As Liz Truss becomes more desperate to win the election, her measures become more desperate. But the Janusian confusion in “Trussian” thinking continues. The key question is “Do you trust Truss?” We depicted the question in the Queen song “Now I’m here” in the attached video “The Two Minds of Liz Truss”. Famously, Freddie Mercury sings “Now I’m here” from one side of the stereo field and “Now I’m there” from the other side. Truss is all over the place – even surround sound could not cover Truss’ ever changing moods !!
We made the video to leaven Truss’ chances of winning. A Prime Minister with no real majority will find it hard to enact radical policies and the ideal ironic election result would be 52 : 48.
Available to order direct from ebay – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com. Also on Amazon at a higher price.
Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com
We wish to fight the next election. Support our campaign via Patreon, Paypal or GoFundMe.
Extract from the book Private Eyelines. Britain officially slid into what looks like an L-Shaped recession today (L stands for LONG). Whilst Corona undoubtedly provided the tipping point into recession, we must also look longer into the past for the underlying reasons. The FTreports that UK is the worst performing nation in Europe regarding our decline into recession under Corona. Brexit must therefore be added in terms of how deep and rapid our plunge into recession has been. Brexit uncertainly has laid the table for our Britastrophe, making Britain especially vulnerable in terms of resilience. The term resilience is essentially our ability to ride out tough times. Longer term, adding a man made disaster in slow motion (Brexit) to the Corona crisis offers us a “Britastrophe“. We have to endure Corona, but we need not have Brexit.
In March 2020, we made some socio-economic and political forecasts about the coming 6 months. Prediction is largely a dangerous game, but it turns out we were mostly right. We would be very badly advised to add Brexit to our list of problems in 2021 under this analysis:
But here at Rage Against Brexit we look deeper at the underlying economics and today we can report that it seems that Britain’s problems have been caused by … cheese ….
Taking back control … of our Stilton
Liz Truss has made the protection of Stilton a red line in the Brexit talks with Japan. In case you are not familiar, Truss is a massive defender of cheese and has made it her personal mission to defend her “blue veins” against what she considers the “yellow peril” in Brexit talks.
In case you are wondering about the benefits of the “Stilton Clause” as it is referred to in Whitehall, here they are:
Our trade with Japan was worth £31.6 billion last year
The Stilton Wedge is worth £102 million
In case of doubt, a billion is more than a million – a lot more
70% of Japanese people are unable to eat Stilton due to lactose intolerance
Liz Truss: [furiously] “Tell the yellow midgets that they’d better start liking Stilton or they can make their fucking cars in their own country”
The easiest deal in history
You may well ask, why is Liz standing up for cheese? Well, it may have escaped your attention, but we have not done a significant trade deal since we “left” on January 31st, 2020, although we all know that Liam Fox said that getting trade deals was to be the easiest thing in history. Liz needs to bring in the bacon (and brie) pronto, so that we can say we did a better deal with Japan than the EU did … because Stilton is included. Makes sense, eh?
The Stilton Clause” is said to include unlimited supplies of Cheesy Wotsits in exchange for the ceremonial inclusion of a Torii at Cheddar Gorge and its use on premium brand Cheddar:
Moveable Feast
In other news, the much vaunted moveable barrier for the M20 gridlock in Kent promised for 31 December 2020 by Grant Shapps is not going to be ready until 2022. Shapps was heard to say that this would not be a problem, as we would improvise with wedges of cheese in the two year intervening period. Here is an artists’ impression of the SS (Stilton System) in action during the Brexit food shortages.
As Boris will say:
The British Government is crumbling
Sadly Corona, Flu and Flooding are natural phenomena. Brexit is a man-made disaster and we don’t need to add it to the Winter of Discontent. We must avoid a BRITASTROPHE.
Available to order direct from ebay – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com. Also on Amazon at a higher price.
Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com
We wish to fight the next election. Support our campaign via Patreon, Paypal or GoFundMe.
Find all our populist parodies at https://brexitrage.com/gutterpress
EXTRACT from the book Private Eyelines. I’ve noticed that everything is UP in the post-Brexit sunny uplands world. What could have possibly caused this?
Costs of children’s shoes are UP by 20% shortly. Jacob Rees-Mogg promised that shoe prices would plummet after Brexit. Oh dear, Jake was wrong.
Inflation in UK is UP at over 6%. This is exceptional.
Gas prices are UP by 54% In France they are UP by 4% France levied a windfall tax on energy companies using their own sovereign powers. In Brexit Britain our Brexit freedoms seem to have prevented this. How strange?
Hunger is UP.
Food bank usage in Britain is UP, but food bank donations are DOWN.
COVID cases are UP. This is preventing the NHS from treating people with other serious conditions.
DEATHS will be UP but Boris Johnson says that COVID is DOWN. Of course, he is WRONG.
Russian influence is UP.
Sunak’s tax dodging is UP. His holidays in California are UP. More sunny uplands.
Bullshit from the Go Home Office about the Ukrainian refugee settlement scheme is UP.
Queues on the M20 / M2 in Kent are UP. P&O Ferries are only in part to blame. Since we have no resilience in our port systems after Brexit, only a small knock is needed to bring the system to a standstill.
The Brexit IT system is UP the cack. This does not help, but the underlying cause of delays in Kent is Brexit and not the IT system per se. if we did not have Brexit we would not have the crappy IT system and we would not have gridlock in Kent.
Urination is Kent is up as drivers have no place to go (freedom of movement and urination).
National Insurance is UP.
Sea levels are UP.
Hospital parking fees are UP.
Looting is UP.
Tory ethics are DOWN.
Labour is UP.
Tax is UP.
The game is UP.
With thanks to all at Re-Boot Britain for this list. The sunny uplands can only increase. This list is an extract from Private Eyelines.
Available to order direct from ebay – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com. Also on Amazon at a higher price.
Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com
We wish to fight the next election. Support our campaign via Patreon, Paypal or GoFundMe.
Every cloud … This week, I had a serious accident when I was nearly run over and killed on my bicycle by an articulated lorry travelling at 50 mph. I was admitted to A&E and found to have a number of fractured bones in my lower back and in areas connected to the spine. I am presently recuperating. As is the way with such things, people tend to get in touch to find out how you are. My estranged sister was one of them and she was WhatsApping me on Thursday. I decided to break our arrangement of silence and called her by phone. I say estranged because I asked that she stop visiting for family teas some years ago after she said she and her husband voted for Brexit to “keep two million German rapists out of Tonbridge” and to “stop Sharia Law in Britain”. I found our conversation deeply depressing and cut ties for family gatherings as a result. We must still Brexorcise people if we are to move the dial – see Books to change minds, although my sister is not really part of my target market – she is beyond redemption. The phone conversation went something like this:
S: I’m only phoning up to find out how you are Peter. I’m not going to go on about my ailments.
ME: I thank her, explain briefly that I’m OK and answer questions about the accident. As expected this is followed by a full exposition of ‘her ailments’, which I allow, as she is quite old and it’s expected anyway as part of our normal conversation. I find out which pills she is on and so on and host of other unnecessary information. Still, that’s family for you.
S: I suppose you are really pleased today?
ME: Why?
S: Well, Boris going and all that? (she knows she should not bring the subject up but cannot help herself).
ME: No, not at all. (she is perplexed as she only sees issues as being binary off / on, in / out, yes / no decisions). I wait a bit and then continue: As you know changing the figurehead does not change the underlying problem which remains, in other words Brexit.
S (looking for an escape route): Well, I could not vote for Keir Starmer.
ME: What exactly is it that means you cannot vote for him? Nor can I by the way.
S: (long pause) er, um, well I don’t know really but it’s just a feeling (she reads The Daily Maul). I note that she is beginning to question her statement and let it go.
S: (after my embarrassingly long pause): Well, Boris is funny isn’t he?
ME: Yes, he is …. (long awkward pause), but being funny is not the most important thing if you are running the country …
S: (fumbling) Well, he did COVID well didn’t he.
ME: Er, yes if you think that 170 000 unnecessary deaths is good (long pause). You do realise that there were other choices and that this course of action was not inevitable? (long pause). S: Did you know that I’m a great grandmother? We continue with small talk.
A friend wondered why I continue to bother and in some ways she is right. My sister represents a small group of people for whom little will change in terms of their beliefs about Brexit. They do however offer an excellent practice arena for the larger swathe of people who now doubt the wisdom of Brexit. We must work on this group now that they are starting to question the lies they were sold about Brexit. In a relatively short intervention I was able to raise significant doubt about the following matters:
Remainers are not all Boris haters or ‘lefty losers’.
Keir Starmer has some competences to lead. My sister is of the view that Starmer represents communism in her binary world.
Entertainment is not a core leadership skill. Other qualities matter more. Johnson was good at the Olympics and could have possibly had a career presenting ‘It’s a kockout’. However these skills are insufficient to run the country.
Killing people unnecessarily is not something to be proud of.
Herd immunity was not the only choice to address COVID (Brexiteers love the modal operator of necessity – see the books for more information on linguistics).
We simply cannot change the outlook on Brexit unless we work outside the bubble. Read the books today and arm yourself to have these difficult conversations. Every cloud …
Available to order direct from ebay – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com. Also on Amazon at a higher price.
Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com
We wish to fight the next election. Support our campaign via Patreon, Paypal or GoFundMe.
I thought it foolish of Andrew Adonis to coin the phrase “if Boris goes, Brexit goes”. Simply cutting the head off the Brexit hydra does not of itself mean that the monster is dead. In this article I explore what now for Brexit, based on some less hysterical projections. I accept that Boris Johnson has embodied Brexit as his project, much in the same way that Anita Roddick WAS The Body Shop and it was never the same without her. However The Body Shop did continue without Roddick and the Tory party has invested a great deal into Brexit. Whether we like it or not, the Tory party is the most successful party of all time and it will not walk away from its investment in Brexit lightly. The recent leadership debates are testament to the resilience of the Tory party, even under severe logical, legal and political challenges.
But there is hope. The inner civil war inside the Tory party which gave birth to Brexit is alive and kicking and very visible in the so-called leadership debates. A tsunami of lies from Truss, Morduant and Badenoch typified the debates, with others trying to hold the Conservative party together and one saying that a fresh start was needed. Sadly a fresh start is not possible with the same raw materials. Leopards and spots etc. The leadership contest will not solve the inherent instability of the Conservative party. A fresh start would include the removal of the right wing loony elements from the party. Tom Tugendhat and Rishi Sunak are both capable of that. We will see whether they are willing to do it in time. Rishi in particular bears the scars of knowing that Johnson nearly killed his career and we may see a change in his behaviour if elected compared with his role as part of the Exec. I predict a purge of the thickos from cabinet if he wins. With Truss in charge, I predict a full cabinet of thickos, so as not to undermine the TIC (Thicko in Chief).
Badenoch demonstrated dangerous levels of incompetence by saying that people were sick and tired of Brexit. I am one of those people who is sick and tired of Brexit. But I’m also intelligent enough to know that Brexit is a life changing process. Like it or loathe it we would do well to treat it with the importance it deserves. Pretending it does not exist is a recipe for disaster for future generations. She applied the same desperate logic to the question of climate change, claiming that people were more concerned with parochial issues than having a planet to live on. Kemi demonstrates a real poverty of time management skills by confusing things which are urgent with those that are urgent and important:
My left wing (I’m not a lefty looser as many Brexiteers would have it) friends tell me that we must have a general election. Sadly, my scientific and analytical side tells me that the Tories won’t choose to have one at this time due to the Johnson factor. Labour would have to find a way to force a GE. At this time Labour do not have answers on Brexit either, having colluded passively with the Tories to “get Brexit done”. The Tories will wait until they are likely to win an election or are forced to do so. It is yet another unicorn to suggest otherwise and they will use any excuse necessary to justify their position (WWIII, cost of living crisis, COVID, Brexit etc.).
We must still work on politicians, media and the great unwashed to change minds about Brexit and Europe. These books really help in that effort.
Private Eyelines – e-mail reboot@brexitrage.com or click the image buy discount copies direct from the author
Hooray!
A Knowing Rant barking in the pre-Woke tradition of British barbed political satire.This book takes no prisoners!
But, there’s certainly reasoned method within Peter Cook’s tome of madness.
Presented in quality full colour format, it is basically a reversed diary wittily detailing his Anti-Brexit Campaign over the past six years.
His photomontages stick the knife in exactly where deserved. While gloriously tasteless in the extreme, these visions of horror grasp the reader warmly by the throat. No longer should we allow ourselves to drift towards the inevitability of Brexit. We must address The Mess That It Undoubtedly IS!
But it is the text that really matters. Vast amounts of carefully uncovered and sifted information which our elders and betters of the upper echelons would wish the lower orders to ignore or better still, forget.
As such the book will find a home with Remainers who need to find smart ways of explaining difficult issues fully supported with depth.
Also by gifting it to Brexiteers who will love its straightforwardness and cheeky delivery style. I found it best to progress backwards from the end where Peter lays down his initial pitch.
All commentaries, justifications and future expectations are intelligently reasoned. Increasing backwards from Z to A he forever rams his points home. An excellent addition to Peter Cook’s other books spanning business, leadership and creativity.
By Wokery, ‘Tis a goodly read!
Michael Alexander PhD
“Whack it in a microwave, gas mark four. Prick the lid,”- said prime minister Boris Johnson about Brexit. This book of razor-sharp political satire does a lot of lid-pricking, demonstrating persistent problems with the microwave and a ready-meal of Brexit itself. Johnson’s ignorance of how a microwave works epitomises the sheer level of incompetence of his government regarding to complexities of the U.K.’s decades-long relationship with the EU.
This unique book can be read in two ways: from start to finish or from finish to start. You might be shocked, appalled or disgusted. You most definitely will have a laugh.
The companion book “Reboot Britain by changing minds about Brexit and Europe” offers a masterclass in the gentle art of what I call Brexorcism. Brexit has broken Britain, economically, socially, culturally, politically and environmentally. Quite simply, Brexit has not delivered what was promised on the tin in 2016, for anyone in our DisUnited Kingdom. This book explains how we may join anew for a better Britain in a better Europe for a better world and persuade others to do the same.
Strategies and scenarios to join anew 2021 – 2031.
Brexit freedoms, unicorns, ghosts and fantasy stories laid to rest.
The influence of Russia and Vladimir Putin on Brexit and the Johnson Junta.
The psychology of ‘Brexorcism’ and the anatomy of the Brexit psyche.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) applied to the task of softening hardened minds on Brexit.
How to hold difficult conversations with Leavers in regret and Remainers in remission.
How does Brexorcism differ in real life from online conversations and what can you do about it?
Strategies to put forward a positive vision of a united Europe and heal rifts from the ‘dialogue of the deaf’ over 6 years.
Stories to motivate you and show how these strategies work in practice. Alongside this we explore a number of ‘glorious failures’ as they offer even better insights to success.
A resource section on how to break ‘parliamentary paralysis’, how to make progress in advocacy to MPs and how to engage mainstream media (MSM).
How to multiply your impact and pro-Europe / anti-Brexit influence in real life conversations, lobbying and in mainstream and / or social media.
A Brexorcism requires time, patience, unconditional positive regard and skill. This book provides these elements, drawing on a range of approaches to change management from psychology, sociology and therapeutic approaches.
Order direct from the author at a discount via reboot@brexitrage.com or via Amazon:
If you have six women in your life, it pays to make a law that includes them all to avoid anger, in a specific and limited way. In this article we consider the “joy of six”.
The Pound sustained a six week low as news of Brexit shambles reached the markets.
Six Londoners were either totally depressed about Brexit or optimists in a specific and limited way, for example, if you are a trader who can make money out of other people’s misery as well as their success.
Sir Keir Starmer had six tests for Brexit in 2017. He appears to have forgotten them. We haven’t. He now says that Brexit is done. It is not. See Suspended Animation.
We have now had six rounds of trade talks with the EU. We have achieved nothing. In fact it’s worse than this. The high water mark of Brexit trade deals was Theresa May’s deal. Everyone agrees that, the deal has gradually been eroded since that time.
But Johnson gets to shag six women in a Boris Bubble, so that’s OK then?
Available to order direct from ebay – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com. Also on Amazon at a higher price.
Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com
I did an analysis of the car crash Mumsnet v Boris Johnson interview using the medium of the BBC Radio 4 programme “Just a Minute”, with apologies to Nicholas Parsons.
Johnson is doing the reading at St Paul’s today. Apart from talking about honesty and thou shalt not commit adultery, his reading will mainly consist of Rule Brittania, Rule Boris, spaff-waff, bazookas, Jubilee, jubilation, jubinobs party, no party, our party, my party, sovereignty … balderdash, bunkum, hokum, pokum, where’s Carrie, who’s Carrie, ah Carrie you make me feel so young Jennifer, sorry Carrie, God save me, I mean God Save the Queen; whilst roughing up his mop (hair, not wife or current lover 🤮🤮🤮) With thanks to Jackie Brook and BillieJoeMcAll on Twitter.
Well worth your time
Turn despair into action. Join us every Monday at 8pm on ZOOM via Reboot Britain.
God save the Queen from Boris Johnson, Brexit and Prince Andrew. Our latest edition of ‘The Son’ previews a weekend of flagshagging. Just in case you are confused, here is a fact and faction decoder:
FACT: There have been bunting shortages[1] for the jubilee! It does not come from the EU though as intimated in some circles …
FICTION: A pint is not 562 ml. It is 568.26125 ml. Millilitres are not the product of EU law but the result if SI units. Lions are not English even though they appear on t-shirts. FACT: A pint is not a standard measure as a US pint is not the same as a UK pint with a US pint coming in at 473 ml. The obsession of the British government with imperial measures is simply another piece of ‘red meat’ to feed to Brexit voters at the jubilee!
FICTION: Sue Gray has never appeared in Eastenders, nor have the Mitchell brothers removed her organs in an East End styled murder. We are pretty sure that Boris Johnson would have her removed if he thought he could get away with the dirty deed however.
FACT: Priti Patel has not ordered teachers to bear arms in schools as yet. Give her time …
FACT: Liverpool football fans were held up at Dover for hours[2], as Brexit border controls started to bite hard. Is this what you voted for when he said we would be “taking back control of our borders”?
FACT: Boris Johnson has cancelled the part of the Ministerial code that holds him responsible if he breaks the law. The law literally no longer applies to him. Is this what you voted for when he said we would be “taking back control of our laws”? Priti Patel continues to try to cancel refugees through sponsored drowning and sending to re-education camps in Rwanda. Culture secretary Nadine Dorries is trying to cancel culture. It’s all a bit Reginald Perrin really. If the going gets tough, Kim Jon Bojo will likely cancel general elections.
FACT: Quite subtlely, Conservative ministers have started to blame Ukraine for domestic problems when the feed through to our economy is largely not related to problems in Ukraine as yet. Rishi Sunak did it at the so-called emergency budget on 26 May 2022 by stating that 80% of our problems were ‘global’. Horseshit. Brexit has made an impact of some 4-5% on inflation, all of this man-made and therefore avoidable. Lee Anderson inferred that the poor were to blame for poverty. Subtle mentions of Africa in relation to Monkeypox cement the idea that the disease has an ethnic component for feeble racist minds.
FACT: Ireland is not to blame for Brexit. It is wholly the product of our own government. We own it. It’s ours. 100%. Priti Patel has used the spectre of a repeat of the Irish potato famine[3] to feed weak English minds and distract them from the plain facts of Brexit.
God save the Queen from Johnson! Download Prince Andrew is a Sweaty Nonce to tell Boris Johnson and Justin Welby that child abuse is NOT OK. Mumsnet ate Boris Johnson for breakfast the other day. Our analysis of the encounter via the medium of “Just a Minute” follows.
It’s the Queen’s platinum jubilee and the Brexit gammon are high. On Saturday 28 May I met one of the Brexit flagshaggers at 7am in the morning, at my train station in Kent, en-route to Brighton to give a masterclass on rejoining the EU. I decided to perform a miniature Street Brexorcism. The conversation went something like this:
HIM: Oh, I suppose you are off to one of those remoaner protests in London again, having fucked the country up (he had noticed my Break Brexit Before Brexit Breaks Britain t-shirt).
ME: Not exactly. I’m off to talk to a bunch of entitled lefty twats in Brighton about my latest book.
HIM: That’s not very nice.
ME: Nah, it’s OK. People in Brighton can probably afford to ride the storm of Brexit. It’s the people who live here in Medway like you and me that I feel sorry for. They must bear the consequences.
HIM: Nah. We’d have been alright if it had not been you lot stopping us getting Brexit done properly.
ME: But you have a pretty hard Brexit. Boris popped in the oven and it’s done. What did you get from Brexit by the way?
HIM (dithering slightly and getting a bit angry): It’s too soon to say (obviously he could name nothing).
ME: OK, but what did you want from Brexit?
HIM (calming a little): Well, I wanted local democracy rather than being told what to do?
ME: Have you got that?
HIM (confused): Too soon to say. You lot spoiled it anyway.
ME: We can agree that we have not got more local democracy. But you give me too much power by assuming that I can change anything. We are all ignored by politicians. I’m sure you realise that Brexit was not for us. It was for them. You do realise that Johnson cancelled democracy yesterday when he put himself beyond the law by cancelling the ministerial code?
HIM (he did not know about the changes to the ministerial code): I don’t care about Boris. He can fuck off.
ME: Anyway, I must be off to talk to the ‘entitled lefty pricks’ of Brighton. Nice to speak.
HIM: That’s rude. You are not going to call them that are you?
ME: Of course. They know who they are, as we do. I’m just intelligent scum. Anyway, thank you for speaking with me.
I met Simon Calder again on Saturday at St Pancras en route to Paris. Had a great conversation about The #Beatles and #Brexit. He pointed out that all the queues were down to Brexit
— Reboot Britain – Rage Against The Brexit Machine (@BrexitRage) May 31, 2022
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In this edition of the Daily Excess we focus on the effects of Brexit on food price rises and the extraordinary statements by Tories blaming the poor for their plight.
FACT: Lee Anderson claimed that people on low wages were not able to cook economically and said that he could cook a meal from scratch for 30 pence[1]. The Trussell Trust replied: “Cooking from scratch won’t help families keep the lights on or put food on the table, if they don’t have enough money in their pockets”.
FACT: A snickers bar, a curly wurly, a finger of fudge or a raw egg are not a substantial meal. Remember however that a Scotch egg was classified as a substantial meal[2] when Rishi Sunak wanted to encourage people to ‘eat out to help out’ in 2020. However the benchmark price of a Scotch egg in a pub is £5.00 and it would have to be consumed with a pint of beer to be considered a ‘substantial meal’. This is somewhat more than 30 pence.
FICTION: Various Tory MPs have started blaming Ukraine for food price rises, when, apart from just a few items, these price rises have not fed through the food chain at the time of writing in May 2022. Food inflation due to Brexit[3] accounts for some 6% and, in some areas such as meat, the rises have been substantial. It is despicable behaviour by Tory MPs to blame Ukraine but, of course, totally true to form to blame someone or something else.
FACT: By the same token, they have blamed oil and gas rises on Ukraine when these price rises were factored in before the invasion of Ukraine by Russia. In fact, money saving expert Martin Lewis[4] warned as early as late 2021 on the matter.
FICTION: Liz Truss has not so far recommended that the poor begin cooking their pets to cope with food poverty. Give her time. She did recently get her picture taken with Larry the cat, perhaps to improve her popularity with old ladies, or perhaps in preparation for Larry’s sacrifice at some point in the future.
FICTION: If Boris had written The F Plan diet, the word F would not have stood for fibre! Nor has Boris ever had a meal for 30 pence.
FACT: The recent emergency budget measures set out by Rishi Sunak will not address the needs of people at the edge of poverty through Brexit assisted price rises. It is yet another example of a ‘too little, too late’ strategy by the Conservative government.
FACT: Grilled wasps are neither tasty nor nutritious.
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