We must Flush Brexit down the pan … I was assembling my equipment for our Silent Brexit Protest in Kent last Friday evening … Musing upon the bizarre week of 1984 styled events, especially the spectacle of thousands of portaloos arriving in Kent to cope with 72 mile tailbacks of traffic on the main arteries (A2, A20, M20, M2, M25, M26, A299, A256, A28, A251, A249, A229, A228, A25, A26, A259, A227 etc.). Riffing on the idea of Flush Brexit, it came to me:
“Wouldn’t it be great if we had a portaloo for our event on Saturday in Lenham”
I considered scouring the town’s skips for a suitable toilet bowl, but time was short, so I decided to focus on more important matters …
On Saturday morning, whilst driving down to Lenham, w came upon a bidet bowl (forin’ innit) and cistern that had been fly-tipped on a drive of a country house just off the A249 trunk road. It was difficult to stop with lorries behind me, but I knew we were meant to Flush Brexit from my Friday night brain dump. I decided to make a detour of 7 miles by driving back up the A249 and returning to pull into the tiny hollow. We collected the bog by the side of the road. Mischief managed.
This put me in mind of the shit that is published by the Daily Mail, so here is today’s news dressed up as the Maul on Sunday:
In case you doubt where the actual stories come from, here are a few references:
PROJECT FACT:
Pension credit to be slashed
10 000 Portaloos in Kent
Hancock commits people to “death by Brexit“
BOJO says we’ll have an Australian deal aka No Deal
William Shatner gives up on Britain for Star Trek merchandise
Flush Brexit down the pan
Jennifer Arcuri gaslights us away from Brexit catastrophe
Take Action – Click on the links
Report MPs for breaking international law
Join us at Futurama – an arts festival to change the world
Find out why Suspending Brexit is still possible
Find out why Rejoining is a unicorn in the mid-long term
Read The “Daily Maul“
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[…] There is no medical virus called Brexitosis. However, it becomes clear that Brexit has now occupied the minds of a few swivel eyed loons in the ERG, whilst the vast majority of the British public are bored rigid by Brexit and want Brexit flushed down the pan. […]
Brexit utopia beautifully summed up.
Thanks Christopher – pl subscribe to the platform – it’s free