Some of you will have seen the famous film “12 angry men”. If you have not here is the plot in a few words from the official film description. Following the closing arguments in a murder trial, 12 members of the jury must deliberate. A guilty verdict would mean death for the accused, an inner-city teen. As the dozen men try to reach a unanimous decision while sequestered in a room, one juror (Henry Fonda) casts considerable doubt on elements of the case. Personal issues soon rise to the surface, and conflict threatens to derail the delicate process that will decide one boy’s fate. Through the process of dialogue and analysis Fonda convinces his fellow jurors to acquit the teenager against all the odds. The parallel questions here must be:
“Why are the Tories so angry?”
and
“Can anyone heal their regrets?”
From far right to right :
1. Steve Baker
Self-confessed hardman of Brexit who went soft as his dream melted away and under pressure from the many people who said he was delusional. Baker said he hadn’t felt happy since the Brexit vote, never mind the people who had to suffer from its death wave. Baker recently said that the 2016 referendum should have had a mandatory 60% majority for it to be a settled matter. This is polite parlance for the fact that Brexit has failed and we can and must join the EU anew.
2. Nadine Dorries
Monkey testicle eating Dorries now falls into the category of a woman scorned, after falling in love with Boris Johnson and having that love denied. This coincided with Johnson giving an honour to a 29 year old woman who bears an uncanny resemblance to Bojo rather than ‘Lady’ Dorries. Nadine more or less went on strike, failing to attend Parliament or do her constituency work for an extended period. She is no more, having been voted out of her Mid Bedfordshire constituency. Anger is too polite a word to describe Ms Dorries. Even local dad and police commissioner could not save her solid Tory constituency from falling in the recent by-election.
3. Penny Morduant
PM (Penny Morduant not Prime Minister) in waiting, Penny is angry because she was overlooked in the search for a Prime Minister in 2022, having been passed over for Liz Truss. Penny decided it was best to hold a sword for an hour to demonstrate the relevant competences for being PM (Penny Morduant not Prime Minister). PM has the unusual accolade of claiming military credentials in the Royal Navy, although it seems that all her experience with seamen was acquired on dry land. Another angry Brexiteer with several grudges, a sword and a desire to stand up and fight …
4. Douglas Ross
Scottish Conservatives leader. Yes it’s hard being a Conservative in Scotland as virtually everyone swears at you but Douggie has other reasons to be angry as well. Boris Johnson swore at him when Doug voted for Johnson to resign in 2022. Doug shouted Deputy First Minister of Scotland Shona Ross down when she called on Rishi Sunak to meet his commitments for net zero instead of watering them down. This is one of his regular behaviours in the Scottish Parliament. Don’t be like Doug.
5. Priti Patel
Priit Patel was once hailed as the most extreme Home Secretary of all time. Priti is angry because Suella Braverman has made her look like a member of the Cats’ Protection League when compared with Suella’s full fat Nazi style celebration of children drowning in small boats. One of the most vicious ‘immigrants turned racist’ in the Tory party, Priti remains popular due to her loyalty to Boris Johnson. Known for shouting and bullying staff, Priti waits in the wings ready to pounce on Rishi when the time is right. Check our remake of “Priti Woman” which satirises some of her most famous quotes. PG rated due to Matt Hancock in leg irons.
6. Liz Truss
What can one say? The woman who broke Britain with her version of hard Brexit economics in just 49 days with her partner in grime Kwasi Kwarteng. The cost of ‘Trussonomics‘ was an eye watering £60 billion, only eclipsed by the ongoing cost of Brexit which stands at £100 billion EVERY year. As if all this was not bad enough, Liz is undeterred and plans a comeback, saying that her wilful destruction of the country was “not understood by the markets”. The Truss has had some public speaking training recently. Since people are easily fooled by a slick presentation over content (see also Johnson for style over substance), we should be very afraid. Although The Truss started life as an anti-monarchist woke lefty liberal, she has now ‘manned up’ in support of cheese, Norfolk turkeys and the British apple. A stint on ‘Bakeoff’ seems more appropriate. Our song “more than enough” sums up The Truss well. Watch the video and buy the albums to support our independent journalism.
7. Boris Johnson
There are not enough column inches or time at the COVID enquiry to describe this man’s impact and catastrophic demise from his imposter position as PM. He said that Brexit could be microwaved when it was already burned. Brexit has given us a 4.5% hit to UK resilience. This is the equivalent of trying to swim the English Channel with a block of concrete around your neck. Johnson killed up to 40 000 vulnerable people through dither and delay and making decisions that were against the science. He allowed his mates to profit from COVID, even encouraged it. Eventually his party chums turned against him and he more or less had to be forcibly removed from No 10 Downing Street. Johnson’s attempted comeback was resisted by his party colleagues. He has now reversed into GB News so that he can snipe at Rishi Sunak from the sidelines.
8. Jacob Rees-Mogg
Having lined his pockets from Brexit, lied to the Queen and then reversed into being a paid hack for GB News, Jacob resigned from his position. This was probably because he regretted the reverse takeover of the British Empire by the Indians. Mogg is one of the few politicians who continues to stand by Brexit which he claims will offer immense opportunities sometime into the 23rd Century. Privately I suspect he is much less happy about the lack of divergence from EU laws 98% of which we helped to make. He will also be spooked by the paltry returns on our trade deals which are effectively ‘fire sales’ in our desperation to point to something positive about Brexit (See also Kemi Badenoch and CPTPP). This film is from 2018 when we ambushed Jake at BBC Question Time.
9. Suella Braverman
As stated previously, Suella has made Priti Patel look like Mother Theresa with her full fat fascist agenda to feed a few remaining gammon voters with live immigrant children. Braverman has recently tried to put thought crime on the statute book, by suggesting that anyone who uses the word Jihad on the street is a terrorist. Even Tory peer Baroness Warsi was moved to criticise Suella by pointing out that divide and rule tactics are themselves the tools of hate. Not content with trying to kill migrants on dangerous disease ridden prison ships and breaking international law, I imagine that Suella must have said “thank you God” when the Israeli – Palestinian conflict started. She has been quick to use the war to weaponise her own domestic agendas. It’s even more surprising as Braverman is herself a barrister at No 5 Silk Chambers (better suited to being a barrista). As most observers have stated, Suella’s bizarrely disturbed outlook on foreigners is probably rooted in some very dark experiences in childhood.
10. Richard Tice
Of course Tice is not a Tory, just a pound shop racist. Tice recently turned his hatred on Sadiq Kkan and ULEZ in a desperate move to find a new issue to enrage people with feeble minds. Nigel Farage is also searching for things to trigger his remaining following from Gammon Brexit (GB) News. Tice remains angry that he has not got the Brexit he wanted. But he still cannot describe the one he was looking for … No wonder Steve Baker is effectively saying that the referendum should be declared null and void. Tice is angry with the Tory party for being more fascist than his Brexit party aka Reframe UK.
11. Kemi Badenoch
Another PM hopeful, Badenoch has the dubious credentials of having done some of the most worthless Brexit trade deals on the planet via the CPTPP deal (worth 1/50th of what we had in the EU over 10 years at best and pushed through Parliament without a referendum). Although she was appointed by Truss, I suspect that this was Liz acting ‘to keep one’s enemies close’, as Badenoch is also popular with the Tory membership. Rishi has also kept her close, possibly because her nuclear levels of incompetence make Sunak look good. Incidentally, Badenoch stated that the CPTPP deal will only produce any benefit if we use it. So she’s already getting ready to say that the people thwarted her pathetic CPTPP deal.
No 12?
By this time, you may have worked out that there were only 11 angry people in the picture. So who is no 12? – Lee Anderson, Jonathan Gullis, Gove, Iain Duncan-Smith, Mark Francois, Esther McVey, Dehenna Davison, Liam Fox, Keegan, Coffey, Harper, Steve Barclay, the Tory rapists? There are so many to choose from. Usually a threat from outside is the stimulus for unity. Can Keir Starmer provide that threat? I think not since I find it increasingly difficult to find differences on policy between Labour and The Tories in many areas.
