This song and video need no explanation. Carrie Antoinette says it all. This Cliff Richard song was announced (by me) as the Eurovision UK Winner. Polite warning : Contains testicles from ITV Good Morning – do not drink or eat whilst watching in case of choking.
Eurovision UK Winner : Carrie
Arcuri disturbed you
When she was in the neighbourhood
About Jenny, I’ve got a picture in her pants
Can you take a look?
Oh, I appreciate you’re busy
And the money’s not your own
Yeah baby, maybe it would be better
If Dom telephoned
Carrie doesn’t live here anymore (Carrie)
Carrie used to room on the second floor (On the second)
Sorry that she left no forwarding address
That was known to me
So, Carrie doesn’t live here anymore (Carrie)
You could always ask at the corner store (Could ask)
Carrie had a date with her own kind of fate
It’s plain to see
Another missing person
One of Priti’s we assume
My chicks wear their freedom
Like cheap perfume
(It’s useless information)
Returning my call
(To help the situation)
They’ve nothing at all
(She’s just another conquest)
For the Bojo balls
Carrie doesn’t live here anymore (Carrie)
Carrie used to room on the second floor (On the second)
Sorry that she left no forwarding address
That was known to me, Carrie
Carrie doesn’t live here anymore (Carrie doesn’t live, doesn’t live here anymore)
Carrie used to room on the second floor (On the second)
I’m gonna leave old Durham Town … to check my eyesight – Monday 6 July
The “B*llocks to Brexit” Mini Cooper known as “Johnson” is making an unprecedented historic trip to Durham under strict COVID-safe conditions, so that the driver can get his eyesight checked by taking an excursion to Barnard Castle for his wife’s birthday and stopping at a few beauty spots. The trip, inspired by Dominic Cummings, has been arranged by EU Flag Mafia in conjunction with Rage Against The Brexit Machine, to highlight the problems of adding Corona crisis to Brexit disaster, creating a “Britastrophe”.
11% loss in GDP from Corona, when added to 9% predicted loss from Brexit will make an exponential impact on jobs, lives and livelihoods of people in Britain. Johnson the Mini will make the journey in order to wake people up to the oncoming economic and social tsunami. We only needed 3.5% GDP loss to create the 2008 crash. Corona is a natural born crisis and we must endure it. However, we don’t need to add the man-made Brexit disaster to the mix.
“Johnson’s driver” Peter Cook is taking a four-year-old baby “Bobo” on this historic journey. Bobo has promised not to urinate for the entire trip, although the Mini will be making stops in Rugby, Manchester, North Yorkshire and Newcastle, also taking in Southampton, Dorset, Wiltshire and Kent in the coming weeks. For Baby Bobo, it is a UST (Urination Stamina Test).
“Rules are rules and we must stick to them for everyone’s safety, even if Johnson, Cummings, Farage, Jenrick, Half Cock Handcock and Papa Bojo choose not to”
The last time “Johnson” made an appearance on Britain’s roads, we were stopped by an Essex Traffic Policeman Smith, in a rage on the M25 motorway. PC Smith asked us to remove the signage on the car on the hard shoulder of the M25, putting the police officer and the passengers at risk of death. We are hoping to return to Essex to meet PC Smith for a cuppa. Smith has not been located by Essex Police some 8 months after we provided his full details to the force …
EU Flag Mafia are hoping that “Dick and Dom” aka Boris and Dominic will hear our call that this is the worst time to take Brexit out of the microwave. If they checked their eyesight, they would now realise that there is a substantial gap in the will of the people, with nearly a ten-point gap of people now wishing to remain a member of the EU. All that is needed is courage and political will to change the oncoming “Britastrophe”.
“We must re-boot Britain in the wake of Corona. It’s time for our leaders to show true courage and take a bold move to build, build, build a Better Britain in a Better Europe for a Better World. To this end I have formed an unpolitical party to end all political parties. It’s time we had leaders that we could look up to and trust. Our movement is designed to help achieve that. I’m proud to work with EU Flag mafia to help put the great back in Britain.
Peter Cook
3 Dec 2019 – London, UK – Minis in Essex Street, London in a stunt organised and crowdfunded by anti-brexit campaigning group EU Flag Mafia.
p.s. We have just received a request to take “Johnson” to Greece to check our eyesight, via Bulgaria. We are just checking the logistics of the trip, although all seems well, since Stanley Johnson recently made a similar pilgrimage to check on a holiday let. For an exclusive interview on our “Unprecedented Ocular Pilgrimage” around the UK, please contact Peter Cook, Brexorcist in Chief on 07725 927585
