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Category: Football

God Save The Queen

God save the Queen

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God save the Queen from Boris Johnson, Brexit and Prince Andrew. Our latest edition of ‘The Son’ previews a weekend of flagshagging. Just in case you are confused, here is a fact and faction decoder:

FACT: There have been bunting shortages[1] for the jubilee!  It does not come from the EU though as intimated in some circles …

FICTION: A pint is not 562 ml.  It is 568.26125 ml.  Millilitres are not the product of EU law but the result if SI units.  Lions are not English even though they appear on t-shirts.  FACT: A pint is not a standard measure as a US pint is not the same as a UK pint with a US pint coming in at 473 ml.  The obsession of the British government with imperial measures is simply another piece of ‘red meat’ to feed to Brexit voters at the jubilee!

FICTION: Sue Gray has never appeared in Eastenders, nor have the Mitchell brothers removed her organs in an East End styled murder.  We are pretty sure that Boris Johnson would have her removed if he thought he could get away with the dirty deed however.

FACT: Priti Patel has not ordered teachers to bear arms in schools as yet.  Give her time …

FACT: Liverpool football fans were held up at Dover for hours[2], as Brexit border controls started to bite hard.  Is this what you voted for when he said we would be “taking back control of our borders”?

FACT: Boris Johnson has cancelled the part of the Ministerial code that holds him responsible if he breaks the law.  The law literally no longer applies to him.  Is this what you voted for when he said we would be “taking back control of our laws”?  Priti Patel continues to try to cancel refugees through sponsored drowning and sending to re-education camps in Rwanda.  Culture secretary Nadine Dorries is trying to cancel culture.  It’s all a bit Reginald Perrin really.  If the going gets tough, Kim Jon Bojo will likely cancel general elections.

FACT: Quite subtlely, Conservative ministers have started to blame Ukraine for domestic problems when the feed through to our economy is largely not related to problems in Ukraine as yet. Rishi Sunak did it at the so-called emergency budget on 26 May 2022 by stating that 80% of our problems were ‘global’.  Horseshit.  Brexit has made an impact of some 4-5% on inflation, all of this man-made and therefore avoidable.  Lee Anderson inferred that the poor were to blame for poverty.  Subtle mentions of Africa in relation to Monkeypox cement the idea that the disease has an ethnic component for feeble racist minds.

FACT: Ireland is not to blame for Brexit.  It is wholly the product of our own government.  We own it.  It’s ours.  100%. Priti Patel has used the spectre of a repeat of the Irish potato famine[3] to feed weak English minds and distract them from the plain facts of Brexit.

God save the Queen from Johnson! Download Prince Andrew is a Sweaty Nonce to tell Boris Johnson and Justin Welby that child abuse is NOT OK. Mumsnet ate Boris Johnson for breakfast the other day. Our analysis of the encounter via the medium of “Just a Minute” follows.

Well worth your time

[1] Bunting shortages

[2] Champions League

[3] Priti Potato Famine

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Foul Play

I was in a local cafe when the football fans emerged today. Gillingham lost to Portsmouth by one goal in the 93rd minute. A dejected fan came in. When I asked how it had gone, he pointed out that it was totally unfair as there was foul play and it should have been declared a nil-nil draw.

However, he seemed to think that the Brexit referendum, polluted by foul play, industrial scale fraud and a whopping lie in the 93rd minute should stand although it too was won on the thinnest of margins.

Can anyone explain the decision science in both cases?

Discuss it on Twitter – please play nicely

To all those that SAY that they want the Tories out and an END to Brexit, this is your big day. Get your arses down to Sidcup rail station on Monday 29 Nov at 12 noon. We are leafleting the area. The Torons are so worried that they have sent Johnson, Raab, Sunak, May et al to the area to canvass for Louie French Let’s #GTTO

Please help us pay for the leaflets by giving us a tip on Patreon

The Euros

The Euros 2021

Brexit : they think it’s all over. But it’s far from done. As the COVID umbrella lifts, Brexit is beginning to show its ugly heads. And, in the vernacular of Priti Patel, it’s all kickin’ off on Saturday 12th June with the worldwide premiere of Rage Against The Brexit Machine’s new song Alo’ Vera – Football’s Comin’ ‘Ome Euro Mix.

Saturday marks the start of the Euros and an exclusive live performance of the song at Chesham to celebrate Rejoin EU’s campaign in Chesham and Amersham. As with the Eurovision song contest, it rather seems that Global Britain’s attitude to aid and trade will leave us with “nil points” when it comes to re-booting Britain.Having asked for extra time for the transition period to mask Brexit carnage, Johnson is now losing trillions of pounds on “penalties” and he no longer knows where the goal is. But has Britain got the legs? Or will it crash out of the Euros, and of being a serious player on the world economic pitch?

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Rage Against The Brexit Machine (RATBM) aims for the Premiere League, lining up for a Number One on Friday June 18th. Alo’ Vera latest release in our Pop versus Populism series, a rousing football-inspired pop pathos marching tune. A match for any match, it’s a tale of what’s finally comin’ ‘ome, and it ain’t Priti Patel’s fruit pickin’ teams, the European Corona care nurses or the easiest deal in history.

“Brexit was a game of two halves … but now the players are off the pitch, we wonder whether we should be supporting another team?”

Peter Cook, Brexorcist in Chief, RATBM.

The Euros

Alo’ Vera – Football’s Comin’ ‘Ome is the follow up to “The Brexit Party” album” – the party album to end all parties. This includes other Brexit classics, which we will be performing from 11.00 am in Chesham, an unlikely location for a worldwide song release!

• A Chas & Dave Cockney Brexit Knees-Up “Bollocks to Brexit”.

• The punk-metal-trance-funk grind “Nigel Farage’s Garage”.

• The unforgettable Bojo French sex anthem “Take Back Control”, a fusion of “Je T’Aime” and AC/DC.

• A poignant dance floor track called “In Limbo”. An epic project with 20 voices from all over Europe.

• An 18th Century Tory Trance Floor Acid House Groove “Jacob Rees-Moog”.

“Music reaches our heads, hearts and souls in ways that politicians only dream of. The art of protest just found its 21st century voice. Corona Crisis + Brexit Disaster = Britastrophe”.

For an exclusive interview on Rejoining the EU, contact me and we will arrange with the Rejoin party leader / candidate.