Friday 26 February marks the date for the release of a three track mini album entitled “Dying for Boris”. We aim to chart the song for the following week, to reach populist media with the story about the toxic combination of Corona + Brexit, Russian interference and a host of other issues. To do this, we and need multiple downloads of all three song versions of Dying for Boris, in the same way that we succeeded in getting “Comin over ere” and “Boris Johnson’s a fu…king c..nt” to number one at Christmas. Please download all three versions of the song on all platforms. All downloads count towards chart success. Here are all the options to buy the song:
All formats available via the link https://orcd.co/xdw6erx – click the image to go direct
Vladimir Putin is delighted, having gotten his way with Brexit. With Britain now a third country, he can advance his plans take back control of Eastern Europe with his pal Nigel Farage. A fanciful idea or a warning from history? Dying for Boris is based upon the Russian anthem Варшавянка, originally titled “March Song of the Workers”, but known more widely as “Whirlwinds of Danger”. Boris is the whirlwind, having committed more than 30 000 people to unnecessary death with his “too little, too late” COVID strategy.
Having nearly cracked the UK charts with our football / WWII pastiche “Alo Vera – Brexit’s Comin’ ‘Ome”, Rage Against The Brexit Machine (RATBM) now takes aim on the Russian oligarchs, Johnson, Cummings, Sunak and Gove, lining up for a Top 40 hit from Friday February 26th.
“брексит even sounds Russian doesn’t it?”
Peter Cook, Brexorcist in Chief, RATBM
“Dying for Boris” is the follow up to “The Brexit Party Album” – the party album to end all tomorrow’s parties. Just like the BOJONA-21 virus the song has three ‘variants’, all of which count towards chart success:
1. The Kremlin “Putinescu” mix
2. The Deep Purple “Mistreated” 30 000 unnecessary deaths mix
3. The “Populism will eat itself” mix
“Don’t die for Boris. Ask him to dye his hair and cancel Brexit”
Just say no to the slow motion “Britastrophe” of Corona Crisis + Brexit disaster
Here is a sample of the song on You Tube. Please note that watching the video does NOT count towards chart success. Downloads and Streams are needed – 150 streams per download.
For an exclusive interview on “Dying for Boris”, contact Peter Cook peter@academy-of-rock.co.uk
Health Secretary Hancock protests indignantly about the High Court judgement against him in three cases where PPE contracts were granted during the pandemic without competition and announcement delayed until long after the time period required under the regulations. His excuse based on urgency created by the pandemic seems plausible enough . However he might do better to tread more carefully in what may well prove to be a minefield, in the interests of his own future credibility. The purpose behind the regulations is transparency, in particular to ensure there is no suspicion of bias in the awarding of public contracts. This suspicion is aroused in at least one of the three cases concerned where a contract worth £252m was awarded to a tiny company founded by an associate of a Minister.
Your last gasp?
There are other such cases before the courts, including one where the beneficiary company was owned by friends of Michael Grove and Dominic Cummings, who was responsible for awarding the contract. If, as seems possible, findings against the government in this and other cases reveal the awarding of contracts at excessive prices, to firms unfitted to fulfil their commitments and resulting in huge waste of public money , the full extent of ‘chumocracy’, verging on corruption, within the Cabinet Office during the first wave of the pandemic will come to light.
In fact, there are grounds for suspicion that the Cabinet office, far from being desperately overworked in trying to find suppliers of PPE and other essential equipment at that time, may actually have obstructed some offers of supply. Could it be that they were seeking to avoid granting contracts to suppliers outside their own circle, preferring to wait until a favoured producer turned up? If that were so, the Cabinet Office is guilty of actually impeding the NHS in its war against the pandemic.
60 days of Brexit and the massive success stories of Brexit keep coming in. Here’s a roundup of recent news and fake news by The Express, Mail and Sun.
Brexit realities
Millions face economic shock from COVID. Brexit simply multiples the problem into the long term. See New Economics.
Meanwhile, Kent Police are involved in Operation Mask Brexit, drawing in thousands of Police officers from 33 forces to cover up the effects of Brexit on borders, ports and roads.
Steve Cock, who runs a customs consultancy, regularly sees lorry drivers forced to stay in his firm’s car park at Ashford for several nights because they do not have the right paperwork to get into Europe. Such confusion is echoed by the Road Haulage Association (RHA), which says that 50-60 per cent of freight vehicles are leaving the UK empty. A haulage source was blunt: “We have become the world leader in exporting fresh air.”
There’s still time to make your mark on Boris Johnson’s awful Junta. Please follow the links below and help us chart Dying for Boris this week.
Daphne Franks writes in The Craven Herald about the realities of clapping for carers versus the hard realities of paying key workers properly. If you care about carers vote the Tories out on May 6th in the local elections.
“We need our nurses. They care for us. We need to care for them”.
A stitch in time saves nine
Join us to find out how you can move the dial on local elections every Tuesday at 7 pm via ZOOM
Masking Brexit 1984 style
The media are now running ads to tell people how well Brexit is going. The ads are not paid for by Russian oligarchs or our enemies, but by OUR Government !!
+UPDATE+
U.K. govt paying British newspapers & media outlets large sums of money to run pro Govt fake news items telling the population what a success Brexit has been.
Don’t die for Boris – download the song and take back control of our media – click on the image to find all options to bugger Brexit
A number of people are suggesting myself and others in the shellfish industry have been lazy, stupid (or both) for not being ‘prepared’ for the carnage Brexit has caused on the shellfish export industry. If we predicted this, why weren’t we ready? 1/9
You know we have reached rock bottom when businesses ask Michael Gove for help with Brexit. The Gove – Johnson marriage of convenience is clearly under strain now that Johnson has put unelected mediocre bureaucrat “Sir” David Frost into the cabinet to fight Gove.
Distraction and gaslighting
Andrew Bridgen wants us to drink “Peckham Spring Water” and not that “smelly Euro water”. Satire made real in his letter to the House of Commons to distract us from Brexit realities.
Peckham Spring
Get your copy of our book on Brexorcism – click on the extract
With thanks to Irina Fridman, Mike Cashman, Peter Daws, Helga Perry, Lisa Lanfranchi, Daphne Franks, Adrian Ekins-Daukes, Heike Wilms, Louise Hunter, Martin Housden, Carol Fraser, Paul Bowers and Susanna Leislle.
During the 2019 general election campaign, the Conservatives rebranded their official Twitter account as “factcheckUK” during the televised leaders’ debate and used it to publish anti-Labour posts. The inconspicuous Twitter handle remained as @CCHQPress, but all other branding was changed to look like an independent factchecking outlet. It was not obvious to an individual glancing at the account’s tweets in their feed that it came from Conservative party HQ. The public have increasingly turned to factchecking websites, such as the independent Full Fact, the BBC’s Reality Check, Channel 4 News’ FactCheck and the Guardian’s Factcheck, to verify claims made by politicians. Changing the site’s logo to hide its political origins, and using it to push pro-Tory material was a thus flagrant attempt to deceive voters. This was not the only case of malpractice by the Tory digital team. Other examples included a bogus website presented as Labour’s manifesto, and an interview with Keir Starmer, then Labour’s Brexit spokesperson, edited to make it appear he was unable to answer questions about the party’s policy on leaving the EU.
Topham and Guerin
The PR unit behind these deceitful stunts was Topham Guerin, a New Zealand digital team signed up by Isaac Levido, the Tory campaign leader. They were not in the least abashed by the criticism of their tactics, declaring that that the success in spreading the Tory message was well worth the controversy it aroused. After the election, Levido, was ennobled and in March 2020 Topham Guerin received a £3m Covid 19 contract from the Cabinet Office, without competitive tender, to work on the government’s public communications on the pandemic. According to PR Week’s site, they still play a key role in managing No10’s social media and digital output.
With the local elections coming:
Don’t believe anything Boris Johnson says
Don’t believe his Ministers
Don’t believe anyone speaking for the Conservative Party
It’s all been masterminded by experts in spin and deceit. And it’s all specially designed to fool YOU.
So, remain particularly alert for Tory fake news at this time !
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In our occasional round up of April Brexit Showers via the medium of populist media parody, we offer you “The Sun”. The only difference with The Sun is that we include some facts …
I have to include a fact and fiction checker just for clarity:
FICTION : When Liz Truss said she got a great trade deal with Japan, she meant “for Japan”. A really good deal in fact, with five times the amount of trade going to Japan.
FACT : Dairy exports have fallen by 96% due to Brexit.
FACT : Meat exports have also fallen by 25% and these losses are expected to be permanent.
FICTION : Rachelle does not plan a trip to Scotland or Ireland. Nicola Sturgeon does not need her help to Get the Tories out in Scotland. Rachelle is however available for modelling assignments in France.
FACT : Northern Ireland is beginning to become the great tragedy of Brexit as tensions continue. This is not news. It was always predicted to be the case.
FACT : If you want to help get the Tories out at the local elections, contact me for leaflets via email gtto@academy-of-rock.co.uk. We have 12 000 left for rapid distribution.
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In our occasional series of Brexit satire we offer you Railway Modeller and The Northern Farmer. Plus a fact checker to help you tell Brexit facts from fiction.
FACT and FICTION checker
FICTION : AC DC’s Angus Young does not have a signature hormone fed steak pie. He has a signature Gibson SG.
FACT : Australian beef is hormone injected. It can be selectively fed to children and vulnerable people as UK Government rules allow for cheap food to be dumped on schools, the NHS and care homes. Our EU membership protected us from dodgy food standards but we opted for a blue passport.
FACT : Liz Truss has NOT struck a great trade deal with Japan. Japan benefits five times more than we do. Our desperation to get Brexit done makes us an easy target for “fire sale” type trade deals. Truss wants to claim success by striking a deal with Australia. We will pay for this dearly. Free trade in 15 years time will decimate the economies of Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and parts of England.
FICTION : Boris Johnson is not a train enthusiast. Allegedly he paints cardboard buses.
FACT : The rebrand of Great British Railways is an expensive distraction. See Grant Schapps’ ludicrous flag shagging video filmed with emotional music at the National Railway Museum in York, shortly to be renamed the Great British Brexit Museum.
“The beginning of a new railway era, that Britain can be proud of.”🚆
Transport Secretary @grantshapps has announced the #PlanForRail, to reform Britain’s railways and put passengers first.
— Department for Transport (@transportgovuk) May 20, 2021
FICTION : Mallard is not being put back into service, nor The Rocket to power HS2.
FACT : The Australian trade deal will spell a sharp decline in farming in Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland.
FICTION : Ringo Starr is not stuck in the tunnel from Scotland to Northern Ireland. The tunnel is a work of fiction rather like Brexit.
FICTION : Jennifer Arcuri is not a farmer. She is about to release a TV drama in which she describes her sex life with Johnson : “We read sonnets to each other, then he rolled onto me like a binbag full of custard, gasping like an asthmatic octogenerian, as he reached his climax & I wondered if he’d got it in yet”.
No, we don't believe anything you say.
What we want to know is more from Jennifer Arcuri and others who have had personal experience of you. pic.twitter.com/4damu1I1JH
— Gordon Pearson 🇪🇺 #FBPE #FBPPR #FBPA #JohnsonOut (@gcpearson69) May 17, 2021
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In our occasional series of Brexit impact roundups, I’d like to be able to tell you that Brexit is going well. However, I cannot tell a lie, unlike Boris Johnson and the Cabinet. Here are just some of the recent impacts that are either partly or wholly attributable to Brexit via the Five F’s of Brexodus
Fish Fighters
Despite the promises made by Boris Johnson’s Government, fishing continues to be a disaster area wholly attributable to Brexodus. Livelihoods continue to be lost and the vague promises to compensate fisherman will not deal with the loss of their way of life. In Jersey, the problems continue, compounded by the fact that Jersey did not have a voice in the 2016 referendum. Furthermore, Norway is threatening not to make a post-Brexit trade deal with Britain, with fishing being a major issue in the North Atlantic, the source of our fish and chips. Turns out that Brexodus means we’ve had our chips!
Finance fleeing
Another predictable impact of Brexit was the movement of the centre of gravity in Financial Services away from London to Ireland and mainland Europe. It was reported that UK plc lost £2.3 TRILLION in derivatives trading in just ONE MONTH recently. Now it seems that many firms are relocating away from London in the wake of Brexit. The trickle down effects for service businesses in London will of course follow.
Farmers brooding
Liz Truss continues to tell lies about British farming in her bid to secure a fire sale deal with Australia that will see Britain accepting hormone fed beef. We were told this would never happen, but lying is a hardy perennial in Brexit negotiations. Even arch Brexiteer Nick Ferrari squewered Truss on LBC. Farmers will lose their livelihoods for the sake of a blue passport and our Brexodus.
Fina FAIL
Northern Ireland continues to show signs of violent uprisings. This is an entirely predictable and unacceptable outfall of Brexit.
Fcuk trading
The Office for National Statistics reported that the combined impact of Corona and Brexit shows that trade with EU countries has declined 23.1%. The report points out that Brexit problems far outweighed Corona issues in the first quarter of 2021. As stated last year Corona crisis + Brexit disaster = Britastrophe. To read more on this go to Brexit Carnage.
Meanwhile today, Dominic Cummings provides evidence to the select committee. It becomes clear that COVID was used as a cover for Brexit. It also becomes clear that there was insufficient bandwidth in Government and the Civil Service to cope with the Corona Crisis + Brexit Disaster. It’s a simple time management problem. Please retweet and build on the thread to Mr Cummins.
I look forward to the question :
On reflection, do you consider that the combination of COVID and Brexit overloaded the bandwidth of Government and the Civil Service?
— Re-Boot Britain – Rage Against The Brexit Machine (@BrexitRage) May 26, 2021
Download the album Britastrophe by clicking the image
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Yesterday’s “Domshell” revelations from Cummings are out there for all to see. However, Cummings managed to sidestep one vital issue. The extent to which the Government’s decisions on COVID were themselves informed by the obsessive need to “Get Brexit Done”. Here we report on the Cummings and Goings after a brief interlude from a spoof edition of “FHM Magazine” which illustrates the type of gaslighting we will be expecting in the cummings days:
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Cummings could hardly admit that his pet project of Brexit was in any way a cause of the indecision, cronyism, delay and lies put forward to fool the public about our world beating deaths under COVID and the losses of lives and livelihoods due to stop start lockdowns and failure to use circuit breakers under the advice of scientists. However, it is plain to see that Johnson used COVID as a mask to “Get Brexit Done” last Christmas, when no-one seemed to care about anything else other than turkeys and an end to the COVID crisis. Johnson was able to railroad his own MPs and the opposition into signing a deal with zero scrutiny. We are only just beginning to see the outfall of Johnson’s decisions on Brexit, see Brexodus and to misquote a well-worn phrase “the worst is yet to come”
Brexit + COVID overload
At the most basic level, our problems with COVID deaths and emerging Brexit problems are a resourcing and time management issue in Government and The Civil Service in spite of best efforts on the part of most people. No other civilised country in the world has tried to deal with a pandemic PLUS a constitutional coup at the same time. Stretched resources meant that decisions were either not taken or delayed. Bad decisions cost lives in a pandemic, at least 150 000 unnecessary COVID-related deaths. The decisions made by Johnson’s Cabinet were masked by lies, which also grew on an exponential scale alongside pandemic deaths.
Hancock’s half hour
Although Matt Hancock has been served up to face the public, he is not the root cause of the problems with COVID deaths. They go back to the irresponsible decision to Get Brexit Done alongside the pandemic and the people who pushed for this are strangely silent. Lest we forget their names:
We warned of the problems from dither and delay over a year ago in March 2020. Cummings revelations are welcome. If he is now to clear his record, he must go further and admit that the toxic combination of Corona crisis + Brexit disaster has delivered a Britastrophe. I am not forgiving Cummings yet, but his candour is welcome and I believe his testimony. To quote some well worn phrases:
I agree with Dom
Let’s talk about BREX .. it
Decision making is a function of effective leadership
The wonderful work of Cold War Steve with an insertion of my Britastrophe banner. Find Steve’s work by clicking the image.
Five years on and Brexit’s still undone. I often get quaint looks when I talk about Brexit in Kent now and some subtle or even less subtle social disapproval. For the record, I’m quite happy to be considered to be “so last year” until I am returned to the soil by my maker, or Brexit is placed in a shallow grave, whichever comes soonest. Brexit is in fact undone now that Johnson has realised he never read the contract. It will never be “done”. I told everyone that we’d be doing Brexit for the next 50 years and it begins to look that way. In five years it becomes apparent that we still don’t know what Brexit means but we are beginning to make some evaluation of what Brexit has brought us.
Economiceffects
£2.3 Trillion was lost in just one month from the city of London. Just for comparison and scale, that’s 58 years’ worth of our contribution of £39 billion to the EU wiped out in just one month. So, we would have to make up our losses due to Brexit until 2079 just from this impact alone. Let that sink in!!
Our Australia trade deal is worth 0.02% of GDP over 15 years. It would take 2000 deals like this to even make up our losses from our arrangements with the EU. At a generous estimate of our rate of deal making, we can expect to make up the losses from Brexit in trade deals by the year 3021. I know that’s bad economics as not all trade deals are worthless and some also take years not months but I think you should get the point.
£37 billion has wasted on test and trace. That’s more than what it takes to land a space mission on Mars at a mere £22.5 billion. Our contribution to the EU is £39 billion per year.
Despite promises made to fishermen on Brexit, the UK fishing industry will have been filleted by the time any new arrangements come into being with £1 Million being bled from the fisherman every DAY. Yet, we plan to spend £200 million on a Royal Yacht that the Royal family do not want or need. Brexit McBrexitFace will no doubt spend its time trawling international waters trying to net trade deals without catching anything more than scurvy.
Brexit shrank UK services exports by more than £110 billion over a four-year period. That’s 3 x our yearly contribution to the EU, much of which we get back.
Farmers have also been sold down the river with the introduction of hormone fed beef and the dumping of poor quality products into UK markets, just so that Liz Truss can claim success.
The building industry is beginning to show cracks with materials shortages and other supply chains being affected.
Food and drink exports from UK have declined by 50% since the beginning of 2021.
Coming soon, having lost EU steel import protections, our steel industry now faces a wave of cheap imports.
Hired goons distract people from Brexit shambles. Help us Re-Boot Britain by clicking the image.
Social / Welfare / Environmental
Brexit has been all consuming on Civil Service bandwidth and this means that there have been numerous areas of neglect. For example: social care, Grenfell, The Northern Ireland protocol and citizenship issues remain undone with massive consequences for lives and livelihoods. 305 000 people are caught in civil service backlogs for settled status and Johnson says he will not budge on the deadline of June 30th with impact on breaking up families and imprisonment at borders. Big issues in 2016 are still issues in 2021 due to the significant entropy of Brexit on progress across the board of Government.
“You can stay but your kids can’t”.
We are yet to see the whole impact of the end of the grace period at the borders but already all major supermarkets have imposed rationing on tinned tomatoes with food shortages predicted in the coming months and the army on standby.
And, of course, far from taking back control of £350 million per week for the NHS, Dido Harding is on the way to privatising your NHS. Was this on the side of a bus?
We did not need to do Brexit to deal with immigration. Our hostile environment has discouraged Europeans to work here. In particular we have seen a sharp decline in fruit pickers, care workers and other professions. The arguments made by Brexiteers to “grow our own” have not gathered any takers …
Instead of planting veg this year I have taken the Brexiteers advice to "grow our own". I have planted 3 doctors, 10 nurses, 5 scientists and 20 farmers in the ground. I now await the results #Brexiteers#BrexitReality#NHS#farming#ScienceResearch
— Re-Boot Britain – Rage Against The Brexit Machine (@BrexitRage) June 21, 2021
Political / Constitutional
The destruction of peace in Northern Ireland has already begun by the reckless abandonment of the Good Friday Agreement. Johnson promised there would be no border down the Irish Sea. He broke that promise, ending 30 years of peace on the island of Ireland. Kate Hoey has been cynically and dangerously stoking the fires of unrest in Northern Ireland, having promoted Brexit.
The destruction of the United Kingdom has begun with Scotland seeking independence, reunification of Ireland and independence movements beginning in Cornwall and the North East. Independence for Scotland and unity for Ireland are of course good things and entirely predictable consequences of Brexit. In extremis, England will be reduced to the People’s Republic of Thurrock by 2040!! Gibraltar has special status as a means of dealing with the fact that the majority of residents work in Spain. In 10-20 years time we can expect Gibraltar to be under Spanish control. The same goes for The Falkland Islands, The Channel Islands and The Isle of Man.
The UK is now a four nation state and a one party state with no effective opposition. It may sound hard to say this but Brexit is as much a product of a passive and fearful opposition than it is the result of a hard core of Brexit ultras and psychopaths.
Britain no longer has a special relationship with the USA as President Biden seeks to re-educate us about the realities of breaking international law. At the same time Biden has forged stronger links with Europe as a natural partner of similar size in terms of trade and other opportunities.
I invite Brexiteers to provide a list of benefits of Brexit – Five years waiting
Ethical / Legal
Protest is now being clamped down on, using COVID as an umbrella to hide under. Boris Johnson is to remove the powers of the Electoral Commission after they asked awkward questions about the redecoration of his flat.
Crony contracting continues as The Good Law Project reveals details of companies offered lucrative contracts based on personal networks rather than competence in the chosen industry. If you are to shrug and say “so what” to this, these contracts were for PPE. This means that people will have died unnecessarily because of faulty selection procedures. You may well say that the pandemic demanded a speedy response. Well the speediest response would have been to select companies with the capacity and competence to make the products rather than novices.
My own MP Mr Rehman Chishti is under investigation for having his hand in the till over property development scandals. You can help by reporting him to the bar council.
— Re-Boot Britain – Rage Against The Brexit Machine (@BrexitRage) June 21, 2021
We have still not found the identity of the Tory rapist. Is this an example for our children to look up to?
It now seems that our children are to sing a Soviet styles song in school to unite the country. I have a better suggestion – see the song below
Ignorance is strength – Post Brexit education syllabus
I could go on but I won’t. All this in just five years … and we’ve only just begun …
A collaborative effort to mark five years of Brexit carnage from Greg, Lisa, Patricia, Irina, Andrew, Adrian, Mike, Helga and the good people at Re-Boot Britain. Join us every Monday to Break Brexit Before Brexit Breaks Britain.
Please support our work – click on the boot to Re-Boot Britain
There is a job going for Director, Brexit opportunities in the Cabinet Office – I was excited by the prospect of finding out what these were after five years of waiting patiently so I have applied. My application is below. I’d urge you to do the same. Here is the specification:
Dear Lord Sir David Frost,
I have been an avid follower of your work ever since The Frost Report and I was excited to see your research post for a Director of the BOU (Brexit Opportunities Unit). You need look no further, as you have found your man. To quote ELO, ‘I’ve been searchin’ for five years on my own account, meticulously comparing what we had in the EU with what we are getting, now that Brexit is out of the oven. I’d like to continue that research in the quest for the economic, social, technological, ethical, environmental and constitutional benefits of Brexit. As far as your job specification goes, I meet and exceed your requirements, in brief:
I am a skilled researcher, covering qualitative and quantitative methods, survey design and communications. With 3.5 degrees covering science, business and HR, I am quite used to dealing with the distortion of data by politicians, so I’d be more than able to extract the Brexit benefits from the background noise, if they exist. Broadly speaking, I am happy to continue with your line of “if the facts don’t fit the story, change the facts or just erase them”.
I am used to dealing with intelligent senior people across industry, politics, media and in public life. I am quite sure I could “level down” to work with imbeciles, sycophants and psychopaths as required by the role. I met the Prime Minister in 2012 shortly after the Olympics when he was dating a young woman so we have actually met.
In terms of change management, I have written 12 books on leadership and one on the question of changing minds on Brexit. Admittedly, the strategies in “Let’s Talk About BREX .. it” are directed towards the removal of illusions and fantasies about Brexit, what I call “Brexorcism”. However, these change management strategies are just as applicable to the erasure of people’s minds who voted to Remain, although it may be a lot quicker to round these people up and send them to a BCC (Brexit Concentration Camp) – in fact, I will make a proposal on this separate matter to Priti Patel shortly. I am prepared to work on this for 50 years as suggested by Jacob Rees-Mogg.
Change minds on Brexit
In terms of commanding confidence, I am a skilled practitioner of speaking truth to power. I see that lying is a precondition for doing the job and I would cope with this by using a placard saying “fake news” whenever I give a public brief to the media for greater clarity. In any case, in the post-Brexit world, the truth is an expensive luxury. I see that you, Johnson, Patel, Hancock, Raab, Duncan Smith, Francois et al. have managed to get by without needing to get dragged down by the truth. Bravo!!
As regards changing laws, I have no respect for the law, having been let down by the Police on several occasions when being attacked by Brexiteers. This means that I regard the law as unimportant in the quest to get Brexit done. Judges and the judiciary are one of the areas we must target to remove the scales of justice from people’s eyes.
I was considered to be too organised to get a job for Dominic Cummings. This demonstrates my ability to stick at something that has been a proven failure over the long term.
Dealing with the Russians at Parliament – Photograph by Bruce Tanner http://www.brucetanner.com
Crucially I have no political experience at all, a massive asset in a political world befuddled by political experts. Who needs experts (Gove, Govia). But I am good at coming up with meaningless phrases to describe the toxic cocktail of Corona crisis + Brexit disaster aka “Britastrophe“.
In the words of The Clash “I hate the army and I hate the R.A.F. I don’t wanna go fighting in the tropical heat. I hate the civil service rules. I won’t open a letter bomb for you.”
Put plainly, if Dido Harding can run the NHS, I can run the fucking Cabinet Office, FFS.
In summary, 27 years diverse experience as a business consultant, author, speaker and academic, working with companies such as Unilever, Pfizer, The UN, Virgin, BP. Find me at Linkedin.
On the suggestion of Julia Smith, may I ask for these other fringe benefits:
Free flags for my home, car etc.
Private health insurance delivered by the NHS
Cocaine discounts
Free use of the Royal Yacht Brexit McBrexitFace at weekends
Exclusive access to PPE contracts for which I am quite unsuitable @ £107 million per item
I require a minimum of two cats in the office at anyone time and a supply of fresh food for the kitties
A job for my son in strategic management
A gravy train and two year’s supply of Bisto
Yours in waiting
Peter
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