In the wake of Lord Geidt’s letter to Boris Johnson and now his additional explanation, please write to your MP via Write to Them. The only way is ethics.
“Conscious of my own obligations under the Seven Principles of Public Life (including integrity), I could not be a party to advising on any potential law-breaking”. Lord Geidt
Here is a template letter you can adapt:
Dear Boris Johnson,
I am a scientist with 50 years’ experience in academia and industry and am well positioned to take on your recently vacant role of ethics advisor.
The company I worked for before retiring required all staff from the CEO to the most junior employees to sign up to a code of ethics and take an annual on-line ethics training course followed by an online test – which was reviewed by their managers.
The test covered such things as bullying, dishonesty with e.g. expense claims, taking gifts and other inducements from suppliers, racist behaviour and so on.
This policy was rigorously enforced by the management team, as was the ethics hotline which was a widely advertised toll-free telephone service for employees, run by an organization which was completely independent from the company, ensuring there was no bias or favouritism.
It would appear that your current set-up is lacking in many, if not all of these critical requirements, and hence I am sure I can help and advise you.
Available to order direct from ebay – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com. Also on Amazon at a higher price.
Re-Boot Britain is a practical methodology on changing minds about Europe and Brexit. Find it on Amazon or direct from the author via reboot@brexitrage.com
Private Eyelines : Have I Got Fake Brexit News for EU is just released. Humour is one of the few weapons this Government cannot take away from us. It’s a historical and hysterical record of #Brexit and one that holds this #fascist government to account in ways that spreadsheets and graphs do not. The book helps us deconstruct the fake news of populist media from “The Son” to “The Daily Maul” “Excess” and “Telegravda”. Grab copies for yourself and your Brexity friends now on Amazon or order discount copies direct from the author by e-mailing us at reboot@academy-of-rock.co.uk Here is the book blurb below:
Satire reaches the parts that spreadsheets, graphs and logic do not. Brexit provides a rich dark seam of tragicomedy in a Kafkaesque world of gaslighting, shapeshifting and shameless lies. We live in desperately sad times. But simply drowning in the sadness of Brexit does not help us deal with paranoid populist politicians. Bittersweet levity cuts through people’s minds to their visceral core. Simply stated, satire heals.
Populist media brainwashed leave voters to believe in Brexit unicorns. I tried my hand at parodying these media to expose the lies on which the Brexit hydra reared its many ugly heads. I found that people rather liked my gutterpress pages. Some even believed that they were real!
To change minds on Brexit, it is not sufficient to break the parliamentary paralysis which continues to enable the slow-motion destruction of Britain. Nor is demographic change, aka death, a success recipe. We must actively work on the huddled masses. People almost literally eat lies for breakfast from a biased populist media, owned by people who seem just a little bit too friendly with Vladimir Putin. Private Eyelines opens up the conversation anew with Brexiteers with buyers’ remorse, or Remainers numbed into submission by six years of bullshit and bullying from our so-called political leaders.
Peter Cook is a unique combination of scientist, business consultant and musician. As a 60’s child, his mum made him watch Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, saying “it would be good for him”. It wasn’t! Instead, Peter built a solid career bringing life-saving treatments for diabetes and HIV / AIDS to the world, 18 years tutoring MBAs in academia, writing books and 28 years running a business. His early exposure to Cook and Moore suddenly came to the fore after 24 June 2016, as satire met real life through Brexit. His mis-spent youth and creativity have been rejuvenated through campaigning, writing, music, film making and speaking about our rightful place in Europe. It was good for him after all. Mum was right!
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It’s been a week of car crash events with Boris Johnson. Somewhat unbelievably he was asked to deliver the reading at St Paul’s Cathedral on the occasion of the Queen’s jubilee. We reconsidered his speech through the values espoused by the Bible and its apostles : Mogg, Truss, Dorries, Madonna et al. This was the result. For complete clarity, we felt sorry for the Queen having to put up with Johnson and Brexit. Whatever your views on the monarchy, the Queen’s 70 years of service stand in stark contrast to Johnson’s spirit of self-service. Watch the 2 minute video and read the “Tory Bible quotes” below:
Bible quotes:
“Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in his speech and is a fool” Gove 48.52
“The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: … drunkenness, orgies, and Instagram. Those who live by selfies will not inherit the kingdom of God.”Truss 78.6
“Whoever loves Somerset wealth is never satisfied with Brexit”Mogg 6.31
“Whatever it takes” Sunak 20.21
“Whatever” Liam Gallagher 19.94
“Iwas hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me in Rwanda.” Patel 52.48
“There are six things the LORD hates: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, Brexit, disaster capitalism, spaffing and hands that shed innocent blood” Johnson 20.22
“Let your requests for media censorship be made known to God” Dorries 6.66
“God save the Queen … from Brexit and Johnson” Ellwood 20.22
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In this edition, like Prince, Madonna and the Tory party, we see no divisions between sex, religion and politics. Hold on tight! It may be a bumpy ride. This is an extract from our next book. Buy the existing one here. In honour of Prince’s comment on politics we named this post Sign O’ The Times.
FACT: Jacob Rees-Mogg[1] admitted that Brexit is an act of self-harm. Speaking at Folkestone last week, Mogg admitted that he would once again delay the introduction of border checks, as it would lead to food and supply shortages. Having invested millions of pounds in infrastructure and systems, it seems that the port authorities are rather cross with Mr Mogg. Meanwhile the minister for the 18th century drinks port in his mansion. We do not know Mr Mogg’s views on sex with one’s nanny. Open borders sound good in principle, but how do they achieve the primal Brexit ambition of keeping foreigners out, alongside contraband and other consequences of ‘letting go of control’?
FICTION: Although Liz Truss is probably one of the main users of Instagram, to promote her selfies in her bid to be Prime Minister, it is not true that she has been appointed head of the platform. She continues to exploit war in Ukraine as a fashion accessory.
FACT: Our reporter confirms that Neil Parish MP is innocent. We investigated how he came to be accidentally watching porn whist at work. Here is the sequence:
1.Parish Googled ‘huge elections’ but made a mistake when typing. This is what should have happened:
2. Parish inadvertently substituted the letter ‘l’ with an ‘r’ and instead Googled ‘huge erections’. It’s an easy mistake to make, even though the letter l is nowhere near the letter r on the keyboard:
3. Then Parish would have gone through all the search results and eventually found himself on Pornhub. It’s quite obvious to see how he made this catalogue of errors.
4. Neil Parish said he was Googling for tractors, as he is a farmer. Even then, it is simple to see how he quickly ended up on a porn site. Parish would have typed ‘huge erections massey ferguson’ into Google and then switched to videos. This is what he would have found:
It becomes clear that Neil Parish was a passive victim of mis-spelling tractor related words whilst at work. Undoubtedly this ‘flick of the wrist’ led him into penis-related peril. Dom Jolly summed up the situation differently:
“While attempting to purchase a Massey Ferguson 2245 4WD I inadvertently stumbled across a website called Extraordinary Buttholes. Once I realised my mistake I immediately logged off, twenty minutes later. This should put the matter to bed.”
FICTION: Although Nadine Dorries[2] wants to privatise Channel 4 and The BBC to silence all criticism of far-right politics, dumb dumb Dorries has so far not threatened to replace them with 24/7 ‘downstreaming’ of porn movies. Give it time. I personally don’t want to see Mark Francois and Kate Hoey on ‘Naked Attraction’, but maybe I’m a prude. The obsession with driving all criticism out of public life is yet another hallmark of Brexit sponsored fascism.
FACT: Although Boris Johnson did not use the words ‘Fcuk Jesus’, he did attack the Archbishop of Canterbury the other week for his criticism of Priti Patel’s ‘concentration camp’ policy on people fleeing from war zones. Johnson did say ‘fuck business’, so he may as well have gone the whole hog with the almighty.
FACT: Priti Patel is not a Christian fundamentalist, although her father was a UKIP fundamentalist when he stood for the UKIP party in 2013. Priti has broken the ministerial code several times, which is ungodly. Killing people who are fleeing from terror is also not mentioned in the scriptures of any religion as far as we can tell.
Tory Porn Hub – picture by The Sun
Tory Porn Hub – Picture by The Sun
FACT: British Virgin Islands leader Andrew Fahie was arrested in the US for alleged drug trafficking and money laundering. The reaction from Downing Street was to send a minister and suggest that the islands be taken back to direct rule[3] due to corruption. Perhaps they would apply the same standards to Westminster?
Vote the Tories out this Thursday at the local elections.
[1] Jacob Rees-Mogg www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/apr/29/jacob-rees-mogg-brexit-disaster-leaving-eu-boris-johnson
I did an analysis of the car crash Mumsnet v Boris Johnson interview using the medium of the BBC Radio 4 programme “Just a Minute”, with apologies to Nicholas Parsons.
Johnson is doing the reading at St Paul’s today. Apart from talking about honesty and thou shalt not commit adultery, his reading will mainly consist of Rule Brittania, Rule Boris, spaff-waff, bazookas, Jubilee, jubilation, jubinobs party, no party, our party, my party, sovereignty … balderdash, bunkum, hokum, pokum, where’s Carrie, who’s Carrie, ah Carrie you make me feel so young Jennifer, sorry Carrie, God save me, I mean God Save the Queen; whilst roughing up his mop (hair, not wife or current lover 🤮🤮🤮) With thanks to Jackie Brook and BillieJoeMcAll on Twitter.
Well worth your time
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God save the Queen from Boris Johnson, Brexit and Prince Andrew. Our latest edition of ‘The Son’ previews a weekend of flagshagging. Just in case you are confused, here is a fact and faction decoder:
FACT: There have been bunting shortages[1] for the jubilee! It does not come from the EU though as intimated in some circles …
FICTION: A pint is not 562 ml. It is 568.26125 ml. Millilitres are not the product of EU law but the result if SI units. Lions are not English even though they appear on t-shirts. FACT: A pint is not a standard measure as a US pint is not the same as a UK pint with a US pint coming in at 473 ml. The obsession of the British government with imperial measures is simply another piece of ‘red meat’ to feed to Brexit voters at the jubilee!
FICTION: Sue Gray has never appeared in Eastenders, nor have the Mitchell brothers removed her organs in an East End styled murder. We are pretty sure that Boris Johnson would have her removed if he thought he could get away with the dirty deed however.
FACT: Priti Patel has not ordered teachers to bear arms in schools as yet. Give her time …
FACT: Liverpool football fans were held up at Dover for hours[2], as Brexit border controls started to bite hard. Is this what you voted for when he said we would be “taking back control of our borders”?
FACT: Boris Johnson has cancelled the part of the Ministerial code that holds him responsible if he breaks the law. The law literally no longer applies to him. Is this what you voted for when he said we would be “taking back control of our laws”? Priti Patel continues to try to cancel refugees through sponsored drowning and sending to re-education camps in Rwanda. Culture secretary Nadine Dorries is trying to cancel culture. It’s all a bit Reginald Perrin really. If the going gets tough, Kim Jon Bojo will likely cancel general elections.
FACT: Quite subtlely, Conservative ministers have started to blame Ukraine for domestic problems when the feed through to our economy is largely not related to problems in Ukraine as yet. Rishi Sunak did it at the so-called emergency budget on 26 May 2022 by stating that 80% of our problems were ‘global’. Horseshit. Brexit has made an impact of some 4-5% on inflation, all of this man-made and therefore avoidable. Lee Anderson inferred that the poor were to blame for poverty. Subtle mentions of Africa in relation to Monkeypox cement the idea that the disease has an ethnic component for feeble racist minds.
FACT: Ireland is not to blame for Brexit. It is wholly the product of our own government. We own it. It’s ours. 100%. Priti Patel has used the spectre of a repeat of the Irish potato famine[3] to feed weak English minds and distract them from the plain facts of Brexit.
God save the Queen from Johnson! Download Prince Andrew is a Sweaty Nonce to tell Boris Johnson and Justin Welby that child abuse is NOT OK. Mumsnet ate Boris Johnson for breakfast the other day. Our analysis of the encounter via the medium of “Just a Minute” follows.
It’s the Queen’s platinum jubilee and the Brexit gammon are high. On Saturday 28 May I met one of the Brexit flagshaggers at 7am in the morning, at my train station in Kent, en-route to Brighton to give a masterclass on rejoining the EU. I decided to perform a miniature Street Brexorcism. The conversation went something like this:
HIM: Oh, I suppose you are off to one of those remoaner protests in London again, having fucked the country up (he had noticed my Break Brexit Before Brexit Breaks Britain t-shirt).
ME: Not exactly. I’m off to talk to a bunch of entitled lefty twats in Brighton about my latest book.
HIM: That’s not very nice.
ME: Nah, it’s OK. People in Brighton can probably afford to ride the storm of Brexit. It’s the people who live here in Medway like you and me that I feel sorry for. They must bear the consequences.
HIM: Nah. We’d have been alright if it had not been you lot stopping us getting Brexit done properly.
ME: But you have a pretty hard Brexit. Boris popped in the oven and it’s done. What did you get from Brexit by the way?
HIM (dithering slightly and getting a bit angry): It’s too soon to say (obviously he could name nothing).
ME: OK, but what did you want from Brexit?
HIM (calming a little): Well, I wanted local democracy rather than being told what to do?
ME: Have you got that?
HIM (confused): Too soon to say. You lot spoiled it anyway.
ME: We can agree that we have not got more local democracy. But you give me too much power by assuming that I can change anything. We are all ignored by politicians. I’m sure you realise that Brexit was not for us. It was for them. You do realise that Johnson cancelled democracy yesterday when he put himself beyond the law by cancelling the ministerial code?
HIM (he did not know about the changes to the ministerial code): I don’t care about Boris. He can fuck off.
ME: Anyway, I must be off to talk to the ‘entitled lefty pricks’ of Brighton. Nice to speak.
HIM: That’s rude. You are not going to call them that are you?
ME: Of course. They know who they are, as we do. I’m just intelligent scum. Anyway, thank you for speaking with me.
I met Simon Calder again on Saturday at St Pancras en route to Paris. Had a great conversation about The #Beatles and #Brexit. He pointed out that all the queues were down to Brexit
— Reboot Britain – Rage Against The Brexit Machine (@BrexitRage) May 31, 2022
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In this edition of the Daily Excess we focus on the effects of Brexit on food price rises and the extraordinary statements by Tories blaming the poor for their plight.
FACT: Lee Anderson claimed that people on low wages were not able to cook economically and said that he could cook a meal from scratch for 30 pence[1]. The Trussell Trust replied: “Cooking from scratch won’t help families keep the lights on or put food on the table, if they don’t have enough money in their pockets”.
FACT: A snickers bar, a curly wurly, a finger of fudge or a raw egg are not a substantial meal. Remember however that a Scotch egg was classified as a substantial meal[2] when Rishi Sunak wanted to encourage people to ‘eat out to help out’ in 2020. However the benchmark price of a Scotch egg in a pub is £5.00 and it would have to be consumed with a pint of beer to be considered a ‘substantial meal’. This is somewhat more than 30 pence.
FICTION: Various Tory MPs have started blaming Ukraine for food price rises, when, apart from just a few items, these price rises have not fed through the food chain at the time of writing in May 2022. Food inflation due to Brexit[3] accounts for some 6% and, in some areas such as meat, the rises have been substantial. It is despicable behaviour by Tory MPs to blame Ukraine but, of course, totally true to form to blame someone or something else.
FACT: By the same token, they have blamed oil and gas rises on Ukraine when these price rises were factored in before the invasion of Ukraine by Russia. In fact, money saving expert Martin Lewis[4] warned as early as late 2021 on the matter.
FICTION: Liz Truss has not so far recommended that the poor begin cooking their pets to cope with food poverty. Give her time. She did recently get her picture taken with Larry the cat, perhaps to improve her popularity with old ladies, or perhaps in preparation for Larry’s sacrifice at some point in the future.
FICTION: If Boris had written The F Plan diet, the word F would not have stood for fibre! Nor has Boris ever had a meal for 30 pence.
FACT: The recent emergency budget measures set out by Rishi Sunak will not address the needs of people at the edge of poverty through Brexit assisted price rises. It is yet another example of a ‘too little, too late’ strategy by the Conservative government.
FACT: Grilled wasps are neither tasty nor nutritious.
People say, what’s the point of writing to MPs? Well, other people read the letters. It informs their views on whether they are going to lose elections and so on. Everything counts. Here’s a cracker from one of our team. Please use of modify the letter to write to your MP. Find your MP email address at Write to Them.
Dear Ms Whately,
The Sue Gray report has now been published, so I would now like to hear your thoughts.on the matter.
We knew before the report was issued that the rules that applied to the general population were completely ignored by the PM.
It now turns out that the extent of rule breaking was far worse than originally thought.
We, the UK population, now know with absolute certainty that the PM is a liar, so I want to know if he has your continued support?
If you do still support him, I would like to know why? I sincerely hope that you don’t, as this will make you complicit in the corruption and law-breaking.
The PM has said he will not resign, so do you think that a fine from the police for his law-breaking is an appropriate consequence for his actions?
I hope I get something better than a stock reply from you. This is important, and a whitewash of what has been happening at the heart of our government is unacceptable.
As my elected MP, your integrity is under very close scrutiny.
Yours sincerely
Dr. Bob
Nothing succeeds better than the glare of public transparency. If you cannot get any satisfaction from your MP in private, Tweet them in public or send the letter to your local newspaper or radio station. While we are here, read our latest newsletter and join us on Saturday 28 May in Brighton or online via ZOOM.
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