I met a Latvian anti-Brexit sports therapist in the sauna today. Got a free consultation and some very good advice on my rehabilitation after the near death experience after hitting a lorry travelling at 50 mph on my bicycle. As well as the advice on my recovery, we had a wonderful conversation about the sheer stupidity of the British people and the gentle art of Brexorcism. I live in a 70% Brexity area. Racism is high on the list of reasons for voting Brexit and a good number of my ‘clients’ are in a state of ‘Bregret’, although some do not know quite how to say it, especially if they are high testosterone overweight males. The sauna acts as some kind of non-secular confessional box.
The social contract in a sauna prevents escalation of difficult conversations with Brexiteers in my experience. Quite a different setting to a pub or cafe. Once again, I’m finding that being nearly naked disarms even the most ardent Brexiteers in my area. I have had lots of difficult conversations with some of them this last week whilst healing my broken bones.
DISCLAIMER : The cover picture is not representative of the clientele in the sauna in Strood! Nor will you meet Johnson naked in my local sauna!
To find out how to Brexorcise your friends, family etc. read the books – now available on ETSY. For a masterclass on the topic, join us at WorldWide Wednesday on Wed Aug 03 7.00 pm via ZOOM.
Available to buy direct from the author via ETSY. Also on Amazon at a higher price.Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or buy direct from the author via ETSY
We wish to fight the next election. Support our campaign via Patreon, Paypal or GoFundMe.
As Liz Truss becomes more desperate to win the election, her measures become more desperate. But the Janusian confusion in “Trussian” thinking continues. The key question is “Do you trust Truss?” We depicted the question in the Queen song “Now I’m here” in the attached video “The Two Minds of Liz Truss”. Famously, Freddie Mercury sings “Now I’m here” from one side of the stereo field and “Now I’m there” from the other side. Truss is all over the place – even surround sound could not cover Truss’ ever changing moods !!
We made the video to leaven Truss’ chances of winning. A Prime Minister with no real majority will find it hard to enact radical policies and the ideal ironic election result would be 52 : 48.
Available to order direct from ebay – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com. Also on Amazon at a higher price.
Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com
We wish to fight the next election. Support our campaign via Patreon, Paypal or GoFundMe.
Extract from the book Private Eyelines. Britain officially slid into what looks like an L-Shaped recession today (L stands for LONG). Whilst Corona undoubtedly provided the tipping point into recession, we must also look longer into the past for the underlying reasons. The FTreports that UK is the worst performing nation in Europe regarding our decline into recession under Corona. Brexit must therefore be added in terms of how deep and rapid our plunge into recession has been. Brexit uncertainly has laid the table for our Britastrophe, making Britain especially vulnerable in terms of resilience. The term resilience is essentially our ability to ride out tough times. Longer term, adding a man made disaster in slow motion (Brexit) to the Corona crisis offers us a “Britastrophe“. We have to endure Corona, but we need not have Brexit.
In March 2020, we made some socio-economic and political forecasts about the coming 6 months. Prediction is largely a dangerous game, but it turns out we were mostly right. We would be very badly advised to add Brexit to our list of problems in 2021 under this analysis:
But here at Rage Against Brexit we look deeper at the underlying economics and today we can report that it seems that Britain’s problems have been caused by … cheese ….
Taking back control … of our Stilton
Liz Truss has made the protection of Stilton a red line in the Brexit talks with Japan. In case you are not familiar, Truss is a massive defender of cheese and has made it her personal mission to defend her “blue veins” against what she considers the “yellow peril” in Brexit talks.
In case you are wondering about the benefits of the “Stilton Clause” as it is referred to in Whitehall, here they are:
Our trade with Japan was worth £31.6 billion last year
The Stilton Wedge is worth £102 million
In case of doubt, a billion is more than a million – a lot more
70% of Japanese people are unable to eat Stilton due to lactose intolerance
Liz Truss: [furiously] “Tell the yellow midgets that they’d better start liking Stilton or they can make their fucking cars in their own country”
The easiest deal in history
You may well ask, why is Liz standing up for cheese? Well, it may have escaped your attention, but we have not done a significant trade deal since we “left” on January 31st, 2020, although we all know that Liam Fox said that getting trade deals was to be the easiest thing in history. Liz needs to bring in the bacon (and brie) pronto, so that we can say we did a better deal with Japan than the EU did … because Stilton is included. Makes sense, eh?
The Stilton Clause” is said to include unlimited supplies of Cheesy Wotsits in exchange for the ceremonial inclusion of a Torii at Cheddar Gorge and its use on premium brand Cheddar:
Moveable Feast
In other news, the much vaunted moveable barrier for the M20 gridlock in Kent promised for 31 December 2020 by Grant Shapps is not going to be ready until 2022. Shapps was heard to say that this would not be a problem, as we would improvise with wedges of cheese in the two year intervening period. Here is an artists’ impression of the SS (Stilton System) in action during the Brexit food shortages.
As Boris will say:
The British Government is crumbling
Sadly Corona, Flu and Flooding are natural phenomena. Brexit is a man-made disaster and we don’t need to add it to the Winter of Discontent. We must avoid a BRITASTROPHE.
Available to order direct from ebay – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com. Also on Amazon at a higher price.
Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com
We wish to fight the next election. Support our campaign via Patreon, Paypal or GoFundMe.
Find all our populist parodies at https://brexitrage.com/gutterpress
EXTRACT from the book Private Eyelines. I’ve noticed that everything is UP in the post-Brexit sunny uplands world. What could have possibly caused this?
Costs of children’s shoes are UP by 20% shortly. Jacob Rees-Mogg promised that shoe prices would plummet after Brexit. Oh dear, Jake was wrong.
Inflation in UK is UP at over 6%. This is exceptional.
Gas prices are UP by 54% In France they are UP by 4% France levied a windfall tax on energy companies using their own sovereign powers. In Brexit Britain our Brexit freedoms seem to have prevented this. How strange?
Hunger is UP.
Food bank usage in Britain is UP, but food bank donations are DOWN.
COVID cases are UP. This is preventing the NHS from treating people with other serious conditions.
DEATHS will be UP but Boris Johnson says that COVID is DOWN. Of course, he is WRONG.
Russian influence is UP.
Sunak’s tax dodging is UP. His holidays in California are UP. More sunny uplands.
Bullshit from the Go Home Office about the Ukrainian refugee settlement scheme is UP.
Queues on the M20 / M2 in Kent are UP. P&O Ferries are only in part to blame. Since we have no resilience in our port systems after Brexit, only a small knock is needed to bring the system to a standstill.
The Brexit IT system is UP the cack. This does not help, but the underlying cause of delays in Kent is Brexit and not the IT system per se. if we did not have Brexit we would not have the crappy IT system and we would not have gridlock in Kent.
Urination is Kent is up as drivers have no place to go (freedom of movement and urination).
National Insurance is UP.
Sea levels are UP.
Hospital parking fees are UP.
Looting is UP.
Tory ethics are DOWN.
Labour is UP.
Tax is UP.
The game is UP.
With thanks to all at Re-Boot Britain for this list. The sunny uplands can only increase. This list is an extract from Private Eyelines.
Available to order direct from ebay – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com. Also on Amazon at a higher price.
Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com
We wish to fight the next election. Support our campaign via Patreon, Paypal or GoFundMe.
Every cloud … This week, I had a serious accident when I was nearly run over and killed on my bicycle by an articulated lorry travelling at 50 mph. I was admitted to A&E and found to have a number of fractured bones in my lower back and in areas connected to the spine. I am presently recuperating. As is the way with such things, people tend to get in touch to find out how you are. My estranged sister was one of them and she was WhatsApping me on Thursday. I decided to break our arrangement of silence and called her by phone. I say estranged because I asked that she stop visiting for family teas some years ago after she said she and her husband voted for Brexit to “keep two million German rapists out of Tonbridge” and to “stop Sharia Law in Britain”. I found our conversation deeply depressing and cut ties for family gatherings as a result. We must still Brexorcise people if we are to move the dial – see Books to change minds, although my sister is not really part of my target market – she is beyond redemption. The phone conversation went something like this:
S: I’m only phoning up to find out how you are Peter. I’m not going to go on about my ailments.
ME: I thank her, explain briefly that I’m OK and answer questions about the accident. As expected this is followed by a full exposition of ‘her ailments’, which I allow, as she is quite old and it’s expected anyway as part of our normal conversation. I find out which pills she is on and so on and host of other unnecessary information. Still, that’s family for you.
S: I suppose you are really pleased today?
ME: Why?
S: Well, Boris going and all that? (she knows she should not bring the subject up but cannot help herself).
ME: No, not at all. (she is perplexed as she only sees issues as being binary off / on, in / out, yes / no decisions). I wait a bit and then continue: As you know changing the figurehead does not change the underlying problem which remains, in other words Brexit.
S (looking for an escape route): Well, I could not vote for Keir Starmer.
ME: What exactly is it that means you cannot vote for him? Nor can I by the way.
S: (long pause) er, um, well I don’t know really but it’s just a feeling (she reads The Daily Maul). I note that she is beginning to question her statement and let it go.
S: (after my embarrassingly long pause): Well, Boris is funny isn’t he?
ME: Yes, he is …. (long awkward pause), but being funny is not the most important thing if you are running the country …
S: (fumbling) Well, he did COVID well didn’t he.
ME: Er, yes if you think that 170 000 unnecessary deaths is good (long pause). You do realise that there were other choices and that this course of action was not inevitable? (long pause). S: Did you know that I’m a great grandmother? We continue with small talk.
A friend wondered why I continue to bother and in some ways she is right. My sister represents a small group of people for whom little will change in terms of their beliefs about Brexit. They do however offer an excellent practice arena for the larger swathe of people who now doubt the wisdom of Brexit. We must work on this group now that they are starting to question the lies they were sold about Brexit. In a relatively short intervention I was able to raise significant doubt about the following matters:
Remainers are not all Boris haters or ‘lefty losers’.
Keir Starmer has some competences to lead. My sister is of the view that Starmer represents communism in her binary world.
Entertainment is not a core leadership skill. Other qualities matter more. Johnson was good at the Olympics and could have possibly had a career presenting ‘It’s a kockout’. However these skills are insufficient to run the country.
Killing people unnecessarily is not something to be proud of.
Herd immunity was not the only choice to address COVID (Brexiteers love the modal operator of necessity – see the books for more information on linguistics).
We simply cannot change the outlook on Brexit unless we work outside the bubble. Read the books today and arm yourself to have these difficult conversations. Every cloud …
Available to order direct from ebay – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com. Also on Amazon at a higher price.
Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com
We wish to fight the next election. Support our campaign via Patreon, Paypal or GoFundMe.
I thought it foolish of Andrew Adonis to coin the phrase “if Boris goes, Brexit goes”. Simply cutting the head off the Brexit hydra does not of itself mean that the monster is dead. In this article I explore what now for Brexit, based on some less hysterical projections. I accept that Boris Johnson has embodied Brexit as his project, much in the same way that Anita Roddick WAS The Body Shop and it was never the same without her. However The Body Shop did continue without Roddick and the Tory party has invested a great deal into Brexit. Whether we like it or not, the Tory party is the most successful party of all time and it will not walk away from its investment in Brexit lightly. The recent leadership debates are testament to the resilience of the Tory party, even under severe logical, legal and political challenges.
But there is hope. The inner civil war inside the Tory party which gave birth to Brexit is alive and kicking and very visible in the so-called leadership debates. A tsunami of lies from Truss, Morduant and Badenoch typified the debates, with others trying to hold the Conservative party together and one saying that a fresh start was needed. Sadly a fresh start is not possible with the same raw materials. Leopards and spots etc. The leadership contest will not solve the inherent instability of the Conservative party. A fresh start would include the removal of the right wing loony elements from the party. Tom Tugendhat and Rishi Sunak are both capable of that. We will see whether they are willing to do it in time. Rishi in particular bears the scars of knowing that Johnson nearly killed his career and we may see a change in his behaviour if elected compared with his role as part of the Exec. I predict a purge of the thickos from cabinet if he wins. With Truss in charge, I predict a full cabinet of thickos, so as not to undermine the TIC (Thicko in Chief).
Badenoch demonstrated dangerous levels of incompetence by saying that people were sick and tired of Brexit. I am one of those people who is sick and tired of Brexit. But I’m also intelligent enough to know that Brexit is a life changing process. Like it or loathe it we would do well to treat it with the importance it deserves. Pretending it does not exist is a recipe for disaster for future generations. She applied the same desperate logic to the question of climate change, claiming that people were more concerned with parochial issues than having a planet to live on. Kemi demonstrates a real poverty of time management skills by confusing things which are urgent with those that are urgent and important:
My left wing (I’m not a lefty looser as many Brexiteers would have it) friends tell me that we must have a general election. Sadly, my scientific and analytical side tells me that the Tories won’t choose to have one at this time due to the Johnson factor. Labour would have to find a way to force a GE. At this time Labour do not have answers on Brexit either, having colluded passively with the Tories to “get Brexit done”. The Tories will wait until they are likely to win an election or are forced to do so. It is yet another unicorn to suggest otherwise and they will use any excuse necessary to justify their position (WWIII, cost of living crisis, COVID, Brexit etc.).
We must still work on politicians, media and the great unwashed to change minds about Brexit and Europe. These books really help in that effort.
Private Eyelines – e-mail reboot@brexitrage.com or click the image buy discount copies direct from the author
Hooray!
A Knowing Rant barking in the pre-Woke tradition of British barbed political satire.This book takes no prisoners!
But, there’s certainly reasoned method within Peter Cook’s tome of madness.
Presented in quality full colour format, it is basically a reversed diary wittily detailing his Anti-Brexit Campaign over the past six years.
His photomontages stick the knife in exactly where deserved. While gloriously tasteless in the extreme, these visions of horror grasp the reader warmly by the throat. No longer should we allow ourselves to drift towards the inevitability of Brexit. We must address The Mess That It Undoubtedly IS!
But it is the text that really matters. Vast amounts of carefully uncovered and sifted information which our elders and betters of the upper echelons would wish the lower orders to ignore or better still, forget.
As such the book will find a home with Remainers who need to find smart ways of explaining difficult issues fully supported with depth.
Also by gifting it to Brexiteers who will love its straightforwardness and cheeky delivery style. I found it best to progress backwards from the end where Peter lays down his initial pitch.
All commentaries, justifications and future expectations are intelligently reasoned. Increasing backwards from Z to A he forever rams his points home. An excellent addition to Peter Cook’s other books spanning business, leadership and creativity.
By Wokery, ‘Tis a goodly read!
Michael Alexander PhD
“Whack it in a microwave, gas mark four. Prick the lid,”- said prime minister Boris Johnson about Brexit. This book of razor-sharp political satire does a lot of lid-pricking, demonstrating persistent problems with the microwave and a ready-meal of Brexit itself. Johnson’s ignorance of how a microwave works epitomises the sheer level of incompetence of his government regarding to complexities of the U.K.’s decades-long relationship with the EU.
This unique book can be read in two ways: from start to finish or from finish to start. You might be shocked, appalled or disgusted. You most definitely will have a laugh.
The companion book “Reboot Britain by changing minds about Brexit and Europe” offers a masterclass in the gentle art of what I call Brexorcism. Brexit has broken Britain, economically, socially, culturally, politically and environmentally. Quite simply, Brexit has not delivered what was promised on the tin in 2016, for anyone in our DisUnited Kingdom. This book explains how we may join anew for a better Britain in a better Europe for a better world and persuade others to do the same.
Strategies and scenarios to join anew 2021 – 2031.
Brexit freedoms, unicorns, ghosts and fantasy stories laid to rest.
The influence of Russia and Vladimir Putin on Brexit and the Johnson Junta.
The psychology of ‘Brexorcism’ and the anatomy of the Brexit psyche.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) applied to the task of softening hardened minds on Brexit.
How to hold difficult conversations with Leavers in regret and Remainers in remission.
How does Brexorcism differ in real life from online conversations and what can you do about it?
Strategies to put forward a positive vision of a united Europe and heal rifts from the ‘dialogue of the deaf’ over 6 years.
Stories to motivate you and show how these strategies work in practice. Alongside this we explore a number of ‘glorious failures’ as they offer even better insights to success.
A resource section on how to break ‘parliamentary paralysis’, how to make progress in advocacy to MPs and how to engage mainstream media (MSM).
How to multiply your impact and pro-Europe / anti-Brexit influence in real life conversations, lobbying and in mainstream and / or social media.
A Brexorcism requires time, patience, unconditional positive regard and skill. This book provides these elements, drawing on a range of approaches to change management from psychology, sociology and therapeutic approaches.
Order direct from the author at a discount via reboot@brexitrage.com or via Amazon:
If you have six women in your life, it pays to make a law that includes them all to avoid anger, in a specific and limited way. In this article we consider the “joy of six”.
The Pound sustained a six week low as news of Brexit shambles reached the markets.
Six Londoners were either totally depressed about Brexit or optimists in a specific and limited way, for example, if you are a trader who can make money out of other people’s misery as well as their success.
Sir Keir Starmer had six tests for Brexit in 2017. He appears to have forgotten them. We haven’t. He now says that Brexit is done. It is not. See Suspended Animation.
We have now had six rounds of trade talks with the EU. We have achieved nothing. In fact it’s worse than this. The high water mark of Brexit trade deals was Theresa May’s deal. Everyone agrees that, the deal has gradually been eroded since that time.
But Johnson gets to shag six women in a Boris Bubble, so that’s OK then?
Available to order direct from ebay – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com. Also on Amazon at a higher price.
Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com
This is a fantastic french letter from one of our Brexit satirists. Feel free to use or adapt it for your own purpose. Find your MPs e-mail at Write to Them.
Dear xxx,
I have a few questions for you:
1. Could you please tell me why Chris Pincher hasn’t resigned? Is it because the serial groper has been kept on by the PM because a by-election would almost certainly mean another catastrophic result for the Conservative Party?
2. When Boris Johnson was Foreign Secretary he was interrupted in his office getting a blow job by his mistress Carrie (now his wife). Is this in your view a sacking offence? Or should we just move on (again)?
3. The person who interrupted Carrie giving Boris a blow job in his office whilst supposedly at work is alleged to be Gavin Williamson – who some in the media and elsewhere are saying he is incompetent and was given a thoroughly undeserved knighthood to keep his silence. Can you shed any light on this please?
4. Has Jacob Rees-Mogg found any ‘Benefits of Brexit’ yet? I know he’s struggling, so you must be incandescent with rage?
As one of your constituents I am desperate to know where you stand on these issues, so an early reply would be appreciated.
Available to order direct from ebay – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com. Also on Amazon at a higher price.
Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com
In the wake of Lord Geidt’s letter to Boris Johnson and now his additional explanation, please write to your MP via Write to Them. The only way is ethics.
“Conscious of my own obligations under the Seven Principles of Public Life (including integrity), I could not be a party to advising on any potential law-breaking”. Lord Geidt
Here is a template letter you can adapt:
Dear Boris Johnson,
I am a scientist with 50 years’ experience in academia and industry and am well positioned to take on your recently vacant role of ethics advisor.
The company I worked for before retiring required all staff from the CEO to the most junior employees to sign up to a code of ethics and take an annual on-line ethics training course followed by an online test – which was reviewed by their managers.
The test covered such things as bullying, dishonesty with e.g. expense claims, taking gifts and other inducements from suppliers, racist behaviour and so on.
This policy was rigorously enforced by the management team, as was the ethics hotline which was a widely advertised toll-free telephone service for employees, run by an organization which was completely independent from the company, ensuring there was no bias or favouritism.
It would appear that your current set-up is lacking in many, if not all of these critical requirements, and hence I am sure I can help and advise you.
Available to order direct from ebay – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com. Also on Amazon at a higher price.
Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com
Private Eyelines : Have I Got Fake Brexit News for EU is just released. Humour is one of the few weapons this Government cannot take away from us. It’s a historical and hysterical record of #Brexit and one that holds this #fascist government to account in ways that spreadsheets and graphs do not. The book helps us deconstruct the fake news of populist media from “The Son” to “The Daily Maul” “Excess” and “Telegravda”. Grab copies for yourself and your Brexity friends now on Amazon or order discount copies direct from the author by e-mailing us at reboot@academy-of-rock.co.uk Here is the book blurb below:
Satire reaches the parts that spreadsheets, graphs and logic do not. Brexit provides a rich dark seam of tragicomedy in a Kafkaesque world of gaslighting, shapeshifting and shameless lies. We live in desperately sad times. But simply drowning in the sadness of Brexit does not help us deal with paranoid populist politicians. Bittersweet levity cuts through people’s minds to their visceral core. Simply stated, satire heals.
Populist media brainwashed leave voters to believe in Brexit unicorns. I tried my hand at parodying these media to expose the lies on which the Brexit hydra reared its many ugly heads. I found that people rather liked my gutterpress pages. Some even believed that they were real!
To change minds on Brexit, it is not sufficient to break the parliamentary paralysis which continues to enable the slow-motion destruction of Britain. Nor is demographic change, aka death, a success recipe. We must actively work on the huddled masses. People almost literally eat lies for breakfast from a biased populist media, owned by people who seem just a little bit too friendly with Vladimir Putin. Private Eyelines opens up the conversation anew with Brexiteers with buyers’ remorse, or Remainers numbed into submission by six years of bullshit and bullying from our so-called political leaders.
Peter Cook is a unique combination of scientist, business consultant and musician. As a 60’s child, his mum made him watch Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, saying “it would be good for him”. It wasn’t! Instead, Peter built a solid career bringing life-saving treatments for diabetes and HIV / AIDS to the world, 18 years tutoring MBAs in academia, writing books and 28 years running a business. His early exposure to Cook and Moore suddenly came to the fore after 24 June 2016, as satire met real life through Brexit. His mis-spent youth and creativity have been rejuvenated through campaigning, writing, music, film making and speaking about our rightful place in Europe. It was good for him after all. Mum was right!
Available to order direct from Amazon – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author.
Turn despair into action. Join us every Monday at 8pm on ZOOM via Reboot Britain.
