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Category: Boris Johnson

Railway Modeller

Levelling down

Here’s our latest piece of satire, based on the familiar railway magazine beloved of Boris Johnson when he is not painting Brexit buses:

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Read The Financial Times to follow the story of Johnson’s U Turn on the Northern Powerhouse. Some trainspotting notes:

The Diesel in Thomas the Tank Engine was known to be the most belligerent, paranoid, devious and neurotic engine on the SODOR railway. Fitting then that Priti Patel should take the footplate with her £77 000 lashes.

Jennifer Arcuri reported that Boris Johnson offered to be the throttle to power her business. Was this an Alan Partridge metaphor?

Meanwhile, there will be no return to steam or diesel power on Britain’s rail network, as there won’t be a northern rail network. Another Johnson promise broken. If we really needed HS2, it was the part connecting the northern cities rather than the piece we have darn sarf, taking maybe 20 minutes off the journey time to London.

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Priti Vin Diesel – sorry about Ringo

A letter from Germany

From Heike Wilms

Dear Mr Johnson,

Before the referendum I hoped for a remaining Britain. After the leave decision I hoped for negotiations that would lead to an amicable agreement underlining the friendly relationship between Britain and EU / between our countries Britain and Germany.

I live in North Rhine – Westphalia, for decades next door to British neighbours – enjoying common activities, the Scottish “Fish and Chips” dealer serving the English quarter and its neighbourhood and the opportunity to learn from each other, to improve my school English, after my teachers had given up at an early point and told me, that I will never be able to communicate in English.

I was a member at Tate and loved to visit the gorgeous exhibitions, celebrating quiet moments on the member cafes terrace aside the river Thames, Ethiopian food at Old Borough market, together with an CDI from the Metropolitan Police I built up a network for male victims of trafficking and exploitation cooperating with several London charities and EUroPol.

I still have friends in England, Wales and Scotland and so I realised the differences between those parts of UK. I never experienced United Kingdom as a divided Kingdom.

I was used to receiving my favourite British treats and things. I loved the easy traveling to visit each other, as I can still do it all over Europe with member states. To me it is a highly valued gift, that there are no borders and through so many different cultures. I am allowed to experience this at any time I like. I can even work where I like and my children have a huge choice to study, where they want to. They decided to study in East Germany including single semesters abroad to learn about more diverse cultures.

Now it takes weeks to get chocolate from my favourite British chocolatier – and on top of this, he is not allowed to send dairy chocolate treats – just dark vegan seems to be allowed. Customs even sent them back and he had to make a declaration of contents and I had to pay extra costs for the tariffs. For small mugs a friend sent I also had to pay a toll. To send a parcel to Britain has become really expensive in general and I still do not have a real clue as to what is allowed and what is forbidden to send.

I have no idea how to get my traditional Lindt treats to your country to spoil my friends around Christmas. My friends are also insecure, as to what it takes to be allowed to travel to my place and had to get passports, which was not as easy as they expected, so they had to change the date to meet me In Germany.

I am upset and sad how difficult it had become to care for our friendship.

And apart from that I had to experience, how friends in Britain got divided in Remainers and Brexiters, and as a German I know very well how long it takes to get a divided nation reunited. We are still not reunited, there are still wounds, which aren’t healed and are just superficially covered in West and East Germany. It led to a high number of nationalists in the right political corner in East Germany, it led to populism, as feeding a fire is much easier than putting it out. And to build up something new on a burned ground needs common goals, which is a challenging process between divided parties.

It so sad to see that happening with your country, which I saw as a bastion and fighter for democracy, multicultural living and tolerance.

On top, I wonder, when I look at empty shelves and petrol stations running out of gasoline, are there advantages of Brexit and a so called sovereignty? Can nationalism without a strong bonding to neighbour countries bring anything good? I might be more sensible for that due to my heritage as a German.

I can’t see any so far, to me most things have become more complicated and the division will bring disadvantages over generations worst case. The trade agreements with new Zealand and Australia, appear to me like feeding big companies while getting British farmers and small enterprises starving and on the edge / on risk of losing everything.

I am also concerned about Ireland and the vulnerable peace progress between this divided island and how that will affect the relation between Britain and EU.

In my view and experience, I always saw Britain as a critical voice and strong part of the EU to develop a strong union without losing sight on the big picture and as well on national interests.

I write to you hoping that my concerns get heard – and that I may get an answer about the positive benefits of Brexit that would make sense to me.

I miss my uncomplicated relation to Britain and the comfortable years , when it was so easy and cheap to cultivate my friendships. And I miss the feeling of being welcome in general, I feel at a distance.

Rejoin

Rejoin Party

In the wake of Keir Starmer’s announcement that he wants to make Brexit work, all final hopes that Labour would become a serious opposition have been shattered. We need a new force in politics, hence this post.

Rejoin EU Party Announces Leader Richard Hewison will contest Old Bexley & Sidcup by-election 

  

Rejoin EU today became the latest party to enter the hotly contested by-election in Old Bexley & Sidcup on December 2. On paper, a rock-solid Conservative seat with a majority leave vote at the referendum that few observers expect to change hands, though given the turmoil engulfing the Tories over parliamentary standards, sewage and Brexit, anything could happen. 

  

Candidate Richard Hewison said: “In the last few months, the carnage Brexit is wreaking has been seen throughout the country. From empty shelves in supermarkets and truck-driver shortages to sewage being dumped in the sea and childish spats with our closest neighbours, the effects are far worse than anyone suspected. The so-called ‘Project Fear’ that Remainers were accused of peddling is fast becoming ‘Project Reality’. And while most Londoners didn’t vote for ‘Brexit’, they’re paying for it.With Northern Ireland still able to benefit from single-market access, why not London? It’s clear the Greater London area needs far greater autonomy in its affairs, at least on a par with Scotland, to restore its crucial trade links with the EU.” 

  

Reflecting Rejoin EU’s commitment to work with other parties, the Londependence party supports it in this candidacy. 

  

Londependence Leader Tom Foster said: “We wholeheartedly back Rejoin EU in this election, particularly knowing Richard’s commitment to proper devolution for Greater London, which would so benefit everyone who lives here. Bexley, Sidcup and the whole of London are being leveled down by this corrupt government and neither of the major parties have an answer that will bring power back to the people. Re-joining the EU is by far our best option for the future and we strongly urge everyone in Old Bexley and Sidcup to get behind Rejoin EU and send parliament a message it can’t ignore.” 

Old Bexley
The seat of former MP Ted Heath who believed in a better Britain in a better Europe for a better World

  

Asked why Rejoin EU doesn’t just support other larger pro-EU parties, Rejoin EU chair Andrew Smith said: “Well, there aren’t any! The Conservatives are pretending Brexit is a fantastic success, whilst Labour is trying to pretend it isn’t happening and looking increasingly foolish as a result and, however supportive the Lib Dems may be in private, they shy away from discussing Brexit in by-elections. We’re literally the only party prepared to talk about the one solution to our current problems – re-joining the EU.”

As Hewison’s nomination was confirmed, the news broke that some 250 Tory MPs had voted to overturn parliamentary standards commissioner Kathryn Stone’s verdict against their colleague Owen Paterson. Hewison said: “I’ve always said one of the problems with our tame opposition is that it never publicly calls out this government in parliament and records it in Hansard for posterity. If elected on behalf of the constituents of Old Bexley and Sidcup, I’ll ensure the words ‘liar’ and ‘corrupt’ are recorded next to this government on every occasion I can, however many times the Speaker ejects me from the chamber!”

A strong Tory victory on December 2 could signal a snap general election in early 2022, so please back Rejoin EU to make this rogue government dump its disastrous Brexit.

The Rejoin EU party is campaigning to re-join the EU because we believe the UK belongs at the heart of Europe and re-joining is the only way to solve the problems Brexit has created. Brexit is broken and it’s breaking our country too. All the promises on which Brexit was sold to the electorate in 2016 are now increasingly exposed as fantasy. Far from bringing the promised reduction in red tape and bureaucracy and providing £350m a week for the NHS, Brexit makes trading with the crucial European market more complex, difficult and expensive and threatens to reduce funding for public services. Sectors such as farming, fisheries & financial services, supposed to benefit from Brexit, now face an uncertain future. If you agree Brexit is making our country poorer, less tolerant and less united, join us and send a strong message to Westminster that you want your EU membership back, along with all its freedoms and benefits. 
 
Contact Rejoin EU at admin@therejoineuparty.com or visit our website at REJOIN. You can also follow the party on Twitter at @rejoinp

Colonel Blimp and Brexit

From one of our stalwart campaigners Don Adamson.

Lieutenant General Sir Aylmer Hunter-Weston was reckoned to be the most incompetent British general of WW1. In the 1920s he wrote letters to the editor of “The Morning Post.” This was a rag of such right wing views that it made “The Daily Telegraph” read like “The Daily Worker”. These letters were offensive even by Morning Post standards. David Low produced a series of cartoons for “Evening Standard” that satirised Hunter-Weston. Try as Low might, his cartoons never quite captured the true awfulness of Hunter-Weston’s letters.

N.B. the Evening Standard was owned by Lord Beaverbrook, an associate of Churchill and who was not exactly a drippy liberal.

“The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp” was a movie that came out in 1943. Roger Livesey played Clive Candy who was supposed to be a version of Colonel Blimp. The resemblance to Hunter-Weston was superficial to say the least. Clive Candy was as decent a person as you could ever hope to meet. Churchill wanted the movie banned, all copies destroyed and everybody involved in the making of it banged up in the Tower of London. The movie was about two army officers, one British and one German. They met at the beginning of the 20th century and after some initial misunderstandings they became the best of the friends. That friendship endured despite the ups and downs of two world wars. They fell in love with the same woman. She married the German but that was not what made the movie controversial.It all boils down to one scene. Clive Candy said he would rather lose a war than win it by dishonourable means. Churchill was incandescent with anger. This was during the continuance of the Royal Air Force Area Bombing strategy that involved bombing civilian targets, causing large numbers of casualties, with no possibility of damaging the Nazi war effort.

Nearly 80 years later this is still a controversial question and reckoned to be a stain on Churchill’s reputation. It would seem that even in 1943 Churchill realised that the area bombing strategy was flawed. On Social Media you may come across a certain “Sir Michael Take.” He is a cheerleader for Brexit and Boris Johnson generally. It is intended as satire but somehow does not quite capture the true awfulness of the original. He reminds me of David Low’s cartoons. The clue is in the name: “Sir Michael Take” = taking the mickey.

19You, Judith Spencer, Alan Bullion and 16 others2 Comments1 ShareLikeCommentShare

COP 26

COP 26

Will world leaders COP out at COP 26? The world is watching.

Brexit madness makes our climate change problems much worse:

Increased transportation increases the Carbon footprint of Brexit Britain.

A bonfire on standards leads to moral hazard in materials and product manufacture. It’s back to the bad old days.

Disaster capitalism also leads to unethical practices, some of which are environmentally unsound.

Even Evan Davis sold us down the river on BBC Radio 4 when he proclaimed that, until we stop flying, driving petrol based cars and stop industry we could more of less forget any progress. Although Evan is an economist he seems not to understand that billions of people making small decisions makes a massive difference to our net zero target. Importantly, his careless comments contribute to the view that “climate change is someone else’s fault”. I’d expected better from him.

Nicola Sturgeon is much more on point, having been unafraid to meet Greta Thunberg today.

We must be the adults in the room. Watch this video and share widely:

Please help support the people who made this video at COP26.

Meanwhile Johnson tries to distract with COD 26 – TY Cod War Steve

Britastrophe

Britastrophe

THE COST OF OUR BREXITEER GOVERNMENT:  MORE THAN 100 AVOIDABLE DEATHS EVERY DAY

By Adrian Ekins-Daukes

When appointed health minister Javid announced that July19 would be ”Freedom Day’, the end of COVID restrictions, a date which would be “the start of an exciting new journey for our country”, and even “that the nation would be healthier without the restrictions”.  At the time  the number of cases was “ticking up”, but the death rate was low. Hospital admissions had doubled, but he saw no reason to  delay “be we could not eliminate the virus, we must learn to live with it”.  He also claimed that COVID was only a sort of snuffle, like a bad cold. This was an extraordinary statement, coming from a new appointee with experience in banking and politics but none in healthcare. As was pointed out, the approach went against the views of virtually all of the medical profession and NHS.  It ignored major problems such as the huge backlog of non-COVID cases, Long COVID and the risk of virus mutation. Javid either did not bother to take the advice of his scientific advisers or chose to ignore it. 

The situation has since worsened.  All the problems ignored by Javid have materialised. In addition, it has become clear that the double vaccines, on which the Government had relied to avoid taking anti-COVID measures, were rather less effective against the Delta variant  than anticipated, and began to lose efficacy after 6 months, requiring a booster vaccine programme, However, perhaps the most disturbing aspect of the current pandemic is the government’s complacent refusal to accept that we are in a pandemic at all.  The statistics and facts below correct this nonsense

Since mid-August, as many people in the UK have been dying from COVID every two weeks as typically die from flu in a year: about 1,400. Deaths are at the same level as in October 2021. The UK suffers around 100 deaths per day more than France, 

  • The UK has one of the highest per capita infection rates in the world: 4 times higher than Germany, 9 times higher than France, and 25 times higher than Spain, all of which apply light restrictions (not lockdown).
  • 40,000 new infections are recorded per day and pressure is rising. .Already, before winter sets in, the NHS is struggling to cope with hospitalisations;  1 in 5 intensive care beds are occupied by COVID patients. Queues of over 20 ambulances unable to deposit patients are reported.By October, 1 in 20 schoolchildren were COVID-positive and 1 in 7 are thought already to have long-lasting COVID symptoms.
  • Children down to the age of 9 have had to be hospitalised and paediatric beds in London and  N Ireland have recently been fully occupied . 
  • There remains a backlog of more than 5m delayed treatments from the summer.

So much for Javid’s ridiculous fantasy of a healthier nation.

Despite  protestations to the contrary, Johnson and his regime have never followed scientific advice until too late. Repeating the folly of ‘Freedom Day’,  Downing St merely says it is keeping a “close eye” on the deteriorating situation.  Javid remarks that the infection rate “feels quite stable”, as though huge numbers  don’t matter so long as they don’t change, Whilst recognising  the possibility of 100,000 infections per day this winter,  he still ignores the fact that  sheer numbers of infected people broaden the pool of virus in which new variants can arise and that the best way to avoid that is to keep infections low. Already, a new Delta variety has appeared since July that might be even more transmissible.

Our Government complacently regards  COVID-19 as if it were a natural hazard about which we can do nothing more, and wants us to think the same way despite the suffering involved. But, as the rest of western Europe shows, there was nothing inevitable about our predicament. It was a political choice. It happened mainly because of Johnson’s cowardly reluctance to face down the extremist dinosaurs on his own benches; eg Rees Mogg, who regards  wearing masks as a subject for scoring trivial political points rather than a means of combatting a lethal disease. But the alternative path available on July 17 is still there. It simply involves reverting to a program of light restrictions with social distancing, compulsory masks in public indoor spaces, vaccine passports and advice to work from home. None of these measures would cause significant economic disruption. No one is calling for a lockdown. They could be implemented very quickly. 

The choice before Johnson and his regime is as follows|-

Do they continue to appease the prejudices of populist bigotry ?;

OR 

Do they save lives and secure the future, particularly of children, from lifelong debilitation, at little economic cost ?

When the official inquiry into the COVID-19 crisis finally happens, this of the pandemic will warrant as much scrutiny as the earlier ones. If the  Government chooses the former option, the loss of life and disablement of so many might well justify charges of manslaughter and grievous bodily harm against Johnson and those ministers responsible for avoidable, and indeed wilful, criminal negligence.

Brexit Sewer

Down in the Brexit sewer

On this day when it became obvious that Brexit literally means Brexshit, as beaches are closed, due to the Tories voting to dump raw sewage in rivers due to lack of chemicals from Europe, this article is dedicated to the wonderful work of James Rowland aka Aidan Grooville on Twitter. Follow up for up to the minute satire on Brexit and other related matters.

Down in the sewer

Corona – Lessons Learned

Written by Adrian Ekins-Daukes

Editor’s note : This was originally written in March 2020. It is high time it was resuscitated, unlike the 150 000 people who died unnecessarily from the actions of Boris Johnson. We call the toxic combination of Corona and Brexit a Britastrophe. Read on.

In March 2020, we were at the height of the first wave of the coronavirus pandemic.  Even before, the Royal College of Emergency Medicine was warning that acute care was struggling,  emergency departments were under-resourced and overcrowded, and often outdated in terms of facilities and equipment. However, this article is intended to give a snapshot of conditions in early 2020, not a full history of preceding events. 
On 21 March 2020, Downing St put out the following statement on the situation : 
Our response has ensured that the NHS has been given all the support it needs to ensure everyone requiring treatment has received it, as well as providing protection to businesses and reassurance to workers. The PM has been at the helm of the response to this, providing leadership during this hugely challenging period for the whole nation.” 
This complacent and self-congratulatory declaration was issued on a day when the television news featured distressed NHS workers in fear for their lives because protective equipment was either unfit for purpose or lacking altogether. It is false in every respect.  
Far from being at the helm, PM Johnson spent much of February 2020 at his country retreat, Chequers, with Carrie Symonds, then his new fiancee. His occasional visits to London seemed more  about social appearances and Conservative fundraising than the nation’s affairs. During January/February he missed five consecutive meetings of the emergency “Cobra“ Committee during  when the pandemic had been on the agenda, Only on March 2 did he take over the chair, when the virus was firmly established. Then, for a further 3 weeks, he toyed with an impractical policy of herd immunity instead of immediate lockdown. This dithering cost over 20,000 lives, which has subsequently escalated to 150 000, an act of genocide.
Regarding support for the NHS, a leaked email disclosed  on 18  March 2020 that some hospitals were just 24 hours away from running out of protective equipment (PPE) for nurses and doctors. Shortages included visors, masks and gowns. and some other items had run out entirely. In another email, to directors of infection control, NHS England said that there were no visors left nationally, no long sleeve disposable gowns, only goggles suited for flu.
This situation was confirmed by television and newspaper interviews with hospital staff over this period.  One hospital manager who confirmed his hospital did not have enough PPE equipment to last the next 24 hours said that they’d been told  specialist respirator masks would soon run out nationally and only less suitable masks without visors were available. Eye protection and long sleeve aprons had run out and they were buying safety goggles from industrial wholesalers. The previous night he’d had to ration equipment across four wards – normally one ward would have held 10 times that amount. Asked what they made of the claims there was enough stock in the country, he added: “We’ve been told for weeks that there’s stock, there isn’t”.
Towards the end of March, one regional NHS director of procurement said he was unable to get hold of any gowns from the NHS supply chain, exclaiming in desperation  “God help us all.”  The GMB union said the lack of PPE and testing for frontline workers was “a national crisis”.  Ambulance workers were  not being given access to PPE, even when being sent to treat patients suspected of having COVID-19. 
The consequences for patients of the delays and lack of essential equipment was horrendous, especially for the elderly.  Some hospitals were overwhelmed and a system, drawn up by the Governments chief advisors, was introduced to select which COVID patients should receive intensive treatment. This was a death sentence to anyone over 80 or with a serious underlying medical condition; in practice it was also applied to many over 60. These patients were consigned to death wards where they received little or no nursing treatment or even attention . Steps were taken to conceal this from the public, but some witnessed the conditions in which their dearest were to die.

The toxic combination of Corona and Brexit leads us to Britastrophe. Get your stickers from EU Flag Mafia by clicking the picture


The government failed completely to give the NHS and patients the support needed at the height of the crisis. It’s ‘reassurance’ to NHS workers was non-existent.

My Secret Brexit Diary

My Secret Brexit Diary

I have just bought a copy of My Secret Brexit Diary, an astonishing tale of open-ness, decency and collaboration in decision-making and negotiation by Michel Barnier. His revelations stand in stark contrast to the approach taken by the British government during five years of Brexit negotiations and some comparisons are useful. I will be returning to Barnier’s book in this blog frequently, but this is how he begins.

The very first act that Michel undertakes is to establish unity of the 27 nations and to assess any important red lines that would destroy unity. In Barnier’s words:

“The mission of this small ‘commando’ unit is to travel through the 27 countries of the union over a period of few weeks establishing personal contacts with ministers and prime ministers so as to find out where each of them draws their red lines and, in broad terms to construct our own line of negotiation on the basis of four first principles that I will, from now on, recite to each of my interlocutors.

First, there can be no negotiations until we receive notification from the British government. In the Council, the 27 member states have been very clear on this point.

Second, we will only succeed in this negotiation by building and maintaining very strong unity between the 27 member states.

Third, no EU country should find itself in a position where it has less say than a country outside the Union.

And finally, no country outside the Union should be given a veto on, or even the right to intervene in, the decision-making process of the 27.

These are the key points to which we will hold fast throughout our work, and which are the conditions for its success.”

In stark contrast, the very first act of the British government is for Dr Liam Fox to tell a lie, by suggesting that the European Commission was responsible for David Cameron’s loss of the referendum.

“Fox says ‘our enemy is the Commission, which wants to be forgiven for making Cameron lose. Many of the 27 need us.’

I am told that these remarks which have been reported to me, were made yesterday in private before a group of businessmen in London by UK Trade Minister Liam Fox. This Scottish MP, a former defence minister for David Cameron and a former candidate for the conservative leadership, losing to Theresa May, is obviously at the forefront when it comes to imagining the future of trade relations between the UK and the EU. But first of all, Brexit must be achieved, and he is in favour of a fast-track agenda. That, however, is no reason to propagate such untruths.

So it was the Commission that lost David Cameron the election? This is to pass over in silence, just a little too quickly, the ‘new settlement’ agreed with him at the European Council on 18 = 19 February 2016, in the midst of the migrant crisis – a settlement that further strengthened the UK’s special status within the Union. In the end it wasn’t enough to prevent Brexit, but not for the lack of trying …

It is also to forget that, if all European leaders voluntarily kept silent throughout the referendum campaign, they did so at the express request of the British Prime Minister. According to him, any intervention by ‘Brussels technocrats’ or foreign leaders would have been immediately exploited by the Brexiteers …

In any case, Liam Fox’s statement only strengthens my determination: we must secure and consolidate the unity of the 27 as rapidly as possible.”

I sense a twinge of regret in Barnier’s penultimate statement, that the European Union maintain silence during our referendum process when it may have been wiser to speak out and promote the benefits of the union. We are currently beginning to find out just what these were, somewhat too late to do anything about it in the short term. We must remove the Brexit culture carriers from government and Re-Boot Britain, with the eventual ambition of applying to join once again.

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Madchester

In our final satirical piece in the series, we take to the Manchester Evening News for some sizzled up news, based on facts, but not limited by them. Our fact checker is out in force below the front page. Read on.

Find all our satirical pieces by clicking on the image

Fact and Fiction Checker

Jacob Rees-Mogg was not searching for drugs but his shameful interview with Charlie Hutchins must be seen. The “Charlie” mentioned in the paper is not Charlie Hutchins, but Charlie Chalk, much beloved by Michael Gove.

As far as we know, Priti Patel has not had work done at The Smile Centre. Perhaps she should. It may just make her more believable when she is viciously threatening the poor and people without homes. Priti Patel’s policies on the right to protest, so-called policing reforms, drowning immigrants and marginalising poor people are steady steps on our sleepwalk towards Brexit fascism.

Bully Back Better

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Priti Woman – warning adult themes

Rishi Sunak did point out that we’ll have to pay for Brexit in various ways. Watch out for tax rises, NI, triple lock pension removal and a suite of other ways to refill the coffers to pay for the next election.