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Brexit Wars

BREXIT WARS

It seems that we have reached the stage of the Brexit Wars. We knew it would come. This is the first time that a country has declared war on itself and Britain leads the world in this area. Here is our latest Daily Maul page on Brexit Wars, with a fact and fiction checker below, just in case you cannot tell the difference.

Click image to read our Brexit satire book on Amazon.

In case of doubt …

FICTION : Cod have not learned to speak, although they speak more sense than Boris Johnson when he says that The Royal Navy is to be converted to the Royal Fish Fingering Fleet in readiness for the Brexit Wars. I prepared a new advert for The Royal Navy to help them recruit First Fish Officers.

Brexit Wars
Cod Wars.

FACT : Scotch Egg sales have risen on an unprecedented basis.

FACT : Boris Johnson and David Frost did look like a sack of potatoes when they attended the dinner with Ursula Von der Leyen and Michel Barnier, who looked stylish. Even cats were dismayed at the contrast.

New Look for Johnson
The slobs formerly known as Frost and Johnson out vogued by some cats and some dignified leaders.

FACT : The Brexit Microwave deal has not been delivered. This was an election promise. For an explantion of how we got here in five minutes see “Brexit in five minutes”:

Talking Heads – Steve Peer interviews Peter Cook.

FICTION : Priti Patel is NOT re-enacting the Irish Potato Famine in practice. However, she is in principle by threatening trade wars.

FACT : Kent County Council is not ready for Brexit. Kent is set to become the Toilet of England. See our appearance on “Have I Got News For You”:

Watch Have I Got News For EU.

FACT : Matt Hancock stood alone in cabinet, asking for the COVID vaccine to be prioritised. Perhaps we should thank him for standing up to idiots and Dominic Cummings. We are not sure he actually cried as it seemed to be interspersed with laughter. The search for onions continues.

Tears of a clown.

FACT : No deal Brexit and a Brexit deal are virtually indistinguishable from a practical viewpoint. Brexit can be stopped or suspended if political will changes. See our interviews with MEPs.

Sajjad Karim, Conservative.
Molly Scott-Cato, Green.
Julie Ward, Labour.

Write to opposition MPs. Ask them to oppose all forms of Brexit. Silence is assent.

Brexit Wars. What are they good for? Absolutely nothing.

Huh !!
Cod in Bitter Sauce – Image Cold War Steve.
Looking after No 1

Looking after No 1

As Christmas comes, it is traditional to think of others rather than Looking after No 1. Selfishness or Looking after No 1 gave us Brexit. So, it warms my heart to discover that Dominic Cummings has taken a £45 000 pay rise. I imagine that this is a bonus for Dom’s “leadership” in breaking lockdown rules, by driving 500 miles to take an eyesight test. This, while Boris Johnson asks public sector workers to take a pay freeze. Yes, Dom deserves is £45 000 and the nurses, doctors, carers, council workers et al deserve nothing at all. Looking after No 1 really works.

Our remake of Durham Town. Poignant.

It’s even more gratifying to learn that Jacob Rees-Mogg, Minister for the 18th Century, has condemned UNICEF’s attempt look after others, after they tried to help the world’s most vulnerable children. I understand that Mr Mogg intends to start workhouses for these children rather than rely on handouts from damned charities.

Jacob is a disgrace.

Herd Immunity

As the COVID R rate for Britain rises to 1.1-1.2, it is heartwarming to learn that the virus does not visit Private schools. Eton College is closed but state schools remain open. I confidently predict that we are headed for another national lockdown to mask problems from “Getting Brexit Done”. Johnson may lack competence in many things but he is brilliant at Looking after No 1. Locking us down after Christmas and using the law to enforce the measures will ensure that people are unable or unwilling to protest or riot against Brexit.

Already, we have 20 mile queues in Kent on the roads. We are also told that the lorry parks promised by Kent County Council will not be ready for months, due to “unplanned rain”.

Operation Pisspot.
Have I Got News For You features “Operation Pisspot”.

Devaluation of the truth

We have also been let inside the not so secret recipes of the Conservative Party recently. Wellingborough Conservative Party advise that sometimes it’s better to lie quickly rather than tell the truth slowly. Does that accord with you to get on in life as part of Looking after No 1?

Is self interest our default position?

Can we not do better than this?

Keir Starmer must oppose Brexit.

Where is the opposition?

Keir Starmer appears to be following the lead of The Midwife of Brexit aka Jeremy Corbyn, by appearing to back a deal. There is no good Brexit deal and the will of the people has changed dramatically. At what point will he and Labour oppose the greatest disaster to face our children? When it’s too late?

Some other bugger’s fault

Looking after No 1 demands that everything is always someone else’s fault. As expected, Johnson continues to blame the European Union for Brexit. I mean, it’s obvious:

  • The Conservatives set the Brexit vote up to heal a problem of cohesion within their own party.
  • The plan failed. Brexit has consumed three Prime Ministers so far.
  • The concept of No Deal was invented a year after the vote was taken. It was never mentioned at the time of the referendum.
  • Various aspects of Brexit have been deemed illegal. These are clearly the fault of judges, doomsayers and snowflakes

All of the above is clearly the fault of The European Union and not the Conservative Party and those who were taken in my the lies. How could anyone think it was Britain that voted for Brexit?

The Blame Game
The Blame Game.

Brexit Means Brexit (still)

Everywhere I work, people are puzzled about why we are still pursuing this and I did this explainer video for our American friends the other week:

Season’s Brexit Greetings.

Enjoy spending your sovereignty this Christmas.

Infect a friend.

Looking after No 1 seems to be in vogue at this time. I am sure that karma will eventually kick in on this shower of liars, bullies and cheats. Britain was better than this … remember Live Aid?

Will the British people do the usual thing? To walk on by and ignore our sleepwalk into fascism? To moan about what happened AFTER it happened?

We can do better than this

Come out of the darkness

Into the light

Our requiem for Brexit. Please download the songs on Bandcamp.

The game has changed

The game has changed. Here’s a quick piece of Brexit analysis on the day that the world turned in on Trump and Brexit populism.

Johnson’s Brexit strategy has relied on the ability to bully Europe. Johnson has used the bargaining chip that Britain will become a rogue state on the edge of Europe with an Anglo-American trade deal. The game has changed …

NO LONGER APPLIES

Joe Biden has a long memory regarding Johnson’s attacks on Obama, women and ethnic minorities. The game has changed and the so called special relationship …

NO LONGER APPLIES

Johnson had relied on breaching The Good Friday Agreement and breaking international law to “Get Brexit Done”. The game has changed …

NO LONGER APPLIES

The EU has tried to accommodate Britain in Brexit negotiations, so as to maintain a sense of decency in world politics. This, despite the fact that Britain has not made any good faith attempts to negotiate. The game has changed …

NO LONGER APPLIES

True leadership.

Trump favoured UK in terms of doing a trade deal, as a means of pivoting against the EU. Biden’s appointment means that the EU’s main focus will now turn to America, rather than a small country in economic and social ruin. The game has changed …

NO LONGER APPLIES

True leadership.

We can no longer expect Trump to be focused on the UK and Brexit. His next two months will be fully occupied in fighting legal actions, making himself look even more foolish and gradually being ostracised by his allies. I imagine he will spend a lot of time on the golf course. Perhaps a slot on “I’m a failed celebrity, get me out of here”. The game has changed …

NO LONGER APPLIES

In conclusion, the game has changed and …

BREXIT NO LONGER APPLIES

Take Action

Write to your MP and demand that they oppose the toxic combination of Corona + Brexit – sample letters below.

Write to the press with the same ambition.

Write to EU leaders and encourage them to hold firm on Brexit negotiations now that Johnson is alone.

Please read Brexit Choices and Suspended Animation.

Johnson – alone again naturally
Betrayed by Brexit Johnson
Dry your populist tears Johnson

Sample Letters to MP’s – TY Rachel Ashley and Catherine Reynolds

Dear xxx,

Given the Biden victory, would you now agree that a two year extension to the transition period is probably wise, to allow Britain to cope with the COVID crisis?

Yours sincerely

Dear xxx

I see your government has done another u-turn on free school meals in the holidays for hungry children. Surely this is getting embarrassing for MP’s such as yourself, who support the government one week only for the Executive to do a u-turn the following week (or so). This looks like a failure of leadership to me.

I assume this was announced yesterday because most of the world of the world was watching Joe Biden defeat Donald Trump in the USA Presidential election. However President elect Biden’s stance on Brexit is well-known. He thinks the UK is following a foolish and divisive line which has the potential to severely damage Anglo-Irish relations and undermine the Good Friday Agreement. He has said more than once the USA will not trade with the UK if it breaks the Good Friday Agreement. It is telling that when asked by a BBC journalist if he had anything to say to the BBC he said ‘I am Irish’.

I ask you to reconsider your position. Brexit is going to add considerably more damage to the British economy at a time when it is massively struggling under the economic pressure caused by COVID. I am aware the PM Johnson was in talks with the President of the European Commission yesterday and I assume that is to try and cobble together some sort of deal for Mr Johnson to then sell to the British people as the best deal ever when we all know that at best it will give Britain a few crumbs from the EU table and will still cause, what could turn out be, irreparable damage to the British economy with no hope in the short or medium term of even the semblance of a deal with the USA to mitigate a small part of the damage.

I am therefore asking you to put Britain first and to put pressure on the Executive to go to the European Council and ask for Brexit to be suspended for 2 years with Britain still in transition mode. Your current leader should have no difficulty in doing another u-turn to achieve this as he is very used to doing them. A two year suspension of Brexit will give your Party time to sort out what is clearly a failure of leadership and the Government time to get control of how the country can begin to live with the COVID 19 virus without severely damaging either the economy or the health of the nation.

Yours sincerely

Changing Minds on Brexit

Changing Minds on Brexit

The aftermath of the Trump election shows us that we still have a long way to go in order to lead with truth, transparency and humility in a troubled world. In the UK, Boris Johnson is copying Trump’s design, by escalating his false promises, blame and lies to nuclear levels. “Operation Moonshot” has just failed to deliver. Christmas is almost certainly cancelled. Johnson continues to blame others for our Government’s continual “Cake and Eat it too” approach to Brexit negotiations. Changing Minds on Brexit on an industrial scale will be required if we are to return towards trust in politics and politicians. In this context I intend to serialise some chapters of my book “Let’s Talk About BREX..it“.

A successful Brexorcism takes skill, patience and time. Here is the preface to the book:

Why I wrote this book

I was in my late 50’s when Brexit began.  I am now over 60 and although Brexit is “in the microwave, gas mark four”, it is still far from done, some would say overdone.  Brexit will probably come undone in the coming year one way or another.  Speaking personally, Brexit will not affect me positively or negatively.  Outside my anti-Brexit life, I am an author, business consultant, speaker and knowledge worker who has always traded on a worldwide basis. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ll be in a shallow grave by the time that any of the supposed Brexit benefits materialise.  Even 18th Century retro-Latin imperialist adventure capitalist Jacob Rees-Mogg said that we will get nothing back from Brexit for 50 years … I’m impatient in the age of Corona … not for myself, but for future generations.

Setting Brexit and Corona aside for a moment, we are merely responsible landlords of planet earth. If we do well in our lives, our aim should be to leave the planet in a better state that when we arrived.  If the nature of our life and work does not allow us to answer that call, we must at least be guided by the principle of “do no harm.”  We owe it to our children, their kids and the planet to do our best and stand up to those who would do harm in pursuit of narrower and more destructive goals.  Brexit is a narrow ambition that would continue England’s love affair with disaster capitalism, lower standards of environmental stewardship and increased carbon footprints from more global trading.  This is all happening at a time when the drive to solve world problems requires greater levels of collaborative leadership and co-dependency.  Complex world problems require joined up thinking instead of splendid isolation and “I’m alright Jack and Jill” behaviours.

This requires us to continue the conversation with leave voters and, of course, Remainers, some of whom now have terminal Brexit apathy.  These difficult conversations are made even more difficult when we currently must conduct them using socially distanced means.  This book equips you with strategies, skills and stories to help you have these difficult conversations.  A mind shift requires skill, patience and time.  Over thousands of hours of fieldwork, it becomes apparent that, sometimes you need several sittings with your chosen subject, client or victim.  The book provides a compendium of support with skill and patience.  It will also help you use your precious time to greater impact.

Grab a copy of Let’s Talk About Brex..it on Amazon – click the review

Human beings have achieved great things for the planet.  Sadly the human condition also includes a few human faults.  Greed, avarice, ego and so on.  We have witnessed it most recently in the fanatical stockpiling of toilet rolls amidst the Corona crisis. It means we think short term, sometimes selfishly and nostalgically. Crucially we don’t always realise that we are in this together with our neighbours and others we share this fragile earth with.  As far as I know, earthworms, hydrangeas and molluscs do not share the faults of the “human race.”  It is perhaps time to stop racing and trying to Trump each other, to consider what we can learn from the rest of the animal and plant kingdom.  After all, we are allegedly more intelligent than snails …  We must learn to be responsible custodians of planet earth.  Brexit threatens to isolate Britain in a world that desperately needs more collaboration and co-operation.  Worse still, Brexit takes Scotland, Northern Ireland and some parts of Wales and England down with it.  To what purpose?  I am still waiting for answers.

You may be asking yourself “Surely it is too late to stop Brexit?  A piece of paper was signed on 31 January 2020 so isn’t it all done now?”  I will work through the arguments as to why Brexit can be stopped later in this book.  However, some Remainers suffer from what psychologists call “Learned Helplessness”?  This is the condition where people believe that there is nothing they can do to alter the course of Brexit or that they should not interfere, due to faux notions of “democracy” or “the will of the people”.  In other words “we can’t do anything” and “we must not do anything”.  My own brother who voted to Remain is part of what the Rt Hon Ken Clarke calls the “indifferent majority” and has quoted “the will of the people”.  In truth he is fearful of the far right and it’s easier to comply rather than resist.  Whilst I completely understand his position and that of others like him, such people are an absolute danger to the resolution of such problems.  I am quite sure that the vast majority of the German people did not think that Mr Hitler would do anything awful in 1938.  Some simply looked away.  Simply stated, silence is assent. 

Taking first the issue of feeling there is nothing that can be done to change things, this is fundamentally untrue.  This book offers a wide palette of things we can do.  At the highest levels of thinking, quite simply, Brexit is a political process and not a legal one. All that is needed at the basic level would be an e-mail to cancel it, followed by a lot of grovelling in private, probably the fall of the prevailing Government or certainly the key players.   Eventually a lengthy public process would be created and some “ceremony” to allow us to rejoin the EU or simply not to leave.  However, this “christening ceremony” would almost certainly be followed by “terms and conditions”, based on the fact that our Brexit belligerence has been largely informed by decades of the UK “having its cake and eat it too” aka getting its own way on things like Shengen, the Euro etc.

On the question of “should we interfere?” this again is a simple matter to debunk. Democracy informed by gross lies on the NHS, immigration etc. targeted Facebook ads, overspending on election campaigns are not the high-water marks of democracy. In any case, some four years on, the demographics of Brexit have altered considerably with approximately 1.5 million leave voters having spun off this mortal coil and 1.7 million young people becoming eligible to vote, creating a significant shift on the “will of the people”.  As I write this update, it rather seems that these demographics are likely to be disproportionately affected by Boris Johnson’s Corona Cull of older voters.  In any case, “Generation Greta”, above all else, understand our connectedness and co-dependency.

The other question that should be troubling you some four years later is the one that asks the Buzzcocks’ Brexit question “What do I get?”.  Perhaps we don’t ask the question in a selfish way, but nonetheless it becomes relevant to ask what benefits are on offer to our fellow citizens if we are to endure some 50 years of pain to get there.  It is a question I’ve asked tirelessly during thousands of hours of street encounters and one I still cannot get any sensible answers on from the common man or woman.  The best I have had in recent times came from the man who wanted to leave the EU so that he could land a 5 lb bass from the Swale in Kent and the other man who was willing to throw all the benefits of EU membership away because he personally thought that garlic was used too much in the local cafes and restaurants.

Changing Minds on Brexit
Click on the image to view the follow up volume on Amazon.

Brexit is, at one level, a gross example of selfishness, greed and avarice by a few disaster capitalists.  These people have successfully persuaded the masses that Brexit will be good for them, although the mounting body of evidence suggests otherwise.  The Dunning Kruger effect and misplaced pride prevent some leave voters from admitting that Brexit will not deliver any of the supposed benefits we were mis-sold so slickly and compellingly.  This plays out daily via snappy catchphrases such as “Take Back Control”, “Brexit Means Brexit”, “Pop Brexit in the microwave”, “Let’s get Brexit done” etc.  Feelings overwhelm facts in the tsunami of data that arrives daily across our TV screens, computers and smartphones.  In the words of XTC “Senses Working Overtime”.

The information age is also in part responsible for the Brexit vote.  Aside from interference in the voting process by Cambridge Analytica and underground targeted Facebook ads, another effect is in play here.  We receive some 34 GB of data daily.  This more than the average person received in their entire life in 1800.  Quite naturally the response to “drowning in data” in some cases is to shut down from information overload altogether.  Nigel Farage understood this well, when he asked the nation to vote with their hearts and not their heads after we were numbed senseless by data.

I originally titled this book “The Brexit Monologues.”  Why a monologue I hear you say?  Surely a conversation is a dialogue?  Well some of the conversations I’ve had with some hardcore leave voters have been monologues.  In other words they simply wish to unload their “story” on me before there is any possibility of a dialogue.  I have had literally thousands of conversations with Brexiteers in cafés, bars and on the street. Listening skills do not usually begin until I have invested sufficient time and energy in understanding their viewpoints, however much I may disagree with them.  It is also essential to establish a platform of expertise and some basic trust if they are to listen to you in preference to their own trusted advisor, whether that is Nigel Farage or the bloke in the pub.  Why exactly should they wish to listen to me anyway?  Many of them simply want to download their concerns, issues and fantasies about Brexit and their feelings of being left behind.  In listening to these people, I have found that these monologues are actually quite revealing.  At the same time, some level of change can occur by simply allowing these people to vent their feelings of rage, disappointment, and regret about their lives.  Occasionally and usually after a degree of patient listening, it is possible to separate their feelings from the causes of these feelings.  In other words to separate their regrets from the fact that the EU is not the root cause of their regrets.  Once we achieve this, we have the possibility for what I term a “Brexorcism”, in other words a shift in their beliefs about the world and about Brexit in particular.

Brexorcism
Click the image to find the book.

Changing Minds on Brexit provides strategies, skills and stories to help you change minds, whilst helping you to look after yourselves in the process.  I use the word Brexorcism not because I’m expecting you to throw holy water at your subjects!  Nor do I expect you to have to deal with people whose heads and viewpoints rotate 360 degrees.  We are generally dealing with quasi-religious beliefs or even identity level change, where Brexit is intimately linked with people’s sense of self, Queen, country and flag.  When we engage with a leave voter, we are sometimes challenging people at the level of who they are or the very why of their being.  This requires skill, time, patience and flexibility on our part. 

The book also helps with healing the divides that Brexit has set up on our DIsUnited Kingdom, whether family, friend or community based.

This book is not just about Brexit ghostbusting.  Where Brexit leads, Trump, Erdogan and others follow.  Just as sure as ladies’ hemlines rise and fall for no particular reason with the whims of fashion every year, populism and the rise of the far right in difficult times are also fashion statements that others follow.  So, you will find this book of immense value if you are trying to fight populism anywhere in the world.  

On New Year’s Day 2017 I coined the catchphrase “Break Brexit Before Brexit Breaks Britain” in the shower.  I note this has been adopted and adapted quite widely.  I recently realised that it needed updating. On New Year’s Day 2019 I came up with a new mantra which remains relevant:

“We seek a Better Britain in a Better Europe for a Better World.”

I coined this phrase on New Year’s Day 2018. It’s still relevant.

We are all in this together and it is about time we woke up to the fact.  We can no longer live in unsplendid isolation in the 4th industrial age.  Yes, we need to reform our politics and the very notions of capitalism if we are to survive.  But turning our backs on problems and opportunities that we face as a global village is not a sensible response.

I hope this gives some clues as to why you might want to read the book … read on …

Take Action

Write to your MP and demand that they oppose the toxic combination of Corona + Brexit

Write to the press with the same ambition

Jacob’s Crackers

In this roundup of Jacob’s Crackers, we chart the unprecedented developments in our Government’s idiotic approach to Brexit, COVID and Trump. I am finding it very difficult to distinguish satire from reality, as Boris Johnson lurches from the COVID car crash to our Britastrophe in waiting …

Write to your MP

Ask that Brexit be suspended in the wake of Corona

Thank The Lords

The House of Lords firmly rejected the idea of breaking international law in order to “Get Brexit Done”. Johnson’s response? “Carry On Breaking The Law”. The likely outcome? Britain will be twinned with North Korea as a rogue state. The EU and US will treat Britain accordingly.

Trust is essential

Jacob's Crackers
Trust is essential for all trade and business – The UK is not trustworthy

Write to members of the House of Lords – Point out that the internal markets bill was NOT a manifesto promise and therefore it is perfectly reasonable for the House of Lords to continue to oppose it.

World Beating COVID deaths

Once again, we lead Europe with COVID deaths, due to our “too little, too late’ approach”. This Twitter thread sums up the problems:

Please Retweet this and related tweets. Tweet your MP with a personal message about #suspendbrexit. Hold their feet to the fire.

Rats deserting the sinking ship

If the COVID deaths were not bad enough, it seems that Downing Street is more concerned with petty power squabbles between Dominic Cummings, his cronies and Boris’ girlfriends. Whitehall is now occupied by a large number of Vote Leave cronies and we await the departure of Dominic Cummings and our idiot negotiator David Frost, following Lee Kane’s departure last night. Watch Channel 4 News last night to find out more:

Since this time cronyism has gone from bad to worse under Johnson. It has continued under Truss and Sunak.

To learn more about cronyism in Whitehall check out My Little Crony by Sophie Hill

Old Durham Town remade in our studio.

IBS – Irritable Brexit Syndrome

If all of the above were not enough to make you think that we have lost control of our senses, swivel eyed loons John Redwood and, not IBS, but IDS (Iain Duncan Smith) have pointed out that Britain is bigger than the US. They have also told Joe Biden had better watch his step if he wants to get a trade deal with Britain. Texas and California are bigger than the US geographically, never mind the economy. The US economy is 20 x larger than the UK economy. For the avoidance of doubt:

Size matters

Jacob's Crackers
Size is important – we are 40 x smaller than the US.
John Redwood “Mine’s bigger than yours” Retweet and share to your MP
Retweet please

Citizens of Nowhere

Boris Johnson and Priti Patel scraped the bottom of the barrel by claiming that ending our freedom of movement was somehow a great triumph, whilst trying to pretend that the matter does not apply to British people. Johnson seems to have forgotten that he said exactly the opposite when he was seeking people’s votes for Brexit. In the words of Johnny Rotten:

Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?

We are all Citizens of Nowhere. Download In Limbo from our Bandcamp site.

Oh Brexit, up yours

In case you had forgotten, there’s a thing called Brexit looming. It turns out that 90% of UK trade is not covered by free trade deals after Brexit. So, when Johnson says Get Ready For Brexit, he means himself.

Oh yes, and the hauliers’ guidebook to handle border confusion has been delayed until after Brexit has happened. Presumably this is to give Dominic Cummings more time to appoint more cronies or indulge in a mud wrestling match with Carrie Symonds. Best get more of those portaloos in Kent, Sussex and Surrey …

Flush Brexit
Flush Brexit.

English exceptionalism continues to dominate our Brexit negotiations, in stark contrast to the EU’s organised and transparent processes to democracy:

An honorable man.

Bunkering down

If Jacob’s crackers, all the while, Johnson continues to self isolate from the truth about COVID and Brexit, Trump is also bunkering down, whilst he makes a new series of “Borat” with Rudy Giuliani. Sadly his tweet was deleted …

Jacob's Crackers
Crushed by Victoriana – Jacob’s crackers.
Paul McCartney meets Jacob at a Queen Concert.

Read our satirical front pages of The Sun, Maul, Excess

TAKE ACTION – SuspEND Brexit

Subscribe to Re-Boot Britain
Subscribe to Reboot Britain – we cannot continue without support
Brexit Self Isolation

Brexit Self-Isolation

In today’s spoof edition of the Sun, it’s hard to tell satire from reality as Johnson retreats from criticism of his handling of Carrie, Cummings, Corona and the ongoing Britastrophe from the toxic cocktail of Brexit + Corona. This Brexit self isolation is not really good enough, especially as it seems he broke lockdown rules to meet one of his MPs.

Brexit Self-Isolation
Nut Nuts – Read all the editions by clicking on “The Sun”

In case you are not sure which is the fake news and which is real, here is a guide:

Belgium did win the football match 2 – Nil. The playing field was level, unlike our approach to Brexit negotiations, where we want want to kick the ball into the goal whilst the other side are off the pitch.

Johnson did meet with an MP last week, breaking lockdown and causing his Brexit Self Isolation. There was no reason why he could not have done this remotely. It seems very convenient, as it means he gets to avoid questions about Cummings going, Christmas, COVID and the tragic state of Brexit negotiations which climax this Friday. Remember a Brexit deal is WORSE than no deal in terms of the long term future for our children. See Brexit Choices.

Carrie Symonds texts Johnson 20 times a day whilst he is trying to run the country. We now have reached the Eva Braun / Linda Mc Cartney / Yoko Ono / Princess Nut Nut moment of English democracy, where the will of the people has been replaced by the whim of the blonde bimbo Boris.

There is no medical virus called Brexitosis. However, it becomes clear that Brexit has now occupied the minds of a few swivel eyed loons in the ERG, whilst the vast majority of the British public are bored rigid by Brexit and want Brexit flushed down the pan.

Nigel Farage has not shit in his own backyard, yet, although Nige has dumped Brexit on the people who voted for him, as a steaming turd.

Johnson did say F..ck Business. This is the new Tory party. Can you really approve of someone who does this?

Mark Francois is still missing in action. What can be wrong? Write to Mark and wish him a speedy recovery.

We do believe that Larry the cat’s box was stolen by Cummings. Sources close to No 10 suggest that Larry was the only “person” who was not taken in by Cummings’ lies. Tweet Larry on the matter:

Take Action

Write to your MP and demand that they oppose the toxic combination of Corona + Brexit

Write to the press with the same ambition

Write to EU leaders and encourage them to hold firm on Brexit negotiations now that Johnson is alone

Join our ABV-20 (Anti-Brexit Virus-20) Super Spreaders group to increase our footprint on social media

Subscribe to Re-Boot Britain
Subscribe to Re-Boot Britain – we cannot continue without support – Click on the image
Alone again naturally – Boris Johnson.
Get Ready for the Brexit Wars

Get Ready for The Brexit Wars

In case you are unaware occasionally we parody the immense stupidity and lies from populist newspapers. Here is today’s edition as we get ready for the Brexit wars. This includes some fact checking below, just in case you are unable to separate Brexit fact from fiction.

Get Ready for The Brexit Wars
Click on the Maul to read our political satire Private Eyelines.

Fact and Fiction Checker

Conservative MP George “Useless” Eustace told farmers to switch from Sheep to Cows in the wake of almost certain bankruptcy in the face of 35% tariffs on Lamb. Useless Eustace also told Danish firm Lurpak to move production of their butter to Britain. Sadly Lurpak pointed out that it would be illegal. In any case, why would they wish to locate themselves in Brexit Britain?

Boris Johnson has suggested that Parliament will not have time to approve a Brexit deal. So, when he said “Take Back Control”, he meant for himself rather than Parliament or the People. In the words of Johnny Rotten:

Ever got the feeling you’ve been cheated?

Farmers fear that the turkeys they are rearing will be too big for Christmas. Some (turkeys, not farmers) have in fact been put on diets.

Johnson has summoned up more jingoistic rhetoric about war with his announcement of more money for our military. This amounts to more distraction from COVID and Brexit. And like most of Johnson’s announcements, it’s not quite what it seems …

Common sense reflection.

Minister for the 18th Century, Jacob Rees-Mogg did quote Caractacus on Parliament the other day, but did not make an explicit connection between Rolf Harris and his song The Court of King Caractacus. Unfortunately many other people did. Jake deleted his tweet so you cannot reply to him.

Meanwhile, it has been reported that 62% of British people now want to stay in the EU. 60% of people feel that the EU has handled the pandemic well.

Please click the image to support our work.

In the ultimate irony, it seems that “forins” will be manning the border posts if Brexit proceeds. They very thing that Brexiteers wanted will not come to pass and they will have their blue passports inspected by Romanians and Indians. Oh, the joy on their faces!

A book on Brexit has been released. Entitled “The Benefits of Brexit“. The book contains 234 BLANK pages. Some Brexiteers are outraged, having bought the book to find it devoid of inspiration. Here’s my review:

Click image to read our books on Brexit. They have words and pictures.

If you want a good book on how to have difficult conversations about Brexit around the Slimfast Christmas Turkey, please find our books on Brexorcism on Amazon.

Take action

Write to MPs and the European Union. Ask them to help Suspend Brexit in the wake of Corona.

Read our article on Suspending Brexit and share widely.

Get ready for the Brexit Wars … here’s an echo of what Johnson has created …

Which side are you on?

Banana Republic

Written by a former Conservative Councillor from Tunbridge Wells.

“I didn’t leave the party. The party left me”

In last week’s article on negotiations with the EU we showed that it was  Johnson’s regime which had acted in bad faith up to now.  One aspect of the level playing field, state aid, needs to be looked at further. Here, negotiator Frost enlarges on his usual mantra about Britain being an independent country by insisting that it is therefore entitled to spend its own money as it wishes. But there are limits to this seemingly reasonable argument.

As individuals, we all have the  right to spend our  money as we wish. However, if we do so in a way that gives us unfair advantages over our neighbours and damages them, we should not expect favours from them in return and may face retaliation. 

In the case of state aid, Frost is actually demanding a more favourable position for Britain than we had as an EU member. 

This is not reasonable.

It does not represent the spirit of Britain in terms of fair play. It is more like Trump’s spoilt child approach.

Click on the image to view last week’s post.

As a member of the EU, we had freedom from tariffs and quotas and had access to the single market. In kind we were expected to comply with EU state aid rules. These ban state aid to attract investment (except in development areas). Now we are demanding these advantages plus the right to offer state aid without limit. This is a benefit which even member states are not allowed to grant to their firms. 

It is hardly surprising that this unreasonable demand is a sticking-point for the  EU.

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Particularly, since the UK was the top recipient in the EU of overseas investment until very recently. This is no longer so, thanks to Brexit. It could be retrieved if negotiations were not blocked by the inept negotiation skills and the hubris of Frost and the rest of Johnson’s regime.

Instead, however, the Government proceeds with the Internal Market Bill. This contains clauses contrary to the EU Withdrawal Agreement, Johnson’s General Election promises on Brexit. The bill also breaks international law.

Well worth your time.

Tory MPs have deflected the issue by referring to a vague EU threat to block the sale of  British agricultural products within the EU. They claim:

“This would prevent the transfer of animal products from Great Britain to Northern Ireland under the Northern Ireland Protocol.”

However, no information has been given as to who made this threat, whether it has formal status and the forum in which it was made. Without such details, it is doubtful if this threat was ever made at all, given this government’s record of lies.

The real Boris Johnson

The Johnson regime also lists scenarios in which the Bill’s illegal provisions would be used. These assume bad faith or unreasonable actions by the EU, and are highly provocative and self-defeating. This game of chicken has provoked the expected reaction from any organisation who is threatened by criminals. In other words, the initiation of legal action against the UK for breaking international law.

Ursula von der Leyen speaks the truth

It is Britain, not the EU, which has acted in bad faith. We continue to do so, notably by the mere act of passing an illegal Bill through Parliament. 

Write to your MP. Ask them to suspend Brexit on Monday 5th October via Halt Brexit.

Adrian Ekins-Daukes plans to lead Re-Boot Britain in order to boot Tories out of Local Government in the 2021 elections.

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In case of doubt, Boris Johnson’s statement about bananas was a big fat LIE.

Brexit is bananas – not straight

Brexit Choices for a Better Britain

As negotiations reach another hiatus, it’s a good idea to remind people that Brexit is not inevitable now that less than 37% of people still think that Brexit is a good idea. Here are the Brexit Choices for a Better Britain open to us at the moment.

Brexit Choices for a Better Britain
By the way “probability” is perhaps better expressed as “betting odds” – the numbers do not add up to 100% of course

In case people don’t understand why the EU cannot just give the UK what they want, consider the EU as a golf club with 28 members. One does not want to pay the subscriptions but still wants to use the club for gala dinners, special events and demands a free set of golf clubs every year without paying. The head of the golf club must decline. If he says yes, he will face a backlash from the other 27 paying members who will also want a rebate or more services for less money. The primary job of an enterprise is to protect its members and, regardless of our belligerence in the talks, The EU must set this aside and protect the greater good of the union.

We also have an unlikely ally on our side in the form of Theresa May at the moment, who has rebelled on several occasions taking others with her:

“I might have thought the government would have abandoned algorithms by now.”

We also heard how the Tory party abandoned Conservatism last week.

In case of doubt as to how these evaluations were arrived at, please read the associated articles:

Suspend Brexit

The Rejoin Unicorn

Brexit Choices for a Broken Britain
Death is guaranteed

Take Action

Report MP’s for breaking international law.

Write to your MP and ask them to make Better Brexit Choices for a Better Britain, by opposing reckless behaviour by the Cabinet.

Brexit Choices for a Better Britain

Populism will eat itself

More like this at Private Eyelines
The Son

Remember, the withdrawal agreement was a 2019 ELECTION PROMISE. It’s not even a year on and Johnson has broken his marriage vows, his election promises and caused at least 30 000 unnecessary deaths. Are you still happy about this?

Write to your MP and demand that Boris admits that he lied to win the election. Ask them to oppose Johnson’s reckless Brexit.