We must Flush Brexit down the pan … I was assembling my equipment for our Silent Brexit Protest in Kent last Friday evening … Musing upon the bizarre week of 1984 styled events, especially the spectacle of thousands of portaloos arriving in Kent to cope with 72 mile tailbacks of traffic on the main arteries (A2, A20, M20, M2, M25, M26, A299, A256, A28, A251, A249, A229, A228, A25, A26, A259, A227 etc.). Riffing on the idea of Flush Brexit, it came to me:
“Wouldn’t it be great if we had a portaloo for our event on Saturday in Lenham”
I considered scouring the town’s skips for a suitable toilet bowl, but time was short, so I decided to focus on more important matters …
On Saturday morning, whilst driving down to Lenham, w came upon a bidet bowl (forin’ innit) and cistern that had been fly-tipped on a drive of a country house just off the A249 trunk road. It was difficult to stop with lorries behind me, but I knew we were meant to Flush Brexit from my Friday night brain dump. I decided to make a detour of 7 miles by driving back up the A249 and returning to pull into the tiny hollow. We collected the bog by the side of the road. Mischief managed.
This put me in mind of the shit that is published by the Daily Mail, so here is today’s news dressed up as the Maul on Sunday:
The Sunday Maul
In case you doubt where the actual stories come from, here are a few references:
In our latest series of Populist Press Parodies from the Red Tops, we tackle the big issues of the day. In case of confusion in our age of disinformation, please find our fact and fantasy checker at the bottom of the page.
Lunch Box Luxury
Spanish Lies
Page 3 remodelled
FACTS v. FANTASIES
FANTASY Jacob Rees-Mogg did not live in fact live on a diet of Cream Crackers. He did however proclaim that British fish were happier now that they have Brexit. It’s just a matter of time before he asks for the restoration of the birch.
FACT The Government plan to only give one shot of the COVID vaccine. This would provide 70% protection. There is no evidence to suggest that this will lead to herd immunity. It is also feasible that it would mean that insufficient protection is given, providing the Corona virus with an open doorway to the development of a more virulent strain. We will essentially be the clinical trial for this risky experiment.
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FACT A large number of Tory MPs joined banned website Parler.
Shame these MP’s on social media. Request a public apology for their sins
FANTASY There are no Brexit Universities.
FACT British people living in Spain were surprised to learn that they could not stay in their second homes indefinitely and that they needed to make a financial contribution to their country of residence. They failed to understand that freedom of movement works both ways under Brexit.
FACT Just days after we signed the Brexit trade deal we are breaking it. In particular we plan to use neonecotonoids on sugar beet. This chemical is toxic to bees. It is estimated that once the bees die, we are not long for the world either.
FACT The European Union are offering to help Ireland from their fund post Brexit. In the longer term it is probably that Ireland and Northern Ireland will simply cut England out of the equation through their dealings.
FICTION French model Rachelle Gauchette is not travelling to Scotland or Ireland to boost morale for independence or reunification … yet. Napoleon did not have a Napoleon complex. The offer of a night with Nigel Farage is a dirty lie.
Just 20 days into Brexit and it seems that nearly every industry and sector of society are either asking for a hand out or a hand up after Brexit. Some of you will be familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Here’s the Brexit hierarchy of needs:
Working up from the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy, it has become apparent that our so-called free trade deal is not free, nor frictionless. We can already see low-level shortages of fresh food on supermarket shelves. Tony Hale, managing director of London-based DH Foods, said he had five containers of fresh pork sitting at Rotterdam port that was now “completely rotten”. Another mentioned £500 000 worth of meat rotting after being delayed by our ‘frictionless trade’. Fishermen protested in Downing Street on Monday and the Government tried to buy them off by offering £23 million in compensation for losses. Let’s do the math:
£23 million = £19 166 for each fisherman
Our attempts to secure a Brexit deal for the fishermen have cost £7 BILLION. That’s 304 times more than the sum of money being offered !!
£19 K sounds a lot, but of course it’s barely enough to live on for a year, in return for the fishermen’s silence. A fisherman’s friend once said that “a cod in the hand is worth two in the net”, but this is plainly a fobbing-off strategy. Cod only knows what we’d do without EU …
Controversial thought. Should people who largely voted for Brexit be rewarded for that decision? Arguably not.
Sold down the river by Brexit
Scotland did not vote for this
Note that the fishermen did not do this properly as they did not write their slogans on a bus …
These effects are DIRECTLY related to Brexit
The bribe for the fisherman sets an important precedent. If you feel you have been adversely affected by Brexit, simply write to Boris and ask for a ‘bung’.
Breathe
Parliament voted down an amendment to the Brexit Trade Bill which sought to ensure the NHS is excluded from future trade deals. This means that The NHS is once again up for sale on the international markets, breaking yet another Conservative manifesto promise. Expect American styled healthcare charges in the future and the eventual end of our NHS, currently free at the point of delivery. Oh, yes, and the £350 million per week has still not materialised …
Boris Johnson narrowly avoided defeat on a bill to avoid parliamentary scrutiny on trade deals with regimes which commit genocide. One can soon expect Liz Truss to come back from North Korea signing deals for missiles in exchange for cheese.
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Read our satirical spoofs of The Sun, Mail, Express at Private Eyelines
Brain Damage
Maslow did not deal with money in his hierarchy of needs, as it was what fellow traveller Frederick Herzberg termed a ‘dissatisfier’. Simply stated, doubling your salary does not double your motivation, but an inadequate wage is a massive source of dissatisfaction.
Losing your livelihood can also lead to mental health issues, aka what Pink Floyd referred to as ‘brain damage’ on ‘Dark Side of the Moon’. We are currently in the midst of experiencing what could be described as ‘collective PTSD’ in the UK, as lives and livelihoods are destroyed by COVID. Whilst it makes total sense to close down non-essential activities, such as hairdressers, nail bars etc. and to restrict social participation in sports and hospitality, the impacts on mental health are considerable.
Whilst Brexit is not a direct causal factor of these COVID-related closures. Brexit has contributed to our lack of resilience in the UK and therefore our sense of dystopia about the future. Going forward, Brexit will do much more damage to our sense of belonging and place in the world, with impacts on lives and livelihoods. We can only express our sorrow to those people whose lives depend on the resumption of their businesses. All we can do is to point out that the measures taken by Boris Johnson have been too little, too late. This has resulted in repeated lockdowns and restrictions and extended the pain from COVID. Adding Brexit to COVID results in a ‘Britastrophe’.
A stitch in time saves nine – click on the image to save democracy
I am part musician, part scientist, part business academic, so it pains me to say this, but if we had to choose between eating and music, the rational choice would be to eat. Yet our Brexit Government has voted for neither. With shops now emptying of fruit, veg, meat and fish, one could have taken consolation in music. Yet it emerges that Boris Johnson rejected a special deal for musicians working in Europe as part of the Brexit trade deal. I wrote on the issue of musicians working in Europe many years ago, in Voices for Europe and recently the world’s most famous musicians have protested against this criminal assault on the arts by our Government.
Won’t get fooled again (by Brexit) … We’ll be fighting on the streets – click on Roger Daltrey to help Re-Boot Britain – Graphic by Cold War Steve www.coldwarsteve.com
UK culture secretary Oliver Dowden urged musicians to use their ‘star power’ to lobby the EU to ease new visa and work permit rules. Dowden revealed his pathetic idiocy and ignorance in suggesting that musicians should be able to break international trade agreements. In doing so, he made himself and his Government look especially stupid. The fault rests with third-rate negotiator Frost, who, instead of looking after the interests of musicians and others, wasted months of negotiations parroting the words that Britain is a sovereign country.
"France received €170 billion by 2020-end because of Brexit. In spite of the pandemic about 2,500 jobs have already been transferred & about fifty British entities have authorised the relocation of at least €170 billion in assets to France at the end of 2020". Banque de France.
— A C Grayling #FBPE 3.5% #Reform #Rejoin #FBPA 🐟 (@acgrayling) January 20, 2021
HMRC are also charging truckers for delays that THEY are causing in terms of customs checks. This will not go well. There have been several reports on extensive delays for lorry drivers. In case you are confused about why this is happening, this helpful diagram explains all:
Alone again, naturally – our place as a 3rd Country
Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time. Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way The time is gone, the song is over, Thought I’d something more to say.
The Government has ended the restrictions on the 48-hour working week, although employers have not complained of feeling unduly shackled by EU standards and the majority of workers working more than 48 hours a week willingly opted out with better pay conditions. This opens the door to the exploitation of poorly paid workers. This breaks the government’s election manifesto pledge and was a key part of the Tories’ appeal to voters in traditional Labour seats which helped the party to secure its 2019 General Election victory.
Time is of course at the heart of our problems with delivery of fresh food and medicines, many of which require cool chain delivery and which rely on Just In Time manufacturing in order to reach us in good condition. In some cases we have yet to see the impacts of Brexit in these areas but the signs are not good.
Meanwhile, Boris Johnson continues to gaslight us into accepting sub-optimal doses of the COVID vaccine. He is going against best advice from the manufacturers and the WHO although they understand our sense of desperation, given the toxic effects of Corona + Brexit. This decision is not risk free and we shall find out the effects by experimentation.
Just 20 days in and Brexit carnage has begun, from the top to the bottom of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, as we enter the Winter of Discontent.
Well, this article compiled by Peter Cook summarises some of what has happened in the first 3 weeks of real Brexit. We all need to recognise these real problems that have arisen from the fact of Brexit and from the reckless rushed and incompetent negotiation. No one should refer any more to Project Fear – this is Reality and businesses are facing disaster.
Do we accept that this has happened? Government Ministers consistently refuse to answer questions about reasons for our dreadful situation, whether that is Brexit or Covid. As expected, they have started to blame Covid for Brexit problems.
Will Boris Johnson now move on? Will his Government act honourably, do what the Dutch Government have done and resign en masse with him? Ask your MP.
We finish as we began, with a performance of Pink Floyd’s “Another Prick in the Mall”, on a train after The People’s March:
With thanks to Sy Donne, Irina Fridman, Helga Perry, Adrian Ekins-Daukes, Mike Cashman, Jo Wace, Martin Housden, Lisa Lanfranchi, Carol Fraser, Roger Cracknell, Patricia Manning, Daphne Franks, Peter Daws, June Austin, Greg Newman for helping compile this article.
Jacob Rees-Mogg has been slammed for suggesting the people died in the Grenfell Tower tragedy because they listened to the fire brigade’s orders. Mugged by Mogg, Jacob claimed that they lacked ‘common sense’. The Tory MP told LBC host Nick Ferrari that the victims would have survived if they’d just ignored what they were told. Since when would anyone ignored the advice of someone in charge of saving lives if your house was burning down. The Metro reported that Jacob would have left the building as ‘it just seems the common sense thing to do’.
Mogg Fish
A happy fish
Faced with furious complaints that lorry loads of fish had to be thrown into the sea owing to delays caused by Brexit red tape, Jacob Rees-Mogg replied as follows to questions in the house:
“The key is we’ve got our fish back. They are now British fish and they’re better & happier fish for it”
Toby Earle MP stated that unsold fish are rotting on docks, seafood companies are hitting the wall.
Others pointed out that rotting fish are not happy fish. Also, the happiest of all are those who are not caught and live out their lives peacefully because British fisherman have all gone bankrupt because they have no one to sell their fish to!
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This piece of condescending Etonian humour stands comparison with Mary Antoinette’s remarks about cake eating. It is fit for an audience of three-year-olds only, not grown ups inside or outside the House of Commons.
Suffer little children
Jacob Rees-Mogg is also under fire for accusing UNICEF of a “political stunt” after the UN agency stepped in to help feed deprived children in the UK during the COVID-19 pandemic.
The Commons leader hit out at Unicef, which provides humanitarian aid to children worldwide, after it launched its first domestic emergency response in the UK in its over 70-year history. He characterised Unicef’s support as “playing politics” and said it should be “ashamed of itself”.
As part of the support programme of more than £700,000 to help fund projects for children and their families, UNICEF has pledged £25,000 to supply nearly 25,000 breakfasts in a south London borough over the Christmas holidays and February half-term.
After UNICEF’s support in the UK was raised in the Commons, Mogg stated:
“I think it’s a real scandal that UNICEF should be playing politics in this way when it is meant to be looking after people in the poorest, the most deprived countries in the world, where people are starving, where there are famines and there are civil wars. And they make cheap political points of this kind, giving, I think, £25,000 to one council. It is a political stunt of the lowest order.”
He defended the government’s response to child poverty, including expanding free school meals, adding: “UNICEF should be ashamed of itself.”
However, the minister’s comments prompted a backlash, with Labour’s deputy leader, Angela Rayner:
She said: “In one of the richest countries in the world, our children should not be forced to rely on a charity that usually works in war zones and in response to humanitarian disasters. The only scandal here is this rotten Tory government leaving 4.2 million children living in poverty, a number that will only rise due to the coronavirus crisis.”
The Liberal Democrat leader, Ed Davey, said: “Rees-Mogg’s sneering comments are abhorrent – a modern-day version of ‘let them eat cake’.”
Write to your MP using this as content to complain about the slow creep into fascism as espoused by Jacob Rees-Mogg. Refuse to be mugged by Mogg.
Here’s a couple of songs we wrote which express our views on being mugged by Mogg:
Mogg Chorus – with apologies to Paul McCartney
Jacob Rees- Moog – THE BREX-KIP FAR-RIGHT FAR-AGE DOMINATRIX MIX – PG rated
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BACKGROUND
Anna Kettley, UNICEF UK’s director of programmes and advocacy, said: “UNICEF UK is responding to this unprecedented crisis and building on our 25 years’ experience of working on children’s rights in the UK with a one-off domestic response, launched in August, to provide support to vulnerable children and families around the country during this crisis period.
“In partnership with Sustain, the food and farming alliance, over £700k of UNICEF UK funds is being granted to community groups around the country to support their vital work helping children and families at risk of food insecurity during the coronavirus pandemic. UNICEF will continue to spend our international funding helping the world’s poorest children. We believe that every child is important and deserves to survive and thrive no matter where they are born.”
Kettley said UNICEF UK was providing grants of between £5,000 and £25,000, with more than £700,000 being made available in total to 30 community organisations to fund projects for children and families in their area. “For some of the projects, the funding is distributed via a council, but the majority of the grants are being made directly to community organisations,” she said. “In Southwark, the funding has gone directly to School Food Matters, a community organisation.”
UNICEF UK said the first round of grants were confirmed in mid-August and all funded programme activity was due to conclude in February next year.
It has given a £25,000 grant to the community project School Food Matters. The charity says it is working with Premier Foods, Southwark council and Southwark Food Action Alliance – a collective of charitable organisations, residents and community partners – to deliver 18,000 breakfasts to 25 schools for distribution around the borough over the two-week Christmas holidays, as well as an additional 6,750 breakfasts over the February half-term.
The PM’s spokesman declined to comment directly on Rees-Mogg’s remarks, saying: “What we would point towards is the work and the action that we’ve already taken to support the most vulnerable and the poorest families across the country.”
I was somewhat depressed when we ended up with a Brexit deal as I had hoped for no deal on the basis that it would offer people a short sharp dose of Brexit realism. I had thought that the slow death / boiled frog syndrome of a Brexit deal would mean that people would not notice any changes and this piece of trickery would allow Boris Johnson to get Brexit done under cover of the terror of COVID. Just 40 days on and we are already experiencing “The Brexit Bounce”. I am surprised to say that, even with our oven ready Brexit deal, the outcomes are far worse than I expected. Proof positive that nobody in Government read the terms and conditions on the sale of the century. In this piece, we review the Brexit Bounce. Remember, we’ve only just begun …
Selfish about shellfish
Both DEFRA and George Eustace have admitted that the EU were right about the problems of selling shellfish after Brexit. Paul Bowers reports that this ought to be a resigning issue for Eustace, but these are not ordinary times, they are Brexit times and instead he’s trying to distract, by threatening military disruption of French fishing. This is a very dangerous game.
A great exhortation but one without substance now that musicians are working out the true cost of Brexit. NME report on how Brexit will more or less end touring for artists. Classic FM entered the fray in 2019 on this and the impacts were confirmed by one of our members on our Monday ZOOM call, who works for the London Philharmonic Orchestra. Elton John also stepped in recently in The Guardian as did Fish. Of course the issue also applies to others working in the arts. Reports of up to £600 for visas to perform in Europe make it uneconomical for most artists to even consider working outside Britain.
From Carnaby Street to Brexit Street
Down on Brexit Street
The FT reports on impacts in the fashion industry all the while that second hand clothing piles up at the borders, with 5.3% tariff on clothes, making it almost impossible for charities to continue their work.
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Bread and Circuses
Having declared that the activities of Black Lives matter were disagreeable, the Government plans to erect statues of Captain Tom and Margaret Thatcher. Of course, Captain Tom’s work was laudable. It’s just that his efforts would not have been needed if the NHS were to be funded correctly. Now we also hear that the NHS is once again being prepared for eventual sale, following Matt Hancock’s announcement that health is to be taken back into political control in the middle of a pandemic. This is another extremely dangerous move and the timing is catastrophic.
Professor Chris Grey presents the most well balanced appraisal of the European Commission’s mistake with reference to the use of Article 16 on the island of Ireland recently. Proportionality matters.
“In and of itself it was an indefensible error by the EU. But all political systems commit such errors and it was speedily corrected, so whilst there may well be some lessons for the European Commission in what happened the idea that it says anything one way or another about the merits of Brexit is nonsense. Inevitably some Brexiters leapt upon itto claim justification, and some erstwhile remainers professed that it had changed their minds about Brexit. But there was no reason for that except for anyone who imagined that the EU is a perfect institution that never makes any mistakes, which remainers shouldn’t have and Brexiters surely didn’t. And let’s be clear, this episode has not led to the breakdown of trust between the UK and the EU – that was caused by the UK’s behaviour over the last four years or so, years in which the EU has been remarkably consistent and rational. That doesn’t excuse this piece of stupidity but it should put it in perspective.”
Professor Chris Grey
Our own Re-Boot Britain correspondent in Northern Ireland Jane Morrice wrote this piece on the subject, where she proposes a creative compromised with Scotland:
“That creative compromise may lie with Scotland. An independent Scotland welcomed into the EU with open arms would leave England and Wales reminiscent of a headless chicken, cut off from their nearest neighbours, isolated and alone. It would also leave Northern Ireland out on a limb more susceptible than ever to increasing pressure for a move towards a shared or united Ireland. If that were the case, the possibility of the three nations that support EU membership coming together to form an arrangement between Scotland, Ireland and Northern Ireland could be a worthy alternative.”
Jane Morrice is a former vice-president of the European Economic and Social Committee and deputy speaker of the Northern Ireland Assembly
Lobster Thermostat
Yet more fishermen have been hit by Brexit this week and the damage is not temporary nor anything to do with the EU. 71 pages of paperwork must be filled in for ONE lorry of fish. 71 PAGES !!! Yet again it is Britain’s fault for not reading the contract, whilst promising the earth to fishermen. Mike Cashman has two songs about fishing featured on this week’s 16 Million Rising radio show.
A sad story, needless to say. And far from the last we'll hear. Though to blame the EU for enforcing its longstanding rules is a bit like being angry at the sun for rising in the east. The blame here lies entirely with Leave Liars for their leave lies. https://t.co/ugguwdKf9d
Matt Hancock wants to “take back control” of the NHS. This is quite irresponsible as it is currently at breaking point with COVID. Any sensible person would tell you not to introduce system wide change when the system is operating over capacity. Put simply, more people will die. Also this change is intended to make the NHS more saleable, through giving power to Westminster to make decisions about the everyday management of the NHS.
So, why is he doing this now? Quite simply because they are piling everything that is potentially difficult through Parliament whilst COVID is still driving fear into people’s hearts. There will be no resistance.
Far from The Brexit Bounce, this already looks like The Brexit Flounce
The Brexit Bounce
With thanks to Carol Hudson, Daphne Franks, Adrian Ekins-Daukes, Elwyn Lloyd-Jones, Irina Fridman, Helga Perry, Jo Wace, Lisa Lanfranchi, Louise Hunter, Greg Newman, Mike Cashman, Paul Bowers, Peter Daws, Roger Cracknell, Philip Waller and Ron Tendler for their help in producing this.
Join us on Monday at 8 pm to Re-Boot Britain via ZOOM
One year ago, COVID was put in the microwave oven by Boris Johnson. Let’s undertake some reflections on a year of unprecedented and unnecessary death, dither and delay.
“Dirty migrants bring disease” – Johnson
Boris Johnson reports that the third wave of COVID will “arrive on our shores” like unwanted migrants, in an attempt to sidestep responsibility for Stanley Johnson, who continues to exercise freedom of movement to service his Greek villa. Whilst the rest of us face a £5000 fine for going on holiday. Our Government now resembles the cast of “Dallas” in terms of policy making based on the needs of the Johnson family circle.
Priti Patel defends the breaking of international law on BBC Radio 4 – Click to read the latest on asylum policy
Priti Patel announcing her new headless plan for immigration on #r4today…
Hold tight, friends, I know it's awful. I'm going to try to take these proposals point by point. https://t.co/JgzoYDNKkk
We are also reminded that Johnson was more interested in hiding in fridges and minting Brexit 50 pence coins than listening to experts. When other world leaders were listening to scientists, Johnson was listening to Winston Churchill speeches at Chequers. The impact in Britain has been “world beating” deaths approaching 130 000 and probably nearly as many unnecessary additional deaths. We continue to have no plan for the future, except distraction via flag shagging, purchase of tanks and nukes and the ceremonial decoration of No 10 Downing Street for propaganda purposes.
A stitch up out of time saves no-one
Denial is not a river in Egypt
Mike Cashman has articulated the stages of Brexit awareness. Many are still at “stage zero”, believing that Brexit is either a boost to Britain or of no consequence, as the impacts have been masked by COVID:
Brexit has been harmful Brexit has no significant benefits Brexit was a mistake The Brexit mistake was predictable The Brexit consequences are the inevitable result of the “Deal” The Brexit leaders misled us The Tories are still misleading us The Tories have been damaging the UK The Tories are not fit to govern
The provision of inconvenient facts demonstrate that Brexit is a much bigger long term destructive force for Britain. Much bigger and deeper than COVID, but more “slow motion”.
Click to read the full article
Check out Edwin Hayward’s running log of Brexit impacts via Google. What will happen on April Brexit Fools’ Day?
At a basic level, read this story of someone who bought a racing bike from Poland, having been told by Gov.uk that there would be no tariffs who now finds himself having to pay £2000 more to receive the bike and £1000 to return it.
In the Falklands, their economy is being wiped out by tariffs applied to seafood and lamb. Reports also indicate that there are signs that this makes the security of the Falklands (and Gibraltar etc.) less certain.
Women, know your place
Meanwhile the country is gaslit by talk of riots amidst the peaceful protests by women in Bristol. Mysteriously, the Police withdraw their statement of injuries. This report presents an interesting view on the protest. It is enough of an outrage that the police should be involved in the murder case but beyond belief that they may have been involved in gaslighting activities to distract people from the murder.
Image by Cold War
Back to the “Good Old Days”
Northern Ireland are beginning to understand the impact of Brexit on the resurgence of what was euphemistically describe as “the troubles”. We warned Johnson and his Government of this but clearly he may as well have said “Fuck Northern Ireland” as well as “Fuck Business”.
‘Nobody off-limits’.
Won’t be ‘nobody’.
Will be a human being.
With a life to live, with hopes and dreams, and a family destroyed forever.
Join us every Monday at 8 pm for our regular event and 7 pm for induction
Distraction politics
Meanwhile the real wars are in the race to have the best presidential style briefing platform, as Johnson spends an eye watering £2.6 million on home improvements for 10 Downing Street. All furniture is to be sourced from Ikea as this tweet shows.
The other popular bloodsport in Brexit politics is to blame others for your own failures. Let’s remember that Britain has not exported a SINGLE VIAL of vaccine to other countries when we start pointing fingers at others. Even the Telegraph accept that Sir David Frost is not up to the job.
Relations with the EU desperately need improving – Frost can’t do it https://t.co/qld6ra6WWC
No deal no problem? At the time of writing there is still no date set to ratify the Brexit trade and cooperation agreement. If this continues, by end of this month, arrangements in the Brexit agreement become null and void. In the extreme, this would mean that Britain would have to trade on WTO terms, i.e. No Deal Brexit with tariffs and quotas on goods. You may ask “Why the delay in ratification?” Well, Boris Johnson continues to break international law. All agreements require trust and we are in negative equity on this commodity.
Trust is essential for all trade and business – The UK is not trustworthy
This will almost certainly be unpopular but I’d personally like No Deal Brexit now. It will give Brexiteers their lived experience and offer the quickest way back to EU Membership after we have disposed of the Brexit Junta. I argued for No Deal Brexit through most of 2020. I was assassinated by Remainers who followed the herd of National groups such as Best for Britain, The European Movement, some regional groups and individual Remain elite mouthpieces who said “No to No Deal”. In effect these people facilitated Brexit. As a result we have a Brexit deal that is the proverbial slow boiling frog. The government is also able to mask Brexit by claiming that COVID is the cause of any problems.
See Brexit Choices for more insights into our mistake as Remainers.
What we have now is a slow death. No deal is a sudden death. Both result in death but one is more painfully slow than the other. Take your pick.
THINGS TO DO
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In this edition of the Daily Maul, we cover BOJONA-21 – the New Variant Brexit. It seems that the Brexit deal we did has mutated, so now we must waste more time and money trying to get a new deal after we already left. Fat chance. Read the terms and conditions.
The Maul also covers the Australian deal, an exposé into the private life of Boris Johnson and a new hardcore approach to immigrants by Priti Patel. As always, a fact and fiction checker has been prepared as it is hard to tell the difference between farce and fact with our Government.
FACT V FICTION
FACT : Australian beef is hormone injected. It can be selectively fed to children and vulnerable people as UK Government rules allow for cheap food to be dumped on schools, the NHS and care homes. Our EU membership protected us from dodgy food standards but we opted for a blue passport. Liz Truss faces a dilemma on whether she kills British farmers or British children.
FICTION : Poots is not undergoing conversion therapy but he does need to re-take CSE History and Science.
FACT : Priti Patel has had some ‘tough girl’ photographs taken so she can look tough on immigrants. At the same time Liz Truss will be agreeing to give Indians freedom of movement as part of her Brexit “fire sale”. This is all grandstandin on Patel’s part to make her look like she is respectin the will o’ the people. It’s just a photo scam.
FACT : In other news The Department of Health wanted to send 1.6 million pieces of PPE to India but the Treasury stopped them because of Rishi Sunak and Priti Patel’s overseas aid cuts. Noice
Police State
The Department of Health wanted to send 1.6 million pieces of PPE to India but the Treasury stopped them because of the #UKaid cuts, according to @cathynewman’s Whitehall sources
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FACT : The new DUP leader Edwin Poots is a creationist who claims that the earth is only 6000 years old. Just when you thought that it could not get any madder than Arlene Foster …
FICTION : Boris Johnson is not full of custard. He is however full of shit.
FACT : “Sir” David Frost continues to pretend that Brexit is the fault of the EU. Frost is a serial failure as a civil servant who got lucky by suggesting that he would be a useful liar for the Government. In an astonishing move, Frost said that noboby expected Brexit to cause problems in Northern Ireland. Marina Purkiss sums it up well. Sounds a bit like the Monty Python Spanish Inquisition sketch …
Less than 5 months ago…
The deal was “EXCELLENT”
The team was “GREAT”
It was the “BIGGEST & BROADEST TRADE DEAL IN THE WORLD”
That’s how long it took to reveal it as a complete balls-up
Five years on and Brexit’s still undone. I often get quaint looks when I talk about Brexit in Kent now and some subtle or even less subtle social disapproval. For the record, I’m quite happy to be considered to be “so last year” until I am returned to the soil by my maker, or Brexit is placed in a shallow grave, whichever comes soonest. Brexit is in fact undone now that Johnson has realised he never read the contract. It will never be “done”. I told everyone that we’d be doing Brexit for the next 50 years and it begins to look that way. In five years it becomes apparent that we still don’t know what Brexit means but we are beginning to make some evaluation of what Brexit has brought us.
Economiceffects
£2.3 Trillion was lost in just one month from the city of London. Just for comparison and scale, that’s 58 years’ worth of our contribution of £39 billion to the EU wiped out in just one month. So, we would have to make up our losses due to Brexit until 2079 just from this impact alone. Let that sink in!!
Our Australia trade deal is worth 0.02% of GDP over 15 years. It would take 2000 deals like this to even make up our losses from our arrangements with the EU. At a generous estimate of our rate of deal making, we can expect to make up the losses from Brexit in trade deals by the year 3021. I know that’s bad economics as not all trade deals are worthless and some also take years not months but I think you should get the point.
£37 billion has wasted on test and trace. That’s more than what it takes to land a space mission on Mars at a mere £22.5 billion. Our contribution to the EU is £39 billion per year.
Despite promises made to fishermen on Brexit, the UK fishing industry will have been filleted by the time any new arrangements come into being with £1 Million being bled from the fisherman every DAY. Yet, we plan to spend £200 million on a Royal Yacht that the Royal family do not want or need. Brexit McBrexitFace will no doubt spend its time trawling international waters trying to net trade deals without catching anything more than scurvy.
Brexit shrank UK services exports by more than £110 billion over a four-year period. That’s 3 x our yearly contribution to the EU, much of which we get back.
Farmers have also been sold down the river with the introduction of hormone fed beef and the dumping of poor quality products into UK markets, just so that Liz Truss can claim success.
The building industry is beginning to show cracks with materials shortages and other supply chains being affected.
Food and drink exports from UK have declined by 50% since the beginning of 2021.
Coming soon, having lost EU steel import protections, our steel industry now faces a wave of cheap imports.
Hired goons distract people from Brexit shambles. Help us Re-Boot Britain by clicking the image.
Social / Welfare / Environmental
Brexit has been all consuming on Civil Service bandwidth and this means that there have been numerous areas of neglect. For example: social care, Grenfell, The Northern Ireland protocol and citizenship issues remain undone with massive consequences for lives and livelihoods. 305 000 people are caught in civil service backlogs for settled status and Johnson says he will not budge on the deadline of June 30th with impact on breaking up families and imprisonment at borders. Big issues in 2016 are still issues in 2021 due to the significant entropy of Brexit on progress across the board of Government.
“You can stay but your kids can’t”.
We are yet to see the whole impact of the end of the grace period at the borders but already all major supermarkets have imposed rationing on tinned tomatoes with food shortages predicted in the coming months and the army on standby.
And, of course, far from taking back control of £350 million per week for the NHS, Dido Harding is on the way to privatising your NHS. Was this on the side of a bus?
We did not need to do Brexit to deal with immigration. Our hostile environment has discouraged Europeans to work here. In particular we have seen a sharp decline in fruit pickers, care workers and other professions. The arguments made by Brexiteers to “grow our own” have not gathered any takers …
Instead of planting veg this year I have taken the Brexiteers advice to "grow our own". I have planted 3 doctors, 10 nurses, 5 scientists and 20 farmers in the ground. I now await the results #Brexiteers#BrexitReality#NHS#farming#ScienceResearch
— Re-Boot Britain – Rage Against The Brexit Machine (@BrexitRage) June 21, 2021
Political / Constitutional
The destruction of peace in Northern Ireland has already begun by the reckless abandonment of the Good Friday Agreement. Johnson promised there would be no border down the Irish Sea. He broke that promise, ending 30 years of peace on the island of Ireland. Kate Hoey has been cynically and dangerously stoking the fires of unrest in Northern Ireland, having promoted Brexit.
The destruction of the United Kingdom has begun with Scotland seeking independence, reunification of Ireland and independence movements beginning in Cornwall and the North East. Independence for Scotland and unity for Ireland are of course good things and entirely predictable consequences of Brexit. In extremis, England will be reduced to the People’s Republic of Thurrock by 2040!! Gibraltar has special status as a means of dealing with the fact that the majority of residents work in Spain. In 10-20 years time we can expect Gibraltar to be under Spanish control. The same goes for The Falkland Islands, The Channel Islands and The Isle of Man.
The UK is now a four nation state and a one party state with no effective opposition. It may sound hard to say this but Brexit is as much a product of a passive and fearful opposition than it is the result of a hard core of Brexit ultras and psychopaths.
Britain no longer has a special relationship with the USA as President Biden seeks to re-educate us about the realities of breaking international law. At the same time Biden has forged stronger links with Europe as a natural partner of similar size in terms of trade and other opportunities.
I invite Brexiteers to provide a list of benefits of Brexit – Five years waiting
Ethical / Legal
Protest is now being clamped down on, using COVID as an umbrella to hide under. Boris Johnson is to remove the powers of the Electoral Commission after they asked awkward questions about the redecoration of his flat.
Crony contracting continues as The Good Law Project reveals details of companies offered lucrative contracts based on personal networks rather than competence in the chosen industry. If you are to shrug and say “so what” to this, these contracts were for PPE. This means that people will have died unnecessarily because of faulty selection procedures. You may well say that the pandemic demanded a speedy response. Well the speediest response would have been to select companies with the capacity and competence to make the products rather than novices.
My own MP Mr Rehman Chishti is under investigation for having his hand in the till over property development scandals. You can help by reporting him to the bar council.
— Re-Boot Britain – Rage Against The Brexit Machine (@BrexitRage) June 21, 2021
We have still not found the identity of the Tory rapist. Is this an example for our children to look up to?
It now seems that our children are to sing a Soviet styles song in school to unite the country. I have a better suggestion – see the song below
Ignorance is strength – Post Brexit education syllabus
I could go on but I won’t. All this in just five years … and we’ve only just begun …
A collaborative effort to mark five years of Brexit carnage from Greg, Lisa, Patricia, Irina, Andrew, Adrian, Mike, Helga and the good people at Re-Boot Britain. Join us every Monday to Break Brexit Before Brexit Breaks Britain.
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There is a job going for Director, Brexit opportunities in the Cabinet Office – I was excited by the prospect of finding out what these were after five years of waiting patiently so I have applied. My application is below. I’d urge you to do the same. Here is the specification:
Dear Lord Sir David Frost,
I have been an avid follower of your work ever since The Frost Report and I was excited to see your research post for a Director of the BOU (Brexit Opportunities Unit). You need look no further, as you have found your man. To quote ELO, ‘I’ve been searchin’ for five years on my own account, meticulously comparing what we had in the EU with what we are getting, now that Brexit is out of the oven. I’d like to continue that research in the quest for the economic, social, technological, ethical, environmental and constitutional benefits of Brexit. As far as your job specification goes, I meet and exceed your requirements, in brief:
I am a skilled researcher, covering qualitative and quantitative methods, survey design and communications. With 3.5 degrees covering science, business and HR, I am quite used to dealing with the distortion of data by politicians, so I’d be more than able to extract the Brexit benefits from the background noise, if they exist. Broadly speaking, I am happy to continue with your line of “if the facts don’t fit the story, change the facts or just erase them”.
I am used to dealing with intelligent senior people across industry, politics, media and in public life. I am quite sure I could “level down” to work with imbeciles, sycophants and psychopaths as required by the role. I met the Prime Minister in 2012 shortly after the Olympics when he was dating a young woman so we have actually met.
In terms of change management, I have written 12 books on leadership and one on the question of changing minds on Brexit. Admittedly, the strategies in “Let’s Talk About BREX .. it” are directed towards the removal of illusions and fantasies about Brexit, what I call “Brexorcism”. However, these change management strategies are just as applicable to the erasure of people’s minds who voted to Remain, although it may be a lot quicker to round these people up and send them to a BCC (Brexit Concentration Camp) – in fact, I will make a proposal on this separate matter to Priti Patel shortly. I am prepared to work on this for 50 years as suggested by Jacob Rees-Mogg.
Change minds on Brexit
In terms of commanding confidence, I am a skilled practitioner of speaking truth to power. I see that lying is a precondition for doing the job and I would cope with this by using a placard saying “fake news” whenever I give a public brief to the media for greater clarity. In any case, in the post-Brexit world, the truth is an expensive luxury. I see that you, Johnson, Patel, Hancock, Raab, Duncan Smith, Francois et al. have managed to get by without needing to get dragged down by the truth. Bravo!!
As regards changing laws, I have no respect for the law, having been let down by the Police on several occasions when being attacked by Brexiteers. This means that I regard the law as unimportant in the quest to get Brexit done. Judges and the judiciary are one of the areas we must target to remove the scales of justice from people’s eyes.
I was considered to be too organised to get a job for Dominic Cummings. This demonstrates my ability to stick at something that has been a proven failure over the long term.
Dealing with the Russians at Parliament – Photograph by Bruce Tanner http://www.brucetanner.com
Crucially I have no political experience at all, a massive asset in a political world befuddled by political experts. Who needs experts (Gove, Govia). But I am good at coming up with meaningless phrases to describe the toxic cocktail of Corona crisis + Brexit disaster aka “Britastrophe“.
In the words of The Clash “I hate the army and I hate the R.A.F. I don’t wanna go fighting in the tropical heat. I hate the civil service rules. I won’t open a letter bomb for you.”
Put plainly, if Dido Harding can run the NHS, I can run the fucking Cabinet Office, FFS.
In summary, 27 years diverse experience as a business consultant, author, speaker and academic, working with companies such as Unilever, Pfizer, The UN, Virgin, BP. Find me at Linkedin.
On the suggestion of Julia Smith, may I ask for these other fringe benefits:
Free flags for my home, car etc.
Private health insurance delivered by the NHS
Cocaine discounts
Free use of the Royal Yacht Brexit McBrexitFace at weekends
Exclusive access to PPE contracts for which I am quite unsuitable @ £107 million per item
I require a minimum of two cats in the office at anyone time and a supply of fresh food for the kitties
A job for my son in strategic management
A gravy train and two year’s supply of Bisto
Yours in waiting
Peter
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