Baroness Dido Harding stated today that no one could’ve foreseen the upsurge in demand for Corona virus testing at the present time. Really? At this time, schools across the country have been going back. Almost any parent could have told her that, at the beginning of term after the long holiday, many children catch a cold or at least a sniffle almost at once. Under current instructions, this requires them to be taken out of school for a coronavirus test and not return until and unless there is a negative result. Typhoid Harding’s statement shows her total ignorance of modern life and lack of common sense which disqualifies her for any post in this or probably any other area of public service. Matt Hancock continues to support her incompetence.
Blinkered
But at least Dido’s track record has been consistent. Failed at Talk Talk. Failed at stopping people herding at Cheltenham. Failed at the NHS. Failed at Corona Test, Track and Trace. Will she go down with that ship?
I know I left too much mess and Destruction to come back again And I caused nothing but trouble I understand if you can’t talk to me again And if you live by the rules of it’s over Then I’m sure that that makes sense
We went out to the quaint town of Deal in Kent yesterday. I heaved a sigh on the morning as I wondered whether it was worth writing a press release for local media. I remembered one of the maxims I took, not from my MBA, but from George Michael and Wham “If you’re gonna do it, do it right”. So I dashed off a press release and mailed local media outlets.
Cats and Dogs against Brexit
A couple of hours later the press release was picked up by a fantastic journalist. I got straight on to her by phone as we were on our way to the event, managing to lose our way due to multi-tasking on the way! A few more hours later and we had coverage across all Kent with our message that Corona Crisis + Brexit disaster = A Britastrophe. The journalist even included our video, which was quite surprising as it is fairly biased against Brexit. Of course, a note to Byline Times, controversy sells newspapers …
Find the article Kent Online – The comments from a few remaining Brexiteers are quite something to behold. There is far less push back than one year ago but still some of the usual diehards are claiming that they are taking back control just when Boris Johnson is removing all of our rights and the rule of law. These few keyboard warriors are not representative of the vast majority of people, who actually agreed with our proposition, even in Brexity Deal. Brexit realities are at last beginning to sink in with the toxic combination of Corona + Brexit worth a whopping 12% + 9% GDP loss on our economy if we continue with Brexit on 31.12.20. I’d cancel Christmas for the kids right now.
In other news, our latest blog post “Snitch on your MP“ has been extremely well received. In this article, we ask people to report MPs for breaking international law. Feel free to share and snitch on the MPs – it’s the morally right thing to do.
We will soon reach the eye of the COVID-Brexit storm. This offers an opportunity for suspension of Brexit. Our song “Britastrophe” will be launched soon, to be sent to MPs as well as enjoyed in its own right.
We continue to face various threats from trolls and local lunatics. Please support our campaign to protect my family against these people.
I deplore NIMBY-ism (Not In My Back Yard). It typifies the English condition. It is an underlying cause of our Brexit vote (fear of foreigners, “my home is my castle”, Rule Britannia and so on). We experienced a small dose of NIMBY-sim in conversation with the good ladies of Deal on Sunday. We took the seaside town by storm with some candyfloss and cockles. Although the women we spoke to voted for Brexit, they demonstrated typical English parochial self-interest:
“If it does not affect me, I don’t care”
Yet, even these fine women had changed their mind about Brexit. They realised that their quaint town will be filled with lorries from Dover shortly, under any Brexit deal.
Operation Truss – protecting our borders with cheesy stories about Japanese trade deals
So, I cannot help reflect on the looming case of NIMBY-ism about to befall my fellow men of Kent and Kentish women. It was announced on the BBC that 7000 lorries would soon be blocking the roads in Kent and the South East. This represents a single lane queue of some 72 miles, stretching approximately from Dover to Greenwich, Gatwick or Guildford. Of course. it won’t be a single lane queue though …
No, it will be worse than this. About 18 months ago, I spoke with some Councillors at Kent County Council who had undertook some serious road planning for Brexit. Their studies indicated that, in the age of SatNavs, people would attempt to use villages and B roads to beat the jams. Just a few people doing this will effectively block most villages in East Kent. They concluded that big towns like Folkestone, Dover, Ashford, Canterbury, Whitstable, Thanet Maidstone and The Medway Towns would be gridlocked.
Does it get worse? Of course it does. Once minor roads and villages are gridlocked, teachers, carers, nurses, business people etc. will be unable to get to work. Their children will have to stay at home. Contagion dictates that the impact of Brexit is very much in your back garden (and everyone else’s). Today it was reported that Kent will have an internal border something like the island of Ireland, with fines and police enforcement for lorries without the correct papers. Yet, we don’t have enough permits or customs agents to provide the said papers! Michael Gove says it is business leaders that are to blame for this. I rather think it is Michael Gove for not building capacity and capability.
You may well say, we knew that Brexit would make things worse. Well, consider these further facts of life from my experience as a pharmaceutical scientist and business person. 90% of our food supply comes from Europe, especially in winter. Much of it relies on cold storage (cook-chill, fresh food and so on). So that means that much of our food will stand rotting on the M20 and M2, if Kent County Council’s scenarios come to pass. The leaked Government report predicts up to two days delay per lorry in Kent and the South East.
“No problem, I don’t eat” you may say. Well the problem extends to people who need healthcare, as many drugs are imported and some also crucially rely on carefully controlled temperature conditions. Others have limited shelf lives anyway. Radioisotopes literally rely on limited half-lives, especially technetium generators, which are the mainstay of UK nuclear medicine scans. This means that babies and vulnerable people will die for Brexit. Still happy with half a life? Will your child settle for death, in order to deliver a windfall to Jacob Rees-Mogg?
Boris Johnson has just announced extreme measures for social control to suppress resistance to Brexit chaos. Are you still happy about this? If you voted to Remain, are you simply going to lay down and pretend to be dead, based on the notion that spaffer Johnson popped Brexit in the Microwave, Gas Mark 4 on Halloween, then again on December 12 2019 and finally on 31.01.20? if you voted for Brexit are you now beginning to think that Johnny Rotten was right:
“Ever had the feeling you’ve been conned?”
Project fear I hear you say? No, I’m afraid this is project fact. Whether you voted for Brexit or not, my guess is that you did not vote for lorries in your back yard.
It is necessary to suspend Brexit in such drastic circumstances. Corona has contributed a 12% decline in GDP with Brexit predicted to add between 5-11% more. We have to endure Corona as a natural phenomenon, but we don’t need to add Brexit to create a “Britastrophe”, as Brexit is a man-made phenomenon. The economics don’t just add together to produce approximately 20% loss of GDP by the way. In any case, it only took 3.5% GDP loss to produce the 2008 crash. Do you really want this for your kids?
No Brexit is the only good Brexit. Suspension is the next best option, followed by No Deal and then a Brexit deal. Read why by clicking the image.
Boris Johnson has accused the EU of not negotiating seriously. As is often the case, where Johnson is concerned, the facts show the exact opposite. From the outset of the negotiations, there were three unproductive years during which Theresa May negotiated, mostly, not with the EU, but with the Brexiteer extremists in her own party. Johnson played a major part in ensuring that any deal that May drew up with the EU did not gain the support of the Tory right wing which she regarded as essential as a one nation Tory. Throughout this time, he ensured that it was Britain, not the EU, that wasted time rather than negotiating seriously.
Once he became prime minister, Johnson scrapped May’s proposed deal and instead negotiated with the EU a withdrawal agreement and a political declaration laying down agreed principles for a future free trade deal. (The withdrawal agreement has the status of an international treaty, binding in international law; the declaration is non-binding). This enabled him to gain sufficient support in the British Parliament to hold a general election. However, having achieved a substantial majority, he retracted his agreement to a major element in the political declaration, the level playing field which requites alignment of regulations in certain or areas – environment, workers conditions, tax and state aid. The level playing field is regarded by the EU as an essential condition for access to the tariff and quota-free single market. If Johnson had merely required some adjustment to aspects of one or more the areas concerned, this might have been negotiable, within the non-binding terms of the declaration. However, by reneging on the whole concept, regarded by the EU as an essential guarantee that free trade should also be fair, Johnson made it clear that he never intended to stand by the political declaration’s terms once it had served its purpose. That purpose was to fool opponents of No Deal in his own party and other parties into believing that he sincerely intended to strike a deal with the EU, so that they would cease blocking the general election. This is not the behaviour of a serious international negotiator or statesman.
All successful negotiations rely on trust
Johnson’s (or more likely Dominic Cummings) choice of negotiator, David Frost, is another indicator of their approach to the negotiations. Frost outlined his own views on trade policy early on when he said that:
“It’s possible to be political partner and economic competitor. Economic competition, between countries as between firms, boosts wealth for everybody in the long run …”
This approach fundamentally misunderstands business as much as it does politics. It leaves little room for alignment of regulations, as required in a level playing field. Frost has not said what sort of competitive practices he thinks countries might legitimately use under his concept of ‘wealth-creating’ competition. Perhaps they might be these:
This sort of free for all leads eventually to trade wars, as seen today between China and the United States. They create poverty for everyone, not wealth as Mr Frost claims. The appointment of a negotiator whose outlook leads to trade wars is not a serious approach to a free trade negotiation.
Behind bars
Johnson is trying to avoid blame for the inevitable catastrophe of No Deal if this occurs over the main unresolved issues of state aids and fish. That is why he is now, disgracefully, denouncing the Withdrawal Agreement, which he himself devised earlier this year and freely entered into. Comment on this, and on the unresolved issues, will be covered in next week’s issue.
Adrian Ekins-Daukes
Write to your MP – Ask Brexit to be suspended in the wake of international law breaking and the installation of a Junta in the UK
It is fine to challenge the government to deliver the Brexit they promised and point out the failings when they don’t. It is not fine to pretend that any Brexit is going to be better than what we have thrown away. It is fine to say we want the government to get a good deal that does not compromise the Good Friday Agreement. It is not fine to pretend that a good deal that does not compromise the Good Friday Agreement is actually possible.
When Johnson fails abysmally to get anything like the deal he was promising or indeed any deal, what are you going to be saying ? You cannot in all honesty support a government that has put the peace in Ireland at risk. Nor can you support a government that wilfully gets to the end of the year with only WTO tariffs to trade on. You are quite right to say that the PM should be focussing all his attention on COVID and getting the virus under control, so tell him to suspend Brexit and come back to it when the threat of COVID has passed. Corona Crisis + Brexit Disaster = A Britastrophe
Conservatives pride themselves on being the Party of law and order. Why are they advocating to break the law. Managing Brexit on top of the disaster they have had in controlling the virus is going to cost them dear come the local elections in May. Surely they would be better calling for a suspension of Brexit to concentrate on getting the virus under control.
Buy British is trending on Twitter. Since I consider myself a patriot, as someone who wishes to keep the Great in Britain by remaining in the EU, I wondered, what can we buy that is British?
Food, Glorious Food
When people tell me that Britain is full, they need to realise that we congregate on approximately 5% of the land mass. 70% of our land is agricultural with 36% arable. The rest grassland, rough grazing, or woodland. From the land, we mostly produce grains; wheat, oats and barley; root vegetables, chiefly potatoes and sugar beet; pulses such as beans or peas; forage crops such as cabbages, rape and kale; fruit, particularly apples and pears; and hay. We produce about 6.5 million tonnes of barley. 1.5 million tonnes are exported, 2 million tonnes used in brewing and distilling activities and the remainder fed to livestock. After Brexit, Michael Gove has admitted that we will see tariffs applied to meat of up to 40%. The Grocer reported that exports outside the EU may not be accepted at all. Lamb farmers are especially vulnerable, as 98% of their production is exported and their business runs on narrow margins.
UK self sufficiency has dropped from 75% to 61%
Apart from the economics, estimates suggest that 90% of the 75,000 seasonal workers in edible horticulture in the UK are migrants from the EU. They will no longer be eligible to come here to pick the fruit and evidence suggests that Britons do not wish to do the work. Read our article on traffic contagion in Kent for more insights.
So, what foods will we not see on our shelves so much after Brexit? Here’s a short list:
“Still, the turnip is quite versatile”
“How about a good British Curry” I hear you say? Well the sauces are made in Patak’s factory in Poland. I understand that people are stockpiling Christmas Puddings, presumably informed by the instruction from Wizzard Johnson that “I wish it could be Christmas every day”. Sadly many of the ingredients are not indigenous to Britain.
Highway Star
“We make cars” I hear you say. Quite correct. Our most popular cars are made by Nissan (Japanese), Land Rover (Indian), Mini (German), Honda (Japanese) and Toyota (Japanese). Tariffs will make cars made in Britain more expensive to buy domestically or uncompetitive to export. We have already seen industry making tough choices on where to locate production and this will continue under Brexit.
Chris Barnett points out that if you want to buy a British car you can buy a Morgan. The engine is German though.
Fad Gadgets
Then there are the rest of the things we consume. Electronics, toys, computers. Most of them are imports which are therefore subject to whatever trade deals and relationships we chose to strike with the rest of the world if we continue with Brexit. Our level of trusthworthiness will largely dictate how these go.
Read our article on Trust by clicking the picture
The Drugs Don’t Work
And it’s not just food. See our article on medicine shortages. People will die for Brexit. Are you prepared to accept this on behalf of friends and loved ones? It’s all on you if you continue to want any kind of Brexit. Ask Wendy Novak about health and medicines after Brexit.
But we have lots of tanning booths, nail bars and hair salons, so that’s alright then …
Dang, most of our cosmetic products are imported
Read our article on how to suspend Brexit by clicking the picture
Read our article on why Rejoining is a unicorn in the mid-long term by clicking the picture
Don’t just sit there:
Gift Britastrophe to MPs to prick their consciences on the toxic mixture of Corona + Brexit
Join us at Futurama – an arts festival to change the world
There is no future in England’s dreaming
“We won the war. We won the World Cup. We won Brexit. I’ve not idea what it’s for but I’ll look a bit of a twat down the pub with my mates if I say so”
Still, the Brexiteers can drown in Watneys’ Red Barrel whilst Jacob Rees-Mogg laughs all the way to his tax haven
Today, Boris Johnson will promise to power the UK with wind by 2030. In particular he promises £160 million in ports and factories across the country to manufacture the next generation of turbines. Malcolm Miller helpfully points out that this is about “half a footballer”.
It’s an ideal time for Boris to harness the winds of change. While he hasn’t quite blown it with the electorate, some of his back benchers have really got the wind up recently: at his inability to provide leadership, to offer a strategy or fulfil the simplest 3-word pledge. Now, perhaps it’s time to “Make Britain Whirl-beating”.
Since he was a cub reporter in Brussels, Johnson has always been a fan of hot air: from the supposed ban on prawn-flavoured crisps, to a fabrication on euro-coffins, he’s always known the power of a good wind-up. As a man capable of fabricating ‘an inverted pyramid of piffle’ on a whim, we’ve seen his promises on a checkless border for Northern Ireland, an oven-ready Brexit deal and 40 new hospitals for the NHS. Ireland is an unsolvable conundrum, the oven-ready deal’s in the bin, and 40 has shrunk to 6. So, how many times can a man talk up an empty pledge, before he can die in a ditch? Perhaps the answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.
Whilst a blow-by-blow account of Boris’s lies has inflated more blogs than your average gas-bag, let’s look at few choice outbursts:
Let’s spend £350 million per week on the NHS.
Let’s take back control of our fish.
There will be no checks on goods coming and going to Northern Ireland.
We’ll build 40 new hospitals. Six were built.
If I don’t get Brexit done by Halloween, I will die in a ditch.
“How many times can a man talk up an empty pledge, before he can die in a ditch? Perhaps the answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind” – Jane Berry
“Wind power couldn’t take the skin off a rice pudding” – Boris Johnson
We’ll get 50 000 more nurses in the NHS.
Pop Brexit in the microwave, gas mark 4.
I’ve had to give drinking up until Brexit is done.
When we leave the EU we can ban shark fin soup.
“Operation Moonshot” (millions of Corona tests with results within minutes) will see mass Corona testing by November. He did not say how many minutes or which year.
When we leave the EU we can have straight bananas.
We’ll get 20 000 more police officers on the street. They sacked 20 000 police offers in 2010.
EU regulations stop us lowering lorry windows to help cyclists.
“I didn’t make any remarks about Turkey” in the referendum”, after indicating that Turkey (population 76 million) is joining the EU.
With thanks to Catherine Reynolds
I will lie (sic) down in front of the bulldozers at Heathrow to stop them building the runway. Instead he was AWOL at the vote.
There may be bumps in the road with no deal.
“I have not had an affair with Petronella. It is complete balderdash”.
Of the tests conducted at the 199 testing centres, as well as the mobile centres, they’re all done within 24 hours.
We will havea world-beating “test and trace” system by 1 June. Johnson did not say which year …
If you have lived overseas for 15 years Britons, unlike other foreign nationals, get no vote. Boris promised to abolish this law / rule when he came to power.
[20 000 people died unnecessarily in care homes] because too many care homes didn’t really follow the procedures in the way that they could have.
We will beat the virus by Christmas. He did not say which year …
We’ll help everyone cycle via the fix my bike scheme. The website broke on launch and then they said the scheme had closed.
And some surprises we did not expect:
A hard border in Kent and a “passport” scheme for people driving to Europe.
“Black people are piccaninnies with watermelon smiles”.
On Muslim face veils, Johnson said it is “absolutely ridiculous that people should choose to go around looking like letterboxes”.
Johnson backed a failed plan for a “floating paradise” across the River Thames wasting £43 million of your taxes. A mere trifle in comparison with the £200 billion blown on Brexit so far.
Boris has always favoured breezing through life with no responsibility. But with 15,000 test results lost, 70 mile lorry queues predicted for Kent, and power cuts predicted for next year, perhaps the time is coming when he might reap the whirlwind after all.
Don’t just sit there:
Gift Britastrophe to MPs to prick their consciences on the toxic mixture of Corona + Brexit
As COVIDIOTS break lockdown, we sum up Brexit and other world news. Using the medium of “The Sunday Sun” …. Yesterday’s news tomorrow.
Here’s a few facts to ground the populist satire:
Boris Johnson actually used M People’s “Search for the Hero inside yourself” in his party conference speech last week. This marked his complete transition to the “David Brent” of politics. He also quoted himself when talking about windpower. He suggested that “someone else” said that windpower could not blow the skin off a rice pudding. That someone else was in fact Boris Johnson.
Matt Hancock broke lockdown rules by drinking in The House of Commons after 10 pm. Stanley Johnson has also broken lockdown rules on several occasions recently. As COVIDIOTS break lockdown, we ask how reasonable is it for Police to fine members of the public or insist on lockdown rules. As they say in Leadership “The fish rots from the head”.
MP’s have been awarded a £3300 pay rise. Just for comparison, Brexit has cost each and every one of us £3000 so far. Is this what they mean by “levelling up”?
Stockpiling has begun again in earnest, with restrictions on the purchase of some goods. The COVID food crisis was more or less caused by panic buying. However the looming Brexit disaster will be based on real supply shortages over the medium – long term. Here’s a list of foods that will likely be in short supply after Brexit, if we allow this “Britastrophe” to continue.
With thanks to Helga Perry, Susanna Leissle, Irina Fridman and Judith Spencer for the inspiration for our “Sun” page.
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