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Category: Tories

Bollocks to Brexit Mini

This week’s homework

Don Adamson sets out this week’s homework in his weekly digest. Better than the David Davis Dossier.

One – Discuss the following statement. Events in Ukraine have made changes. Russia has reverted to a dangerous foreign policy. You wonder what they will do next. Similarly we are faced with the prospect of a second Trump Presidency. Obama said the USA might survive four years of Trump as President. Eight years might be another matter. It is difficult to identify circumstances that more clearly demonstrate the need for a united and economically sound EU.  Countries within the EU want to expand and countries outside the EU see strong incentives to join. I would not blame the EU for resenting the nonsense they had to take from mad, bad and dangerous British politicians (not all of them Tory). Brexit has done a huge amount of damage to Britain and, to a lesser extent, to other countries in the EU. There are powerful incentives to Rejoin. Will British politicians have the brains, courage and decency to admit it? 

The only clear position on Brexit from a political party in England.

Two – Discuss the following statement. For 500 years the main plank of British foreign policy was to prevent Europe from uniting against us. Tories managed in just a few years.

Three – Discuss the following statement. Rory Stewart, Hero of the Resistance to Brexit appears on TV documentaries because he is an acknowledged expert on Roman History in general and Julius Caesar in particular. Meanwhile Nigel Garbage appears on ‘I’m a Celebrity – get me out of here.’ By what stretch of a demented imagination is Nigel Garbage and Brexit anything to do with realism? 

Four – The Greeks are determined to regain the Elgin Marbles. Sooner or later this country will return to its senses and Rejoin the EU. Will the Greeks be justified in insisting that return of the Elgin Marbles should be the price we ought to pay? Can you think of other examples? 

Marble madness.

Five – There has not been enough rain to replenish the reservoirs that store the water that allow the Panama Canal to operate. Ordinarily 40 ships per day pass through the Panama Canal. There is only enough water to allow 18 or 20 ships a day through the Panama Canal. Climate Change deniers insist that the insufficient rain is nothing to do with climate change. Why then is there insufficient rain to replenish the reservoirs; is it a) all part of some dastardly plot to cause Britain to Rejoin the EU? b) All part of some dastardly plot to keep Trump out of the White House? c) All part of some dastardly plot to force people to vaccinate their children against diseases? d) Other explanation? 

… Scumbag’s political strategy is pure Micawberism – hope that something will turn up. Whatever does turn up is unlikely to be good for the Tories … forecasts for the remaining 15 months of this parliament do not suggest a big economic pay off to delay … nasty mortgage rate increase … higher unemployment …  Scumbag faces a tough choice … going for an early election when Tories are more than 20% behind in the polls seems foolhardy … longer he delays more that mortgage holders (bedrock of Tory support) will get clobbered … Things ended well for Micawber … went to Australia … Scumbag is known to like California … 

… as with Brexit, those in public office appear reluctant to state the facts or obvious conclusions … Braverman as a practicing Buddhist? Two central tenets of Buddhism are compassion and wisdom. Braverman needs to practice much harder … increasingly unhinged and uncontrollable … If I had anything to do with the Met I would be feeling aggrieved; the force has bent itself into all sorts of weird shapes to avoid inconveniencing this government from declining to investigate criminal irregularities in the Leave campaign … to turning a blind eye to No 10 becoming party central during lockdown … how were they rewarded? … Tory Home Secretary wrote an op-ed accusing them of bias, wokery and going easy on lefties … Cruella  took innovative step … to whip up a mob of battle gammons ‘to defend the honour of our war dead’ i.e. get coked and lagered up and lay into coppers actually protecting the Cenotaph… Met must be wondering what it will take to get a fair deal from this government … arrest their political opponents? Braverman’s Brownshirts briefly buoyed up by presence of Stickyfinger Pansey-Lenin alias ‘Tommy Robinson’ … he squeaked some words of encouragement before jumping into a taxi when things got violent … Cruella omitted to mention that half the injuries had been inflicted not by the pro-ceasefire marchers but by the beery denizens of the counter protests that she had instigated.

… shop will close next month as a result of government inaction … a result of Brexit and 13 years of austerity … a flock of sheep continuing to support a corrupt and moribund government… Cameron is taking over as Foreign Secretary … he has much to to, having irreparably damaged our relationship with our closest allies … reduced us to an international laughing stock… Same people behind Brexit backed ‘anti-woke’ candidates … election to National Trust Council … record turnout of members wanted nothing to do with  it … All five of candidates recommended by nominations committee were voted in …

… question posed Leicester Square Theatre on 21 November…. Alex Salmond … Gina Miller … Andrew Marr against a team led by David Davis, Claire “IRA” Fox and Mike Graham of Talk Shit TV … John Bercow says ‘pity the debate cannot be in mainstream politics’ … 

Read The Ayes Have It

… provocations of the sacked Home Secretary Cruella Braverman, Stickyfinger Pansey-Lenin alias ‘Tommy Robinson’ and the tawdry culture war that the real war has ignited…

…Business Leaders … insight into current attitudes to a united Ireland … ‘We look north to the stalemate in Belfast and see a basket case, we look east to London and see a bigger basket case’ … it is hard to overestimate the damage we have done to ourselves … combination of Brexit, … Johnson … Thick Lizzie … Cruella Braverman … people outside Britain take us less and less seriously … Brexit had complicated postal services between UK and Ireland beyond belief … added enormous costs … complexities because of Brexit … we have even had to send back cremated ashes … amazed that there is not more of a fuss in the UK media and politics about the damage Brexit has done … most UK newspapers do not allow facts into the Brexit debate … madness, utter madness … 

… real figures what that UK exports to EU fallen by 7.2% … to the rest of the world by 9.8% … something seriously wrong with UK Trade … problems correspond with arrival of Brexit … Business and Trade Secretary  Kemi Badenoch … has access to rooms full of experts, analysts, statistician and economists … she consults none of them because they tell her what she does not want to hear … trumpeting one single think tank discredited after involvement with Thick Lizzie’s disaster … do not bother trying to explain this … 

… a snake in the jungle … I’m a celebrity get me out of here … Nigel Garbage on the show shows how insensitive, crass, tone deaf, idiot, provocative, morally bankrupt ITV is … history not on his side … Mad Halfcock’s campmates did a better job of expressing their views than most professional politicians did … did not help book sales or job prospects … Nigel Garbage is a coward who likes money, attention and the sound of his own voice … always a lot less than he appears to be … notoriously peevish and thin skinned … unlikely to keep up his act on TV … politicians on the brink of success do not volunteer for reality TV.

Nigel’s end game in a bunker.

… She did not get it … but there was a confrontation at the Cenotaph led by a few hundred tanked up fans of Stickyfinger Pansey-Lenin (Alias Tommy Robinson) … police said ‘Palestine Solidarity Campaign did not see the sort of violence carried out by the right wingers’ …

Read Cleaning up Politics

…  ethnically questionable lobbyist … recently taking Chinese money … Beijing’s ‘useful idiots’ … going to the Lords means he can skip angry encounters with Gammonite MPs … 

Read Lord Cameron on Scottish Bylines

… return of far right pinups … Stickyfinger Pansey-Lenin (alias Tommy Robinson) Hatie Katie Hopkins … Pandora’s box is opened … 

… crazed conspiracy theorist … the only way this book could be more mind bending would be if the pages were soaked in LSD … Gove is an incorrigible plotter … Cummings did decide Johnson was a lemon … incomprehensible … desperate attempt to avoid the trauma of admitting Brexit is a damp squib and that Johnson failed as PM … Gove stabbed you in the back to cut you down to size … if Go Nads gets rained on she looks at the sky and says ‘Coincidence! I think not.’… Johnson has never taken money … that is not even the book’s most absurd quote … Tory Party is a viper’s nest of ruthless infighting and overweening ambition … politicians who are entirely dishonourable …

… we went into the pandemic 24th out of 38 in the league table of avoidable deaths … we had worse resourced and staffed health service, eye watering inequality … dismal public health … no plan to ramp up figures … not enough PPE for front line workers … we predicted social meltdown but did little to plan for it … Winston Churchill and Nye Bevan would have struggled with this … instead we go Johnson and Mad Halfcock … leaders … disliked, disrespected and distrusted each other … ‘c*nts, tw*ts, f*uckpigs, incompetents and liars’ … Johnson agreed with Tory view that ‘Covid was nature’s way of dealing with old people’ … ‘let the bodies pile high’ …. comments corroborated by Johnson’s chief of staff …; witness after witness detailed how incompetent Tories were … Mad Halfcock believe he not doctors should decide who should live or die … next time we might have a different virus but similarly dysfunctional political leadership … harm everybody except vaccine manufacturers or sellers of dodgy PPE or mass testing contracts …

Pip Pip Don Adamson Brexorcist in Chief – First Class with Honours

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Brexit has failed

Don’s week

Don Adamson writes on the crazy week that was from his Barnsley Brexit Bunker.

This week’s homework:

One – Discuss the following statement: ‘Have I got news for you’ used to be a satire programme that treated all politicians mercilessly. Is it gradually turning into a Tory propaganda programme? 

Two – Discuss the following statement. Bonfire Night has come and gone. I am finally beginning to see Guy Fawkes’ point.

Three – Discuss the following statement. Common sense is a punishment because you must deal with all the people who do not have it. 

Read Bully Braverman

This week’s quotes: 

Good news from Warsaw 

… Poles turned out in record numbers to vote down populist – nationalists Law and Justice (PiS) Party … the result is a relief … PiS has installed handpicked judges … turned state broadcasters into megaphones for PiS propaganda … deployed its people to run state-run industries … building a patronage system … 

Windsor Framework still knotty 

… nor has the framework removed the biggest concern for business … uncertainty … little divergence has happened in practice; most British firms do not want it … politics still in limbo … missing executive makes it harder to run fraying public services … Keith Starmer says he would like to move closer to the EU … negotiations would be testing … Brexit was always going to be problematic.. For years Northern Ireland has been treated as collateral damage in internecine Tory wars…

Why can’t Britain build the infrastructure it needs? 

… painfully slow … in the next seven years Britain will need to build four times more grid infrastructure than it has managed in the last 30 … tangle of agencies … none has a convincing plan …

Welcome to the haunted house of Westminster 

…  a year since Thick Lizzie left … keep hearing about her … Richy Scumbag … message is that he is weak and she is still running the show … He is just Ken in her Barbie world … rather like Corbyn … Keith Starmer is a Marxist … I have principles but if you dislike them I will change them … Keith Starmer has never given a convincing explanation for why, unlike many colleagues, he served in Corbyn’s shadow cabinet for over three years. The charge of opportunism lingers … Thick Lizzie is unpopular among Tory MPs … Richy Scumbag has criticised her disastrous term in office only in mild terms … the charge of weakness sticks … Thick Lizzie is a reminder of a double Tory failure: acute blunder of the mini budget of September 2022 and the chronic failure to contain the ballooning tax burden … 

Join Gina Miller at the Brexit Debate in London

Class distinction

… after Brexit referendumb policies were analysed only as they to appealed to an imagined working class voter… a Leave voting man in his 50s with reactionary views. This voter handed the Tories a fat majority in the 2019 election … skip forward four years and dysphoria is mercifully on the wane … partly due to its own absurdities … Richy Scumbag and his family are too rich to pretend to be anything else … negative ratings rival Johnson’s at his nadir … proverbial Red Wall voter, who delivered Labour heartlands to the Tories in 2019 matters far less … when standards of living are falling, questions of identity fall … never mind how people take their coffee …

The people who ruined Britain 

… the death of political shame … Richy Scumbag … a weak man who betrayed his office, party and country … Britain has always been multicultural … Braverman’s rhetoric inflames tensions without resolving them … despicable game … portrayed all Albanians as criminals 

Has anything this UK government has done actually improved things in the last 13 years?

Worse even than Johnson or Thick Lizzie … Richy Scumbag ‘s blinkered arrogance has accelerated the decline of the Tory empire … premature success … Napoleonic delusion … March 2022, spring statement was hailed as a dud … emerged that his father in law’s company continued to operate in Russia during the Ukraine conflict … wife benefitted from non Dom status … Scumbag badly mishandled furore … role of PM … utterly unsuited … at least he blocked some of Johnson’s most outrageous recommendations for honours … Scumbag has much to answer for … fixation with ‘small boats,’ Rwanda, Bibby Stockholm barge (infected with Legionella) … badly mishandled public sector strikes … PM and most of his colleagues shamefully absent from Commons … debate .. Privileges committee report on Johnson’s lies to Parliament about Partygate … deplorable speech to Parliament … slowing strategy to achieve net emissions … cancellation Northern Leg HS2 … exasperated investors … who set a premium on consistency … broken Britain over which he presides with a rictus grin … probable that Scumbag will lead Tories to defeat … excuses are being prepared … Scumbag has been Starmer’s greatest ally … a terrible PM … done nothing to restore confidence in party or politics generally … failed his own test … reappointed Braverman … after she broke ministerial code … dithered feebly over Nadhim Zahawi’s tax affairs … allegations against  Dominic Raas perfectly clear … Scumbag desperately hung on to Raas looking for a loophole … instead of renewing standards … he encouraged conspiracy theories … stoked the populist fervour … Tory Party shifted towards MAGA UK … exploits Braverman’s spiel … He is worse than Johnson (a lumbering hulk of amorality) or Thick Lizzy (ideologically deranged)… entirely calculated and all the more despicable … delusion that past success denotes future  triumph … terrible self deception … soon the magnitude of that failure will become clear …

How they broke Britain

… politicians denied everything … loss betrayal, unbridled arrogance, impunity, warped ideology and political incompetence … deliberately set UK on course of decline … remained in power long after the damage they did became clear … not a single word of contrition … supporters of austerity, Brexit Johnson, Thick Lizzie and other disasters … determined to blame people who had spent years warning and explaining what those consequences would be … lies, prejudice, manipulations … unforgivable … controlled by… media, politics and wealth … sheer abnormality is rarely noted … we rarely notice how ridiculous our country has become … proof is everywhere … government inflicted economic catastrophe … what was once unthinkable is now unremarkable … politicians and cronies remain in office after being found guilty … epic delays … trade unfeasibly complicated … unnecessary damage … meaningless anti-woke rhetoric … bogus culture wars  … former head of the British Army said … ‘I’ve been to Rwanda … shadow of genocide lingers … dark history …  ‘ … Braverman has yet to provide evidence of her claims … commercial catastrophes, national tragedies … routinely proved spectacularly wrong without suffering censure …  experts proved horribly wrong … continue to broadcast with their status undimmed … Think of one shameful episode  and a dozen more will spring to mind … secretly funded lobby groups … represent nobody except anonymous tycoons and vested interests … allowed ridiculous things to happen … first population to vote sanctions on itself … Brexit costing the country £100Bn a year … UK is in the  most difficult position of major economies … suffered loss of investment of £29Bn … economic catastrophe … Tories bear obvious responsibility .. you would not know this from media coverage … as dangerous as it is daft … delusional denialism … traced back to Brexit … Tories increasingly detached from reality and integrity … lasting damage … inability to disown the deceptions that delivered Brexit … pantomime characters like Grease Bogg … bigots, weirdoes … flourished most in Brexit Britain …  everything they touched began to crumble … constantly denying reality, inventing persecution, shifting blame, rewriting history … everyday something new happens to deepen the awfulness, absurdity  of what these people have done …

Don Adamson Brexorcist in arms The Brexit Bunker, Barnsley

Join us at Gina Miller 3E launch event online Tues 14 Nov

True and Fair 3Es
True and Fair 3Es
12 angry Tories

12 angry Tories

Some of you will have seen the famous film “12 angry men”. If you have not here is the plot in a few words from the official film description. Following the closing arguments in a murder trial, 12 members of the jury must deliberate. A guilty verdict would mean death for the accused, an inner-city teen. As the dozen men try to reach a unanimous decision while sequestered in a room, one juror (Henry Fonda) casts considerable doubt on elements of the case. Personal issues soon rise to the surface, and conflict threatens to derail the delicate process that will decide one boy’s fate. Through the process of dialogue and analysis Fonda convinces his fellow jurors to acquit the teenager against all the odds. The parallel questions here must be:

“Why are the Tories so angry?”

and

“Can anyone heal their regrets?”

12 angry Tories
Who will heal their collective anger?

From far right to right :

1. Steve Baker

Self-confessed hardman of Brexit who went soft as his dream melted away and under pressure from the many people who said he was delusional. Baker said he hadn’t felt happy since the Brexit vote, never mind the people who had to suffer from its death wave. Baker recently said that the 2016 referendum should have had a mandatory 60% majority for it to be a settled matter. This is polite parlance for the fact that Brexit has failed and we can and must join the EU anew.

2. Nadine Dorries

Monkey testicle eating Dorries now falls into the category of a woman scorned, after falling in love with Boris Johnson and having that love denied. This coincided with Johnson giving an honour to a 29 year old woman who bears an uncanny resemblance to Bojo rather than ‘Lady’ Dorries. Nadine more or less went on strike, failing to attend Parliament or do her constituency work for an extended period. She is no more, having been voted out of her Mid Bedfordshire constituency. Anger is too polite a word to describe Ms Dorries. Even local dad and police commissioner could not save her solid Tory constituency from falling in the recent by-election.

3. Penny Morduant

PM (Penny Morduant not Prime Minister) in waiting, Penny is angry because she was overlooked in the search for a Prime Minister in 2022, having been passed over for Liz Truss. Penny decided it was best to hold a sword for an hour to demonstrate the relevant competences for being PM (Penny Morduant not Prime Minister). PM has the unusual accolade of claiming military credentials in the Royal Navy, although it seems that all her experience with seamen was acquired on dry land. Another angry Brexiteer with several grudges, a sword and a desire to stand up and fight …

4. Douglas Ross

Scottish Conservatives leader. Yes it’s hard being a Conservative in Scotland as virtually everyone swears at you but Douggie has other reasons to be angry as well. Boris Johnson swore at him when Doug voted for Johnson to resign in 2022. Doug shouted Deputy First Minister of Scotland Shona Ross down when she called on Rishi Sunak to meet his commitments for net zero instead of watering them down. This is one of his regular behaviours in the Scottish Parliament. Don’t be like Doug.

5. Priti Patel

Priit Patel was once hailed as the most extreme Home Secretary of all time. Priti is angry because Suella Braverman has made her look like a member of the Cats’ Protection League when compared with Suella’s full fat Nazi style celebration of children drowning in small boats. One of the most vicious ‘immigrants turned racist’ in the Tory party, Priti remains popular due to her loyalty to Boris Johnson. Known for shouting and bullying staff, Priti waits in the wings ready to pounce on Rishi when the time is right. Check our remake of “Priti Woman” which satirises some of her most famous quotes. PG rated due to Matt Hancock in leg irons.

6. Liz Truss

What can one say? The woman who broke Britain with her version of hard Brexit economics in just 49 days with her partner in grime Kwasi Kwarteng. The cost of ‘Trussonomics‘ was an eye watering £60 billion, only eclipsed by the ongoing cost of Brexit which stands at £100 billion EVERY year. As if all this was not bad enough, Liz is undeterred and plans a comeback, saying that her wilful destruction of the country was “not understood by the markets”. The Truss has had some public speaking training recently. Since people are easily fooled by a slick presentation over content (see also Johnson for style over substance), we should be very afraid. Although The Truss started life as an anti-monarchist woke lefty liberal, she has now ‘manned up’ in support of cheese, Norfolk turkeys and the British apple. A stint on ‘Bakeoff’ seems more appropriate. Our song “more than enough” sums up The Truss well. Watch the video and buy the albums to support our independent journalism.

Download the albums via https://academy-of-rock.bandcamp.com/
Resilence

7. Boris Johnson

There are not enough column inches or time at the COVID enquiry to describe this man’s impact and catastrophic demise from his imposter position as PM. He said that Brexit could be microwaved when it was already burned. Brexit has given us a 4.5% hit to UK resilience. This is the equivalent of trying to swim the English Channel with a block of concrete around your neck. Johnson killed up to 40 000 vulnerable people through dither and delay and making decisions that were against the science. He allowed his mates to profit from COVID, even encouraged it. Eventually his party chums turned against him and he more or less had to be forcibly removed from No 10 Downing Street. Johnson’s attempted comeback was resisted by his party colleagues. He has now reversed into GB News so that he can snipe at Rishi Sunak from the sidelines.

8. Jacob Rees-Mogg

Having lined his pockets from Brexit, lied to the Queen and then reversed into being a paid hack for GB News, Jacob resigned from his position. This was probably because he regretted the reverse takeover of the British Empire by the Indians. Mogg is one of the few politicians who continues to stand by Brexit which he claims will offer immense opportunities sometime into the 23rd Century. Privately I suspect he is much less happy about the lack of divergence from EU laws 98% of which we helped to make. He will also be spooked by the paltry returns on our trade deals which are effectively ‘fire sales’ in our desperation to point to something positive about Brexit (See also Kemi Badenoch and CPTPP). This film is from 2018 when we ambushed Jake at BBC Question Time.

9. Suella Braverman

As stated previously, Suella has made Priti Patel look like Mother Theresa with her full fat fascist agenda to feed a few remaining gammon voters with live immigrant children. Braverman has recently tried to put thought crime on the statute book, by suggesting that anyone who uses the word Jihad on the street is a terrorist. Even Tory peer Baroness Warsi was moved to criticise Suella by pointing out that divide and rule tactics are themselves the tools of hate. Not content with trying to kill migrants on dangerous disease ridden prison ships and breaking international law, I imagine that Suella must have said “thank you God” when the Israeli – Palestinian conflict started. She has been quick to use the war to weaponise her own domestic agendas. It’s even more surprising as Braverman is herself a barrister at No 5 Silk Chambers (better suited to being a barrista). As most observers have stated, Suella’s bizarrely disturbed outlook on foreigners is probably rooted in some very dark experiences in childhood.

The Disney Longstocking prison ship
I had trouble deciding if Robert Jenrick or Lee Anderson ought to be part of our 12 angry Tories.

10. Richard Tice

Of course Tice is not a Tory, just a pound shop racist. Tice recently turned his hatred on Sadiq Kkan and ULEZ in a desperate move to find a new issue to enrage people with feeble minds. Nigel Farage is also searching for things to trigger his remaining following from Gammon Brexit (GB) News. Tice remains angry that he has not got the Brexit he wanted. But he still cannot describe the one he was looking for … No wonder Steve Baker is effectively saying that the referendum should be declared null and void. Tice is angry with the Tory party for being more fascist than his Brexit party aka Reframe UK.

11. Kemi Badenoch

Another PM hopeful, Badenoch has the dubious credentials of having done some of the most worthless Brexit trade deals on the planet via the CPTPP deal (worth 1/50th of what we had in the EU over 10 years at best and pushed through Parliament without a referendum). Although she was appointed by Truss, I suspect that this was Liz acting ‘to keep one’s enemies close’, as Badenoch is also popular with the Tory membership. Rishi has also kept her close, possibly because her nuclear levels of incompetence make Sunak look good. Incidentally, Badenoch stated that the CPTPP deal will only produce any benefit if we use it. So she’s already getting ready to say that the people thwarted her pathetic CPTPP deal.

No 12?

By this time, you may have worked out that there were only 11 angry people in the picture. So who is no 12? – Lee Anderson, Jonathan Gullis, Gove, Iain Duncan-Smith, Mark Francois, Esther McVey, Dehenna Davison, Liam Fox, Keegan, Coffey, Harper, Steve Barclay, the Tory rapists? There are so many to choose from. Usually a threat from outside is the stimulus for unity. Can Keir Starmer provide that threat? I think not since I find it increasingly difficult to find differences on policy between Labour and The Tories in many areas.

Read Red and Blue Brexit

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