage on the car on the hard shoulder of the M25, putting the police officer and the passengers at risk of death. We are hoping to return to Essex to meet PC Smith for a cuppa. Smith has not been located by Essex Police some 8 months after we provided his full details to the force โฆ
Peter hopes that โDick and Domโ aka Boris and Dominic will hear our call that this is the worst time to take Brexit out of the microwave. If they checked their eyesight, they would now realise that there is a substantial gap in the will of the people, with nearly a ten-point gap of people now wishing to remain a member of the EU. All that is needed is courage and political will to change the oncoming โBritastropheโ.
โWe must re-boot Britain in the wake of Corona. Itโs time for our leaders to show true courage and take a bold move to build, build, build a Better Britain in a Better Europe for a Better World. To this end I have formed an unpolitical party to end all political parties. Itโs time we had leaders that we could look up to and trust. Our movement is designed to help achieve that. Iโm proud to work with EU Flag mafia to help put the great back in Britain.
p.s. We have just received a request to take โJohnsonโ to Greece to check our eyesight, via Bulgaria. We are just checking the logistics of the trip, although all seems well, since Stanley Johnson recently made a similar pilgrimage to check on a holiday let.
For an exclusive interview on our โUnprecedented Ocular Pilgrimageโ around the UK, please contact Peter Cook, Brexorcist in Chief via peter@academy-of-rock.co.uk