It seems that we have reached the stage of the Brexit Wars. We knew it would come. This is the first time that a country has declared war on itself and Britain leads the world in this area. Here is our latest Daily Maul page on Brexit Wars, with a fact and fiction checker below, just in case you cannot tell the difference.
Click image to read our Brexit satire book on Amazon.
In case of doubt …
FICTION : Cod have not learned to speak, although they speak more sense than Boris Johnson when he says that The Royal Navy is to be converted to the Royal Fish Fingering Fleet in readiness for the Brexit Wars. I prepared a new advert for The Royal Navy to help them recruit First Fish Officers.
FACT : Boris Johnson and David Frost did look like a sack of potatoes when they attended the dinner with Ursula Von der Leyen and Michel Barnier, who looked stylish. Even cats were dismayed at the contrast.
The slobs formerly known as Frost and Johnson out vogued by some cats and some dignified leaders.
FACT : The Brexit Microwave deal has not been delivered. This was an election promise. For an explantion of how we got here in five minutes see “Brexit in five minutes”:
Talking Heads – Steve Peer interviews Peter Cook.
FICTION : Priti Patel is NOT re-enacting the Irish Potato Famine in practice. However, she is in principle by threatening trade wars.
FACT : Kent County Council is not ready for Brexit. Kent is set to become the Toilet of England. See our appearance on “Have I Got News For You”:
Watch Have I Got News For EU.
FACT : Matt Hancock stood alone in cabinet, asking for the COVID vaccine to be prioritised. Perhaps we should thank him for standing up to idiots and Dominic Cummings. We are not sure he actually cried as it seemed to be interspersed with laughter. The search for onions continues.
Tears of a clown.
FACT : No deal Brexit and a Brexit deal are virtually indistinguishable from a practical viewpoint. Brexit can be stopped or suspended if political will changes. See our interviews with MEPs.
Mark François lives ! And it’s Christmas ! Praise the lord. I had been worried about Mark’s wellbeing ever since he disappeared at the beginning of August. I had feared that he might have been kidnapped by angry Remainers in his constituency of Rayleigh, or, worse still, had been arrested for a minor offence such as shoplifting. Mark stood down from his post as the leader of the ERG and disappeared from public life. This is unusual for a soldier. Mark is partly responsible for the decision to patrol the English channel with gunboats to protect English Cod and I think that should be applauded.
The Codfather. Mark Francois.
In other news, the Police have dropped their investigation into the Tory rapist. Mark had been widely thought to be under suspicion for this, but the evidential threshold for prosecution was not met.
The law is the law and I’m pleased to welcome Mark back to public life. Mark François lives to fight another day. If you feel like me, that we should mark this development, I’ve created a unique Christmas gift that you can send to Mark via e-mail mark.francois.mp@parliament.uk It’s a remake of the Plastique Bertrand classique “Ca Plane Pour Moi” as “Francois Pour Moi“.
GIFT the song to Mark François with a personal message. The song is FREE. Find the gifting option at Bandcamp.
If you like Francois Pour Moi, please buy “The Brexit Party Album” for friends and enemies across the world – it’s the party album to end all tomorrow’s Brexit parties. All proceeds go towards anti-Brexit activism and to help sustain our musical activities.
As Christmas comes, it is traditional to think of others rather than Looking after No 1. Selfishness or Looking after No 1 gave us Brexit. So, it warms my heart to discover that Dominic Cummings has taken a £45 000 pay rise. I imagine that this is a bonus for Dom’s “leadership” in breaking lockdown rules, by driving 500 miles to take an eyesight test. This, while Boris Johnson asks public sector workers to take a pay freeze. Yes, Dom deserves is £45 000 and the nurses, doctors, carers, council workers et al deserve nothing at all. Looking after No 1 really works.
Our remake of Durham Town. Poignant.
It’s even more gratifying to learn that Jacob Rees-Mogg, Minister for the 18th Century, has condemned UNICEF’s attempt look after others, after they tried to help the world’s most vulnerable children. I understand that Mr Mogg intends to start workhouses for these children rather than rely on handouts from damned charities.
Jacob Rees-Mogg says UNICEF should be “ashamed of itself” for providing food for some hungry British children
As the COVID R rate for Britain rises to 1.1-1.2, it is heartwarming to learn that the virus does not visit Private schools. Eton College is closed but state schools remain open. I confidently predict that we are headed for another national lockdown to mask problems from “Getting Brexit Done”. Johnson may lack competence in many things but he is brilliant at Looking after No 1. Locking us down after Christmas and using the law to enforce the measures will ensure that people are unable or unwilling to protest or riot against Brexit.
Already, we have 20 mile queues in Kent on the roads. We are also told that the lorry parks promised by Kent County Council will not be ready for months, due to “unplanned rain”.
Trucks queue down the M20 for mile upon mile at the entrance of the Eurotunnel in Folkestone, as companies rush to stockpile as the deadline for a Brexit trade deal looms.
Have I Got News For You features “Operation Pisspot”.
Devaluation of the truth
We have also been let inside the not so secret recipes of the Conservative Party recently. Wellingborough Conservative Party advise that sometimes it’s better to lie quickly rather than tell the truth slowly. Does that accord with you to get on in life as part of Looking after No 1?
Is self interest our default position?
Can we not do better than this?
"If you make enough dubious claims fast enough, you can get away with it"
Keir Starmer quotes from the Wellingborough Tories newsletter which tells wannabe politicians how to get ahead and asks if the PM was the inspiration or author. #pmqspic.twitter.com/PqPLQidBDx
Keir Starmer appears to be following the lead of The Midwife of Brexit aka Jeremy Corbyn, by appearing to back a deal. There is no good Brexit deal and the will of the people has changed dramatically. At what point will he and Labour oppose the greatest disaster to face our children? When it’s too late?
Some other bugger’s fault
Looking after No 1 demands that everything is always someone else’s fault. As expected, Johnson continues to blame the European Union for Brexit. I mean, it’s obvious:
The Conservatives set the Brexit vote up to heal a problem of cohesion within their own party.
The plan failed. Brexit has consumed three Prime Ministers so far.
The concept of No Deal was invented a year after the vote was taken. It was never mentioned at the time of the referendum.
Various aspects of Brexit have been deemed illegal. These are clearly the fault of judges, doomsayers and snowflakes
All of the above is clearly the fault of The European Union and not the Conservative Party and those who were taken in my the lies. How could anyone think it was Britain that voted for Brexit?
The Blame Game.
Brexit Means Brexit (still)
Everywhere I work, people are puzzled about why we are still pursuing this and I did this explainer video for our American friends the other week:
Season’s Brexit Greetings.
Enjoy spending your sovereignty this Christmas.
Infect a friend.
Looking after No 1 seems to be in vogue at this time. I am sure that karma will eventually kick in on this shower of liars, bullies and cheats. Britain was better than this … remember Live Aid?
Will the British people do the usual thing? To walk on by and ignore our sleepwalk into fascism? To moan about what happened AFTER it happened?
We can do better than this
Come out of the darkness
Into the light
Our requiem for Brexit. Please download the songs on Bandcamp.
Just a day after Johnson appeared to have made a “Canada style” deal, it turns out that all is not well and the industrial scale lies and gaslighting has started again. Our deal is really a Canada MINUS MINUS Brexit. Here we report the news via the medium of populist press parodies. Today it’s the Daily Maul and The Sun. Including a fact and fiction checker. As always it’s action that counts. Please follow the links at the bottom.
It’s always Fury in the Maul. Check our work in this area by clicking the image.
FACT AND FICTION CHECKER
TRUE : Boris Johnson has thrown students under one of his buses by cancelling the Erasmus scheme. In one of his empty flourishes he says he plans to replace it with our own scheme which he has rather oddly titled The Turing System. FALSE : It does not require students to undergo castration like Turing had to, leading to his suicide.
TRUE : Britain “leads” all of Europe in terms of COVID deaths. We are once again back up at peak deaths per day as we experienced in March 2020. This is because Johnson has prioritised the economy above health throughout this crisis, acting too little and too late and using the science when it was expedient to do so and then ignoring it to silence opposition. As a result, Britain lurches from lockdown to lockdown. The result will be a prolonged crisis rather than a rise to zero. Schemes such as eat out to help out and the use of exceptions mean that everyone loses as the pandemic flatlines at 400 – 700 deaths per day.
FALSE : Police did not threaten to taser lorry drivers to prevent them urinating. However, they used tactics reserved for totalitarian states in their attempts to control people who, through no fault of their own, were trapped at Manston airport and remain so.
TRUE : Plans exist to evacuate the Queen in case of civil unrest over Brexit. This unrest can only come from those who apparently have “won” Brexit, since remainers are largely unable to contemplate acts of civil unrest. beyond eating cucumber sandwiches and sitting down on the grass opposite parliament.
TRUE : These charts are an accurate appraisal of the Canada MINUS MINUS Brexit deal, as compared with our existing arrangements with the EU. It tells a very sorry story. To read the full text of the trade deal go to Brexit Trade Deal.
Rough Trade.
Brexit Fury in “The Sun”. Read Private Eyelines by clicking on the image.
FACT AND FICTION CHECKER
TRUE : Jacob Rees-Mogg did in fact blame UNICEF for feeding children at Christmas. This is beyond shame. FALSE : As far as we know, Mogg has not opened a workhouse in Chew Magna, But one never knows.
Jacob Rees-Mogg says UNICEF should be “ashamed of itself” for providing food for some hungry British children
FALSE : Although “John” has not taken over as home secretary , this regular attendee at 10 Downing St is an advocate of hanging. TRUE : He often turns up drunk at 10:00 o’clock in the morning to sing songs such as Bye Bye EU. In fact this is his only song .
TRUE : Oi band the K**TS managed to get to #5 in the Official Charts this week with their song Boris Johnson is a F*****G C**T. Speaking as a musician, I cannot say this song is particularly well written, but clearly the sentiment has captured the mood of the nation. Ursula Von de Leyen is in fact a gynaecologist, but did not utter the words about Johnson, apart from expressing some hand relief in her dignified speech on Thursday afternoon.
"Thank you for putting up with our adapted child Johnson for all these years. Please show us no mercy when he breaks the deal. We still love EU"
— Peter Cook – Leadership for a Better World (@academyofrock) December 24, 2020
True leadership.
TRUE : The French provided relief to stranded lorry drivers with 10,000 COVID tests. The Germans airlifted supplies in, whilst Sikhs from Gravesend cooked thousands of curries for lorry drivers stuck in Kent through no fault of their own. In contrast, Kent County Council managed to provide a snack bar, whilst Kent Police locked the drivers in at Manston airport and wielded tasers in order to frighten them. Kent County Council’s CEO also was complicit in lying about the numbers of lorry drivers stranded in the County, suggesting that it was in the hundreds rather than thousands.
TRUE : Boris Johnson attempted to cover up the fact that he has given a lot of ground to the EU by refusing to publish the details of the deal. He is calling it a Canada style deal, when in fact it is what I’m calling Canada MINUS MINUS Brexit. Meanwhile today Michael Gove is involved in gaslighting us to talk about a “special relationship” with Europe, in order to stop scrutiny on the deal. Keir Starmer is still undecided as to whether to oppose, abstain or support a Brexit deal. Although it’s a difficult choice, an abstention would be the minimum best course of action given that Boris Johnson will blame Labour if they back the deal. Where are your six tests Keir? And your backbone? John Redwood wishes to write a spoiler clause into the EU trade agreement, saying that we can cancel the agreement at any time without consequence.
This piece of excellent analysis by James Chespy who has read the entire EU Trade Agreement on Boxing Day – a Herculian effort:
The purpose of a Free Trade deal is to remove barriers to trading across frontiers. Having read this EU/UK Trade and Cooperation Agreement I can say with some degree of certainty that this is not a free trade deal it is not even a Canada Style deal which the Prime Minister articulates. The deal is a regressive agreement because imposes barriers to Trading across frontiers. It imposes extra bureaucracy for businesses to adhere to. That means extra costs of doing business and that will mean lost jobs and reduced profits.
When companies are having their profit margins hit by the extra bureaucracy they will take the view that it will be far easier to conduct their business from within the EU than from within the UK.Whilst its welcome that there are no tariffs on exported or imported goods the extra cost imposed on businesses by the extra bureaucracy will make the fact that there are no tariffs rather meaningless.
Continue to operate divide and rule tactics in the Tory party in whatever way you can. Use their own tactics on them and better their strategies rather than copy them.
On September 22, Boris Johnson was advised to go into lockdown. Six weeks later we are going into lockdown … but not until after we have infected more people via Halloween and Guy On September 22, 2020, Boris Johnson was advised by experts to go into lockdown. Six weeks later we are going into lockdown … but not until after we have infected more people via Halloween and Guy Fawkes night. Since there is a cycle of several weeks between infection and illness, most of the unnecessary deaths from COVID are already ‘baked in’. Johnson used dither and delay back in February whilst minting 50p Brexit coins, hiding in fridges, avoiding COBRA meetings, bonging Big Ben etc. instead of listening to experts. This accounted for tens of thousands of unnecessary deaths in care homes. It is not fair to say that Johnson is doing a good job on COVID. These are political choices and others were available to him rather than his chosen strategy of herd immunity
Dither and Delay means Deaths
Too Little, Too Late again.
As a cynic, you might suggest that the only reason Johnson dithered was to ensure that people were too busy / frightened / shocked etc. to notice whether he “Gets Brexit Done”. Cummings promised “Shock and Awe” in autumn and the current wave of fear is exactly their plan. We will have just 11 days, JUST 11 days to “Get Brexit Done” once we lift lockdown. Michael Gove has already admitted that lockdown might be extended past December 02. It is sheer madness and irresponsibility to combine Corona Crisis and Brexit Disaster for a Britastrophe at this point.
Contact “super spreaders” on Social Media (Twitter and Facebook etc) with messages about Suspending Brexit. Use the hashtag #SuspendBrexit. Sample tweet:
11 days to "Get Brexit Done" after #Lockdown is totally ridiculous
— Peter Cook – Leadership for a Better World (@academyofrock) November 1, 2020
Serial Killers.
Here are some super spreaders to consider – make your own list : @campbellclaret @peston @kayburley @afneil @mrjamesob @AndrewMarr9 @bbcnews @itvnews @DavidGauke @theresa_may @Jeremy_Hunt @MichelBarnier @13sarahmurphy @RussInCheshire @AcademyOfRock @guardian @bbclaurak @SirPatStew @EdwardJDavey @Keir_Starmer
This is how The Daily Maul see the need to Suspend Brexit due to dither and delay:
Click on the image to read our Brexit Satire book.
The game has changed. Here’s a quick piece of Brexit analysis on the day that the world turned in on Trump and Brexit populism.
Johnson’s Brexit strategy has relied on the ability to bully Europe. Johnson has used the bargaining chip that Britain will become a rogue state on the edge of Europe with an Anglo-American trade deal. The game has changed …
NO LONGER APPLIES
Joe Biden has a long memory regarding Johnson’s attacks on Obama, women and ethnic minorities. The game has changed and the so called special relationship …
NO LONGER APPLIES
Johnson had relied on breaching The Good Friday Agreement and breaking international law to “Get Brexit Done”. The game has changed …
NO LONGER APPLIES
Reporter: "Mr Biden, a word for the BBC?"#PresidentBiden2020: "BBC? I'm Irish…"
The EU has tried to accommodate Britain in Brexit negotiations, so as to maintain a sense of decency in world politics. This, despite the fact that Britain has not made any good faith attempts to negotiate. The game has changed …
NO LONGER APPLIES
Thank you so much for leading the world with humanity and grace.
— Reboot Britain – Rage Against The Brexit Machine (@BrexitRage) November 5, 2020
True leadership.
Trump favoured UK in terms of doing a trade deal, as a means of pivoting against the EU. Biden’s appointment means that the EU’s main focus will now turn to America, rather than a small country in economic and social ruin. The game has changed …
NO LONGER APPLIES
I warmly congratulate @JoeBiden and @KamalaHarris for their victory in the U.S. Presidential elections.
The EU and the USA are friends and allies, our citizens share the deepest of links. I look forward to working with President-elect Biden.
We can no longer expect Trump to be focused on the UK and Brexit. His next two months will be fully occupied in fighting legal actions, making himself look even more foolish and gradually being ostracised by his allies. I imagine he will spend a lot of time on the golf course. Perhaps a slot on “I’m a failed celebrity, get me out of here”. The game has changed …
NO LONGER APPLIES
In conclusion, the game has changed and …
BREXIT NO LONGER APPLIES
Take Action
Write to your MP and demand that they oppose the toxic combination of Corona + Brexit – sample letters below.
Write to the press with the same ambition.
Write to EU leaders and encourage them to hold firm on Brexit negotiations now that Johnson is alone.
Sample Letters to MP’s – TY Rachel Ashley and Catherine Reynolds
Dear xxx,
Given the Biden victory, would you now agree that a two year extension to the transition period is probably wise, to allow Britain to cope with the COVID crisis?
Yours sincerely
Dear xxx
I see your government has done another u-turn on free school meals in the holidays for hungry children. Surely this is getting embarrassing for MP’s such as yourself, who support the government one week only for the Executive to do a u-turn the following week (or so). This looks like a failure of leadership to me.
I assume this was announced yesterday because most of the world of the world was watching Joe Biden defeat Donald Trump in the USA Presidential election. However President elect Biden’s stance on Brexit is well-known. He thinks the UK is following a foolish and divisive line which has the potential to severely damage Anglo-Irish relations and undermine the Good Friday Agreement. He has said more than once the USA will not trade with the UK if it breaks the Good Friday Agreement. It is telling that when asked by a BBC journalist if he had anything to say to the BBC he said ‘I am Irish’.
I ask you to reconsider your position. Brexit is going to add considerably more damage to the British economy at a time when it is massively struggling under the economic pressure caused by COVID. I am aware the PM Johnson was in talks with the President of the European Commission yesterday and I assume that is to try and cobble together some sort of deal for Mr Johnson to then sell to the British people as the best deal ever when we all know that at best it will give Britain a few crumbs from the EU table and will still cause, what could turn out be, irreparable damage to the British economy with no hope in the short or medium term of even the semblance of a deal with the USA to mitigate a small part of the damage.
I am therefore asking you to put Britain first and to put pressure on the Executive to go to the European Council and ask for Brexit to be suspended for 2 years with Britain still in transition mode. Your current leader should have no difficulty in doing another u-turn to achieve this as he is very used to doing them. A two year suspension of Brexit will give your Party time to sort out what is clearly a failure of leadership and the Government time to get control of how the country can begin to live with the COVID 19 virus without severely damaging either the economy or the health of the nation.
In these crazy times it becomes difficult to tell satire from real life, so here’s a little help to separate facts from fiction:
FACT : Priti Patel has banned protests of more than two people so that Johnson can “Get Brexit Done”, without having to have any visible resistance on the streets. We can still organise resistance. See 11 ways to SuspEND Brexit in a COVID safe way.
FICTION : Donald Trump has not been accepted by Martians. Applications outside the Solar System have also been rejected by Star Trek command.
FACT : The Trump meltdown means that Boris Johnson has no “BATNA” in negotiation terms (BATNA = Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement). Just to follow the car showroom analogy, the EU showroom and US showrooms are not of equivalent value anyway, since 50% of our trade comes from our relationship with the EU. Walking out of the EU showroom to the Trump one is rather like leaving the Mercedes showroom for the Trabant one, in terms of cars.
FICTION : Nigel Farage has not infected anyone with COVID. He has however infected 17.4 million people with a pack of lies. Many people have now awakened to this fact and no longer want Brexit.
FACT : Boris Johnson has had to do a U Turn on COVID, due to Dither and Delayfor 6 weeks. He was told by scientists to introduce a lockdown on 22 September. Instead he waited 6 weeks to do so until bonfire night. In doing so he has already placed tens of thousands of people on the Corona bonfire. This will likely mean that the lockdown will be extended. Basically:
A stitch in time saves nine
FICTION : There is no such thing as a COVIDIOT detector. However there are many vital signs : the assumption that every nurse and doctor in the world is in on the “scam” ; the suggestion that dead people are fabrications and so on.
FACT : Nigel Farage’s new Reform party is spreading a very dangerous disease : ignorance. It will kill more people. Nearly 40 Tory MP’s turned into anti-maskers yesterday when the lockdown vote was taken.
FACT : Mars cannot support intelligent life. It can however support Donald Trump. Donald did claim that Mars was in fact part of the Moon in 2019. More on Brexit and David Bowie at Rebel Rebel.
FICTION : Larry the Cat has not been touched by Donald Trump.
FACT : Nigel Farage has not managed to blow up Parliament. Please give a penny for the guy, as Nigel’s Reform party appears to be failing. In other news, Thanet and Swale MP’s Craig McKinlay and Gordon Henderson have just voted against lockdown. It is perhaps no coincidence that their constituencies have the highest incidence of COVID in Kent. They get our award for COVIDIOTS and are literally going to be responsible for further unnecessary deaths through their careless attitudes towards the people that voted for them. Write to them to express your concerns : Craig McKinlay ; Gordon Henderson.
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With thanks to the image of Boris Johnson by Charlie Everett.
Here’s a sharp reflection on the week’s developments over the pond from our stalwart anti-Brexit anti-Trump campaigner Don Adamson, written on November 3rd and left as a contrast to the developing news. Johnson has no BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement) with the EU in the wake of Trump’s demise from power. Time to SuspEND Brexit now that Brexit is Trumped. Please write to your MP today on this matter.
November 03, 2020
Across the USA people begin to vote. Over 100 million have already voted and we await the long process that is election day. As millions prepare I reflect how very few will actually decide on anything than an emotion or even at worst insecurity. The political process in the USA is now simply that of identification.
The author formerly known as Don Adamson.
As we prepare for the great God Demos I think of how much the founding fathers of the USA feared Demos, the demagogue and indeed ancient Athens. I have finished listening to Gore Vidal’s book ‘1876’. It’s about the election of that year where a corrupt Republican party stole the election by corruption, manipulation and intimidation. Then I think on the events of 2020, as armed Trump supporters surround a Biden bus in Texas and Trumpian SA like militia stand outside polling stations intimidating African American voters. Fascism has come to the USA wrapped in the flag and carrying the bible. Whoever wins, it is clear that the USA is broken and the culture wars that are waged will soon to turn to that of civil war. America will break as the declining white males lose influence and power. Fear and loathing grows. Trump devalues knowledge, learning, respect and tolerance. The battle inside the large ego of a 74 year old toddler with a thin skin spills out to possess the electorate.
A boarded-up Washington prepares
Our 2016 composition on Trump – depressed jazz.
In 1876, the result was not known for days. I suspect it will be the same this week. I shall watch the results tonight and speculate. Biden’s lead is far more substantial than Clinton’s and of the 8 states that Trump won last time six show substantial leads for the Democrats. Biden should win but it remains a totemic prize. A corporate Democratic victory will enable the USA to take a few steps back from the abyss of WASP Fascism. It will give brief breathing space to allow a socialist grouping to emerge for the first time since since the days of Eugene Debs and Upton Sinclair. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will be part of a socialist bridge head in the American state. If Bernie Sanders becomes Secretary of State of Labour, radical policies not seen since FDR will become possible.
Dump Trump.
We stand at a crossroads. A Trump victory will embolden the far right across the world. It will empower Farage here with a Libertatarian COVID denying, conspiracy laced party to burst onto the political scene in time for election to the Welsh Senedd and create a block of them within it. The street gangs of the DFLA and the EDL will soon be on our streets intimidating and silencing opposition.
Nigel’s new party – Licensed to Kill.
And so today, my thoughts are with the young people of the USA the radicals, the left, the feminists, those of Black Lives Matter standing up against the red necks with their AK 47s, their prejudice and hatred. The USA stands at the crossroads, but we also stand with them. As in the USA so it will be here soon. This is the moment as the Moon wanes and the days shorten.
The world is changing but to what direction and purpose? America will break. That is certain. A new nadir like 1876 is here. The next century will see a new period of history. Post Modern Fascism is here and the moment of choice will be made. Chlorinated chicken after Brexit awaits us with a Trump victory. The dice are rolling and knives are out … what will be will be … and the scales hang in the balance.. the only thing certain is that America is in terminal decline and much that was will soon be swept away for good or ill. If Trump loses, he faces prosecution and conviction. If he wins, the whole world faces the same, but our judge and jury will be the generations who come after. Gilead will be born in the USA and fused with a new American Third Reich.
Let us stand in the eye of the Hegelian storm between thesis and antithesis. A brutal synthesis will follow. Whomever wins, things will never be the same again. A COVID post modernism beyond perception awaits to be born as a slouching beast lurks with its ginger hair and crawls towards the swamp. All things threaten to fall apart …
Take Action
Write to your MP and demand that they oppose the toxic combination of Corona + Brexit
Write to the press with the same ambition
Write to EU leaders and encourage them to hold firm on Brexit negotiations now that Johnson is alone
Please do not give in to Bullingdon Bullies – we have been betrayed by our own Government. Do not encourage more bad behaviour https://t.co/jxmdYdcin8
— Reboot Britain – Rage Against The Brexit Machine (@BrexitRage) November 7, 2020
Daily Maul. Click on the image for our satire book on Brexit.
In today’s spoof edition of the Sun, it’s hard to tell satire from reality as Johnson retreats from criticism of his handling of Carrie, Cummings, Corona and the ongoing Britastrophe from the toxic cocktail of Brexit + Corona. This Brexit self isolation is not really good enough, especially as it seems he broke lockdown rules to meet one of his MPs.
Nut Nuts – Read all the editions by clicking on “The Sun”
In case you are not sure which is the fake news and which is real, here is a guide:
Belgium did win the football match 2 – Nil. The playing field was level, unlike our approach to Brexit negotiations, where we want want to kick the ball into the goal whilst the other side are off the pitch.
Johnson did meet with an MP last week, breaking lockdown and causing his Brexit Self Isolation. There was no reason why he could not have done this remotely. It seems very convenient, as it means he gets to avoid questions about Cummings going, Christmas, COVID and the tragic state of Brexit negotiations which climax this Friday. Remember a Brexit deal is WORSE than no deal in terms of the long term future for our children. See Brexit Choices.
Carrie Symonds texts Johnson 20 times a day whilst he is trying to run the country. We now have reached the Eva Braun / Linda Mc Cartney / Yoko Ono / Princess Nut Nut moment of English democracy, where the will of the people has been replaced by the whim of the blonde bimbo Boris.
There is no medical virus called Brexitosis. However, it becomes clear that Brexit has now occupied the minds of a few swivel eyed loons in the ERG, whilst the vast majority of the British public are bored rigid by Brexit and want Brexit flushed down the pan.
Johnson did say F..ck Business. This is the new Tory party. Can you really approve of someone who does this?
Mark Francois is still missing in action. What can be wrong? Write to Mark and wish him a speedy recovery.
We do believe that Larry the cat’s box was stolen by Cummings. Sources close to No 10 suggest that Larry was the only “person” who was not taken in by Cummings’ lies. Tweet Larry on the matter:
@Number10cat We are worried that #Cummings took your box Larry. Can we provide another for you?
On Monday 5th October, the House of Commons are due to debate the petition to Halt Brexit for a Public Inquiry. It would be very useful if you would write to your MP on the subject. Here are some sample letters to use. To write to your MP, please go to Write to Them.
Dear xxx,
I write to ask you to support the motion to Halt Brexit for a Public Enquiry on Monday 5th October. It must have become obvious to you that Corona crisis + Brexit disaster = a Britastrophe. If you are not convinced, I’d ask you to read the report by LSE, summarised at https://brexitrage.com/brexonomics
Of course, it’s not all about economics. We seem to be headed towards no deal Brexit again, having been deemed illegal by the House of Commons in the last Parliament. It is widely predicted that Brexit will lead to extremely bad social outcomes in the winter of 2021, alongside flu, flooding and the 2nd COVID wave. with medicine and food shortages. Are the deaths of children and vulnerable people to be your epitaph as an MP?
It is time to show that you are able to take principled decisions when the good of the nation is at stake. You will be aware that the Supreme Court stated that Brexit would have been deemed illegal had the referendum been binding, but deferred the judgement because of the non-binding nature of the Brexit vote. We also know that the desire to leave the European Union has now declined to just 35% versus 57% wishing to remain. We are at present in a situation where international law may be breached if we pursue the provisions of the Internal Market Act. I’d hazard a guess that the only trade deals we’ll be pursuing will be with North Korea and Venezuela in such circumstances.
I await your answer.
Yours sincerely
YOUR NAME
Dear xxx
I see that petitions about Brexit are to be debated in Parliament on 5 October. One of them is “Halt Brexit for a Public Enquiry” because the Electoral Commission decided that illegal overspending occurred during the Referendum campaign. Another is about extending the transition period.
At the time of the Brexit referendum, nobody could have foreseen Covid. I have always been a Remainer but I do appreciate that many who voted for Brexit were making the best decision that they could with the knowledge they had at the time. Many, of course, are now changing their minds and I appreciate that it takes a lot of courage for people to say that they think the decision to leave the EU was wrong. I hate all the personal attacks and insults and division in the country.
Times have changed tremendously since the Brexit vote. As you will be well aware, the number of Covid-19 cases is rising nationally. We should be concentrating on defeating Covid and rebuilding Britain.. Brexit on top of Covid will do untold damage that will last for generations.
I believe that you are a hard-working and honest MP. Dominic Cummings’ trip to Durham was a big trigger for those disobeying the Government rules now. I really don’t like the current dishonesty in Government, and am shocked by the idea of breaking international law. At school years ago we were taught that the use of “Conservative” in the party came from the idea of “conserving what is good.” But that is not what’s happening at the moment – many of the elements I have always loved about Britain – the sense of fairness, the honesty, the belief in the rule of law, even the quality of our food, the feeling of “safety”, the availability of medicines – are being jettisoned because of the 2016 vote and determination to stick to the result no matter what the damage to the country.
I hope that debating these petitions will help the Government to reconsider its policy and change its approach.
Very best wishes
YOUR NAME
Dear xxx
Petitions about Brexit are, I understand, to be debated in Parliament on 5 October. One covers extending the Transition period. The other is “Halt Brexit for a Public Enquiry” because the Electoral Commission decided that illegal overspending occurred during the Referendum campaign.
I am aware that H.M. Government were fully aware of the implications of the Withdrawal Agreement via DExEU and that it was fully aware of preparations that needed to be made, and would have a plan to achieve them all in time.
It has become clear that this is not the case. The arrangements (Deal or No Deal) would have needed to be settled at least, say, 6 months at least before the implementation date, and yet we now have only 3 months to go, the possibility of a Deal sabotaged by the Internal Market Bill, and no evident plan that has any measure of bilateral agreement. The evidence for 31st December 2020 being an appropriate date was thin from the beginning. The evidence that it is now the appropriate date does not exist.
Importantly, the proposal now from the Tory Party is unambiguously a proposal for No Deal, because the EU will make no treaties with an organisation that breaks the agreements already made. So we therefore need to discard the suggestion that the “Will of the People” is being carried out, since “No Deal” was never proposed in the referendum. It would be sensible however to investigate the process by which votes were obtained in that referendum, because that will be helpful in any decision to set that result aside and investigate what is truly wanted or wise in 2020 / 2021
I hope that debating these petitions will help the Government to reconsider these points and change its approach.
With best wishes
YOUR NAME
I write to ask you to support the motion to Halt Brexit for a Public Enquiry on Monday 5th October. It must have become obvious to you that Corona crisis + Brexit disaster = a Britastrophe.
A Free-Trade Agreement (FTA) envisaged by Theresa May’s government would have provided 2 years for an orderly transition of business, and government long-term economic analyses are based on this. Since then we have approached a No-Deal precipice three times with another fast approaching, and businesses have not had the time to prepare. The current government, influenced by the coronavirus crisis, has given itself carte blanche to spend whatever it wants on anything at all and is flailing, indecisively wasting huge quantities of money on hypothetical eventualities. There is still no certainty about what comes next and this is going to cause permanent heavy damages to British businesses, far worse than the original long-term analysis predicted.
Please stand up for your country and our children’s futures and support the motion to Halt Brexit for a Public Enquiry.
With best wishes
YOUR NAME
Dear xxx,
I have adopted a ‘wait and see approach’ about the Internal Markets Bill, despite my concerns. With the Bill now having passed through the House of Commons, those concerns were clearly justified.
Surely Conservative backbenchers should have learned by now that reassurances or undertakings from Johnson are worthless? Haven’t the last nine months proved beyond doubt that Johnson agreed the Withdrawal Bill and the Political Declaration merely to persuade critics in his own and other parties to agree to a general election? Having got his majority, he swiftly reneged on the fundamental issue for the EU, the level playing field. Then he selected Mr Frost, a known enemy of the EU and non-believer in regulatory alignment, to ensure a drawn-out unproductive negotiation. Now he is playing the same trick. Unless you and others support the petitions due to be discussed next week in the Commons, he will surely proceed to No Deal and use the illegal measures in the Bill, once it has become law.
Bogus accusations of bad faith by the EU will be the excuse. This process has already begun. I have a seen a reply from another MP. This refers to a nebulous EU threat to block the sale of British agricultural products within the EU. This, it is claimed, ‘would prevent the transfer of animal products from Great Britain to Northern Ireland under the Northern Ireland Protocol.’ No information is given as to who made this threat, whether it has formal status and the forum in which it was made. This may be the party line, but without such details, one may doubt whether it was ever made, given the Government’s record of dishonest propaganda. There is also a list of scenarios in which the Bill’s illegal provisions would be used. These assume bad faith or unreasonable actions by the EU in the future , and are highly provocative. As the record clearly shows , it is the British side, not the EU, which has acted in bad faith throughout the negotiations and continues to do so, notably by the mere act of passing an illegal Bill through Parliament.”
In this matter, as in much else, one can seen the hand of Dominic Cummings behind the scenes. This over-powerful adviser has no respect for our Institutions, Parliament, the Constitution or the law itself. He has built a power base at the heart of Government which is already beyond accountability. His activities are not confined to ‘getting Brexit done’. Our planning system, our local democracy and the BBC are under threat. There is a stench of corruption and cronyism emanating from No 10. Irrespective of the outcome of Brexit, it is time for Conservative MPs to act as they did following the 2017 general election. Then they told the Prime Minister that unless she dispensed with her advisors, Nicholas Timothy and Fiona Hill, she would face a leadership challenge. In the name of Britain’s democracy the same needs to be done now in the case of Dominic Cummings and his tribe of aides. If Johnson is unable to do without him, it is time for him to be replaced.
Apologies for the length of this e-mail and all best wishes as ever
YOUR NAME
LETTERS WORK – See this reply – this MP is clearly conflicted but can say no more publicly.
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