Here is the spreadsheet of how much it takes to rent a Tory. The surprising finding is just how little it takes to gain influence with these people with Teresa Villiers at just £2000 if paid in Roubles. Times must be hard …
Our chancellor costs just £6000 for example. He is currently serving beer and full English Brexits at Wetherspoons for hardly any inducements.
If you want access to the very top, you might want to try something a little more exotic, with Brandon Lewis at circa £50K.
Write to your chosen MP and make some gentle enquiries about the money. Ask them if they will offer you personal services for a knockdown price.
We have just produced these materials for the Tory Party Conference. Please share them widely:
Tory Brexit Scum is a Country and Western Punk Rock song by the band X RAY BREX. Download the album via Bandcamp. PG rated.
And just for balance, we conducted an interview with BBC One News this week. We made the point that support for Labour was conditional on them opposing Brexit, which is perfectly possible, despite a load of bullshit from some areas of Labour. The BBC cut our comment on Brexit, naturally, but it was mentioned by Rosie Duffield. See below:
I don’t really think that Boris Johnson deserves more than one minute to reflect upon his legacy so I made several videos in less than one minute on this subject. In fact James O’Brien summed up the detail so well that I don’t feel i could better that. In summary we are talking about:
Broken promises on Brexit (It is NOT “DONE”, it will consume a lifetime of wasted time and money to continue the pretence). To read the full history, read Private Eyelines – Have I Got Fake Brexit News for EU and Reboot Britain – Strategies and skills to change minds on Europe and Brexit. Remainers and Rejoiners seriously need to up their skills if we are to win the next battle with the populists. Never forget that we lost two elections and a referendum, however inconvenient that fact is. Yesterday I delivered copies of these books to Sir Alan Sugar, Richard Branson and James O’Brien. I wish to send them to Hugh Grant next if anyone can help with this.
Outright LIES on COVID (Johnson was late to the party when others were listening to experts. He conducted an experiment with genocide by placing infected NHS patients into care homes, causing 10’s of 1000’s of unnecessary deaths). The list goes on. These were political CHOICES and not inevitable. Johnson has been lying ever since he was born. Why would we expect any different from him?
Industrial levels of distraction or dead cat politics, the latest one being the “kettle”. Even the kettle story is not correct. If you want your kettle to boil faster, descaling and using the correct amount of water will make bigger impacts on your bill. £20 is of course not even significant when compared with the actual energy price rises, but Johnson assumes that people cannot add up.
I don’t believe the Tories will call an election in order to lose their majority but if they do, we’ll need to do better than sharing memes on fb. The Daily Maul has set another dead cat loose on this subject today. Preparation is better than regret. Learn the skills to persuade people outside your bubble to change their voting behaviour here.
The recent news that Trump is under investigation is yet another point on the curve towards improved world leadership. To misquote the band name : Populism will eat itself !
In world that needs collaborative leadership to face complex problems such as climate change, famine, war, migration and so on, we seem to have opted for more didactic leaders with catchy but meaningless slogans. In the UK we have Brexit populism. In the US we have Trump’s version of isolationist politics, and so on.
This is why I coined the phrase ‘Brexorcism’ to change minds in the UK about Brexit. The skills involved are just as applicable in other theatres of populism.
Last week, I was asked to speak on the need to turn back from populism and discuss the contributions from psychology, sociology and therapeutic approaches to wake people up to more long-term and global outlooks on our politics. You can view the masterclass below.
I also spoke on the role of satire, humour and catharsis as a way into the most closed minds on political issues, based on our book Private Eyelines.
To get hold of the books ‘Reboot Britain’ and ‘Private Eyelines’ please go to Rage Against The Brexit Machine or write direct to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
EXTRACT from the book Private Eyelines. I’ve noticed that everything is UP in the post-Brexit sunny uplands world. What could have possibly caused this?
Costs of children’s shoes are UP by 20% shortly. Jacob Rees-Mogg promised that shoe prices would plummet after Brexit. Oh dear, Jake was wrong.
Inflation in UK is UP at over 6%. This is exceptional.
Gas prices are UP by 54% In France they are UP by 4% France levied a windfall tax on energy companies using their own sovereign powers. In Brexit Britain our Brexit freedoms seem to have prevented this. How strange?
Hunger is UP.
Food bank usage in Britain is UP, but food bank donations are DOWN.
COVID cases are UP. This is preventing the NHS from treating people with other serious conditions.
DEATHS will be UP but Boris Johnson says that COVID is DOWN. Of course, he is WRONG.
Russian influence is UP.
Sunak’s tax dodging is UP. His holidays in California are UP. More sunny uplands.
Bullshit from the Go Home Office about the Ukrainian refugee settlement scheme is UP.
Queues on the M20 / M2 in Kent are UP. P&O Ferries are only in part to blame. Since we have no resilience in our port systems after Brexit, only a small knock is needed to bring the system to a standstill.
The Brexit IT system is UP the cack. This does not help, but the underlying cause of delays in Kent is Brexit and not the IT system per se. if we did not have Brexit we would not have the crappy IT system and we would not have gridlock in Kent.
Urination is Kent is up as drivers have no place to go (freedom of movement and urination).
National Insurance is UP.
Sea levels are UP.
Hospital parking fees are UP.
Looting is UP.
Tory ethics are DOWN.
Labour is UP.
Tax is UP.
The game is UP.
With thanks to all at Re-Boot Britain for this list. The sunny uplands can only increase. This list is an extract from Private Eyelines.
Private Eyelines : Have I Got Fake Brexit News for EU is just released. Humour is one of the few weapons this Government cannot take away from us. It’s a historical and hysterical record of #Brexit and one that holds this #fascist government to account in ways that spreadsheets and graphs do not. The book helps us deconstruct the fake news of populist media from “The Son” to “The Daily Maul” “Excess” and “Telegravda”. Grab copies for yourself and your Brexity friends now on Amazon or order discount copies direct from the author by e-mailing us at email@example.com Here is the book blurb below:
Satire reaches the parts that spreadsheets, graphs and logic do not. Brexit provides a rich dark seam of tragicomedy in a Kafkaesque world of gaslighting, shapeshifting and shameless lies. We live in desperately sad times. But simply drowning in the sadness of Brexit does not help us deal with paranoid populist politicians. Bittersweet levity cuts through people’s minds to their visceral core. Simply stated, satire heals.
Populist media brainwashed leave voters to believe in Brexit unicorns. I tried my hand at parodying these media to expose the lies on which the Brexit hydra reared its many ugly heads. I found that people rather liked my gutterpress pages. Some even believed that they were real!
To change minds on Brexit, it is not sufficient to break the parliamentary paralysis which continues to enable the slow-motion destruction of Britain. Nor is demographic change, aka death, a success recipe. We must actively work on the huddled masses. People almost literally eat lies for breakfast from a biased populist media, owned by people who seem just a little bit too friendly with Vladimir Putin. Private Eyelines opens up the conversation anew with Brexiteers with buyers’ remorse, or Remainers numbed into submission by six years of bullshit and bullying from our so-called political leaders.
Peter Cook is a unique combination of scientist, business consultant and musician. As a 60’s child, his mum made him watch Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, saying “it would be good for him”. It wasn’t! Instead, Peter built a solid career bringing life-saving treatments for diabetes and HIV / AIDS to the world, 18 years tutoring MBAs in academia, writing books and 28 years running a business. His early exposure to Cook and Moore suddenly came to the fore after 24 June 2016, as satire met real life through Brexit. His mis-spent youth and creativity have been rejuvenated through campaigning, writing, music, film making and speaking about our rightful place in Europe. It was good for him after all. Mum was right!
Turn despair into action. Join us every Monday at 8pm on ZOOM via Reboot Britain.
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