AC / DC, Vegemite, Kylie, INXS, Neighbours, Tim Tams, Rolf Harris, kangaroos, boomerangs, Home and Away, barbecues, koalas, Skippy, fairy bread, meat pies, fish and chips, Nicole Kidman, Sia, Pavlova, bush tucker, Ant and Dec, Men at Work, The Saints, Nick Cave. Toni Collette, Lamingtons, Golden Gaytime, The Bee Gees, Olivia Newton John, Midnight Oil, Ned Kelly, Russell Crowe, Mel Gibson, Castlemaine 4X, Margot Robbie, Fosters, Barry Humphries, Barry Crocker. Paul Hogan, Miriam Margolis, didgeridoos, Dame Edna, Tony Abbott. These are just some of the delights that await us from an Australian Brexit. Oh wait a minute …
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN AUSTRALIAN BREXIT
I’ll just repeat that …
Watch the video
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN AUSTRALIAN BREXIT
I’ll just repeat that
REALITY INTERVENTION
Our “Australian trade deal” gives five times the amount of trade to Australia compared with our trade. Remember, one of the reasons we left the EU was because we had a trade deficit with the EU. It proves the old Brexit adage “We need Australia more than they need us”
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A VEGEMITE BREXIT
According to bunter Johnson …
I’ll just repeat that
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A TIM TAM BREXIT
I’ll just repeat that
The notion of an Australian Brexit was introduced into the lexicon of Brexit Bullshit Bingo early in 2020 as a euphemism for No Deal Brexit. The EU does not have a deal with Australia. We are headed for a WTO No Deal Brexit, which should please the remaining 37 % of the population who want their Brexit hard, with BBQ sauce and massive tariffs on imports and exports.
Do not be gaslit by this. There remains NO good Brexit deal. The only good Brexit is a dead Brexit. Read why No Deal and a Brexit deal are the equivalent of a sudden death or a slow death in Brexit Choices. Read why rejoining is a unicorn in the mid-long term. We must now suspend or end Brexit in the wake of COVID and an oncoming “Britastrophe“.
We must Flush Brexit down the pan … I was assembling my equipment for our Silent Brexit Protest in Kent last Friday evening … Musing upon the bizarre week of 1984 styled events, especially the spectacle of thousands of portaloos arriving in Kent to cope with 72 mile tailbacks of traffic on the main arteries (A2, A20, M20, M2, M25, M26, A299, A256, A28, A251, A249, A229, A228, A25, A26, A259, A227 etc.). Riffing on the idea of Flush Brexit, it came to me:
“Wouldn’t it be great if we had a portaloo for our event on Saturday in Lenham”
I considered scouring the town’s skips for a suitable toilet bowl, but time was short, so I decided to focus on more important matters …
On Saturday morning, whilst driving down to Lenham, w came upon a bidet bowl (forin’ innit) and cistern that had been fly-tipped on a drive of a country house just off the A249 trunk road. It was difficult to stop with lorries behind me, but I knew we were meant to Flush Brexit from my Friday night brain dump. I decided to make a detour of 7 miles by driving back up the A249 and returning to pull into the tiny hollow. We collected the bog by the side of the road. Mischief managed.
This put me in mind of the shit that is published by the Daily Mail, so here is today’s news dressed up as the Maul on Sunday:
The Sunday Maul
In case you doubt where the actual stories come from, here are a few references:
Another piece of very dirty linen has emerged from Dominic Cummings’ laundry basket. Almost 20 years ago, he had a cottage built on land adjacent to his father’s farm house, without planning permission. Consequently, he never paid council tax on it either. The Valuation Office estimates that the outstanding tax on it amounts to between £30,000 and £50,000.
Breaking the law
There is apparently a statute of limitations on planning permission which allows unauthorised building to remain untouched after a certain period. Durham Council cannot therefore have the cottage demolished. However, there is no such loophole for arrears of council tax. Nonetheless, Cummings has somehow managed to arrange that he should be let off.
This is nothing short of scandalous. Any ordinary citizen who fails to pay Council tax, particularly on a property whose existence he had deliberately hidden from the authorities, would surely be required to pay not just the full amount of tax but interest and perhaps penalties on top. Failure or refusal to pay would normally result in a jail sentence. Yet Cummings, who likes to describe this cottage as a ‘pile of cement blocks’, gets off scot-free.
Cummings’ pile of cement blocks …
Regulation 47 of the Local Government Finance Act 1992 states people can be given prison sentences for not paying council tax if they have done so due to “culpable neglect”. This regulation is strictly applied. Nearly 700 people were imprisoned between 2010 and 2016 for not being able to pay their council tax, with a further 7,000 handed suspended orders threatening imprisonment. An extreme case was that of Melanie Woolcock of Porthcawl who was jailed for a £4742 Council tax debt she could not pay . She was a single mother and was caring for an elderly neighbour when she lost her job and fell behind in her council tax payments. Woodcock spent 40 days in prison before being released in view of her poverty. Comparing her degree of ‘culpable neglect’ with that of Dominic Cummings can only arouse a feeling of sickening disgust at the immunity he receives and the Government which grants it to him.
This new demonstration of his immunity from the law follows on from his notorious visit to Durham in complete disregard of COVID regulations and his trip to Barnard Castle, claiming that he was having his eyes tested. The fact that he thinks this ridiculous excuse should suffice for the authorities, the press and the British public shows the total contempt in which he holds us all. Now he is evading tax at a time when the rest of us will shortly face major tax increases. By shielding him from any penalties, Johnson, Gove and the law officers who disgrace their profession make themselves accessories to his deceptions and his illegalities.
With the wonderful people of North East for Europe – Getting our eyesight checked
There are other areas where Cummings activities raise very serious legal doubts. These will be dealt with in a coming issue where we ‘wash’ more of Cummings’ laundry.
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We plan to go back on the road again … to bugger Brexit.
We plan to take the “Bollocks to Brexit Mini Cooper” on the road again, on a COVID safe trip around Britain to raise awareness that Brexit can be suspended in the wake of Corona. We’ll be distributing 10 000 of the famous EU Flag Mafia stickers of two new designs. At each location we offer a music performance and a COVID safe protest to re-ignite Remainers who wish to see an end to Brexit disaster. The only good Brexit is a dead Brexit and Brexit is far from over – see Brexit Choices.
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Aside from this, we are organising a Festival of Brexit aka Futurama in November. We wish to pay the artists for their time to perform at the event. See Futurama for details.
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At the same time we’ll be writing articles and making video content along our journey. We hope not to get arrested this time as we did in Essex last time we did this – see Arrested Development.
In case you are confused about whether Brexit can be stopped please read Brexit Choices. Brexit is a political process and the law is merely a civil servant to the political will. Just consider how many laws our Government has broken to “get brexit done”, including international law.
The case for suspending Brexit can be found at SuspEND Brexit. It is somewhat doubtful that we’ll be able to rejoin, especially if we end up with a Brexit deal, so we must act now. See Fool Britannia for some analysis on the prospects of rejoining the EU in the mid-long term.
We plan to commence the tour at the beginning of November so there’s no time to waste. Please support the project and share with others.
The Mini Cooper offers a powerful reminder that Brexit is far from done
Deliver us from Britastrophe – Click to support our work
There is very little to say other than watch the video – a remake of the classic Roy Orbison song Pretty Woman (sorry Roy) – Priti Woman – Bully Back Better. Over 27 years I have written 12 books on business leadership and it is true to say that “the fish rots from the head”. Boris Johnson’s tolerance and even encouragement of bullying is probably a reflection of the Bullingdon bullying, which characterises our testosterone fuelled Brexit administration. In case you are unsure about Boris Johnson’s record on bullying, remember watermelon smiles, bum boys in tank tops and piccaninnies. Not to mention the numerous insults he has made about “Remoaners”. The characterisation of 1/4 of your people as doomsayers, pessimists and so on is a shameful element of Boris Johnson’s legacy as a Prime Minister and will pay him back badly in terms of cohesion and commitment to recover from our “Britastrophe“.
Priti Patel has chosen to fit in with the Johnson alpha male bullying stereotype, rather than stand out for a more humanistic approach to questions of asylum, immigration and, of course, Brexit. This is particularly disappointing as females have the opportunity to present a more emotionally intelligent form of leadership than many members of the male gender. If you have to shout and swear to maintain authority as a leader, you have failed, plain and simple.
You may have to wash your eyes out with bleach after watching the video !! 🙂 Warning, contains images of Johnson and other Bullingdon Bullies:
Priti Woman was recorded in record time with Rachel Ashley in Cheshire. We collaborated online to produce the song, using words I wrote in bed on Saturday morning 21 November 2020. Priti Woman – Bully Back Better can be found on The Brexit Party Album – The Party album to end all parties. I’ve had a bit of pushback from the usual Remainers who found the video offensive, although they did not specify whether it was the dildos, cats or BDSM allusions. Remember Priti is in charge here. I was more “disturbed” that no one has so far mentioned the fact that the “whips” are all timed to be “on the one” and that each whipping pans the entire stereo field in the time taken to crack the whip. The Chief Whip should take note …
Bullying is not cool
In case of doubt, here is the foreword to The Ministerial Code, written by Boris Johnson. It is virtually unrecognisable in terms of the difference between the code and current practice:
The mission of this Government is to deliver Brexit on 31st October 2019 for the purpose of uniting and re-energising our whole United Kingdom and making this country the greatest place on earth.
We will seize the opportunities offered by Brexit, investing in education, technology and infrastructure, unlocking the talents of the whole nation and levelling up across our United Kingdom so that no town or community is ever again left behind or forgotten. In doing so, we will make our country the greatest place to invest or set up a business, the greatest place to send your kids to school and the greatest place in the world to live and bring up a family.
To fulfil this mission, and win back the trust of the British people, we must uphold the very highest standards of propriety – and this code sets out how we must do so.
There must be no bullying and no harassment; no leaking; no breach of collective responsibility. No misuse of taxpayer money and no actual or perceived conflicts of interest. The precious principles of public life enshrined in this document – integrity, objectivity, accountability, transparency, honesty and leadership in the public interest – must be honoured at all times; as must the political impartiality of our much admired civil service.
Crucially, there must be no delay – and no misuse of process or procedure by any individual Minister that would seek to stall the collective decisions necessary to deliver Brexit and secure the wider changes needed across our United Kingdom.
The time has come to act, to take decisions, and to give strong leadership to change this country for the better.
That is what this Government will do.
BORIS JOHNSON
Write to the Conservative Party and call for Priti Patel’s resignation
Read all about Brexit Choices still open to us at Brexit Choices
Watch our groundbreaking interviews with former MEPs at VIP Interviews
Amplify some tweets and copy to people who need to act:
Because nothing says “she’s done nothing wrong” like blocking access to a key witness and trying to hide a report that was finished 7 months ago. https://t.co/ceugiYnJ2f
You paid for a inquiry into Priti Patel’s behaviour. That inquiry found that she bullied people and broke the ministerial code. There are no known examples of ministers breaking the code and remaining in position. Boris Johnson has chosen to ignore the inquiry. Bullies are weak.
When you think about #Patel and bullying remember that it is a clearly representative of her whole dishonest and cruel attitudes. This is her advocating the return of capital punishment.#PatelTheBullypic.twitter.com/S0pmTPvWRZ
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Dominic Cummings, Chief Adviser to the Prime Minister and would be dictator, has gone. He leaves behind an unparalleled legacy of chaos and destruction.
All power is centralised at No 10, with key functions such as appointments, vetting and control of data the exclusive preserve of the Chief Adviser.
His nominees occupy key posts for which they are totally unqualified.
Ministers opposing him have been sacked and most of the rest have proved second rate or worse.
The functions of the cabinet have been usurped by a crowd of unelected advisors who, according to the last Cabinet Secretary, meet and take decisions with no ministers present.
Parliament has been sidelined and MPs contemptuously disregarded.
To cap it all, there are clauses in the Internal Market Bill, now before Parliament, permitting the government to legislate by executive order over a broad field.
This bill is currently blocked by the House of Lords, and is also in breach of international law. But even if the latter aspect is eventually removed under pressure from the United States and EU, the danger of increased government by decree will remain.
This is the state of democratic government in the UK as 2020 comes to a close.
Many years ago, Lord Hailsham warned that Britain was an ‘elected dictatorship.’ Now we can see what sort of dictatorship it can become in the wrong hands.
Whilst we are here, please continue to share the Priti Woman Bully Back Better video which had over 1000 views yesterday. Share with your MP.
Article image by Cold War Steve https://coldwarsteve.com
Cummings has gone – But it’s business as usualas we remain dogged by dogma.
The departure of Chief Adviser Dominic Cummings aroused some hope of a new beginning:
Dogma would be replaced by realism.
Honesty would replace corruption and cronyism.
Respect for the rule of law and our constitutional conventions would be restored.
This has already proved to be naive. The Culture Secretary is pursuing plans to abolish the BBC and replace it with American-style radio and TV. Hancock has given an influential post in the health department to a lobbyist, a former girlfriend from university. The Government still ignores appeals from business to postpone Brexit at least until the pandemic has abated and normal conditions restored – an attitude described by one commentator as about as sensible as a man with a broken leg trying to take part in a marathon.
Get Ready for 30 miles traffic jams, portaloos and dogging stations
Above all, there is no sign in the EU negotiations of the government compromising on its demand to be able to bribe foreign investors on terms which are denied to EU members themselves. As Johnson and Frost well know, this is incompatible with any level playing field and strikes at the heart of the EU’s single market. Their refusal to compromise on this key issue makes it plain that ‘No Deal’ has been their aim alI along. If that occurs, the resultant expense, disruption and impoverishment will be 100% their responsibility, and theirs alone. Paradoxically, it may perhaps also hasten their downfall and open the way for more reasonable successors to negotiate a closer relationship with the EU or even rejoin earlier than might otherwise have been the case. They may in fact come to be dogged by dogma.
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On this day when the Government says that we need to extend Brexit negotiations and that Brexit is all Cummings’ fault anyway. It also emerges that a US trade deal is years away. Here, we offer a news roundup via the medium of the satirical “Kent Massager”, as Brexshit hits the fan.
In case of doubt …
FACT : The Daily Express DID report on FURY re our Kent Toilet of Britain project. In fact it was not mass fury. FICTION : The Express managed to find just ONE person, in Yorkshire, who objected to the signs in Kent.
Don’t read the Daily Express, click to read the “Excess”
FACT : Trials at the border show that if it takes 70 seconds to check a lorry, a five mile queue ensues. We can expect significant and continuing gridlock in Kent and maybe even into Sussex, Surrey and London if Brexit happens.
FACT : There has been a prediction of an increase in dogging in Kent after Brexit. We are not sure why it matters but there you go. I prefer Labradors to Terriers myself. How about you?
FICTION : Priti Patel has NOT unblocked a toilet. FACT : She has blocked the futures of EU Citizens living in UK and UK Citizens living in Europe. Our video Priti Woman has been banned for under 18’s after complaints by the Conservative party. We don’t know why. Here it is for your pleasure.
No, it’s not a mis-spelt article title. Anus Horribilis refers to the toxic combination of Brexshit and Corona aka a Britastrophe. In this yearly roundup I’m picking out some of the lowlights of 2020 and some of the early indicators of the Britastrophe to come. But of course, firstly, let me wish you happy new year via some music:
Project Fear v Project Fact
Gibraltar struck their own arrangements with the EU on 30.12.20 and British residents gained the ability to live and work in Spain and 27 EU countries by adopting Schengen. In the longer term this may lead to the re-integration of Gibraltar into Spain. Brexiteers said it would never happen …
Northern Ireland has similar privileges, now that Johnson dropped his “dead body promise” that there would NEVER be a border in the Irish sea. Included in the arrangements are the continuation of the EHIC healthcare scheme and the Erasmus scheme for young people to study in Europe.
Write to your MP. Demand a level playing field on free movement, Erasmus and EHIC cards. There must be unity of rights and freedoms.
Just yesterday it was revealed that another lorry park is to be built around the White Cliffs of Dover to cope with delays caused by Brexit. Michael Gove promised frictionless borders. Stockpiling means that borders are currently less busy but just reflect on these mind boggling facts:
More than 220 million customs forms will have to be processed by about 5,000 Customs officers for freight transport in the New Year. These apply to anything over 7.5 tonnes, laden or not. You’ll need a Kent (Road) Access Permit (KRAP) which lasts 24 hours, every time you come in, for a start. Some British exporters are to temporarily delay sending goods to Europe for a couple of weeks because they won’t subject their drivers to the delays.
Read this shocking account of lorry drivers trapped in Kent for days by Kent Police under direction from Priti Patel and our Brexit Government. Anus Horribilis has only just begun.
Treated like animals to feed the Brexiteers red meat and silence opposition to Brexit
COVIDIOTS
In an act of wilful madness, Johnson has changed the regime of COVID vaccinations so that people get a sub-optimal single dose with a possible follow up some 12 weeks later. The worst case scenario from this is that we will have millions of under-protected people wandering around thinking they are invincible. At the same time, the Government plan to mix and match vaccines from different manufacturers when there is no clinical evidence to suggest this is safe. The Government blamed the suppliers for failing to supply sufficient vaccine. Pfizer have just denied this is the case.
Write to your MP. Demand that COVID vaccines be given according to the recommended dosing regime.
BOJONA-21 is here – a psychotropic drug that makes it impossible for people to tell truth from lies. It’s very catchy so watch out. It is transmitted through contact with The Sun, Daily Mail and The Express.
Brexorcism
Brexiteers have had a sudden and dramatic change of heart. From 2016-2020 they cried “Remoaners! Traitors! Saboteurs! Enemies of the people!!!” In a dramatic reversal they are now saying: “It’s time to put aside our differences and move forward together…”
I for one am not prepared to collaborate with people who wilfully voted to ruin my children’s futures and have not demonstrated any atonement or behavioural change. Here is a video of someone who sent a death threat to my family and was later on caught in the act using spray paints and a knife to attack my property:
I will never “move on” and faced a huge dose of hatred from hardline Brexiteers over this tweet. Why are they so angry? They won FFS.
Write to your MP, asking them to Take Back Control of our Laws, now that Brexit is done. A couple of example letters for you to base your letter on are included below. The sample letters range from the sublime to the ridiculous. Pick your style and get writing. Let’s hold our MPs to account for the Brexit illusions from 2016 now that we can expect the sunlit uplands to appear. Your MP’s email is of the form firstname.lastname.mp@parliament.uk
Dear xxx,
I write to ask for the £350 million every week for the NHS, now that you have got Brexit done. Please can you provide a discounted cash flow statement for these inputs, set against the £200 BILLION or so of costs accrued so far on Brexit. Can you also provide an account of all the contracts issued to companies who failed to deliver PPE, test and trace and so on so I can calculate the impact on my tax bill.
All the best
*********************
Dear xxx,
Now that you have got Brexit done, I write to ask you to help rid the UK of those EU laws which were holding us back. In particular I ask that you attend to the pressing matter of upgrading the lightbulbs in my street lamps. They offer no illumination and were installed by my council, following pressure from residents to restore the street to Edwardian times. As well as this, they have been forced to introduce the ritual of regular bear-bating sessions and the infection of local people with syphilis and typhoid. I understand from the Council that they were forced, yes forced, to have these practices, because of EU laws imposed upon our once great nation.
Please also table a motion in Parliament to insist that all bananas conform to a maximum angle of curvature of 7 degrees. I chose the number 7 for no reason other than it is a prime number.
Whilst you are doing this, I have a number of annoying migrating birds in my garden. Many are of European origin. I have invented a unique device that traps the foreign ones and then deprives them of food until they are no more. I have shown my design patent to Priti Patel. Would you like to see it? (under confidential disclosure of course). I am presently designing an upgraded model that strangles the birds whilst playing Ode to Joy, in the hope that the word will get back to Brussels that we don’t want their stupid Beethoven music. After all, we have Robbie Williams.
Let’s Take Back Control of our Laws.
I await your reply.
Keep up the good work.
Peter Cook
******************
Dear xxx.
Brexit is done ! Thats the battle, crying on the street. Now we can take bak control of our money, boarders and laws. I write to ask. you to deal with this pressing matter,
There is a man called Tomek in my town. We call him Tommy and he likes it, But he doesnt speak propper English. When I speak with him he OFTEN gets things WRONG. It annoys my wife and my friend Brad in the pub where we have illegal lockdown boozing sessions. Please have Tommy arrested and sent to the Ascension Islands to learn. I know he run’s the only super-market in town, but we were fine before Tommy came here. so we will be grate agin.
We must take bak controll of are shops. Do it today and. show these forins hat we can grow are own.
Cheers matey
Graeme
*****************
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