The “B*llocks to Brexit” Mini Cooper known as “Johnson” is making an unprecedented historic trip to Durham under strict COVID-safe conditions, so that the driver can get his eyesight checked by taking an excursion to Barnard Castle for his wife’s birthday and stopping at a few beauty spots. The trip, inspired by Dominic Cummings, has been arranged by EU Flag Mafia in conjunction with Rage Against The Brexit Machine, to highlight the problems of adding Corona crisis to Brexit disaster, creating a “Britastrophe”.
11% loss in GDP from Corona, when added to 9% predicted loss from Brexit will make an exponential impact on jobs, lives and livelihoods of people in Britain. Johnson the Mini will make the journey in order to wake people up to the oncoming economic and social tsunami. We only needed 3.5% GDP loss to create the 2008 crash. Corona is a natural born crisis and we must endure it. However, we don’t need to add the man-made Brexit disaster to the mix.
“Johnson’s driver” Peter Cook is taking a four-year-old baby “Bobo” on this historic journey. Bobo has promised not to urinate for the entire trip, although the Mini will be making stops in Rugby, Manchester, North Yorkshire and Newcastle, also taking in Southampton, Dorset, Wiltshire and Kent in the coming weeks. For Baby Bobo, it is a UST (Urination Stamina Test).
“Rules are rules and we must stick to them for everyone’s safety, even if Johnson, Cummings, Farage, Jenrick, Half Cock Handcock and Papa Bojo choose not to”
The last time “Johnson” made an appearance on Britain’s roads, we were stopped by an Essex Traffic Policeman Smith, in a rage on the M25 motorway. PC Smith asked us to remove the signage on the car on the hard shoulder of the M25, putting the police officer and the passengers at risk of death. We are hoping to return to Essex to meet PC Smith for a cuppa. Smith has not been located by Essex Police some 8 months after we provided his full details to the force …
EU Flag Mafia are hoping that “Dick and Dom” aka Boris and Dominic will hear our call that this is the worst time to take Brexit out of the microwave. If they checked their eyesight, they would now realise that there is a substantial gap in the will of the people, with nearly a ten-point gap of people now wishing to remain a member of the EU. All that is needed is courage and political will to change the oncoming “Britastrophe”.
“We must re-boot Britain in the wake of Corona. It’s time for our leaders to show true courage and take a bold move to build, build, build a Better Britain in a Better Europe for a Better World. To this end I have formed an unpolitical party to end all political parties. It’s time we had leaders that we could look up to and trust. Our movement is designed to help achieve that. I’m proud to work with EU Flag mafia to help put the great back in Britain.
Peter Cook
p.s. We have just received a request to take “Johnson” to Greece to check our eyesight, via Bulgaria. We are just checking the logistics of the trip, although all seems well, since Stanley Johnson recently made a similar pilgrimage to check on a holiday let.
For an exclusive interview on our “Unprecedented Ocular Pilgrimage” around the UK, please contact Peter Cook, Brexorcist in Chief on 07725 927585 peter@academy-of-rock.co.uk
So we went to Barnard Castle from Durham to get our eyesight checked. Sadly we forgot that the four year old child in our care was locked in the car whilst we performed and “Baby Dom” expired, due to our not leaving the windows open. I guess Cummings and Boris Johnson would see that as part of herd immunity …
We also had a piece in the Yorkshire Post – the most trusted newspaper in Britian see Henry Moore Art Institute
We also seek writers to contribute to this platform, both in terms of scholarly articles and Op Ed pieces as well as more populist / short pithy pieces to reach outside the bubble. Please e-mail us your details at peter@academy-of-rock.co.uk
There is a widespread view that we must pay more in National Insurance to cover shortfalls in social care and healthcare. All of this has been hung on the hook of COVID, as if it anaesthetises the arguments or any debate. I would like to question the notion that we must raise NI to raise £13 billion as there are many more routes to raise the required capital. In fact it would be easy for this Government to raise the capital without using the crude instrument of NI, which selectively targets those least able to pay the tax, whilst protecting old age pensioners, many of whom vote Tory. But fear not OAPs. Rishi is not paying for social care. Rather, he will be coming for your triple lock soon …
Robert Dyer coined the phrase “The Brexit Bounce”. Remember we were getting £350 million back from the EU EVERY WEEK. Do the math. That’s £18.2 BILLION every year into perpetuity. So, in one fell swoop, we can pay for social care with the Brexit Bounce, except the £350 million has not materialised.
Dido Harding spent £37 BILLION on Test and Trace, much of which was either non-existent or faulty. Let’s be generous and suppose that only 20% of the project was fictional or faulty. That’s a cool £7.4 BILLION towards the social care uplift. Then there is the PPE fraud …
Liz Truss took a lonely trip to Australia in the Government A321 Airbus at a cost of £500 000. Small beer I hear you say. But these trophy flights could help pay for the NI hike !! What’s wrong with Ryanair? Or BA if you wanted to be truly patriotic at a cost of around £4000 to Oz.
Rishi Sunak seems to have cancelled £4.3 BILLION of fraudulent COVID loans. That would be a nice contribution to the social care fund? Closing tax loopholes would make enough funds to fund good quality services not just care and allow for less taxation on those that can least afford it. With thanks to Gail Jones.
Then there are the small ticket items but yet every little helps as they say at Tesco. The No 10 wallpaper bill (£840 per roll), Priti Patel’s Eyelashes, Suitcases of wine, the Royal Yachts at a snip of £250 Million. Everything adds up.
What other spaffing options exist? Write to me in the comments and I will add your point with a credit to your input.
Brexit has cost £128 billion so far, or £727 per second. Although it would not be straightforward, stopping Brexit would give us access to all the social car,e by stopping Britain bleeding to death. Here’s a helpful chart to show what you can buy with £128 257 825 862 in case you have never thought of “how to spend it”.
Join us on Monday 07 March to Re-Boot Britain on ZOOM via RE-BOOT BRITAIN. Please RSVP.
My sister is some 20 years my senior at 80 years old. Living in Tonbridge, I have to say somewhat unkindly that she is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. But she is a faithful Daily Mail reader and does the best she can to absorb current affairs through the lens of the Brexit Gutterpress. She has over the years come out with some startling revelations about Brexit. For example, she voted for Brexit because she believed that two million German / Turkish rapists were to come to Tonbridge. She did not want the imposition of Sharia law on the high street. Needless to say she is a fairly hard case for Brexorcism. Bearing in mind this background and her general intelligence levels, I set myself the task of explaining how Brexit was instrumental in destabilising Europe and how Putin’s invasion of Ukraine is part of a long range strategy by Russia to undermine the most successful peace project in the world. She laughed at me, as did a lot of Brexit Voters at the time, when we said that Brexit might precipitate World War III. Here we are on the precipice of Brexit and WW III. I’ll begin very simply with a Twitter thread which has seen 50 000 views at the time of writing.
Taking it one step at a time for my sister, Boris Johnson and anyone else hard of hearing and understanding:
It is a FACT that Russian money was used to pervert the Brexit vote. Had it been anything but advisory, it would have been declared NULL and VOID.
Aaron Banks donated £8 million to bankroll the vote leave campaign. This is an unprecedented amount.
In case you forgot, read up on Cambridge Analytica, Carole Cadwalladr’s work and The Russia Report.
It is a FACT that there are significant ties between the hard right (and quite possibly the hard left) via The Brexit Party, Aaron Banks, the ERG and the Conservative party with Russian money.
Putin got his way when Brexit was voted for. This was an important moment in his ideological battle to leaven unity in Europe.
He has also been injecting support into some eastern European states to destabilise the situation.
It also serves Putin’s agenda to distract his citizens from the COVID crisis in Russia.
With the bond between Britain and the EU weakened he is now able to enact the next stage of his strategy.
Boris Johnson has been unable to act on the problem, due to the need to pander to his ERG and Russian masters. Even Tom Tugendhat commented that we failed to step up to the plate in 2021 by placing hardware in the Black Sea. Our obsession with getting Brexit done, the need to obey Tory Russian masters and a low appetite to work with Europe after Brexit are plausible explanations of our reticence on the matter.
The EU, US and the rest of the world see the posturing of Boris Johnson and Liz Truss as utterly pathetic. Putin knows this and has actively facilitated this.
Ukraine is in the process of joining the EU. Perhaps this helps to explain some context.
Alexander Vladimirovich Yakovenko, British Ambassador for Russia reported of Britain “It will be a long time before they rise again.”
Here are some bigger thoughts from Gary Kasparov. Read the whole tweet to prepare for our meeting:
Brexiteers said Brexit and WW III couldn’t happen. Well it is beginning. Edwin Star was also wrong. War is one of the most effective pieces of distraction from peace !!
Professor Joshua Silver and Peter Cook don’t just want to see Boris Johnson step down as Prime Minister. They plan to prosecutive him for his “crimes of passion”. In other words, crimes Johnson committed from his “crocodile brain / limbic system / shopping trolley” rather than from any form of intelligent analysis and Churchillian decision-making that would befit a head of state. We want to see him prosecuted and jailed for his crimes. Click here to help.
Joshua and Peter’s proposal stems from several concerns they share, to name a few:
If you agree, please sign, share and support this project by Professor Joshua Silver and myself.
If we succeed, it will be the first time that the people have prosecuted a Prime Minister. This is not a pipedream. It is a well-researched project that could succeed, with sufficient backing.
Write a letter to your MP. Here is one prepared by Adrian Ekins-Daukes recently to help you compose yours. Find your MPs e-mail at Write to Them.
Dear Sir / Madam,
We would like to add our names to those of your constituents who have written to you asking that you write to the Chairman of the 22 Committee about the illegal parties held at No 10 during lockdown and the future of the Prime Minister.
These illegal parties were a criminal offence, for which heavy fines were imposed on ordinary miscreants. It was scandalously offensive that such an event should have taken place on the eve of Prince Phillip’s funeral service . We do not need a report from a civil servant to conclude that Johnson was aware of these activities, and may well have attended them. No 10 as a whole has set a disgraceful example. Those of Johnson’s supporters arguing for a second chance for him need reminding that Health Secretary Hancock had to resign at once for kissing his mistress on office premises, a much less visible breach of rules.
In Johnson’s defence, his supporters point to his record, notably the excellent vaccine roll-out in early 2021. Against that, due to his mismanagement of the pandemic in other respects, our death toll from the pandemic was amongst the highest in the world and has remained higher than in other comparable European countries. He also bears responsibility for No 10’s corrupt practices, notably in PPE procurement, the likes of which we have not been seen for over 150 years. More widely, he seems to have no clear ideas for economic recovery, whilst Internationally Britain’s influence is barely noticeable. Johnson’s reputation for untrustworthiness seems beyond redemption.
With such a record, Johnson has nothing more to offer this country. With this latest scandal, his removal from office is not only fully justified but essential .
Yours sincerely
YOUR NAME
You may also care to write a letter about the Police and Crime bill, Brexit carnage and other topics too numerous to mention. Just write. Letters are read even if your MP may have to pretend they have not read them. In case you have been bamboozled by Johnson’s record, there is an account of it embedded in this video. In case you think that asking the army to drown children at sea is clever, video number two explains the problem. Just write a letter.
Join us at our summit event to Re-Boot Britain on Monday January 31 at 8 pm via zoom. Please RSVP to peter@humdyn.co.uk
Downing street are vigorously denying that “Operation Back Big Dog” is in operation to rebuild Boris Johnson’s shattered reputation. That of course means that it is true. We followed the Big Dog theme in this parody version of doggy magazine “Big Dog World”:
FACT : Jacob Rees-Mogg did suggest that Johnson’s guidelines for lockdown may have been unnecessary as a way of excusing Johnson’s crimes. Tell that to the people grieving for loved ones who they were unable to say farewell to …
FICTION : The Police bill will not allow dogs to savage members of the public (yet). But that’s just about the only thing that they will not be allowed to do. Kill The Bill. Write to your MP today and ask them to vote it down.
FACT : Jolyon Maugham won a case which demonstrated that the crony COVID contracts were illegal. This was barely reported in the hullabaloo of Partygate.
FACT : Liz Truss has hired an image consultant to improve her chances of winning the leadership contest. But you cannot polish a turd …
FACT : Brexit loon Peter Bone has backed Boris Johnson on Channel 4 News. Compelling evidence to suggest that the ERG are about to knife him in order to put an even harder line Brexiteer in power or a lapdog (Truss). Be careful what you wish for.
FACT : Much of the continuing hullabaloo over Partygate has the side benefit of masking problems occurring with Brexit. Specifically Liz Truss’ manoeuvres on Northern Ireland. Read Professor Chris Grey’s insightful analysis of the unfolding situation in Northern Ireland and compare it with the populist ravings of Lord Andrew Adonis on the subject.
FACT : Changing the leader does not change the underlying problem. The ERG are fed up with Johnson but will either pick a lapdog (sic) i.e. Truss or a more hardline Brexiteer. In the Tory party the ERG tail still wags the Brexit dog. As Chris Grey mentions “when Johnson is replaced, his successor will be bound by the same, structural, constraints.” They will also be able to blame Brexit on the Johnson era. This does not mean we are any better off, possibly worse.
FACT : Brendan Donnelly explains why we must keep talking about Brexit rather than allowing the Johnson Junta to airbrush it off the table. It’s a one way journey.
FICTION : Dilyn the rescue dog has not spoken since the scandal broke.
FICTION : Margaret Hodge, Labour MP for Barking said “Boris is in the dog house and should be neutered”.
Read some of our recent articles :
Watch out for a tsunami of dead cats in the coming days, as Johnson attempts to divert attention from his criminal activities. Johnson’s modus operandi is to use distraction as a means to divert attention from important issues. He did it to “get Brexit done” (It’s not done by the way), we are still “world beaters” on COVID infections and deaths. All is done in order to save his dynasty, rather than from what my friend Judith Spencer calls “the spirit of service” which is the duty of a Prime Minister. Here is a short list of some anticipated dead cats. Some may seem frivolous and / or dark, but someone pointed out to me that they thought he may even consider asking for the Queen’s sacrifice to save his skin.
Johnson to announce that a family member has COVID – already done!
The Queen to remove Prince Andrew’s title – dang – already done!
A Chinese Spy is found in Parliament – they are caught by setting traps of Vesta Chow Mein with crispy noodles in Westminster by Priti Patel and Cressida Dick – ongoing.
Wilf is found to have been abducted. Piers Corbyn is seen with a suspicious parcel on the underground. Dilyn leads the search.
Nonce Andrew decides to do a fun run for “Save The Children” around Westminster Palace to raise funds for his prosecution.
Jacob Rees-Mogg is hired as the host of a remake of “Upstairs Downstairs” with Michael Fabricate as “Hudson”.
Nadine Dorries bans Chinese meals in the Parliament canteen.
Mark Francois is arrested for army themed crimes on manoeuvres in Canvey, using pop guns and other childhood militaria. He is suspected of training COVID army volunteers in armed combat with peashooters.
Iain Duncan Smith picks his nose again in Parliament.
Iran threaten to invade Clacton. Nigel Farage is called to form a battalion of the LDV to investigate kebab shops and novelty emporia.
Carrie delivers a surprise baby in what is described in the Daily Express as a virgin birth.
All European washing machines are recalled for failing to meet new Brexit standards on pollution. Army put on standby to wash smalls as the crisis mounts. Michel Barnier summoned to clean up the mess.
Nigel Farage announces that he has become Novak Djokovic’s personal trainer.
Boris Johnson goes to war in Ukraine – oh well !!
Chicken nugget shortages cause riots in Sainsbury.
Priti Patel shock revelations “my life in the Taliban caves”
The Mail reports that Meghan Markle is considering a trans operation.
COVID is declared officially over by John Redwood after watching a You Tube video on bacteria.
Andrew Bridgen rescues Novak Djokovic from an asylum centre in Kent, after he is arrested by Priti Patel in a dinghy trying to cross the channel.
Liz Truss invokes Article 16 and declares war in Ireland.
What are your favourite Dead Cats? With thanks to Helga Perry.
Make a comment and we’ll add your remark and credit you.
We leave you with some advice for Sue Grey on “rules”:
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I drove through a set of red lights recently. Shortly afterwards, I could not remember if I had committed the crime. I now await a report on whether I broke the law from someone that wasn’t there …. Frankly Boris Johnson’s “sorry, not sorry” statement in Parliament simply won’t wash. It has not convinced his party, or the people. Not one senior Tory stood up to defend his statement yesterday. Liz Truss managed a tweet. Rishi Sunak laid low. Jacob Rees-Mogg went on Newsnight to introduce a dead cat:
We have no need to wait for Sue Grey to report. Boris Johnson admitted his guilt. He should now be arrested and jailed. Simples.
I can’t help but repeat Boris Johnson’s record in office:
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