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Category: Fish

Food fighters

Food fighters

Our latest article for Gina Miller’s True and Fair party previews their policy on food, water and the environment. Read the whole article here. A taster is below:

After World War II there was a necessary focus on food security in Britain, informed by ration books and virtual bankruptcy of the country. But we forget quite quickly and the National Farmers Union reported that self-sufficiency levels in fruit & vegetables fell steadily since the mid-1980s, from 78% to 64%. Britain imports 46% of its food and this may explain why our Government has delayed Brexit border checks five times since 2020 for fear of food shortages and, ultimately, food fighters. Our lack of resilience is not a sustainable position, particularly for a nation that is now isolated from the safety of belonging to the biggest trading bloc in the world. We also operate in a world where food and water will become precious assets into the 21st Century due to global warming.

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Brexit Freedoms

Some of my Remoaner friends keep telling me there are no Brexit Freedoms. They are not looking hard enough. I have come up with a long list of Brexit Freedoms to counterbalance the cost of Brexit, currently standing at an eye watering £128 BILLION, and predicted to outweigh the cost of COVID multiple times into the future. So, doomsayers, prepare for a shock !!

Pints

For years I have been compelled to go into English pubs and say in a weakened voice “Can I have 564 ml of Champagne please?” No longer. I can now stride in proud and say “Stout Yeoman, I want a pint of foaming English brown beer in a straight glass”. And it has a little crown on the side. As I drink the hoppy infusion, I am reminded of are Queen and Prince Andrew. It just gets better and better … Soon, we’ll be able to have English Lions back on our eggs … HM Government state that imperial units like pounds and ounces are widely valued in the UK and are a core part of many people’s British identity. I don’t know anyone of my own age that can count in stones, pounds and ounces. My sense is that this is a LIE.

Brexit has failed UK Tour

Fifty pence

We now have the Brexit fifty pence piece back, although I confess I have not seen one of late. But it signifies the fact that we now have the Pound back as our currency. I did speak with a woman who told me that her dad said that we no longer had the Pound before Brexit. Did you notice that? Buy one of the rare 50 pence pieces on e-bay and support our work to Re-Boot Britain. Outrageous prices!! 🙂

Book
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Brexit freedoms o’ fish

Scottish Salmon fishermen report on Farming Today that Europeans still want our salmon, although exports have been hit to EU countries due to Brexit. Since Scottish Salmon is a major Scottish export, salmon fishermen are able to hire entire containers to ship their goods to Europe, reducing the mountain of Brexit paperwork and other costs in their segment of the fishing industry. Sadly this benefit does not exist for other fish varieties and the predicted decline in fishing continues, as predicted by the Remainiacs. And let’s remember this is Scottish Salmon. Once Scotland have their independence, they will take this benefit with them. Scottish Salmon and Whisky are major exports from Scotland.

Against the backdrop of the BBC’s nationalistic drive to back Brexit on Farming Today, The Food and Drink Federation showed that Scotland’s whisky and salmon exports were down by 11% and 6.4% respectively since 2019, with the UK’s total exports of food and drink was down by £2.7 billion (-15.9%) in the first three quarters of 2021 – with £2.4bn (-23.7%) directly from a drop in sales to the EU. It’s not necessarily true that the salmon are swimming against the tide.

Brexit Fish Freedoms
Cod only knows …
Brexit benefits
Helpful comparisons …

Irish unification

The current troubles with Edwin Poots and the DUP draw Irish unification ever closer. The DUP seek to throw away 30 years of relative peace on the island of Ireland by asking the Government to break international law on the Northern Ireland Protocol, a bill which they signed up to. I cannot comprehend the nuclear levels of two faced stupidity being brought to bear on the people of Ireland by the DUP. It seems that plans are underway for a cross-border administration in the wake of the breakdown of the Stormont Government. Meanwhile trade between Ireland and Northern Ireland is UP after Brexit with trade between NI and mainland Britain DOWN. Our Brexit scenarios predict that this will continue to a point where the vast majority of people see the economic advantages of a united Ireland outweigh the religious and political forces that divide the island.

Blue tape

Brexit is reckoned to SAVE £1 BILLION in cutting red tape. It is not specified where this will happen, but we presume it will be in a bonfire on worker protections, food, environmental and other regulations, making our products less safe and opening up Victorian levels of exploitation and climate damage. At the same time, The FT says that Brexit has ADDED £7 BILLION of red tape. We only have to ask lorry drivers, farmers, fishermen et al. Taking Back Control never specified who would gain that control and plainly it was the Government through moral hazard and a return to Victorian England. In case of doubt, £7 bn is more than £1 bn.

Read the Government’s LIES on Brexit at Brexit Freedom Bill

Brexit simplification in action.

Vaccination vacillation

Boris Johnson claims that the speed of our vaccination programme was due to Brexit Freedoms. Sadly it is not true. The BBC reported that we have been able to authorise the supply of this vaccine using provisions under European law. Johnson simply acted first in a desperate move to buy up the vaccine and starve the rest of the world from supplies, like the little boy in the playground who kept all the sweets and then realised that nobody wanted to play with him. By the way, the British vaccine was developed by Turkish and German scientists. I’m surprised that Brexiteers want such a “foreign invasion”.

Brexit freedoms : Rich pickings

Undoubtedly Brexit has caused an exodus of foreign workers, in part due to red tape and associated costs, but, in the main because, England has once again become a racist country under Brexit. Arguably, we did not need Brexit Freedoms to “take back control” of the fields, lorry parks, bus stations etc. I await the queues of Brexit voting OAPs to pick for Britain, drive for Britain, stack shelves for Britain and so on. So far, we have been underwhelmed with applications from “Dad’s Brexit Army”. Meanwhile illegal migration proceeds, due to our Government’s attempts to kill people who flee from terror.

Left outside alone to die by Priti Patel and Suella Braverman.

Sovereignty

The Government claim that the Brexit Freedoms of sovereignty are many and various in their 105 page document. I can only find wind. Grab your bag of Brexit Sovrinty here.

If you like this article you will LOVE the book – Click to read

Blue passports

Undoubtedly the showstopper in Brexit Freedoms has been the blue passport. We will pay £30 per family and hours of queuing to benefit from this Brexit Freedom, but clearly it’s worth it. In case of doubt we were always able to have blue passports, even if they were made in France. The Government paper on this is simply FAKE NEWS:

Brexit Freedoms
LIES, LIES, LIES. To support our work on the truth about Brexit, click on the lies above.

Funding the NHS

The Government document claims that £57 BILLION is to be given to the NHS. They were promised £18.2 BILLION EVERY YEAR. You do not need a calculator to realise that the £57 billion is actually smaller than £18.2 billion every year. Go compare.

State control

France recently decided to make EDF Energy subsidise energy price hikes. So energy consumers in France will get a 4% price hike whilst UK consumers will experience a 54% price hike. And France is in the EU. How then were France able to do this if they are “controlled by an EU superstate”? See Social Care for more details on our lies about the need to raise national insurance. How was Viktor Orban able to buy his vaccines from Russia whilst being part of the EU? The EU superstate argument is vacuous.

Tampon freedom

We are now free of the Tampon Tax!! Women may rest safe in the knowledge that the VAT man is not taking a percentage of their periodic blood losses. Except that even this is a LIE-Let me explain. The trouble with so-called “tampon freedom” is that this arrangement was made in 2016, whilst we were a member of the EU. We have NOT been prevented from removing tax on tampons by our EU membership. UPDATE : the 5% tampon tax was only reduced by 1%. Brexit is literally bleeding Britain to death …

Brexit Tampon Freedoms
LIE Lets.

Amidst the other Brexit Freedoms that The Government paper puts forward that we could not do as members of EU are:

  • Giving up smoking – really?
  • Adding more arsenic into children’s food.
  • Healthy eating – who knew that the EU were stopping this?
  • Ending the throw away culture – Britain leads the world in throw away culture.
  • Faster HGV licence approval by reducing the difficulty of HGV tests, so more dangerous OAP lorry drivers on the roads.
  • Simpler, better railways – this means not doing the Northern leg of HS2.
  • Pints of French champagne.
  • Use of the 105 page document for redecoration of 10 Downing Street when Boris Johnson leaves.

Click to read other articles: 

Sunny UPLANDS

P&O Ferries and Brexit

Brexit and WW III

Death of Democracy in UK

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Brexit Wars

BREXIT WARS

It seems that we have reached the stage of the Brexit Wars. We knew it would come. This is the first time that a country has declared war on itself and Britain leads the world in this area. Here is our latest Daily Maul page on Brexit Wars, with a fact and fiction checker below, just in case you cannot tell the difference.

Click image to read our Brexit satire book on Amazon.

In case of doubt …

FICTION : Cod have not learned to speak, although they speak more sense than Boris Johnson when he says that The Royal Navy is to be converted to the Royal Fish Fingering Fleet in readiness for the Brexit Wars. I prepared a new advert for The Royal Navy to help them recruit First Fish Officers.

Brexit Wars
Cod Wars.

FACT : Scotch Egg sales have risen on an unprecedented basis.

FACT : Boris Johnson and David Frost did look like a sack of potatoes when they attended the dinner with Ursula Von der Leyen and Michel Barnier, who looked stylish. Even cats were dismayed at the contrast.

New Look for Johnson
The slobs formerly known as Frost and Johnson out vogued by some cats and some dignified leaders.

FACT : The Brexit Microwave deal has not been delivered. This was an election promise. For an explantion of how we got here in five minutes see “Brexit in five minutes”:

Talking Heads – Steve Peer interviews Peter Cook.

FICTION : Priti Patel is NOT re-enacting the Irish Potato Famine in practice. However, she is in principle by threatening trade wars.

FACT : Kent County Council is not ready for Brexit. Kent is set to become the Toilet of England. See our appearance on “Have I Got News For You”:

Watch Have I Got News For EU.

FACT : Matt Hancock stood alone in cabinet, asking for the COVID vaccine to be prioritised. Perhaps we should thank him for standing up to idiots and Dominic Cummings. We are not sure he actually cried as it seemed to be interspersed with laughter. The search for onions continues.

Tears of a clown.

FACT : No deal Brexit and a Brexit deal are virtually indistinguishable from a practical viewpoint. Brexit can be stopped or suspended if political will changes. See our interviews with MEPs.

Sajjad Karim, Conservative.
Molly Scott-Cato, Green.
Julie Ward, Labour.

Write to opposition MPs. Ask them to oppose all forms of Brexit. Silence is assent.

Brexit Wars. What are they good for? Absolutely nothing.

Huh !!
Cod in Bitter Sauce – Image Cold War Steve.
The Codfather

Mark François lives

Mark François lives ! And it’s Christmas ! Praise the lord. I had been worried about Mark’s wellbeing ever since he disappeared at the beginning of August. I had feared that he might have been kidnapped by angry Remainers in his constituency of Rayleigh, or, worse still, had been arrested for a minor offence such as shoplifting. Mark stood down from his post as the leader of the ERG and disappeared from public life. This is unusual for a soldier. Mark is partly responsible for the decision to patrol the English channel with gunboats to protect English Cod and I think that should be applauded.

The Codfather. Mark Francois.

In other news, the Police have dropped their investigation into the Tory rapist. Mark had been widely thought to be under suspicion for this, but the evidential threshold for prosecution was not met.

The law is the law and I’m pleased to welcome Mark back to public life. Mark François lives to fight another day. If you feel like me, that we should mark this development, I’ve created a unique Christmas gift that you can send to Mark via e-mail mark.francois.mp@parliament.uk It’s a remake of the Plastique Bertrand classique “Ca Plane Pour Moi” as “Francois Pour Moi“.

GIFT the song to Mark François with a personal message. The song is FREE. Find the gifting option at Bandcamp.

If you like Francois Pour Moi, please buy “The Brexit Party Album” for friends and enemies across the world – it’s the party album to end all tomorrow’s Brexit parties. All proceeds go towards anti-Brexit activism and to help sustain our musical activities.

Click to buy The Brexit Party album.

Check out the video with a nod to Cold War Steve and Barbara Windsor.

You are the King of the gammon …

Lyrics

Poupee le celophane. Mark François snorts cocaine

Brexit, le vache (m) qui rit. Fucking the economy

You are the King of the Gammon. Hou Hou Hou Hou. You are the King of the Gammon

Trapped on the Essex plains. Priti vacant, pretty vain

Wanking off to Brexit dreams. Fishing for some foreign bream

You are the King of the Divan. Hou Hou Hou Hou. You are the King of the Divan

François pour moi, François pour moi, François pour moi, moi, moi, moi François pour moi, Hou Hou Hou Hou, François pour moi

I want it hard, Brexit dream. Jacob Mogg, I like his cream

Well gel, I’m from Rayleigh. Carping on about the sea

You are the King of the Gammon. Hou Hou Hou Hou. You are the King of the Gammon

François pour moi, François pour moi, François pour moi, moi, moi, moi François pour moi, Hou Hou Hou Hou, François pour moi, Innit

Lost in Essex, well reem. Touched a chick to make her scream

S.A.S, he’s well extreme. Holding on to Brexit dreams

You are the King of the Gammon. Hou Hou Hou Hou. You are the King of the Gammon

François pour moi, François pour moi, François pour moi, moi, moi, moi François pour moi, Hou Hou Hou Hou, François pour moi

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Looking after No 1

Looking after No 1

As Christmas comes, it is traditional to think of others rather than Looking after No 1. Selfishness or Looking after No 1 gave us Brexit. So, it warms my heart to discover that Dominic Cummings has taken a £45 000 pay rise. I imagine that this is a bonus for Dom’s “leadership” in breaking lockdown rules, by driving 500 miles to take an eyesight test. This, while Boris Johnson asks public sector workers to take a pay freeze. Yes, Dom deserves is £45 000 and the nurses, doctors, carers, council workers et al deserve nothing at all. Looking after No 1 really works.

Our remake of Durham Town. Poignant.

It’s even more gratifying to learn that Jacob Rees-Mogg, Minister for the 18th Century, has condemned UNICEF’s attempt look after others, after they tried to help the world’s most vulnerable children. I understand that Mr Mogg intends to start workhouses for these children rather than rely on handouts from damned charities.

Jacob is a disgrace.

Herd Immunity

As the COVID R rate for Britain rises to 1.1-1.2, it is heartwarming to learn that the virus does not visit Private schools. Eton College is closed but state schools remain open. I confidently predict that we are headed for another national lockdown to mask problems from “Getting Brexit Done”. Johnson may lack competence in many things but he is brilliant at Looking after No 1. Locking us down after Christmas and using the law to enforce the measures will ensure that people are unable or unwilling to protest or riot against Brexit.

Already, we have 20 mile queues in Kent on the roads. We are also told that the lorry parks promised by Kent County Council will not be ready for months, due to “unplanned rain”.

Operation Pisspot.
Have I Got News For You features “Operation Pisspot”.

Devaluation of the truth

We have also been let inside the not so secret recipes of the Conservative Party recently. Wellingborough Conservative Party advise that sometimes it’s better to lie quickly rather than tell the truth slowly. Does that accord with you to get on in life as part of Looking after No 1?

Is self interest our default position?

Can we not do better than this?

Keir Starmer must oppose Brexit.

Where is the opposition?

Keir Starmer appears to be following the lead of The Midwife of Brexit aka Jeremy Corbyn, by appearing to back a deal. There is no good Brexit deal and the will of the people has changed dramatically. At what point will he and Labour oppose the greatest disaster to face our children? When it’s too late?

Some other bugger’s fault

Looking after No 1 demands that everything is always someone else’s fault. As expected, Johnson continues to blame the European Union for Brexit. I mean, it’s obvious:

  • The Conservatives set the Brexit vote up to heal a problem of cohesion within their own party.
  • The plan failed. Brexit has consumed three Prime Ministers so far.
  • The concept of No Deal was invented a year after the vote was taken. It was never mentioned at the time of the referendum.
  • Various aspects of Brexit have been deemed illegal. These are clearly the fault of judges, doomsayers and snowflakes

All of the above is clearly the fault of The European Union and not the Conservative Party and those who were taken in my the lies. How could anyone think it was Britain that voted for Brexit?

The Blame Game
The Blame Game.

Brexit Means Brexit (still)

Everywhere I work, people are puzzled about why we are still pursuing this and I did this explainer video for our American friends the other week:

Season’s Brexit Greetings.

Enjoy spending your sovereignty this Christmas.

Infect a friend.

Looking after No 1 seems to be in vogue at this time. I am sure that karma will eventually kick in on this shower of liars, bullies and cheats. Britain was better than this … remember Live Aid?

Will the British people do the usual thing? To walk on by and ignore our sleepwalk into fascism? To moan about what happened AFTER it happened?

We can do better than this

Come out of the darkness

Into the light

Our requiem for Brexit. Please download the songs on Bandcamp.
Scotland

Scotland is NOW

We need help to build our website for Scottish independence and free ourselves from Tory lies about Scotland’s need for self-determination after the catastrophe of Brexit. Find our page on Scotland here. We need a fully developed set of proposals that deal with the economy, social affairs, environment, relationships with what remains of Britain, the politics and so on. Recent myths that have emerged include:

Scotland cannot finance itself

Rubbish. Scotland is self sufficient in sustainable energy alone. Scotland outperforms all the other UK nations in terms of international exports. In  contrast, England’s international trade deficit in goods is massive.

Scotland would lose the pound, have no currency or be financially unstable

Rubbish. Scotland already has its own currency and decisions about currency can be made at the most advantageous time to the Scottish people. Plenty of small countries have their own currencies and exist perfectly well on the high seas of a global financial world. To see financial instability in a strong economy one only has to look to Kwasi Kwarteng’s ‘mini budget’ and the impact on Britain’s fortunes! It is bad leadership and financial management that leads to such problems.

This is what trickle down economics looks like ….

Scotland would lose the Royal Family

Rubbish. The royals own a lot of land in Scotland. It’s possible to share our royal family if you concerned about such things. It’s a non-issue if you are a unionist. You can have your Royal Family and eat it too.

Scotland does not have the economy to prosper

Rubbish : Lots of small countries thrive around the world. Scotland is a net exporter. As a member of the single market, Scotland stands to gain from what I call “The Best of Both”.

Scotland would suffer from a land border with England

Rubbish. To quote a well used Brexiteer phrase “They (England) need us (Scotland) more than we need them”. Check the figures re the balance of trade between Scotland and GB. In brief Scotland exports £17,455 per head per year, while the UK exports £8,626.

Why then are the Tories making a big deal of spinning lies about Scotland?

I think it’s simple to understand. In 2019 You Gov reported that Tory voters said that they were happy to see Scotland and Northern Ireland as ‘collateral damage’ of Brexit. Perhaps they have realised how wrong they were in the wake of Brexit Carnage. Even the Torygraph is now reporting that project fear was right all along.

If you are able to help us build the case for an independent Scotland, please get in touch via reboot@brexitrage.com

Private Eyelines

Humour as a weapon against fascism

Private Eyelines : Have I Got Fake Brexit News for EU is just released. Humour is one of the few weapons this Government cannot take away from us. It’s a historical and hysterical record of #Brexit and one that holds this #fascist government to account in ways that spreadsheets and graphs do not. The book helps us deconstruct the fake news of populist media from “The Son” to “The Daily Maul” “Excess” and “Telegravda”. Grab copies for yourself and your Brexity friends now on Amazon or order discount copies direct from the author by e-mailing us at reboot@academy-of-rock.co.uk Here is the book blurb below:

Satire reaches the parts that spreadsheets, graphs and logic do not. Brexit provides a rich dark seam of tragicomedy in a Kafkaesque world of gaslighting, shapeshifting and shameless lies. We live in desperately sad times. But simply drowning in the sadness of Brexit does not help us deal with paranoid populist politicians. Bittersweet levity cuts through people’s minds to their visceral core. Simply stated, satire heals.

Populist media brainwashed leave voters to believe in Brexit unicorns. I tried my hand at parodying these media to expose the lies on which the Brexit hydra reared its many ugly heads. I found that people rather liked my gutterpress pages. Some even believed that they were real!

To change minds on Brexit, it is not sufficient to break the parliamentary paralysis which continues to enable the slow-motion destruction of Britain. Nor is demographic change, aka death, a success recipe. We must actively work on the huddled masses. People almost literally eat lies for breakfast from a biased populist media, owned by people who seem just a little bit too friendly with Vladimir Putin. Private Eyelines opens up the conversation anew with Brexiteers with buyers’ remorse, or Remainers numbed into submission by six years of bullshit and bullying from our so-called political leaders.

Peter Cook is a unique combination of scientist, business consultant and musician. As a 60’s child, his mum made him watch Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, saying “it would be good for him”. It wasn’t! Instead, Peter built a solid career bringing life-saving treatments for diabetes and HIV / AIDS to the world, 18 years tutoring MBAs in academia, writing books and 28 years running a business. His early exposure to Cook and Moore suddenly came to the fore after 24 June 2016, as satire met real life through Brexit. His mis-spent youth and creativity have been rejuvenated through campaigning, writing, music, film making and speaking about our rightful place in Europe. It was good for him after all. Mum was right!


Available to order direct from Amazon – click to view. Discounted copies available direct from the author.

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Changing minds on Europe and Brexit

Changing minds on Europe and Brexit

Finally it’s out !! The new book on Changing minds on Europe and Brexit is here. Click to buy on Amazon or contact me by e-mail via peter@academy-of-rock.co.uk for your personal copy. If you are a sponsor of Re-Boot Britain, you can get a heavily discounted copy to just cover costs.

To find out what it’s all about, join me on Thursday 7 April at 7.00 pm GMT via ZOOM. Here’s the book blurb to give you an insight as to why you will want to buy a copy.

Brexit has broken Britain, economically, socially, culturally, politically and environmentally. Quite simply, Brexit has not delivered what was promised on the tin in 2016, for anyone in our DisUnited Kingdom. This book explains how we may join anew for a better Britain in a better Europe for a better world.

  • Strategies and scenarios to join anew 2021 – 2031.
  • Brexit freedoms, unicorns, ghosts and fantasy stories laid to rest.
  • The influence of Russia and Vladimir Putin on Brexit and the Johnson Junta.
  • The psychology of ‘Brexorcism’ and the anatomy of the Brexit psyche.
  • Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) applied to the task of softening hardened minds on Brexit.
  • How to hold difficult conversations with Leavers in regret and Remainers in remission.
  • How does Brexorcism differ in real life from online conversations and what can you do about it?
  • Strategies to put forward a positive vision of a united Europe and heal rifts from the ‘dialogue of the deaf’ over 6 years.
  • Stories to motivate you and show how these strategies work in practice. Alongside this we explore a number of ‘glorious failures’ as they offer even better insights to success.
  • A resource section on how to break ‘parliamentary paralysis’, how to make progress in advocacy to MPs and how to engage mainstream media (MSM).
  • How to multiply your impact and pro-Europe / anti-Brexit influence in real life conversations, lobbying and in mainstream and / or social media.

A ‘Brexorcism’ requires time, patience, unconditional positive regard and skill. This book provides these elements, drawing on a range of approaches to change management from psychology, sociology and therapeutic approaches.

Here are a few samples to whet your appetite:

Read recent articles P&O Ferries and Brexit, Brexit and WW III, Banged up Bojo, Gavin Esler.

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Book : Changing Minds on Europe and Brexit

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Rejoin Scenarios 2021-2031

Long range thinking on Rejoin Scenarios 2021-2031 the EU. The work of 100 people over many months – too many to mention but you know who you are.

A along read but well worth your time.

Here is the whole article to read : Rejoin Scenarios

And a small snippet to tease you below.

Please join us to discuss them in our summit event on 31 January at 8 pm via Re-Boot Britain

Breadline Britain

By 2031, the impact of The Brexit Hunger Games had been fully felt through civil unrest, the fragmentation of traditional politics and the formation of The People’s Progress Party (PPP), formed from the fragments of Labour, Lib Dems, the influence of powerful individuals such as Gina Miller, a merger with The Green Party and Memoranda of Friendship with the independent Governments of Scotland, Ireland, Wales and The European Union. Although The PPP could not stop the damage done by Brexit, Brexit carnage had eventually unified the people against the remnants of the Conservative Party, allowing a return of some of the more moderate conservatives to public life.  This took place after an attempted takeover by Jacob Rees Mogg and following the worst riots ever seen on the streets of Britain in 2022, after the impact of Brexit on food supplies, gas and electricity supplies, the three-day week, drinking water safety issues and availabilities of goods and services previously taken for granted.  One of the earliest acts of the PPP was to prosecute various culture carriers of Brexit, assisted by The Good Law Project.  In 2026 a group of these people were jailed for various offences, including Boris Johnson, Mark Francois, Nigel Farage, Lord Bethel, Daniel Hannan and Priti Patel.

The PPP was formed in 2023 in a complete volte face of traditional politics.  People were selected for office, based on rigorous selection methods and then elected by people’s assemblies.  Whilst the party had some politicians drawn from the best of the crop, it was formed from people from business, the arts, community leaders, public figures and so on.  This was informed by the insight that some celebrities and sportspeople were more skilled and popular than Westminster politicians.  However, this was no populist uprising.  The PPP insisted on informed democracy, fought the election in 2024 on some old-fashioned ideas about truth, fairness, trust, reforming politics and healing the country.  They won a majority of votes but lost the election to the Conservatives due to the existing First Past The Post (FPTP) system, which Labour had failed to confront and which eventually led to the breakup of the Labour party.  The PPP’s meteoric rise was based on some very good campaigning, based on an ‘Enough is Enough’ message and a promise to make a Better Britain in a Better Europe through Better Politics.  This included plans for electoral reform.  It had become clear that the European Union felt they were better off without Britain at the table and, although they had left the door open to rejoining the EU, it would come with some important pre-conditions.  The most important one was for a complete removal of the Brexit ultras from power, to avoid a ‘Hokey Cokey Brexit’ i.e. an in / out / shake it all about approach to EU membership.  Other items such as Schengen and Euro membership were negotiable depending on whether they felt that our standards of democracy were acceptable and the degree to which English exceptionalism and cakeism had been removed from the political culture.  Some former Brexiteers hid in the shadows rather like people did from 1975 until 2016.

Read the whole article : Rejoin Scenarios 2021-2031

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Read some of our recent articles :

Brexit is Broken

Send in the clowns

Changing Minds on Brexit

The Hunger Games

The Hunger Games

Outside my life on here, I am a business person so, of course, I’m keen to harvest the benefits of Brexit. I’m impatient to discover what they are, as I have been promised a bright future over many years. First I decided to assess the cost-benefits of our new found sovereignty.

SOVRINTY INNIT

I discovered that Britain always had our sovereignty. This was demonstrated in the Supreme Court by Gina Miller. It was actually stated in the Brexit Withdrawal Agreement. How else were we able to close our borders for COVID in 2020 without asking the EU? We have kept the Pound. We turned down Billions of Euros of EU assistance for the Corona crisis. Now we even have our own “British sovereign variant” of Corona, according to Boris Johnson. But I am told by Boris Johnson that 67 million of us each now own a great big bag of sovereignty. To assess the value, I have put my bag up for auction on e-bay for £10 000.

Bags ‘o sovrinty – PRICELESS

Sadly, no one has taken up the offer of the bag. I am prepared to take one penny. Does nobody place any value on it? Will it buy a lunch box for a hungry child?

The Hunger Games

Meanwhile, the real Hunger Games are just beginning. In Northern Ireland, supermarket shelves are emptying, as it becomes apparent that frictionless trade was yet another Brexit unicorn sold by serial liar Michael Gove. In schools, our Government has been so possessed by Brexit that it is unable to organise itself to feed children under lockdown.

Perhaps Jacob Rees-Mogg was on the money when he said that he was not troubled by a few smugglers after Brexit. Here is the Brexit Smuggler’s Song after Rudyard Kipling.

Brexit Priorities

Finally, here is a wonderful poem by Barry Fentiman-Hall called “When Brexit comes (you will not be prioritised)”

When Brexit comes
You will not be prioritised

White is not the original canvas
On which the world was colourized
Jim Davidson will not make a comeback
Chalky was not really his friend
You are not the beginning of anything
Nor the default setting
You will queue for cabbages
With a pantone nation

When Brexit comes
You will not be prioritised

God is not an Englishman
You are not his messenger
Sent to wash the world in shocking pink
Dunkirk was a defeat
A flotilla of weekend pleasure boats
Are not coming to save you
And neither is Sir John Mills with a cold Danish beer
There are no exceptions
You will be on universal credit
With Jakub, Karosh, and Li Cheng

When Brexit comes
You will not be prioritised

How you voted is irrelevant
Maggie and Winston are dead racists and their statues will be pissed on by poodles and shat on by doves
Theresa May will never be any more of a statue than she is now
Conservatism is not a natural state
It does not appear
In the periodic table of elements
The calcium in your bones
Will be at the same levels as your anarchist neighbour

When Brexit comes you will not be prioritised

We are finally all in it together
You and I

There will be no further extension
Brexit will come
It will be televised live from your living room…
And you will be the star…

Ending Brexit populism is our priority and those that continue to push it. Join us every Monday at 8 pm on ZOOM.