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Category: Economics

Grass

Grassroots shoots

Don Adamson writes in his inimitable style from Yorkshire.

This week’s quotes: “Thick Lizzie is putting herself in a dangerous position … least experienced cabinet team the UK has had for decades (Comment after 12 years in office) … she will need every bit of Civil Service buy in she can get …Any efforts to introduce yes men will just drain the Civil Service of competent staff …  … when Jacob Rees Mogg was supposedly in charge of public sector efficiency … incessantly wailing about civil servants not being at their desks while failing to notice that due to sell off of buildings there were not enough desks for civil servants to be at … Thick Lizzie’s moves are fundamentally unfair …  crisis in the National Health Service is well known …  calls for an independent enquiry (Comment: in Booming Brexit Britain an ‘independent enquiry is one that obeys Rupert Murdoch’s orders) … services unsafe as doctors struggle with huge workloads … no hope of building the promised 48 new hospitals … new Chancellor has admitted that any gas produced by fracking would not reduce costs for UK consumers … If he does not understand measures in his own price package what hope is there? …24 hours is maximum waiting time to file past body of the Queen … 40 hours waiting time endured by woman needing ambulance and hospital treatment … Thick Lizzie’s rusty Reaganomics … transplanting a 40 year old economic policy from USA to UK will not work … President brushed aside the contradictions … Thick Lizzie’s attempts to emulate the Gipper’s success is doomed …  Thick Lizzie’s cheerleaders have read only the first part of the history of Reagonomics …  early record was mixed … did not stop a recession … inflation rose … the result will be more conflict between monetary and fiscal policy … risk that inflation becomes entrenched … business leaders are warming to Labour … businesses despair of the Tory Party … after 12 years in office and four radically different PMs the Tories can hardly promise that Johnson’s tenure was especially shambolic … a suspicion that policy is being driven by ideological reflexes … Thick Lizzie’s approach worries firms … as for Jacob Rees-Mogg as business secretary, ‘I could think of a worse choice but you would have to give me an hour … NHS treats its workers so badly they are leaving … struggle to plan holidays … it is bonkers … the whole kit and caboodle of NHS employment is utterly Kafkaesque … working in an organisation that is indifferent to their needs … NHS can be a strikingly uncaring employer … The city is fighting to carve out a post Brexit role … 7,000 jobs, and £1.3Trillion of assets were lost from a sector that employs 1.1m … international firms opening a European hub prefer Amsterdam or Luxembourg … LSE’s importance as an equity hub has dwindled … in 2006 it raised 18% of global capital … in the first half of 2022 less than 1% … A wholesale repeat of the City’s post war reinvention remains out of reach …  boosting the economy while ignoring environmental harm would be bonkers … keeping the heat on has replaced flying as an aspiration … Politicians of all stripes console themselves with the thought that Brits voted to leave the EU because they were misled by other, less upstanding politicians. ‘Nobody voted to be poorer’ runs the refrain. A scarier possibility is that people knew perfectly well what they voted for. Brexit will create a smaller economy but voters did not care … Thick Lizzie resembles a neo-liberal Kamikaze pilot, prepared to blow herself up for her cause …. The mad scientists … an experiment to test the riskiest of trickle down fantasies … It seems we have been misled … all we have needed all along was for the government to give vast amounts of money to the rich and wait for it to somehow boost the economy …Established economic theories and fact based research have disappeared a naysayer in a photograph of Stalin … all previous Tory governments have been left wing dupes … how doing nothing is supposed to increase growth is a mystery … this government will just find the money elsewhere …  many things about this budget do not make sense … will cost the treasury a fortune … no additional growth, just a lower tax take … Cutting red tape is a right wing panacea, the kind prompted by snake oil sellers … the details are shocking … Justice system, social care, ambulance services and NHS are already on their knees … none of these measures likely to increase growth at all … a right wing wet dream … without even a semblance of an effort to make the numbers add up, no  wonder the Office for Budget Responsibilities has been gagged … terrible news for those with mortgages (Comment: Daily Mail readers will love that) … right wing commentators in the press are praising it to the skies, but ignore these and read their financial pages instead … a right wing fantasy, an ideologically driven experiment to stuff the mouths of the rich with gold … it is betting with borrowed money that nobody knows how to repay … schoolboy errors … put the UK economy at risk … Kwarteng has always been a high risk appointment … too casual … too enamoured of his own intellect … a cabinet determined by loyalty to Truss rather than competence … in the space of four days three decades of sound economic management have gone up in smoke … pound suffered a rout … cartoon Thatcherism … Millwall strategy (no one likes us, we don’t care) is hardly a serious approach … Kwarteng, like the Bourbons has learned nothing and forgotten nothing …  betrayed weakness not strength …,It is a fantasy to pretend that Britain can ignore the trend … a grab bag of ideas, poorly presented …it makes you wonder if Thick Lizzie is an undercover agent for the Bring Back Boris campaign … smug, cruel, arrogant, know it all ideologies …f*** the lot of you … failings of a wasted decade … sounds like insider trading … if it had happened under a Labour government the papers would have played merry hell … the money markets have made it clear they have no faith in Trussonomics … detestable characters in the Johnson resignation honours list … there are claims that Nadine Dorries knowingly misled Parliament …

Pip Pip             Medway Delta (Retired)           Saboteur and Brexorcist First Class 

Editor’s footnote: since Don wrote this, another Tory MP has been fired …

Liz Truss

Do you trust Truss?

As Liz Truss becomes more desperate to win the election, her measures become more desperate.  But the Janusian confusion in “Trussian” thinking continues.  The key question is “Do you trust Truss?” We depicted the question in the Queen song “Now I’m here” in the attached video “The Two Minds of Liz Truss”.  Famously, Freddie Mercury sings “Now I’m here” from one side of the stereo field and “Now I’m there” from the other side.  Truss is all over the place – even surround sound could not cover Truss’ ever changing moods !! 

We made the video to leaven Truss’ chances of winning.  A Prime Minister with no real majority will find it hard to enact radical policies and the ideal ironic election result would be 52 : 48.

Please like and share the video:

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God Save The Queen

God save the Queen

Click to Reboot Britain

God save the Queen from Boris Johnson, Brexit and Prince Andrew. Our latest edition of ‘The Son’ previews a weekend of flagshagging. Just in case you are confused, here is a fact and faction decoder:

FACT: There have been bunting shortages[1] for the jubilee!  It does not come from the EU though as intimated in some circles …

FICTION: A pint is not 562 ml.  It is 568.26125 ml.  Millilitres are not the product of EU law but the result if SI units.  Lions are not English even though they appear on t-shirts.  FACT: A pint is not a standard measure as a US pint is not the same as a UK pint with a US pint coming in at 473 ml.  The obsession of the British government with imperial measures is simply another piece of ‘red meat’ to feed to Brexit voters at the jubilee!

FICTION: Sue Gray has never appeared in Eastenders, nor have the Mitchell brothers removed her organs in an East End styled murder.  We are pretty sure that Boris Johnson would have her removed if he thought he could get away with the dirty deed however.

FACT: Priti Patel has not ordered teachers to bear arms in schools as yet.  Give her time …

FACT: Liverpool football fans were held up at Dover for hours[2], as Brexit border controls started to bite hard.  Is this what you voted for when he said we would be “taking back control of our borders”?

FACT: Boris Johnson has cancelled the part of the Ministerial code that holds him responsible if he breaks the law.  The law literally no longer applies to him.  Is this what you voted for when he said we would be “taking back control of our laws”?  Priti Patel continues to try to cancel refugees through sponsored drowning and sending to re-education camps in Rwanda.  Culture secretary Nadine Dorries is trying to cancel culture.  It’s all a bit Reginald Perrin really.  If the going gets tough, Kim Jon Bojo will likely cancel general elections.

FACT: Quite subtlely, Conservative ministers have started to blame Ukraine for domestic problems when the feed through to our economy is largely not related to problems in Ukraine as yet. Rishi Sunak did it at the so-called emergency budget on 26 May 2022 by stating that 80% of our problems were ‘global’.  Horseshit.  Brexit has made an impact of some 4-5% on inflation, all of this man-made and therefore avoidable.  Lee Anderson inferred that the poor were to blame for poverty.  Subtle mentions of Africa in relation to Monkeypox cement the idea that the disease has an ethnic component for feeble racist minds.

FACT: Ireland is not to blame for Brexit.  It is wholly the product of our own government.  We own it.  It’s ours.  100%. Priti Patel has used the spectre of a repeat of the Irish potato famine[3] to feed weak English minds and distract them from the plain facts of Brexit.

God save the Queen from Johnson! Download Prince Andrew is a Sweaty Nonce to tell Boris Johnson and Justin Welby that child abuse is NOT OK. Mumsnet ate Boris Johnson for breakfast the other day. Our analysis of the encounter via the medium of “Just a Minute” follows.

Well worth your time

[1] Bunting shortages www.theguardian.com/business/2022/may/27/bunting-shortage-looms-as-platinum-jubilee-revellers-scramble-for-supplies

[2] Champions League www.cityam.com/dover-chaos-liverpool-fans-and-families-on-half-term-getaways-stuck-in-security-bottlenecks/

[3] Priti Potato Famine inews.co.uk/news/politics/priti-patel-ireland-food-shortage-no-deal-brexit-leo-varadkar-home-secretary-warning-318794

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Changing minds on Europe and Brexit

Changing minds on Europe and Brexit

Finally it’s out !! The new book on Changing minds on Europe and Brexit is here. Click to buy on Amazon or contact me by e-mail via peter@academy-of-rock.co.uk for your personal copy. If you are a sponsor of Re-Boot Britain, you can get a heavily discounted copy to just cover costs.

To find out what it’s all about, join me on Thursday 7 April at 7.00 pm GMT via ZOOM. Here’s the book blurb to give you an insight as to why you will want to buy a copy.

Brexit has broken Britain, economically, socially, culturally, politically and environmentally. Quite simply, Brexit has not delivered what was promised on the tin in 2016, for anyone in our DisUnited Kingdom. This book explains how we may join anew for a better Britain in a better Europe for a better world.

  • Strategies and scenarios to join anew 2021 – 2031.
  • Brexit freedoms, unicorns, ghosts and fantasy stories laid to rest.
  • The influence of Russia and Vladimir Putin on Brexit and the Johnson Junta.
  • The psychology of ‘Brexorcism’ and the anatomy of the Brexit psyche.
  • Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) applied to the task of softening hardened minds on Brexit.
  • How to hold difficult conversations with Leavers in regret and Remainers in remission.
  • How does Brexorcism differ in real life from online conversations and what can you do about it?
  • Strategies to put forward a positive vision of a united Europe and heal rifts from the ‘dialogue of the deaf’ over 6 years.
  • Stories to motivate you and show how these strategies work in practice. Alongside this we explore a number of ‘glorious failures’ as they offer even better insights to success.
  • A resource section on how to break ‘parliamentary paralysis’, how to make progress in advocacy to MPs and how to engage mainstream media (MSM).
  • How to multiply your impact and pro-Europe / anti-Brexit influence in real life conversations, lobbying and in mainstream and / or social media.

A ‘Brexorcism’ requires time, patience, unconditional positive regard and skill. This book provides these elements, drawing on a range of approaches to change management from psychology, sociology and therapeutic approaches.

Here are a few samples to whet your appetite:

Read recent articles P&O Ferries and Brexit, Brexit and WW III, Banged up Bojo, Gavin Esler.

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NI and Social Care

Paying for Social Care

There is a widespread view that we must pay more in National Insurance to cover shortfalls in social care and healthcare. All of this has been hung on the hook of COVID, as if it anaesthetises the arguments or any debate. I would like to question the notion that we must raise NI to raise £13 billion as there are many more routes to raise the required capital. In fact it would be easy for this Government to raise the capital without using the crude instrument of NI, which selectively targets those least able to pay the tax, whilst protecting old age pensioners, many of whom vote Tory. But fear not OAPs. Rishi is not paying for social care. Rather, he will be coming for your triple lock soon …

Option 1 – The Brexit Bounce

Robert Dyer coined the phrase “The Brexit Bounce”. Remember we were getting £350 million back from the EU EVERY WEEK. Do the math. That’s £18.2 BILLION every year into perpetuity. So, in one fell swoop, we can pay for social care with the Brexit Bounce, except the £350 million has not materialised.

Write to your MP and ask them where the Brexit Bonus for the NHS is. After all, we voted for it.

Option 2 – The COVID Corruption Fund

Dido Harding spent £37 BILLION on Test and Trace, much of which was either non-existent or faulty. Let’s be generous and suppose that only 20% of the project was fictional or faulty. That’s a cool £7.4 BILLION towards the social care uplift. Then there is the PPE fraud …

Write to your MP and ask them to sue the companies that made faulty or non-existent Test and Trace.

Option 3 – The Tory Spaffing Fund

Liz Truss took a lonely trip to Australia in the Government A321 Airbus at a cost of £500 000. Small beer I hear you say. But these trophy flights could help pay for the NI hike !! What’s wrong with Ryanair? Or BA if you wanted to be truly patriotic at a cost of around £4000 to Oz.

Rishi Sunak seems to have cancelled £4.3 BILLION of fraudulent COVID loans. That would be a nice contribution to the social care fund? Closing tax loopholes would make enough funds to fund good quality services not just care and allow for less taxation on those that can least afford it. With thanks to Gail Jones.

Then there are the small ticket items but yet every little helps as they say at Tesco. The No 10 wallpaper bill (£840 per roll), Priti Patel’s Eyelashes, Suitcases of wine, the Royal Yachts at a snip of £250 Million. Everything adds up.

What other spaffing options exist? Write to me in the comments and I will add your point with a credit to your input.

Write to your MP and ask them to review the use and need for the Government Airbus.

Option 4 – Brexit to the rescue

Brexit has cost £128 billion so far, or £727 per second. Although it would not be straightforward, stopping Brexit would give us access to all the social car,e by stopping Britain bleeding to death. Here’s a helpful chart to show what you can buy with £128 257 825 862 in case you have never thought of “how to spend it”.

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Write to your MP and ask them question the spending on Brexit.

BREXIT IS COSTING THE EARTH. SAY NO TO USING NI AS A MEANS OF PAYING FOR SOCIAL CARE

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Brexit Carnage

The Future of Brexit

Brexit has failed. That much is clear. Yet exiting Brexit will be a long and tortuous process. I am asking for your regular support via Patreon, Paypal or GoFundMe to continue our full time work to put Brexit and it’s culture carriers into a shallow grave. Here’s a mini roundup of our current collaborations on the future of Brexit, some online, some in real life.  Let me know if you can help in any way to Re-Boot Britain.

Jail Johnson 

In collaboration with Prof Joshua Silver, we have a project to, at the very least, prosecute Johnson for lying to Parliament and thus breaking the Ministerial code.  The alluring sexed up title of Jail Johnson refers to the real goal of taking Johnson to court for killing 179 000 people unnecessarily for pursuing his herd immunity strategy.  We need thousands of signatures to support this action initially.  Please find out more at Jail Johnson and send this paragraph to friends with a link to the petition Uphold The Rule of Law.

By the way, the objective of Jailing Johnson is itself not the only goal we have.  Amidst some of the items in the ‘backroom’ that are perhaps less interesting to the public is Putin’s donation of £8 million to Aaron Banks which, if exposed, could lead to the destruction of the Conservative Party and to some reconsideration of our relationship with the EU.  There is also the case of the £1 billion bribe with the DUP, which again has serious ramifications. 

Jail Johnson
Jail Johnson

Europe Day – May 7th

In collaboration with EU Flag Mafia, we are planning a concert at a church near to Parliament for Europe Day.  We need headline artists, social media marketing team and, of course, an audience of 400 people.  ‘Rage Against The Brexit Machine’ will be supporting the event with a 20 minute set of the best of our output from 6 years of pro-European activism and I’m planning to put together a sh..t hot live band for the occasion.  Get in touch if you can help and let me know if you would like to reserve tickets for this special event.  To support our costs in doing this please go to PayPal.

Moggmentum

We had an extraordinary response to our article on Brexit Freedoms, following Jacob Rees-Mogg’s request for Sun readers to do his job for him.  The article has reached outside the bubble and I’ve been trying to set up a Leader’s debate with some angry leave voters who seem unable to think of any freedoms they now have but who are convinced they exist !! 😊

See Moggmentum and British Life on Facebook for some comedy gold on the future of Brexit.

Lying on the job – Click to read 170 Brexit Opportunities

EU Britizens in exile

In collaboration with Alice Boulliez et al. we have drafted a press release for use with UK media to highlight an upcoming legal case.  See Orphaned by Brexit if you can help Alice in reaching mainstream media in the UK.

Brexit Doesn’t Pay – Removing the Brexit culture carriers 

In collaboration with the wonderful Adrian Ekins-Daukes, we plan to build a database of MPs who are (a) vulnerable and (b) who are ‘Brexophiles’.  Once we have that, there is a much longer job of finding leaders in their constituencies to help remove their majority at the earliest opportunity, working systematically as of now to leaven their chances of winning a GE.  The message must clearly be that ‘Brexit Doesn’t Pay’.  We need a data and an excel people to build the database and people who can reach the leaders in the areas to build teams to deliver our strategy.  It is a considerable amount of work.  We may also eventually link up to Andy Watkin’s fine work to help people target their efforts within specific wards for maximum impact.  If you can support the ‘Brexit Doesn’t Pay’ project financially, please go to GoFundMe.

Please note – This project is quite different to Lord Andrew Adonis’ barmy attempt by the European Movement to target 44 Tory MPs and, in doing so, to kill our support with the quieter rump of Conservative MPs who wish to rejoin the EU.  This was quite wrong-headed and, working together with the MODEM group, we managed to push back Adonis’ daft idea, although this was after much of the damage had been done, after The Conservative European Forum left The European Movement because of him.

Next meeting – Monday March 7th

I have not been overwhelmed with offers of support from people wishing us to build a bigger Re-Boot Britain organisation !! ☹  I’ve had four offers of Gold sponsorship for which I am extremely grateful. I have presently declined them as (a) it does not get us to the target and, more importantly (b) it is simply wrong to rely on a few people with deep pockets.  We really need 4 – 800 x much smaller amounts.  Here is the link to the video presentation.  Do let me know how you are doing at engaging others.  I’ve had much more beneficial offers to return to corporate life and I’m beginning to think that this may be my best option to thrive rather than merely surviving by doing this full-time.  We will review progress on March 7th at 8 pm on ZOOM.  I am left wondering if we really don’t believe that Brexit can be reversed or whether continuing effort is actually worth it tbh and am not someone who believes it’s worth it if we cannot get the needed collaborations. The future of Brexit is bleak if we make it so but I recognise that people are at a low ebb.

The Book of Brexorcism : Let’s Talk About Brexit

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There are no Brexit Benefits only Brexit loons – image by Aidan Grooville

Rejoin Scenarios 2021-2031

Long range thinking on Rejoin Scenarios 2021-2031 the EU. The work of 100 people over many months – too many to mention but you know who you are.

A along read but well worth your time.

Here is the whole article to read : Rejoin Scenarios

And a small snippet to tease you below.

Please join us to discuss them in our summit event on 31 January at 8 pm via Re-Boot Britain

Breadline Britain

By 2031, the impact of The Brexit Hunger Games had been fully felt through civil unrest, the fragmentation of traditional politics and the formation of The People’s Progress Party (PPP), formed from the fragments of Labour, Lib Dems, the influence of powerful individuals such as Gina Miller, a merger with The Green Party and Memoranda of Friendship with the independent Governments of Scotland, Ireland, Wales and The European Union. Although The PPP could not stop the damage done by Brexit, Brexit carnage had eventually unified the people against the remnants of the Conservative Party, allowing a return of some of the more moderate conservatives to public life.  This took place after an attempted takeover by Jacob Rees Mogg and following the worst riots ever seen on the streets of Britain in 2022, after the impact of Brexit on food supplies, gas and electricity supplies, the three-day week, drinking water safety issues and availabilities of goods and services previously taken for granted.  One of the earliest acts of the PPP was to prosecute various culture carriers of Brexit, assisted by The Good Law Project.  In 2026 a group of these people were jailed for various offences, including Boris Johnson, Mark Francois, Nigel Farage, Lord Bethel, Daniel Hannan and Priti Patel.

The PPP was formed in 2023 in a complete volte face of traditional politics.  People were selected for office, based on rigorous selection methods and then elected by people’s assemblies.  Whilst the party had some politicians drawn from the best of the crop, it was formed from people from business, the arts, community leaders, public figures and so on.  This was informed by the insight that some celebrities and sportspeople were more skilled and popular than Westminster politicians.  However, this was no populist uprising.  The PPP insisted on informed democracy, fought the election in 2024 on some old-fashioned ideas about truth, fairness, trust, reforming politics and healing the country.  They won a majority of votes but lost the election to the Conservatives due to the existing First Past The Post (FPTP) system, which Labour had failed to confront and which eventually led to the breakup of the Labour party.  The PPP’s meteoric rise was based on some very good campaigning, based on an ‘Enough is Enough’ message and a promise to make a Better Britain in a Better Europe through Better Politics.  This included plans for electoral reform.  It had become clear that the European Union felt they were better off without Britain at the table and, although they had left the door open to rejoining the EU, it would come with some important pre-conditions.  The most important one was for a complete removal of the Brexit ultras from power, to avoid a ‘Hokey Cokey Brexit’ i.e. an in / out / shake it all about approach to EU membership.  Other items such as Schengen and Euro membership were negotiable depending on whether they felt that our standards of democracy were acceptable and the degree to which English exceptionalism and cakeism had been removed from the political culture.  Some former Brexiteers hid in the shadows rather like people did from 1975 until 2016.

Read the whole article : Rejoin Scenarios 2021-2031

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Brexit is Broken

Send in the clowns

Changing Minds on Brexit

BREXONOMICS

Do you prefer a slow or sudden death?

In this update we look at the latest facts about the economics of Brexit. The popular view is that COVID is the great destroyer of the economy. Think again and read on. The report by LSE shows that Brexit offers a much greater and more sustained shock to our economy than COVID. It also compares No Deal and what might be expected as a Brexit deal and finds no great differences in terms of the long term damage.

In the wake of the 2019 General Election result, there appears to have been a great deal of conciliation and accommodation by Remainers, in terms of the acceptance of some form of Brexit and accepting the illusion that an 80 seat majority is invincible. Yet, as the figures demonstrate, all forms of Brexit are toxic, in terms of their long term and sustainable damage to the United Kingdom. If you feel worn down by 4 years of Brexit boredom, I, above many understand this, having fought full time for several years on this topic. It does not alter the hard fact that Brexit is a shitstorm that we may still avoid, if political will is there or can be created.

The difference between a Brexit Deal and No Deal is really the difference between a slow painful death and a sudden death.

Read up on why Brexit can be suspended at Suspended Animation.

Read up on why Rejoining may be a unicorn in the long term at Fool Britannia.

Write to your MP using these facts to help you compose your letter.

Boiling Frog Blues

If you still feel that Corona is more significant than Brexit you may well be experiencing what psychologists call recency bias. This is the reason why we think that air disasters are a regular occurrence after a significant airplane crash occurs.

Speaking analytically, Corona is merely a crisis, whereas Brexit is a disaster in slow motion. We tend to confuse the two because what is called the boiled frog syndrome. The LSE report shows clearly that Brexit offers a much greater existential risk to Britain. The question remains:

How quickly and how badly to you want to die?

Brexona – Combined effect

An accountant will teach you about the concept of avoidable costs. We must endure Corona as a natural phenomenon. We don’t have to add Brexit to Corona. Combination of 11% GDP loss from Corona and a 5-8% loss from Brexit will be catastrophic. In case of doubt it only took a 3.5% GDP loss to create the 2008 Crash.

“Corona Crisis + Brexit Disaster = Britastrophe”

Ground Control to Boris J

Brexit has already cost us more than The International Space Station (ISS). Brexit is set to cost £200 BILLION by the end of 2020. An ISS costs a mere £115 billion. In case the figures are causing you to be “lost in space”, that means £3030 from EVERY PERSON’S TAXES to be taken from you at some point in the future. And you get a blue passport and a hard border in Kent. Is it worth it?

Write to your MP. Ask them to pull back from the brink of a Britastrophe before it’s too late.

Coming soon – the eye of the Brexit Corona storm

Flush Brexit

We must Flush Brexit down the pan … I was assembling my equipment for our Silent Brexit Protest in Kent last Friday evening … Musing upon the bizarre week of 1984 styled events, especially the spectacle of thousands of portaloos arriving in Kent to cope with 72 mile tailbacks of traffic on the main arteries (A2, A20, M20, M2, M25, M26, A299, A256, A28, A251, A249, A229, A228, A25, A26, A259, A227 etc.). Riffing on the idea of Flush Brexit, it came to me:

“Wouldn’t it be great if we had a portaloo for our event on Saturday in Lenham”

I considered scouring the town’s skips for a suitable toilet bowl, but time was short, so I decided to focus on more important matters …

On Saturday morning, whilst driving down to Lenham, w came upon a bidet bowl (forin’ innit) and cistern that had been fly-tipped on a drive of a country house just off the A249 trunk road. It was difficult to stop with lorries behind me, but I knew we were meant to Flush Brexit from my Friday night brain dump. I decided to make a detour of 7 miles by driving back up the A249 and returning to pull into the tiny hollow. We collected the bog by the side of the road. Mischief managed.

This put me in mind of the shit that is published by the Daily Mail, so here is today’s news dressed up as the Maul on Sunday:

The Sunday Maul
The Sunday Maul

In case you doubt where the actual stories come from, here are a few references:

PROJECT FACT:

Pension credit to be slashed

10 000 Portaloos in Kent

Hancock commits people to “death by Brexit

BOJO says we’ll have an Australian deal aka No Deal

William Shatner gives up on Britain for Star Trek merchandise

Flush Brexit down the pan

Jennifer Arcuri gaslights us away from Brexit catastrophe

There is no good Brexit
There is no good Brexit – Click to read
SuspEND Brexit - Click to read
SuspEND Brexit – Click to read
BBC - Brexit Border Control
BBC – Brexit Border Control – The latest from Cold War Steve – get his work from https://coldwarsteve.com/
Flush Brexit
Flush Brexit B-Day

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Red Tops

Red Tops

In our latest series of Populist Press Parodies from the Red Tops, we tackle the big issues of the day. In case of confusion in our age of disinformation, please find our fact and fantasy checker at the bottom of the page.

Daily Maul
Lunch Box Luxury
Daily Excess
Spanish Lies
"The Sun"
Page 3 remodelled

FACTS v. FANTASIES

FANTASY Jacob Rees-Mogg did not live in fact live on a diet of Cream Crackers. He did however proclaim that British fish were happier now that they have Brexit. It’s just a matter of time before he asks for the restoration of the birch.

FACT Ford has decided to raise the price of a number of models due to increased costs of manufacture due to Brexit.

FACT The Government plan to only give one shot of the COVID vaccine. This would provide 70% protection. There is no evidence to suggest that this will lead to herd immunity. It is also feasible that it would mean that insufficient protection is given, providing the Corona virus with an open doorway to the development of a more virulent strain. We will essentially be the clinical trial for this risky experiment.

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FACT A large number of Tory MPs joined banned website Parler.

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FANTASY There are no Brexit Universities.

FACT British people living in Spain were surprised to learn that they could not stay in their second homes indefinitely and that they needed to make a financial contribution to their country of residence. They failed to understand that freedom of movement works both ways under Brexit.

FACT A bag of sovereignty is being auctioned on e-bay. Sadly, no one has thought it to offer any value.

FACT Just days after we signed the Brexit trade deal we are breaking it. In particular we plan to use neonecotonoids on sugar beet. This chemical is toxic to bees. It is estimated that once the bees die, we are not long for the world either.

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FACT The European Union are offering to help Ireland from their fund post Brexit. In the longer term it is probably that Ireland and Northern Ireland will simply cut England out of the equation through their dealings.

FICTION French model Rachelle Gauchette is not travelling to Scotland or Ireland to boost morale for independence or reunification … yet. Napoleon did not have a Napoleon complex. The offer of a night with Nigel Farage is a dirty lie.

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